Trauma – PTSD

Question:

<Enter Fritz> Tim Gatty wrote in message <85salq$ea…@plutonium.btinternet.com>… >Read somewhere recently that most people with schizophrenia have an iq one >standard deviation below average iq.

I hope you are right…I’d be a god damned genius! In my experience, sz tend to be above average in "intelligence" and/or creativity…for whatever reason. >Of course whether this is their inate iq or simply the iq they were able to >achieve as a result of their illness is open to debate. >In my opinion it is quite possible for someone to have an iq several >standard deviations above the norm.This person has a breakdown at college >and therefore performs several levels lower than he or she used to.This >person’s inate iq is still the same but the iq he/ she is able to utilise is >somewhat lower. >Of course if you are intelligent and schizophrenic/mentally ill you are >often regarded as being something of a subversive after all most >schizophrenics are supposed to be gibbering idiots.

I have never once in my life "gibbered". I am not even sure what the heck it is PP >In the eyes of many people ngs like this one should be an impossibility.

Point taken…I have heard the same comment made by the Duck on several occasions. I embrace the ramifications of this actuality entirely. Fritz on the fritz…

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -damod…@webtv.net wrote: > Rainbow. Look first off we all recognize you as a beautiful person and a > real asset to have in our lives. We feel like that. You know this right? > Remember this because they are chewing your self image to shit and you > are in a situation where you are forced to constantly explain how crazy > you are that is an awful experiance. I know this. We all know this. > Here are some words….. > " Do you think I would willingly live on an income like this unless I > had no choice?" > " Are you suggesting that I have been fakingpsychiatric disrder for "so > meny years" (say number) and that this alone is NOT evidence of a > psychitric problem?" > " You mean I am intentionally forcing my daughter to lve in poverty and > working on a tight food budget because of my morals > inspite of my doctors diagnosis and the anti-psychotic medication I am > on?" > Hope this is better help then my prevous Jews and Nazis post.

you  are so nice )) i dont think im gonna let those people own me..  but.. im willing to play along for a bit.. caause, i need the help. if i am approved, i can get the rest i need to actually really start doing some actual work to get better… so far its all just been finding out exactly whats going on…. ive come a long way since living out of my car ten years ago! im sure i will be capable of supporting myself again…. but at this rate, i know that its gonna be a couple of years. i mean, i have never had a regular job. i have never paid taxes. all ive ever done is sell artwork. i   know i’ll be able to do that again. but… im never gonna be ms. normal. thanks for te encouragement that is pretty rare in my life, sadly  :))))) anna > Damo

– —————————— ‘the softest of all soft things overrides the hardest of things….’ — i ching "blessed am i to dwell in this beautiful temple" ~~~~~~~~~ rainbows ~~~~~~~~~~

Response:

<enter Fritz> damod…@webtv.net wrote in message

<286-3880C96…@storefull-618.iap.bryant.webtv.net>… >I….just won’t attack no damn clerk no matter how much they corner me. >I won’t do it.

Snap out of it man! Don’t you know it’s in our job description to hack off a head or two every full moon? )) >We are jews and this is Nazt Germany. >No shit. >Damo

I know where you are coming from…I have said exactly the same thing… Fritz on the fritz…

Response:

"Dan Coyote, Jon Steiner, Fritz on the fritz, BWAG!, Morpheus" wrote: > <Enter Fritz> > You like that "spoon" thing, don’t you…

actually i do. from a zen persepctive. i saw the movie, i thought it was very interesting for completely my own reasons im sure. the thing i like best  is that slipknot idea… fear is a slipknot kind of.. > >just a few days ago i finally got to see the results, and everything in > >my file.. its been really really interesting……… > Please post all the details on the ng…I assure you, I won’t tell anyone > what you said. <chuckle>

god it was pretty bad. :0)) lets just say, there were plenty of incidences recorded that will help me prove my claim of instability (((  >>sigghh<< it might as well benefit me somehow, ya know?? > BTW…you have heard Of "Echelon"? > It is a code name for a government internet privacy invasion program which > indiscriminately (or discriminatately if it is set that way intercepts > inet information globally using key words etc. > Big Brother is still watching )) Hi Agent Wally Smith <wave wave> … > <ponder> how do they sleep at nights? > I try to entertain them…must be boring as bat shit.

i have not… but ive heard of similar things. big brother scares the living daylights out of me.. but i intend to calmly, quietly, and persistently  research the edges of their influence until i have found exactly how far, how high, it goes.. and i will work to subvert and undermine their efforts in any way i can, hopefully without getting assass*nated or something similar for my efforts. dig?? > Which reminds me of a joke: > Q: What do you call 2000 CIA,NSA and KGB agents 200 meters at the bottom of > the ocean? > A: A bloody good start!.

just scratchin’ the surface :-}} our whole govt is dirty right now, bush and all those guys and all the crap they pulled. its absolutely unbelievable what some poeple get away with. but it cant last. > Hmmm…let me see… > The leg cramps tonight…or perhaps the respiratory > failure/suffocation…how about the nausea and stomach cramps…or the > breaking the toe on the wall trick? > Maybe a simple extended period of psychological intimidation? > What the heck…how about something new this time…break up the > monotony…and a few bones in the bargain PP > <from the back row from Bwag!> > "You’ll be sorry u said that!"

you take care of yourself now cow. > You may not have found your optimum med. > The first one I took made my skin crawl so badly I had to stop.

