Question:
If I were as angry as you over this, I would try to expose this group somehow for their practices. . That would repair the Self esteem. I think there are religious debunkers on the net. Societies who focus on this sort of thing and expose it. See if you can’t connect up with them. Another option is to talk with the local news paper and see if at any time they might be doing any articles on Religious abuse, ask if they would want some anonymous contribution from your experiences. Put your anger to use, make positive change for everyone. Try to turn something bad into something good (like a valuable learning experience for others) That’s what I would do. Stephanie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -John Edwards wrote: > Hi there, > Hello it is me again. We spoke before about religious abuse. I have > currently contacted a cult-survivors centre. He says that I am not suffering > from PTSD, but rather from bitterness and anger. > What sort of teachings do they have at the Christian-Freudian centre? How > would you reccommend dealing with anger? > The best thing I would recommend is a book about Self-Esteem that I have by > Gael Lindenfield: "Self Esteem" there is a chapter about recovering from > emotional upset, and it offers practical methods. Not just self-talk "Oh I > will forgive them". An interesting thing is that she suggests various stages > of recovery the last one being forgiveness. But she also says "This is a > bonus and is not essential". > John Ed. > EddaB <ed…@aol.com> wrote in message > news:19990802152453.10008.00005957@ng-fa1.aol.com… > > Traumatised people can carry around a lot of anger. They are usually angry > at > > the person who traumatised them and or the people who didnt help at the > time. > > If the anger festers its easy to redirect it to anyone. > > It might be a good idea to support people who want to vent anger where it > > really belongs. I believe that people who want to talk about revenge > should be > > treated seriously and sympathetically. Our Christian-Freudian culture > teaches > > us to forget our hatred, just move on….. I think that advice harms a > lot of > > people. it make them feel guilty and helpless and even more angry. > > Just imagine after the Second World War, telling Eli Weisenthall he > should > > forget about the Nazis. He didnt forget – he spent the rest of his life > > bringing them to justice. > > If anyone seriously wants to discuss revenge…I am a sympathic ear = > > Email me at Ed…@aol.com > > best wishes Edda
Response:
I think your doing a good job Tim in refereeing this group. I’ll leave you to comment on this garbage. . Stephanie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -LuanneP wrote: > >Hehe….I think I detect a new newgroup: > >alt.support.trolls.hubby’s-a-pervert > No, I meant that seriously…..not so much to upset ’someone’ but I am > wondering, if that is so, if her husband is addicted to pornography as she has > stated on other newsgroups, perhaps that COULD be part of the problem, unless > it is another fabrication. A fabrication, just like now she is an expert in > recovery, and also have full-blown PTSD and flashbacks. > Best, > Lu
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>I think your doing a good job Tim in refereeing this group. I’ll leave you to >comment on this garbage. . >Stephanie
Stephanie: This comment was made by me not to make fun of you, but to perhaps address your issues. You have mentioned that your husband had an addiction to pornography, yet you seem to avoid answering this now. I thought that it might be the cause of some of your ‘issues.’ Anybody that lives with someone who has an addiction can clearly be as sick as that person, so to speak. Best, Luanne
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It’s called co dependence. Stephanie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -LuanneP wrote: > Anybody that lives with someone who has an addiction > can clearly be as sick as that person, so to speak. > Best, > Luanne
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>It’s called co dependence.
I know what it is called. I just wondered if perhaps it is the cause of your ‘issues.’ I notice that you ask many people personal questions about themselves, for instance, you asked Tim his age, where he lived, etc…, yet you are very, very vague about yourself these days. I notice that when you respond to posts here, you use examples such as "I know of a man who…." or "A friend of mine is an alcoholic" yet none of these things are related to you personally/directly. Is there a reason for this? Luanne
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LuanneP wrote: > >It’s called co dependence. > I know what it is called. I just wondered if perhaps it is the cause of your > ‘issues.’
No. > I notice that you ask many people personal questions about themselves, for > instance, you asked Tim his age, where he lived, etc…, yet you are very, very > vague about yourself these days. I notice that when you respond to posts here, > you use examples such as "I know of a man who…." or "A friend of mine is an > alcoholic" yet none of these things are related to you personally/directly.
