Question:
J wounder if anybody ever think about that the cute lovly litle babys becomes very questning, angry, testing youngters one day? How can you as a parent be prepered for this? And is it so easy to love as it was? — Anna
Response:
J wounder if anybody ever think about that the cute lovly litle babys becomes very questning, angry, testing youngters one day? How can you as a parent be prepered for this? And is it so easy to love as it was?
Anna, NON-ADOPTED babies ALSO grow up to be testing "teenage" youngsters – so what? That’s what parents expect, whether adoptive or birth parents. And you prepare for it by educating yourself. kgj
Response:
J wounder if anybody ever think about that the cute lovly litle babys becomes very questning, angry, testing youngters one day? How can you as a parent be prepered for this? And is it so easy to love as it was? — Anna
Let alone what happens to all the highways idiots in this country "adopt," us’n adoptees tend to act up a little more, considering we’re offered less respect constitutionally. Your definition of "Love" is self-evident, and clearly lacking any sort of unconditional acceptance. My aparents were just like what you’re describing, but I don’t fault them for it at this point in my life (35yrs later).They did the best they could with the knowledge they had. Their sudden ability to procreate on their own (possibly a reaction to satisfying & easing the pressure with the "purchase" of a WM baby in decent health?) was probably as shocking to them as it was detrimental to my ’status.’ My life was downhill from there, suddenly realizing at the ripe old age of 6 that I "wasn’t a part of (that) family" during a regular beating. Thanks to some 23 years of therapy, I’ve gotten over a lot of that, but I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to laugh at it. My A-parents were lucky too, as a certain miraculous forgiveness has permeated our relationship, although it’s still full of pot-holes (maybe someone ought to adopt this highway?). Thank god for the support of groups like this, which helped me keep going to reunite with biomom. That hasn’t exactly been easy, either, considering she thought the records were left open. She was a little miffed to say the least. I’m still pissed. You raise a good point, Anna, one which should absolutely be thoroughly contemplated by anyone even thinking about "adopting." Marko – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -J wounder if anybody ever think about that the cute lovly litle babys becomes very questning, angry, testing youngters one day? How can you as a parent be prepered for this? And is it so easy to love as it was? — Anna
Response:
You raise a good point, Anna, one which should absolutely be thoroughly contemplated by anyone even thinking about "adopting."
Or having kids "the old fashioned way". A lot of kids grow up to be rebellious, angry, testing their limits, teenagers. It’s part of growing up and attempting to make the distinction and seperation between yourself as an individual and your family. Beth The Truth is Out There….somewhere…isn’t it?
Response:
J wounder if anybody ever think about that the cute lovly litle babys becomes very questning, angry, testing youngters one day? How can you as a parent be prepered for this? And is it so easy to love as it was?
You make it sound like loving our children is something we rethink and recalculate daily. I love my children unconditionally, now and when they were cute cuddly babies. They are not so cute anymore (pimples and greasy hair and sullen expressions) nor are they so cuddly (too big to sit on my lap) but I love them just as much if not more now. I remember the pain of being 13 and I didn’t have to contend with people asking about my "real" parents and all that other garbage. Sure their not pleasant all the time but i wouldn’t trade them for anything – not for anything. They are the most important things in my life. They are the reason I get up every morning. AND the reason I come home every night. We find ways to snuggle now that fit us all. AMom still in love with her kids
Response:
I have a 13 year old adopted son who is autistic, ADHD, PTSD, ect. and he was much more difficult to live with when he was 5. As far as I’m concerned, the sun rises and sets on his fair head, and my life would end if I lost him. But I’ll tell you, nobody in the world could love me as completely as he does- not my other kids, not my spouse, certainly not my parents! And he’s a very difficult person, so I know that nobody could love him as I do. SO, I guess we were "made for each other." -c
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