the first one i took made me hallucinate… i refused to take any more after two days.. then the next one made me panicky….. and the next one made me homicidal….. there is one that works partially, but it doesnt do it all so they are searching for no. 2 that wont cause me to lose my mind. > Well It took me about 30 years to meta-Morpheus into the fine example of > stability you see before you now!? PPPP

hmm. i was wondering about that. from what i understand its one of those longer processes. you have done a delightful wonderful job. living well is the absolute best revenge. lessee… im 33…. ive been kinda working on it for ten years or so… and seriously working on it for 2… so i got a little ways to go… ((( fine job, dan and guys. > >i still have  unpredictable mood swings, outbursts of anger, ‘poor > >impulse control’, and  the like…. every single day…. a hysterically > >funny comment they made was "crimes committed by these individuals are > >often poorly executed" ….. i take exception to that!!!! > And so you should! > If a thing is worth doing…it is worth doing,… well? ))

one would hope so. ) > >but its funy because that is exactly the way the test results described > me…….. > >they said individuals that score as i did either have ’sever > >psychopatholgy’ or they lied on the test! talk about at least being > >’good at something’ :-}}} (iow, i didnt lie > BTW, what does "IOW" mean?

in other words. > >((hug)) > Hmmmm!!! <wink> > Fritz on the fritz…

(((hug))) — —————————— ‘the softest of all soft things overrides the hardest of things….’ — i ching "blessed am i to dwell in this beautiful temple" ~~~~~~~~~ rainbows ~~~~~~~~~~

Response:

Tim it is actually harder to get benifits if you are physically disabled. That is my understanding of it here in te U.S.

Response:

try to get a case worker to go to court with you, one from the county, as upleasant as "needing" these kind of people can be, it was accepting their help. that enabled me to get on my feet.

Response:

anna if you plead your own case it will make you look more sane. better to get somebody to help you. you have to show them you can’t even handle that much okay.

Response:

Man oh man fritz you amaze me. You have such a startling good view of all the little things. Like the variations on the going to sleep business for example. It’s such a pleasure to see this stuff expressed so clearly and almost non-chanlantly. Don’t stop. Oh please don’t stop. … Isn’t a I.Q. of 115 above average? One of the most profound and interesting people I ever met had an I.Q. of 80. I accidently saw it in his army records when I was in the service. I’ve never given I.Q. a twit of value ever since. I think it’s how you use what you know. I.Q. doesn’t measure that. I.Q. might mean you have a fast car but it doesn’t say shit about the driver.  

Response:

Rainbow. Look first off we all recognize you as a beautiful person and a real asset to have in our lives. We feel like that. You know this right? Remember this because they are chewing your self image to shit and you are in a situation where you are forced to constantly explain how crazy you are that is an awful experiance. I know this. We all know this. Here are some words….. " Do you think I would willingly live on an income like this unless I had no choice?" " Are you suggesting that I have been fakingpsychiatric disrder for "so meny years" (say number) and that this alone is NOT evidence of a psychitric problem?" " You mean I am intentionally forcing my daughter to lve in poverty and working on a tight food budget because of my morals inspite of my doctors diagnosis and the anti-psychotic medication I am on?" Hope this is better help then my prevous Jews and Nazis post. Damo

Response:

"Dan Coyote, Jon Steiner, Fritz on the fritz, BWAG!, Morpheus" <Manage…@nospam.com> wrote in message

news:0Udg4.214$fD1.13119@nsw.nnrp.telstra.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> <enter Fritz> > rainbows wrote in message <3880F435.67A42…@efn.org>… > >they say that i am too intelligent and have enough education that i can > >still perform some jobs. > The dirty sods!!! <wink. > >i still am kinda smart… they listed my iq as 115……. that really > >hurt…. it used to be a whole lot higher than that :-}} > That is a whole lot better than all the gangs IQ put together. > So you did an IQ test recently? > You are aware that some IQ tests could be biased in certain directions? > It could favour one ability over another. > Also, you weren’t really expecting your results would show you at your best > while you are suffering the way you have described? > Your scores haven’t gone away…I strongly suspect they are simply waiting > until it is safe to come out again. > In what form was the test? > >i am at max level. i just cant take *any* stress. i am totally subject > >to unpredictable mental changes and states, that totally disable me from > >doing anything but lying in bed…. i am prone to attacking people > >unpredictably…. i cannot trust myself in any way shape or form to be > >able to keep even the simplest of commitments. > >i am hoping that i can gather evidence of that. i hope that letters and > >papers will prove to be enough. > >comments?? questions?? > The only suggestion I can offer is that the negatives you described would > cause me to investigate increased meds or a change to something else. > Tho I don’t like taking "medication", there sometimes comes a point were > your lifestyle is worse without them than with them. > Are you taking them regularly and at a sufficient dosage? > Being a walking zombie isn’t fun but you could always talk to your doctor > about reducing them again after a couple of weeks. > What about a doctor’s report. > You do have a regular one that you consult? > Fritz on the fritz…<hug>

Read somewhere recently that most people with schizophrenia have an iq one standard deviation below average iq. Of course whether this is their inate iq or simply the iq they were able to achieve as a result of their illness is open to debate. In my opinion it is quite possible for someone to have an iq several standard deviations above the norm.This person has a breakdown at college and therefore performs several levels lower than he or she used to.This person’s inate iq is still the same but the iq he/ she is able to utilise is somewhat lower. Of course if you are intelligent and schizophrenic/mentally ill you are often regarded as being something of a subversive after all most schizophrenics are supposed to be gibbering idiots. In the eyes of many people ngs like this one should be an impossibility. Tim > I would suggest that whoever said you had an iq of 115 probably had an iq

less than 115 themselves!

