Trauma – PTSD

Question:

Thanks Owl. I don’t feel very strong much of the time. I haven’t seen you around lately. I don’t read as much as I used to though, so maybe I’m just missing your posts. I hope you’re doing well. k4k

Response:

It won’t……. babies are easy….. Teenagers are gods way of punishing us for enjoying sex.

heh. Actually, she’s a really good kid. I hope she doesn’t go and get rebellious on me. k4k, knocking on wood

Response:

Thanks Wohali. I still think of you as Eeyore Moo! HA!  There are a few who remember. I really wanted this post to reflect that I’m doing a bit better. I’m not so sure it came across that way. I was happy to see things getting better but I still want it to get easier for you.  A place where you wouldn’t need to fight so hard.

This depends on what day it is. Some are very hard. Some not so hard at all. I think just about everyone here knows the roller coaster routine pretty well. Accepting the way things are is a big step. Knowing that this is the way things will always be. It’s a huge step and oftentimes, a peace comes along with that acceptance.

That’s what I’m desperately searching for. I don’t know if i will ever find it. Thanks Mrs. Moo k4k

Response:

Thanks Wohali. I still think of you as Eeyore Moo!

HA!  There are a few who remember. I really wanted this post to reflect that I’m doing a bit better. I’m not so sure it came across that way.

I was happy to see things getting better but I still want it to get easier for you.  A place where you wouldn’t need to fight so hard. Accepting the way things are is a big step. Knowing that this is the way things will always be.

It’s a huge step and oftentimes, a peace comes along with that acceptance. Working on the things I can do something about. Kind of like the serenity prayer. k4k

*nod*  Sometimes it’s difficult to discern what things one can change or what things to accept.   Love ya, Mrs. Moo — Wohali === My Page == http://www.geocities.com/wohali7/

Response:

Owl – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Yesterday was my daughter’s thirteenth birthday. I’m throwing a big party for her tomorrow. This is my small way of making up for the past two years of not being able to do a lot for her. Raymond’s birthday is on the 16th of April. It’s a hard time of year for me. I was telling some people I know how much better I’m doing this year. I really am doing much better this year. I am finally coming to terms with the person I have become. I accept the fact the my little boy is gone, and that a part of me has gone with him. I know that grief will always be a part of me. However, as time goes by, the feelings of intense anguish happen less frequently. I live a new kind of normal that becomes less new and more normal with every passing day. I’m accepting this new reality. Will I ever feel joy again? I don’t know. It doesn’t seem likely at this point in my life. I do know I will never feel joy without a bittersweet tinge to it. I accept this. Will I ever feel contentment again? I believe this is possible, as I have flashes of good feelings. They are gone as quickly as they come, partly due to guilt, partly due to depression. I think meds and therapy could help me here. I have medical insurance, so now is the time to start with it. Now if only I could stop procrastinating. Before last night, I was also thinking that the ptsd was gone. I hadn’t had a flashback in months. I thought that this part was done for me. Unfortunately that is not the case. Maybe I’ll post about it. This is a hard pill to swallow. I don’t want to accept this, but I may have to. k4k

Response:

A teenager, wow.  :-)   I hope it gets easier, sis.     {{{{{{{ kat }}}}}}}

Thanks Wohali. I still think of you as Eeyore Moo! I really wanted this post to reflect that I’m doing a bit better. I’m not so sure it came across that way. Accepting the way things are is a big step. Knowing that this is the way things will always be. Working on the things I can do something about. Kind of like the serenity prayer. k4k — I am here Or there, or elsewhere. In my beginning. T.S. Eliot

Response:

x-no-archive:yes I think about you often, k4k, and hope whatever comes your way, that you’re able to deal with it with your special gentleness.  "Dates" are hard, I feel for you, honestly.  Please be well and enjoy the good days.

Thank you. As you probably know, the anticipation is often worse than the day itself, at least for me that is the case. I’m doing ok for the time being. Easter will be hard. His birthday is the very next day. k4k — Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless – Mother Teresa

Response:

((((((((((kit4kat))))))))))) i can’t even imagine how you feel, such an unimaginable horror. i admire your strength and endurance… God bless you ~

Thanks donna. I’m really doing much better this year. My daughter is worried I’ll be sad at her party and just fake like I’m having fun. She is so perceptive and smart and honest. God how I love her. I told her I would not have had a party at all if that were the case. She has been through too much. She still has so much to go through. <sigh k4k — I am here Or there, or elsewhere. In my beginning. T.S. Eliot

Response:

A teenager, wow.  :-) I hope it gets easier, sis. {{{{{{{ kat }}}}}}} — Wohali === My Page == http://www.geocities.com/wohali7/

It won’t……. babies are easy….. Teenagers are gods way of punishing us for enjoying sex.

