Question:
Dear e, I don’t love my serzone. But, I read an interesting article this week at new scientist ( the british magazine,very respectable) that SSRI’s may actually cause the growth of new brain cells to repair PTSD and Depressive brain damage in the hippocampus. I know this sounds incredible but the growth has now been documented in rats. best k
Response:
Hi e,
Hi, Nandina. I like your posts so it’s really neat that you’re replying to me. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Seems like all of the t types you referred to are male. Have you seen any females? That was a better choice for us, though we have problems with females too.
When I was looking for a T, females triggered me much more than males. I was triggered so badly with women Ts that I don’t think a T could work with me in that state. Hmmm. Not that men seem able to in a less triggered one. <G But it was worse with women. I think women tend to trigger strong "mom" stuff. Did most of the Ts trigger you? We understand about the pdoc. Ours is very nice,
very smart,
but doesn’t understand many of the things we tell him.
What doesn’t he understand? Why do you think that is? It seems like if he’s nice and smart, he should understand most of it. The good thing about him is that he doesn’t get angry with us, which is what we expect from males.
That’s good. (: It sounds like mine. Except whenever I mention any problems connected to a drug (A) he prescribed for me a couple of years ago, he’s a jerk. I try to avoid mentioning it. I should have known better even though I needed to in order to answer his question honestly. It was my big duh. But I don’t think he should have stopped prescribing anti-Ds bc he was PO’d about it. (I’d stopped taking anti-Ds for a month or so. At the appt before last, he agreed to prescribe them for me if things got bad. They did so I started taking the anti-Ds again, which we’d agreed to during that appt. But last time, he refused to renew my prescription or prescribe any anti-Ds bc of "all the problems [I had] with [A]". I haven’t taken A in over 2 years. And the problems I had were fairly common ones and have either resolved or are much better now. The drugs (A and the anti-Ds) aren’t chemically related, they don’t affect the same neurochemicals or the same parts of the brain, and they aren’t for the same problems. My T’s reaction seemed completely illogical to me so I figured that something weird was going on with him. Oh, yeah. He sneered when he told me that he wasn’t going to prescribe any anti-Ds for me. And he glared when I mentioned Drug A and stared/glared at his notes (he rarely does that and he’s never done it for most of the session like he did last time) for a long time after I mentioned A. Which, unfortunately, was early in our hour-long meeting. :P~~ And I stupidly continued to talk about A bc I was triggered by his glaring at me and glaring at his notes, then glaring at me, etc. So I understand his being angry. I was really stupid to be triggered by his predictable reaction and was a complete, self-destructive idiot to not shut completely up, esp about A. Where’s dissociation when I need it? 
My female t has referred other DID’s to him because he seems to understand the basics and doesn’t scare them.
I’m glad that you found someone so helpful. Yay! My p-doc has worked with lots of ppl with DID, as a primary therapist and as a p-doc. I think he’s been pretty successful. I think it’s been hard for him to work with me partly bc I’m not multiple. (Long story. He dx’d me with DID but never met any alters – not even the multiple-kind-of-DDNOS type – in the almost 3 years we’ve been working together. He didn’t know how to work with non-multiple/non-borderline dissociation. I looked and looked but couldn’t find anything to help him with that. I’d love to read something on what works for that problem myself.) I find it hard to tell him when I’m in trouble, and he doesn’t get subtle stuff from me. Still, I never know how much truth to tell and never totally disclose SI or thoughts of same, although have shared with t.
Does that work ok with the p-doc? Are you able to tell him enough for him to be helpful? What do you tell him and what do you avoid (except SI stuff)? I’ve learned to never share much of that stuff with Ts or p-docs. They seem incapable of dealing with it rationally. The whole mess with Drug A was bc my p-doc (then T) got freaked when F, another T who was doing an eval, called him and told him that I was really suicidal and "leaned on [my T] to do something". Bc of the results of one test. I know it was only the test bc F told me that. I *hope*, *hope*, *hope*, I don’t space out and forget this if I’m *ever* inclined to tell any T about any self-destructive urges or thoughts. My old T (current p-doc) seemed ok with it for a long time but then completely and abruptly changed course after F called him. It was right when I needed him to remain constant and predictable. How can I ever trust Ts when they seem fine (wrt the topics of suicide and SI) for a long time, say that’s what they’ll do, etc., then cave when another professional "leans on" them or whenever they freak? What does your T do when you talk about SI or suicidal urges? How have you two set things up so that it’s safe for both of you if you talk about it in therapy? Still, went through a very difficult depression and he pushed for but didn’t force hospitalization. (I would rather be d**d than locked up with no protection from patients or staff.)