Response:

<Enter Fritz> rainbows wrote in message <3882B689.DFA4B…@efn.org>… >thats very kind of you. :-}}}  actually i guess it *was* an estimated iq >really… based on a psych evaluation i had for this whole ssi thing >last year. i dont think they did give me a real iq test after all. >anyway. )  there is no spoon.

You like that "spoon" thing, don’t you… >just a few days ago i finally got to see the results, and everything in >my file.. its been really really interesting………

Please post all the details on the ng…I assure you, I won’t tell anyone what you said. <chuckle> BTW…you have heard Of "Echelon"? It is a code name for a government internet privacy invasion program which indiscriminately (or discriminatately if it is set that way intercepts inet information globally using key words etc. Big Brother is still watching )) Hi Agent Wally Smith <wave wave> … <ponder> how do they sleep at nights? I try to entertain them…must be boring as bat shit. Which reminds me of a joke: Q: What do you call 2000 CIA,NSA and KGB agents 200 meters at the bottom of the ocean? A: A bloody good start!. Hmmm…let me see… The leg cramps tonight…or perhaps the respiratory failure/suffocation…how about the nausea and stomach cramps…or the breaking the toe on the wall trick? Maybe a simple extended period of psychological intimidation? What the heck…how about something new this time…break up the monotony…and a few bones in the bargain PP <from the back row from Bwag!> "You’ll be sorry u said that!" >well.. check this out.. basically i lived in my car for the last ten >years… that made me kinda spooky… i only started real treatment a >little over two years ago…. since then, it jsut keeps getting worse >and worse. >i have extreme reactions to meds, during which ive been jailed, ive been >kicked out of classes, refused to be seen anymore by two different >counselors……. despite my best efforts and intent to be mellow, >peaceful, and get better….

You may not have found your optimum med. The first one I took made my skin crawl so badly I had to stop. >we’re not even sure at this point that we have the right ‘combination’ >of meds yet… or the right ‘diagnosis’ either. they have switched me >around numerous times and many of those times have been highly unpleasant. >for some reason im really really sensitive to meds and if i take ‘the >wrong one’ sometimes i totally flip out….. so im taking some, but they >are terrified to try me on others, and im pretty sure that we will still >do some changing in the future.

Best of luck… >so that issue is far from settled. im still not even really ’stabilized’ >in any real sense yet after over two years!!!!! and i dont see it >happening any time soon. i am definitely making progress.. but it has >been VERY slow and very rocky. and im not in any way sure the worst is

over. Well It took me about 30 years to meta-Morpheus into the fine example of stability you see before you now!? PPPP >i still have  unpredictable mood swings, outbursts of anger, ‘poor >impulse control’, and  the like…. every single day…. a hysterically >funny comment they made was "crimes committed by these individuals are >often poorly executed" ….. i take exception to that!!!!

And so you should! If a thing is worth doing…it is worth doing,… well? )) >but its funy because that is exactly the way the test results described me…….. >they said individuals that score as i did either have ’sever >psychopatholgy’ or they lied on the test! talk about at least being >’good at something’ :-}}} (iow, i didnt lie

BTW, what does "IOW" mean? >> Fritz on the fritz…<hug> >thank you for my hug sweetheart. ) >its like a soft daisy in a big field of thorns. ) >((hug))

Hmmmm!!! <wink> Fritz on the fritz…

Response:

In article <388238F0.C8482…@efn.org>,   a…@efn.org wrote: > damod…@webtv.net wrote: > > Rainbow try to get some Docs to sign stuff for you. > actually thats what i was gonna do. im feeling kind of despondent > actually becuase, if they wont give benefits to a vet, wwhy would they > give them to a hippiie???

I never found any two shrinks who had the same openions about the same things, first VA shrink could not have found his ass with both hands and passed the buck to another shrink who said there was nothing wrong with me since it was one of my better days, then bounced me back to another shrink who was on loan from a free clinic and I scaerd that dude to death thinking I was going to throw down on him if he pissed me off and gave some meds that flipped me out, then passed on to another shrink who had all kind of PhDs and she kicked me out of her group for vets with PTSD after I insulted her (have to read about that in the Nam diary) she bummed the guys out so bad that they started leaving and when I got up to leave for a different reason the hog said "Now where are YOU going ?" but I had spent most of the day drinking coffee and had to take a leak, but her comment did not set well and just said "Hay lady, I had ten cups of coffee today, but if you want me to say I will stay and just take a leak over there in the corner." so none of those people did me any good at all, but here in this area I was evaluated by another VA shrink who understood the system and in reviewing records he certified me as a genuine head case and reported some abuse he spotted in giving meds that were harmful while at another VA hospital. > ya know… im thinking if i can prove an inability to keep appointments, > to be on time, to get my daughter to school, all of which is 100% true, > then im hoping to argue that, even if i *have* the intellectual ability > or even the social ability to handle simple tasks, which i do, i am very > far from having the emotional ability (or rather stability) that going > to a job every day requires…..

That is the key, good days and bad days seen togeather to present the whole picture. my good days were rare and was only evaluated from that single interview, but afterwards I could not even find my way home and went into shock not knowing where I was and at the mercy of whatever came along and ended up in the drunk tank with my car impounded even though I do not drink and just all wacky in the head. > if i can only ‘count on myself’ to be consistently functional for > several hours a week, i dont think that constitutes ability to work a > full time job.. or even a part time one.