Response:

A teenager, wow.  :-)   I hope it gets easier, sis.     {{{{{{{ kat }}}}}}} — Wohali === My Page == http://www.geocities.com/wohali7/ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Yesterday was my daughter’s thirteenth birthday. I’m throwing a big party for her tomorrow. This is my small way of making up for the past two years of not being able to do a lot for her. Raymond’s birthday is on the 16th of April. It’s a hard time of year for me. I was telling some people I know how much better I’m doing this year. I really am doing much better this year. I am finally coming to terms with the person I have become. I accept the fact the my little boy is gone, and that a part of me has gone with him. I know that grief will always be a part of me. However, as time goes by, the feelings of intense anguish happen less frequently. I live a new kind of normal that becomes less new and more normal with every passing day. I’m accepting this new reality. Will I ever feel joy again? I don’t know. It doesn’t seem likely at this point in my life. I do know I will never feel joy without a bittersweet tinge to it. I accept this. Will I ever feel contentment again? I believe this is possible, as I have flashes of good feelings. They are gone as quickly as they come, partly due to guilt, partly due to depression. I think meds and therapy could help me here. I have medical insurance, so now is the time to start with it. Now if only I could stop procrastinating. Before last night, I was also thinking that the ptsd was gone. I hadn’t had a flashback in months. I thought that this part was done for me. Unfortunately that is not the case. Maybe I’ll post about it. This is a hard pill to swallow. I don’t want to accept this, but I may have to. k4k

Response:

((((((((((kit4kat))))))))))) i can’t even imagine how you feel, such an unimaginable horror. i admire your strength and endurance… God bless you ~ donna — So are you gonna stand there Are you gonna help me out You need to be together now- I need you now … message : Yesterday was my daughter’s thirteenth birthday. I’m throwing a big : party for her tomorrow. This is my small way of making up for the past : two years of not being able to do a lot for her. Raymond’s birthday is : on the 16th of April. It’s a hard time of year for me. I was telling : some people I know how much better I’m doing this year. : : I really am doing much better this year. I am finally coming to terms : with the person I have become. I accept the fact the my little boy is : gone, and that a part of me has gone with him. I know that grief will : always be a part of me. However, as time goes by, the feelings of : intense anguish happen less frequently. I live a new kind of normal : that becomes less new and more normal with every passing day. I’m : accepting this new reality. : : Will I ever feel joy again? I don’t know. It doesn’t seem likely at : this point in my life. I do know I will never feel joy without a : bittersweet tinge to it. I accept this. : : Will I ever feel contentment again? I believe this is possible, as I : have flashes of good feelings. They are gone as quickly as they come, : partly due to guilt, partly due to depression. I think meds and : therapy could help me here. I have medical insurance, so now is the : time to start with it. Now if only I could stop procrastinating. : : Before last night, I was also thinking that the ptsd was gone. I : hadn’t had a flashback in months. I thought that this part was done : for me. Unfortunately that is not the case. Maybe I’ll post about it. : This is a hard pill to swallow. I don’t want to accept this, but I may : have to. : : k4k

Response:

Yesterday was my daughter’s thirteenth birthday. I’m throwing a big party for her tomorrow. This is my small way of making up for the past two years of not being able to do a lot for her. Raymond’s birthday is on the 16th of April. It’s a hard time of year for me. I was telling some people I know how much better I’m doing this year. I really am doing much better this year. I am finally coming to terms with the person I have become. I accept the fact the my little boy is gone, and that a part of me has gone with him. I know that grief will always be a part of me. However, as time goes by, the feelings of intense anguish happen less frequently. I live a new kind of normal that becomes less new and more normal with every passing day. I’m accepting this new reality. Will I ever feel joy again? I don’t know. It doesn’t seem likely at this point in my life. I do know I will never feel joy without a bittersweet tinge to it. I accept this. Will I ever feel contentment again? I believe this is possible, as I have flashes of good feelings. They are gone as quickly as they come, partly due to guilt, partly due to depression. I think meds and therapy could help me here. I have medical insurance, so now is the time to start with it. Now if only I could stop procrastinating. Before last night, I was also thinking that the ptsd was gone. I hadn’t had a flashback in months. I thought that this part was done for me. Unfortunately that is not the case. Maybe I’ll post about it. This is a hard pill to swallow. I don’t want to accept this, but I may have to. k4k

Response:

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