Question:
yes i have just now learned this i am ashamd of this i was posting on the ng for offenders in recovery and someone threatened me with contacting my server about it i am not sure what caused me to be so angry i think i was triggered about the abuse i have had it is another wonderful aspect of my disgusting life i have to correct thanks for letting me post
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Nancy wrote: > Hi Coz! > > Something I became aware of, though, as a result of having been > > stalked, is that the shunning will usually lead to more frenzied > > behavior for a while before the situation improves. I found this to be > > true in both the real world and on the internet. > In my experience, this is true whenever I change my behaviors relative to > someone who has abused me. The abuser works harder in an attempt to > re-establish his/her prior position. Sometimes he/she doesn’t give up > without assistance of the professional kind, in my case it was the police > and judicial system. > Having said that … does anyone still here remember the rants we used to > have here? No, not Luanne; she’s doing well in recovery. I seem to > remember the name ‘John’. No, not JohnC, but another John who attempted to > run this ng like an extension of his own hellish world? > He drove me away from this ng for about 6 months … maybe a year ago, maybe > longer ago. > Seems like this is a reincarnation of that situation. I do believe that > this time I am in better shape … I’ll try to withstand this situation by > not retreating. However, if folks decide to retreat, in the interests of > their own recovery, I think that may be a rational decision for them. > I just hope that they return when they feel better, as I did. The > companionship here is a real help in progressing away from ‘isolating’, > which is my primary symptom lately. :/ > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy
What is truly sad is the willingness to blame other for how they feel. I lost count on how many times I asked about boundaries, and asking questions. And when no one wants to answer, I take the garbage. So be it. Why should I expect anything less when dealing with folks who are emotionally unstable.
Response:
Hi Coz! > Something I became aware of, though, as a result of having been > stalked, is that the shunning will usually lead to more frenzied > behavior for a while before the situation improves. I found this to be > true in both the real world and on the internet.
In my experience, this is true whenever I change my behaviors relative to someone who has abused me. The abuser works harder in an attempt to re-establish his/her prior position. Sometimes he/she doesn’t give up without assistance of the professional kind, in my case it was the police and judicial system. Having said that … does anyone still here remember the rants we used to have here? No, not Luanne; she’s doing well in recovery. I seem to remember the name ‘John’. No, not JohnC, but another John who attempted to run this ng like an extension of his own hellish world? He drove me away from this ng for about 6 months … maybe a year ago, maybe longer ago. Seems like this is a reincarnation of that situation. I do believe that this time I am in better shape … I’ll try to withstand this situation by not retreating. However, if folks decide to retreat, in the interests of their own recovery, I think that may be a rational decision for them. I just hope that they return when they feel better, as I did. The companionship here is a real help in progressing away from ‘isolating’, which is my primary symptom lately. :/ Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
Hi Rick! > However it is not acceptable behavior and won’t be tolerated by me.
I agree … the behavior is unacceptable. But … how in the world do you think that you can control this kind of stuff on usenet? :/ Someone posted something about shunning and that is the only technique that I know which is acceptable behavior for me. And, me is the person to protect from unacceptable behavior, isn’t it? Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
BaliKris wrote: > Good point Nancy and the reason that I stayed away from this board when there > was an abuser here. I quickly spotted the new one and determinedly avoided > them. It is nearly inevitable though and it takes maturity and sensitivity to > admit things like this to ourself and stop. > Please stop.
So where were all the rational folk at the idea ONE e-mail of support constituting STALKING. Or when, of all the possible (symptoms returning the obvious) reasons someone might not be posting extrapolated in a character assassination. What was the original abuse you avoided?????????? I don’t expect a reply. Commenting through a third person, and not directly is par for the course.
Response:
Nancy wrote: > Hi Rick! > > However it is not acceptable behavior and won’t be tolerated by me. > I agree … the behavior is unacceptable. But … how in the world do you > think that you can control this kind of stuff on usenet? :/ Someone posted > something about shunning and that is the only technique that I know which is > acceptable behavior for me. > And, me is the person to protect from unacceptable behavior, isn’t it? > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy
Hypocrites. The physical threat from Rick will end this conference.
Response:
Good point Nancy and the reason that I stayed away from this board when there was an abuser here. I quickly spotted the new one and determinedly avoided them. It is nearly inevitable though and it takes maturity and sensitivity to admit things like this to ourself and stop. Please stop. Kristine The unexamined life is not worth living – Socrates
Response:
"Nancy" <ki…@cris.com> wrote: > I agree … the behavior is unacceptable. But … how in the world do you > think that you can control this kind of stuff on usenet? :/ Someone posted > something about shunning and that is the only technique that I know which is > acceptable behavior for me. > And, me is the person to protect from unacceptable behavior, isn’t it?
It was Carole who suggested shunning, and I do agree that it’s the best way to handle such a situation. It puts the decision and responsibility for ignoring the behavior on the person who doesn’t want to see or become involved in it, rather than asking for a group consensus and then trying to figure out where to go from there. I have learned that appealing to someone who has no or limited understanding of others’ boundaries will usually get nowhere and simply leads to more chaos. Something I became aware of, though, as a result of having been stalked, is that the shunning will usually lead to more frenzied behavior for a while before the situation improves. I found this to be true in both the real world and on the internet. Coz Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
Hi Folks! We’ve had an interesting couple of weeks here. :/ One of the characteristics of folks who have been abused is that many of us turn around and abuse others. This is not intentional, actually, it is a learned response which needs to be addressed in therapy. One of the characteristics of folks who have PTSD is that we have distorted thinking. My hypervigilance is such that I can perceive an insult where none was initially intended. Then, matters escalate. :/ How about a cease fire here? Please. If we have differences of opinion, so be it. But, we do not have to become abusers ourselves, unless we really want this way of life. I do not. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
If you like this post and would like to receive updates from this blog, please subscribe our feed.