It is very needful for them to see how we function under stress or from lack of sleep rather than ideal circumstances, if you get a jerk for a boss or a heavy workload the performance will not be the same, I change from one extreem to the other and really lose it in stressful or abusive conditons and head sails right out there into the twilight zone and start getting flashbacks from Nam and will throw down on anybody I view as a threat. They are just recently starting to put it all togeather rather than seeing how we are in the best of times. > > My friend in Florida who is wheelchair bound from tw fault hip > > rplacement surgeries was taken off because they said she could be a > > secratary with her typing skill? She lives in constat pain? > > She had several turndowns when she tried o refute that she could work > > and the last time she brought letters from he daughter and parents and > > friends and neighbors. > thats what im gonna do.

The more the better, need to show how it is from day to day, a shrink can only evaluate how it is during an interview and why there must be sworn letters from those who know how it is all the time and the tolerance levels. > ) > as for attacking people.. its not as impressive somehow when you are a > 5′1" 100 lb little girl  ….. :-} > anna

One left hook will convince anybody, my nurse was about the same height and weight and would have been a good body guard, bold as a lion and nobody messed with that lady in seeing how quick she was to ruin someones sex life with one kick. Crazy Lou http://www.grizzadam.com/ Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.

Response:

"Dan Coyote, Jon Steiner, Fritz on the fritz, BWAG!, Morpheus" wrote: > <enter Fritz> > Also, you weren’t really expecting your results would show you at your best > while you are suffering the way you have described? > Your scores haven’t gone away…I strongly suspect they are simply waiting > until it is safe to come out again. > In what form was the test?

thats very kind of you. :-}}}  actually i guess it *was* an estimated iq really… based on a psych evaluation i had for this whole ssi thing last year. i dont think they did give me a real iq test after all. anyway. )  there is no spoon. just a few days ago i finally got to see the results, and everything in my file.. its been really really interesting……… > The only suggestion I can offer is that the negatives you described would > cause me to investigate increased meds or a change to something else. > Tho I don’t like taking "medication", there sometimes comes a point were > your lifestyle is worse without them than with them. > Are you taking them regularly and at a sufficient dosage? > Being a walking zombie isn’t fun but you could always talk to your doctor > about reducing them again after a couple of weeks. > What about a doctor’s report. > You do have a regular one that you consult?

well.. check this out.. basically i lived in my car for the last ten years… that made me kinda spooky… i only started real treatment a little over two years ago…. since then, it jsut keeps getting worse and worse. i have extreme reactions to meds, during which ive been jailed, ive been kicked out of classes, refused to be seen anymore by two different counselors……. despite my best efforts and intent to be mellow, peaceful, and get better…. we’re not even sure at this point that we have the right ‘combination’ of meds yet… or the right ‘diagnosis’ either. they have switched me around numerous times and many of those times have been highly unpleasant. for some reason im really really sensitive to meds and if i take ‘the wrong one’ sometimes i totally flip out….. so im taking some, but they are terrified to try me on others, and im pretty sure that we will still do some changing in the future. so that issue is far from settled. im still not even really ’stabilized’ in any real sense yet after over two years!!!!! and i dont see it happening any time soon. i am definitely making progress.. but it has been VERY slow and very rocky. and im not in any way sure the worst is over. i still have  unpredictable mood swings, outbursts of anger, ‘poor impulse control’, and  the like…. every single day…. a hysterically funny comment they made was "crimes committed by these individuals are often poorly executed" ….. i take exception to that!!!! but its funy because that is exactly the way the test results described me…….. they said individuals that score as i did either have ’sever psychopatholgy’ or they lied on the test! talk about at least being ‘good at something’ :-}}} (iow, i didnt lie > Fritz on the fritz…<hug>

thank you for my hug sweetheart. ) its like a soft daisy in a big field of thorns. ) ((hug)) — —————————— ‘the softest of all soft things overrides the hardest of things….’ — i ching "blessed am i to dwell in this beautiful temple" ~~~~~~~~~ rainbows ~~~~~~~~~~

Response:

<enter Fritz> rainbows wrote in message <3880F435.67A42…@efn.org>… >they say that i am too intelligent and have enough education that i can >still perform some jobs.

The dirty sods!!! <wink. >i still am kinda smart… they listed my iq as 115……. that really >hurt…. it used to be a whole lot higher than that :-}}

That is a whole lot better than all the gangs IQ put together. So you did an IQ test recently? You are aware that some IQ tests could be biased in certain directions? It could favour one ability over another. Also, you weren’t really expecting your results would show you at your best while you are suffering the way you have described? Your scores haven’t gone away…I strongly suspect they are simply waiting until it is safe to come out again. In what form was the test? >i am at max level. i just cant take *any* stress. i am totally subject >to unpredictable mental changes and states, that totally disable me from >doing anything but lying in bed…. i am prone to attacking people >unpredictably…. i cannot trust myself in any way shape or form to be >able to keep even the simplest of commitments. >i am hoping that i can gather evidence of that. i hope that letters and >papers will prove to be enough. >comments?? questions??

