Question:
Hey Chimera, If venting helps you, then VENT! — Hugz, Connie=^..^=
| I hope the conflict I was involved in yesterday can now rest. I’m | giving up old ways. One is being attracted to conflict. | | I have bitched and moaned an awful lot on ASD/F. If you’re tired of | reading it, rest assured, I am equally tired of living it. _I am | working towards self-sufficiency and change_. Venting keeps my RL | temper under control (though a good sweaty bike ride is better!). I | need to vent less and less. Trigger sensitivity is only slight now. | Want it to stay that way. | | For all the crap I spew, there is much I _don’t_ say. Such as details | of the last part of my former marriage, including ongoing verbal | abuse. _I was an equal participant_. I don’t post events due to my | PTSD and the manifestations of my ex’s PTSD. There are many reasons | that resulted in being where I _temporarily_ am. | | Until recently, I woke up every day with the same anxiety and dread I | woke up with for six years before. It’s taken until now to realize | I’m not going to wake up to a stupid fight, verbal wrestling match or | other nonsense. | | Here’s an example. Coffeemakers with timers were the solution to my | ex’s hatred of not waking up to a ready pot of coffee. Pretty benign | habit. Sometimes, one of us would forget to set it up the night | before. In the morning all hell would break loose. When I got a | coffeemaker with a timer at a thrift store last month and began | setting it up every night, I remembered the anxiety of waking up to my | ex’s displeasure of no coffee. If he wasn’t being _real_ vocal, there | was banging of cabinet doors and such. Everyone has bad habits. The | coffee one bugged me. | | OTOH, he usually remembered to put the toilet seat down and couldn’t | care less who used the TV remote. :P | | You may physically leave a situation. It takes a while for your brain | to realize you’re gone. If you have PTSD, it takes a little longer. | | There are other examples I prefer to keep off the NG. The ex lurks | here on occasion. It dosen’t bother me. He was part of ASD before we | broke up. Why he decides not to post, only he knows. We discuss (not | fight, _discuss_) nasty stuff about our marriage privately. | | It took years for my situation to develop, in spite of my efforts to | avoid the mess. I tried in the past to make better circumstances for | myself. Fortunately, it should take only months to start improving | it. | | I’d like to ask ASD/F people to Email when you have criticism. If | you’re angry or disagree with me, fine, send it. I’ll read anything | that isn’t pointlessly abusive and I won’t be abusive in return. | Details kept off the NG’s, if appropriate, can be added. It might | help the NG environment a little… it’s been a hostile place | lately… | | Geez. The kinder-gentler act is pretty creepy. Oh, well, it’s | healthy and I like it. | | Don’t worry, I will still kick ass when I have to! :P | | — | chimera: learned a lot, a lot to learn | be careful what you ask for. you might get it.
Response:
I’m giving up old ways.
You going to stop talking about yourself then? Bri — Om Mani P
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