Me, too. My current p-doc did the same during the F fiasco. Which made things worse bc, to me, it was an indication of how freaked he was. I felt like I needed to "fix" that in/for him so that we could both deal with the problem rationally , just as he seemed to feel like he needed to "fix" my reaction in/for me. Maybe that was easier for both of us than each of us dealing with our own reaction? We were a threat to each other. (It’s probably not good to have a client off hirself after another professional warns you of that imminent possibility. It’s not good to have a T pushing for hospitalization when you think that would be quite harmful.) <sigh I guess it’s part of Ts’ training to think that their judgment is better than ours? Why do they push for one option instead of helping ppl find other options or helping them evaluate their options for themselves without undue influence from anyone? It’s so paternalistic. <puke It’s even worse bc they say that they do the latter, not the former. Like, I’m supposed to believe that. I keep telling my current T: "I’m not a *complete* idiot, you know." I take 4 different drugs for anxiety and depression. I wouldn’t be here without them.
I’m glad that you found them and that they work for you. :) I am at max dose for two of the anti-depressants–SRUI and a tri-cyclic. Having been depressed for most of my life,
Me, too. It may be genetic for me. these drugs enable me to function and live a nearly normal life. I had 40 years to learn what it was like without drugs–hard as hell and hardly worthwhile.
That’s a long time. I’m sorry that it took so long to find something to help. I also take 300 mg of lithium each day, which my pdoc says potentiates the anti-depressants (makes them work better.) For a while he had me on 900 mg, but that gave me the shakes.
I never heard of using lithium for that. That’s cool. Does it increase the side effects as well? I have tried different members of the benzodiazepene family, even went off all anxiolytics last year. It was okay, but made life just a little harder to deal with, more depression, feeling frozen. I went back on lorazepam (ativan) to make it possible for me to have surgery. Afterwards, I realized that I was functioning better at work–less procrastinating and avoiding hard things. I will continue the ativan until such time as I stop being afraid of life–maybe when I learn to fear d**th?
LOL. Maybe the two are connected. It is really wonderful to be able to go to work and have some degree of confidence that you will be functional throughout the day.
Alright! For me, the ativan seems to prevent dissociative episodes brought on by anxiety.
That sounds good. (: Waking-up dissociated and not being able to take over from a little was very frustrating and very depressing. (I am co-conscious 99% of the time.) If I take 1.5 at bedtime and wake-up to early, I take 1 more, go back to bed. Almost always wake-up centered this way.
That sounds good, too. I may not give my pdoc the whole truth, but he has listened to me, to adjust/change medication so that I feel I’m at my best. With recurring major depression, I expect to use anti-depressants the rest of my life. I think you will have some awareness when/if you get onto a drug regimen that works for you. I believe that many of us resist meds because it is a sign of the pdoc’s control–too similar to abusive figures of our youth.
Or a sign or weakness or being bad or crazy or something. I like drugs that are effective and whose side-effects are minimal compared to the drug’s benefits. I don’t like other drugs. But I think some ppl don’t want to take meds. I listen to my body carefully, exercise regularly and still use chocolate as a mood-altering food. I’ve given up most caffeine (yes, I know that there’s caffeine in chocolate.)
Congrats! I cut back but I still drink too much coffee and cola. I try to watch my diet and have gradually lost weight over the past few years. Yes, I still do uncontrolled bingeing during life crises. Sometimes I can persuade myself to take extra ativan which seems to help stop the bingeing I have worked on developing alternative mood altering activities and am occasionally successful, avoiding food. But food still wins more than half the time.
That’s hard for me, too. When I’m anxious, I overeat. Some of the drugs have made it much worse. So I’m still taking baby steps, but I can see where I’ve been. I like the progress.
I like that. I think it’s hard
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Response:
Hello k, This would be an article I would love to read! Do you know of a URL or book-journal title? Sierra of TN
Response:
dear sierra, I read it in the latest issue of the "new scientist" which has the research refs. Some of the articles in each issue are at their web site . Just search on "newscientist". I don’t know is this one is. best your friend k – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -This would be an article I would love to read! Do you know of a URL or book-journal title? Sierra of TN
Response:
nov 8 issue new scientist page 7-8. best penny
Response:
Thanks, k. Sierra of TN – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – dear sierra, I read it in the latest issue of the "new scientist" which has the research refs. Some of the articles in each issue are at their web site . Just search on "newscientist". I don’t know is this one is. best your friend k This would be an article I would love to read! Do you know of a URL or book-journal title? Sierra of TN
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