The only suggestion I can offer is that the negatives you described would cause me to investigate increased meds or a change to something else. Tho I don’t like taking "medication", there sometimes comes a point were your lifestyle is worse without them than with them. Are you taking them regularly and at a sufficient dosage? Being a walking zombie isn’t fun but you could always talk to your doctor about reducing them again after a couple of weeks. What about a doctor’s report. You do have a regular one that you consult? Fritz on the fritz…<hug>

Response:

the duck wrote: > rainbows <a…@efn.org> wrote in message news:3880F435.67A42DDC@efn.org… > > actually michelle its kinda weird that you shoud mention the income > > thing. i used to sell artwork and paintings that i made. > you have the touch of genius rainbows. > I should work on this

i need that kind of encouragement )))) acatually though, i am working on it…. thats definitely a goal. in my heart i feel that its gonna be at least another five or six years before i have it together enough to support myself. and sometimes i honestly fear i’ll only get worse and never get better. ( i need to convince them that im emotionally incapable of getting, keeping or successfully completing any  job… they say i could still be a package handler or a kitchen helper :}}  (i love reading those legal papers.) but, even if i could -intellectually- or physically handle either of those jobs, there is still no way that i could guarantee my *presence* at them the way employers usually like.. which is, every day….. on time…. relatively dependable… etc. i could make it maybe one or two days a week, and i would be exhausted for all the other days.. i couldnt keep it up. my nerves would be shot ) thanks for helping me think this out. since i have fog-brain and im planning to carry out my own case, it helps to practice as much as possible. )) thank you anna > Michelle

– —————————— ‘the softest of all soft things overrides the hardest of things….’ — i ching "blessed am i to dwell in this beautiful temple" ~~~~~~~~~ rainbows ~~~~~~~~~~

Response:

walt wrote: > Hi Rainbows, > I’ve always heard the the first denial of SSI is automatic & is best simply > ingored as meaningless. A second denial does sound more serious though. > I have no knowledge or advice, but it seems to me that if you can document > or otherwise describe the various difficulties you relate here you should > make a very good case. IQ is a ridiculous basis for denying support in my > opinion. SZ is not an IQ problem any more than a physical disability is an > IQ problem.

thanks walt. thats what they keep saying. it doesnt surprise me to be denied twice. they want to make sure people really need it i guess.. i get to see a judge feb 7. like i said in the other letter im hoping to get  some documentation of all the emotional instabilites i deal with.. for instance i had to change my daughter to a different school becuase i was only getting her there 50% of the time. and even now, *they* had to arrange a ride for her because i still could not get here to school relieably. that is pretty bad. walt: i have to tell you this, its very funny: i got to read the papers for my case… i read the results of one test they gave me.. apparently i scored so high on one part, that it showed either  a  -fake- result (which i didnta do) or a diagnosis of ’severe psychopathology’…. which i would tend to support…. so in other words i scored so weird as to be a possible fake result…… > I hope all goes well for you.

thanks walt. im hoping the documentation will help. anna – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Walt > rainbows wrote: > > actually michelle its kinda weird that you shoud mention the income > > thing. i used to sell artwork and paintings that i made. > > i plan to go back to that as soon as im ‘able’ which at this rate could > > be never ) > >  but ****actually****…. this feb 7th i actually have a court date to > > argue my case for ssi…. i first applied over a year ago… theyve > > denied me twice so now i have to go to court about it. > > im kinda nervous… they just sent me all the papers, and ive read them > > through. its pretty interesting to see your ‘case’ laid out in such a > > clinical way like that. > > i was laughing at what the different people said about me. > > at any rate. im pondering how to approach it. im hoping to be able to > > convince them what a thin thin thread im actually hanging by right > > now… its hard for people to appreciate if theyve never really been > > there….. plus, when you have made a life out of *pretending* to be > > functional when you are damn well not, sometimes that little ‘act’ is a > > downside. > > thanks, and im interested in ANY advice…. ) like i said, the court > > date is feb 7th. > > i have until next wendesday to gather up and mail in some forms and any > > extra evidence i can get to prove that im actually a lot less functional > > than it might seem. > > they say that i am too intelligent and have enough education that i can > > still perform some jobs. but i think thats just not true.. > > i still am kinda smart… they listed my iq as 115……. that really > > hurt…. it used to be a whole lot higher than that :-}} > > but, the main thing is my nerves are shot… ive been in treatment now > > for two years, and made as much progress as has been humanly possible > > for me.. and still…. i have been in jail, i have wrecked the house, > > assaulted people, had unpredictable spells of crippling nausea and > > vomiting just from being too stressed out…. > > cant even drive my daughter to school… cant even make one freaking > > appointment a week….. i have late notices every month becuase i cant > > check the mail.. i cant pay bills… i dont even answer the telephone > > lots of times, just becuase, im at overload. i cant take anymore. i just > > cant do it. > > i am at max level. i just cant take *any* stress. i am totally subject > > to unpredictable mental changes and states, that totally disable me from > > doing anything but lying in bed…. i am prone to attacking people > > unpredictably…. i cannot trust myself in any way shape or form to be > > able to keep even the simplest of commitments. > > i am hoping that i can gather evidence of that. i hope that letters and > > papers will prove to be enough. > > comments?? questions?? > > anna > > — > > —————————— > > ‘the softest of all soft things > > overrides the hardest of things….’ > > — i ching > > "blessed am i to dwell in this beautiful temple" > > ~~~~~~~~~ rainbows ~~~~~~~~~~

– —————————— ‘the softest of all soft things overrides the hardest of things….’ — i ching "blessed am i to dwell in this beautiful temple" ~~~~~~~~~ rainbows ~~~~~~~~~~

Response:

damod…@webtv.net wrote: > Rainbow try to get some Docs to sign stuff for you.