His alcoholism affects my friendship with this person and therefore I am affected directly. . – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Is there a reason for this? > Luanne
Response:
Hi there, Hello it is me again. We spoke before about religious abuse. I have currently contacted a cult-survivors centre. He says that I am not suffering from PTSD, but rather from bitterness and anger. What sort of teachings do they have at the Christian-Freudian centre? How would you reccommend dealing with anger? The best thing I would recommend is a book about Self-Esteem that I have by Gael Lindenfield: "Self Esteem" there is a chapter about recovering from emotional upset, and it offers practical methods. Not just self-talk "Oh I will forgive them". An interesting thing is that she suggests various stages of recovery the last one being forgiveness. But she also says "This is a bonus and is not essential". John Ed. EddaB <ed…@aol.com> wrote in message
news:19990802152453.10008.00005957@ng-fa1.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Traumatised people can carry around a lot of anger. They are usually angry at > the person who traumatised them and or the people who didnt help at the time. > If the anger festers its easy to redirect it to anyone. > It might be a good idea to support people who want to vent anger where it > really belongs. I believe that people who want to talk about revenge should be > treated seriously and sympathetically. Our Christian-Freudian culture teaches > us to forget our hatred, just move on….. I think that advice harms a lot of > people. it make them feel guilty and helpless and even more angry. > Just imagine after the Second World War, telling Eli Weisenthall he should > forget about the Nazis. He didnt forget – he spent the rest of his life > bringing them to justice. > If anyone seriously wants to discuss revenge…I am a sympathic ear = > Email me at Ed…@aol.com > best wishes Edda
Response:
> EddaB wrote: > > Traumatised people can carry around a lot of anger. They are usually angry at > > the person who traumatised them and or the people who didnt help at the time. > > If the anger festers its easy to redirect it to anyone. > I think this is one of the causes of fighting on this ng. It’s hard when > I see someone being abusive here, especially someone who reminds me of > my own abuser, not to react with all the force of those feelings I’ve > carried around for years.
*****well actually most ng’s have this problem, there seems to be something frustrating generally about them and the Internet. However, the past history of people will serve as a catalyst to this, making it worse***** > > It might be a good idea to support people who want to vent anger where it > > really belongs. I believe that people who want to talk about revenge should be > > treated seriously and sympathetically. Our Christian-Freudian culture teaches > > us to forget our hatred, just move on….. I think that advice harms a lot of > > people. it make them feel guilty and helpless and even more angry.
****** most scriptural advice in these situations harms. Unfortunately even apostle Paul could not visualise how religion could be abused in the future. My advice to people is to seek secular advice/therapy, but still keep God in Prayer. Seeking advice from bona-fide Christians and listening to their depowering forgive and forget comments ultimately brings about an increase in frustration and a decrease in self esteem. However being that we are dealing with false teachers here, Jesus sure knew how to flame all the Pharisees and all that! So perhaps a degree of revenge is acceptable. [?]****** > I agree that trying to just forget your anger is generally a bad idea, > but I don’t think revenge is the best alternative. Everyone’s different, > but I haven’t found revenge to be ultimately satisfying. It provided > temporary relief, but it didn’t reduce my own pain and it added to my > feelings of guilt. > Getting justice is another story. I can imagine that it would be helpful > to see your abuser jailed so that they can’t hurt you or anyone else > again. I can also see where material reparation (for example, from a > lawsuit) could help. But to me, that’s very different from revenge. Even > seeking justice isn’t right for everyone. I think that’s the sort of > thing we each have to determine for ourselves.
******I would go as far to say that seeking justice provides only short-term relief. Consider these sayings after an abuser has just been sent down. "he should have got longer" "he’ll be out soon" "prison is less than he deserves" *************************************** > Expressing anger to your abuser could also be right for some people. > That’s not something I want to do right now, but I might reach that > point sometime. If I do it, it won’t be to punish them or bring them to > their knees. It will be to finally say all the things I always wanted to > but never dared. I would do it for myself, to get if off my chest. I > wouldn’t even really expect them to hear it (they’ve never been able to > hear anything I said before), but at least I’d know I had put it out > there. > Finally, I think they’re being punished without any help from me. I > don’t believe in a literal hell where bad people go when they die, but I > think we all create our own heaven and hell. For all the pain they > inflicted on me, I think the pain they inflict on themselves is worse.
Amen – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> – Emma
Response:
Traumatised people can carry around a lot of anger. They are usually angry at the person who traumatised them and or the people who didnt help at the time. If the anger festers its easy to redirect it to anyone. It might be a good idea to support people who want to vent anger where it really belongs. I believe that people who want to talk about revenge should be treated seriously and sympathetically. Our Christian-Freudian culture teaches us to forget our hatred, just move on….. I think that advice harms a lot of people. it make them feel guilty and helpless and even more angry. Just imagine after the Second World War, telling Eli Weisenthall he should forget about the Nazis. He didnt forget – he spent the rest of his life bringing them to justice. If anyone seriously wants to discuss revenge…I am a sympathic ear = Email me at Ed…@aol.com best wishes Edda
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> Now I also see that it is claiming to have ptsd and is an expert on >substance abuse….neither is true.
I just have to say this, and I don’t mean to cause trouble, but isn’t pornography addiction a form of abuse? If somebody lives with someone who has an addiction to pornography, they could be codependent…what do you think? Best, Luanne
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>Hehe….I think I detect a new newgroup: >alt.support.trolls.hubby’s-a-pervert
No, I meant that seriously…..not so much to upset ’someone’ but I am wondering, if that is so, if her husband is addicted to pornography as she has stated on other newsgroups, perhaps that COULD be part of the problem, unless it is another fabrication. A fabrication, just like now she is an expert in recovery, and also have full-blown PTSD and flashbacks. Best, Lu
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