actually thats what i was gonna do. im feeling kind of despondent actually becuase, if they wont give benefits to a vet, wwhy would they give them to a hippiie??? but… the fact is i cannot work.. i cant even get the mail… im hoping to get some letters from peopel who see me every day.. or rather, see me those days i can make it out of the house…. i dont think there is any job in the economy who will put up with someone who cannot be at the same place at the same time two days in a row. ya know… im thinking if i can prove an inability to keep appointments, to be on time, to get my daughter to school, all of which is 100% true, then im hoping to argue that, even if i *have* the intellectual ability or even the social ability to handle simple tasks, which i do, i am very far from having the emotional ability (or rather stability) that going to a job every day requires….. if i can only ‘count on myself’ to be consistently functional for several hours a week, i dont think that constitutes ability to work a full time job.. or even a part time one. even if i worked at home, i could maybe count on an hour or two a day…and then, who knows whats gonna happen next month… or the month after…. it hasnt let up for two whole years.. i dont know what i should think its gonna let up now… > My friend in Florida who is wheelchair bound from tw fault hip > rplacement surgeries was taken off because they said she could be a > secratary with her typing skill? She lives in constat pain? > She had several turndowns when she tried o refute that she could work > and the last time she brought letters from he daughter and parents and > friends and neighbors.

thats what im gonna do. ) as for attacking people.. its not as impressive somehow when you are a 5′1" 100 lb little girl  ….. :-} anna > I think that helped. > Bring a list of the meications you have taken over the years. Especially > the neuroleptics. > I….just won’t attack no damn clerk no matter how much they corner me. > I won’t do it. But……… > That apparently works quite effectively. > I have very strong moral constraints and I simply refuse to accept those > rules. So I will recommend you don’t do it ether. > We are jews and this is Nazt Germany. > No shit. > Damo >     ————————————————————— >  [Play audio for button (1)] >  [Image]

– —————————— ‘the softest of all soft things overrides the hardest of things….’ — i ching "blessed am i to dwell in this beautiful temple" ~~~~~~~~~ rainbows ~~~~~~~~~~

Response:

Oh my God have e got a nightmare. I too have been told my big chance for disabled veteran statis won’t o through unless I attack somebody. And nobody will even tell me what Idid to warrent being taken off disability. But if I go and attack physically it will be a gimme to get reimstated. My only chance is a military solution? Thats incredible. Rainbow try to get some Docs to sign stuff for you. My friend in Florida who is wheelchair bound from tw fault hip rplacement surgeries was taken off because they said she could be a secratary with her typing skill? She lives in constat pain? She had several turndowns when she tried o refute that she could work and the last time she brought letters from he daughter and parents and friends and neighbors. I think that helped. Bring a list of the meications you have taken over the years. Especially the neuroleptics. I….just won’t attack no damn clerk no matter how much they corner me. I won’t do it. But……… That apparently works quite effectively. I have very strong moral constraints and I simply refuse to accept those rules. So I will recommend you don’t do it ether. We are jews and this is Nazt Germany. No shit. Damo

Response:

hi anna,  i am just getting ready to file for a hearing before judge for ssd after being denied twice, your story sounds similar–i ’should’ be able to do stuff ’cause i’m smart etc.  it is so frustrating, i know. if they would have actually talked to me or met me the first 2 times i don’t think they would have turned me down. i wonder if they even read the stuff we submit. anyway just wanted to wish you the best, everyone says to get a lawyer.   lny

Response:

<ln…@webtv.net> wrote in message

news:3997-38804119-2@storefull-262.iap.bryant.webtv.net… > hi anna,  i am just getting ready to file for a hearing before judge for > ssd after being denied twice, your story sounds similar–i ’should’ be > able to do stuff ’cause i’m smart etc.  it is so frustrating, i know. if > they would have actually talked to me or met me the first 2 times i > don’t think they would have turned me down. i wonder if they even read > the stuff we submit. anyway just wanted to wish you the best, everyone > says to get a lawyer.   lny

Do mentally ill people in US have more difficulty getting benefits than physically disabled? Here in UK mentally ill  tend to have more difficulty getting additional benefits than physically disabled even though physically disabled are more likely to be able to work and to be in work for longer periods of time. Therefore physically disabled tend to be financially better off through being in work more often and when not in work via higher levels of benefit. I think such an unfair and irrational  discrepancy reflects the negative attitude of governments and society towards mental illness and adds to the problems the mentally ill have to face. In the eyes of many people the mentally ill are either collectively scroungers and hypochondriacs or individually potential homocidal maniacs.In either case mental illness is seen in a negative and highly misinformed light. In my experience people working for benefits agencies are often  hostile and unsympathetic to those with mental illness.The last time i had to go there to sort something out i was deliberately left till last along with someone else who had recently been discharged from the  psychiatric department of a local hospital. In my case i was trying to obtain replacement benefits as a result of my wife having been mugged and her purse stolen along with the shopping  she had just got. In the end they gave me about two thirds of the benefit that had been stolen with the proviso that the money had to be paid back. We had done nothing wrong but had to pay for someone elses wrongdoing. In the eyes of the people dealing  with benefits crime doesn’t pay if you happen to be an unsuspecting victim! Tim

Response:

rainbows <a…@efn.org> wrote in message news:3880F435.67A42DDC@efn.org… > actually michelle its kinda weird that you shoud mention the income > thing. i used to sell artwork and paintings that i made.

you have the touch of genius rainbows. I should work on this Michelle

Response:

Hi Rainbows, I’ve always heard the the first denial of SSI is automatic & is best simply ingored as meaningless. A second denial does sound more serious though. I have no knowledge or advice, but it seems to me that if you can document or otherwise describe the various difficulties you relate here you should make a very good case. IQ is a ridiculous basis for denying support in my opinion. SZ is not an IQ problem any more than a physical disability is an IQ problem. I hope all goes well for you. Walt – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -rainbows wrote: > actually michelle its kinda weird that you shoud mention the income > thing. i used to sell artwork and paintings that i made. > i plan to go back to that as soon as im ‘able’ which at this rate could > be never ) >  but ****actually****…. this feb 7th i actually have a court date to > argue my case for ssi…. i first applied over a year ago… theyve > denied me twice so now i have to go to court about it. > im kinda nervous… they just sent me all the papers, and ive read them > through. its pretty interesting to see your ‘case’ laid out in such a > clinical way like that. > i was laughing at what the different people said about me. > at any rate. im pondering how to approach it. im hoping to be able to > convince them what a thin thin thread im actually hanging by right > now… its hard for people to appreciate if theyve never really been > there….. plus, when you have made a life out of *pretending* to be > functional when you are damn well not, sometimes that little ‘act’ is a > downside. > thanks, and im interested in ANY advice…. ) like i said, the court > date is feb 7th. > i have until next wendesday to gather up and mail in some forms and any > extra evidence i can get to prove that im actually a lot less functional > than it might seem. > they say that i am too intelligent and have enough education that i can > still perform some jobs. but i think thats just not true.. > i still am kinda smart… they listed my iq as 115……. that really > hurt…. it used to be a whole lot higher than that :-}} > but, the main thing is my nerves are shot… ive been in treatment now > for two years, and made as much progress as has been humanly possible > for me.. and still…. i have been in jail, i have wrecked the house, > assaulted people, had unpredictable spells of crippling nausea and > vomiting just from being too stressed out…. > cant even drive my daughter to school… cant even make one freaking > appointment a week….. i have late notices every month becuase i cant > check the mail.. i cant pay bills… i dont even answer the telephone > lots of times, just becuase, im at overload. i cant take anymore. i just > cant do it. > i am at max level. i just cant take *any* stress. i am totally subject > to unpredictable mental changes and states, that totally disable me from > doing anything but lying in bed…. i am prone to attacking people > unpredictably…. i cannot trust myself in any way shape or form to be > able to keep even the simplest of commitments. > i am hoping that i can gather evidence of that. i hope that letters and > papers will prove to be enough. > comments?? questions?? > anna > — > —————————— > ‘the softest of all soft things > overrides the hardest of things….’ > — i ching > "blessed am i to dwell in this beautiful temple" > ~~~~~~~~~ rainbows ~~~~~~~~~~

Response:

Grizz wrote: > — > I had to completely flip out before all of those dummies got the word > that I was a walking time bomb and a Heckle and Jive personality—piss > on it—Mr.Hyde and the other dude. > I went the SSI route that took a year to go nowhere but in circles, they > pump you up in the beginning telling you how much you will get and then > proceed to start chopping you down and put you in a hopeless situation to > make things worse than before in having to fight for every inch, I ended > up getting arrested after freaking out in the office, seeing all these > drug dealers and alcoholics getting paid for their habits while I was > squeeky clean with genuine head problems and a desperate war vet.

that sucks. they did find no addiction problems with me ) i was glad for that. > Persistance is the key here, but very hard to keep your cool under stress > and being jerked around by people with an attitude who seem to get some > sick pleasure in playing God when they know you are between a rock and a > hard place and they have the power to make or break, but I was just too > proud to put up with that shit and lost it.

well i have a kid to support… i kind of have no choice…. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> When I moved to this area I could not find work and living on a two digit > income, things almost came through once but just when I was going to be > paid for school and getting some OJT, that is when the Government went > broke and all the bleeping help centers were shut down, same day when I > was gettting caught up on the shot record, given physicals and ready to > go to work, then Clinton got a wild hair in his ass to shut the Gov. > down, almost turned me into a militant revolutionary. > I applied for SSI again here in this area, once again pumping me up > saying I would be getting over $1000 mo. filling out endless forms and > family relating how unstable I was etc. etc. then getting a letter saying > that things were declined, so after an appeal I was sent to a shrink for > evaluation, but as soon as I stuck my head in the door all I could hear > was people talking Vietnamese lingo, everyone Vietnamese in that place > and I just went nuts, head was back in the jungle and to me they were all > "Charlie" and when the shrink came out to take me by the arm to go into a > room (I thought it was to be interrogated) I threw down on the guy and > made my escape, also got arrested again but was just taken home by a cop > who was also a Nam vet and knew exactly what was going on. > They declined the SSI again in spite of that violent episode, so I filed > a claim with the Veteran’s Administration again and met with the same > attitude like we are the enemy or something, so I went to congress with > all of the medical records and war records and police reports and they > went to bat for me, not all will do this, but I had stacks of records > that proved I was a head case and then the VA shrink who was a neat guy > looked further into things and saw where I was experimented on with > behavior drugs and filed his own complaints about it and was awarded > $45,000 plus $950 for the rest of my life unless I flip out again, but am > evaluated at 70% disabled.

thats good. it isnt always eaasy to wring a fair deal out of the us of a. > It is a hard way to go, but I did learn that if you are declared to be > unemployable this will qualify you as 100% disabled, but you can not > allow people to dictate which way your life goes or let the state lead > you around by the nose and determine the quality of life they say you > must accept, since they flat out don’t give a shit if you live or die > when it comes down to where the rubber meets the road at the level of > politics and bureaucrats, all is dog eat dog at that level when you are > just a number, there are caring people but most of these are not the ones > calling the shots.

i wont. i need some rest. ive been running since i was born jsut about! ive never had a time when i wasnt being effectively tortured since i was born… im tired…. i really dont have it in me to get any farther on my own. i have to have some rest.. at least for a while… i cant see any other way right now to get it…… i know there is no way i could hold a job. im not sure if it will meet their criteria but i’ll keep applying until something changes…. > Crazy Lou > http://www.grizzadam.com/ > Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ > Before you buy.

– —————————— ‘the softest of all soft things overrides the hardest of things….’ — i ching "blessed am i to dwell in this beautiful temple" ~~~~~~~~~ rainbows ~~~~~~~~~~

Response:

actually michelle its kinda weird that you shoud mention the income thing. i used to sell artwork and paintings that i made. i plan to go back to that as soon as im ‘able’ which at this rate could be never )  but ****actually****…. this feb 7th i actually have a court date to argue my case for ssi…. i first applied over a year ago… theyve denied me twice so now i have to go to court about it. im kinda nervous… they just sent me all the papers, and ive read them through. its pretty interesting to see your ‘case’ laid out in such a clinical way like that. i was laughing at what the different people said about me. at any rate. im pondering how to approach it. im hoping to be able to convince them what a thin thin thread im actually hanging by right now… its hard for people to appreciate if theyve never really been there….. plus, when you have made a life out of *pretending* to be functional when you are damn well not, sometimes that little ‘act’ is a downside. thanks, and im interested in ANY advice…. ) like i said, the court date is feb 7th. i have until next wendesday to gather up and mail in some forms and any extra evidence i can get to prove that im actually a lot less functional than it might seem. they say that i am too intelligent and have enough education that i can still perform some jobs. but i think thats just not true.. i still am kinda smart… they listed my iq as 115……. that really hurt…. it used to be a whole lot higher than that :-}} but, the main thing is my nerves are shot… ive been in treatment now for two years, and made as much progress as has been humanly possible for me.. and still…. i have been in jail, i have wrecked the house, assaulted people, had unpredictable spells of crippling nausea and vomiting just from being too stressed out…. cant even drive my daughter to school… cant even make one freaking appointment a week….. i have late notices every month becuase i cant check the mail.. i cant pay bills… i dont even answer the telephone lots of times, just becuase, im at overload. i cant take anymore. i just cant do it. i am at max level. i just cant take *any* stress. i am totally subject to unpredictable mental changes and states, that totally disable me from doing anything but lying in bed…. i am prone to attacking people unpredictably…. i cannot trust myself in any way shape or form to be able to keep even the simplest of commitments. i am hoping that i can gather evidence of that. i hope that letters and papers will prove to be enough. comments?? questions?? anna — —————————— ‘the softest of all soft things overrides the hardest of things….’ — i ching "blessed am i to dwell in this beautiful temple" ~~~~~~~~~ rainbows ~~~~~~~~~~

Response:

In article <3880F435.67A42…@efn.org>,   a…@efn.org wrote: >  am at max level. i just cant take *any* stress. i am totally subject to unpredictable mental

 changes and states, that totally disable me from doing anything but lying in bed…. i am  prone to attacking people unpredictably…. i cannot trust myself in any way shape or form  to be able to keep even the simplest of commitments.  i am hoping that i can gather evidence of that. i hope that letters and papers will prove to  be enough.  comments?? questions??  anna —————————– > ‘the softest of all soft things > overrides the hardest of things….’ > — i ching > "blessed am i to dwell in this beautiful temple" > ~~~~~~~~~ rainbows ~~~~~~~~~~

– I had to completely flip out before all of those dummies got the word that I was a walking time bomb and a Heckle and Jive personality—piss on it—Mr.Hyde and the other dude. I went the SSI route that took a year to go nowhere but in circles, they pump you up in the beginning telling you how much you will get and then proceed to start chopping you down and put you in a hopeless situation to make things worse than before in having to fight for every inch, I ended up getting arrested after freaking out in the office, seeing all these drug dealers and alcoholics getting paid for their habits while I was squeeky clean with genuine head problems and a desperate war vet. Persistance is the key here, but very hard to keep your cool under stress and being jerked around by people with an attitude who seem to get some sick pleasure in playing God when they know you are between a rock and a hard place and they have the power to make or break, but I was just too proud to put up with that shit and lost it. When I moved to this area I could not find work and living on a two digit income, things almost came through once but just when I was going to be paid for school and getting some OJT, that is when the Government went broke and all the bleeping help centers were shut down, same day when I was gettting caught up on the shot record, given physicals and ready to go to work, then Clinton got a wild hair in his ass to shut the Gov. down, almost turned me into a militant revolutionary. I applied for SSI again here in this area, once again pumping me up saying I would be getting over $1000 mo. filling out endless forms and family relating how unstable I was etc. etc. then getting a letter saying that things were declined, so after an appeal I was sent to a shrink for evaluation, but as soon as I stuck my head in the door all I could hear was people talking Vietnamese lingo, everyone Vietnamese in that place and I just went nuts, head was back in the jungle and to me they were all "Charlie" and when the shrink came out to take me by the arm to go into a room (I thought it was to be interrogated) I threw down on the guy and made my escape, also got arrested again but was just taken home by a cop who was also a Nam vet and knew exactly what was going on. They declined the SSI again in spite of that violent episode, so I filed a claim with the Veteran’s Administration again and met with the same attitude like we are the enemy or something, so I went to congress with all of the medical records and war records and police reports and they went to bat for me, not all will do this, but I had stacks of records that proved I was a head case and then the VA shrink who was a neat guy looked further into things and saw where I was experimented on with behavior drugs and filed his own complaints about it and was awarded $45,000 plus $950 for the rest of my life unless I flip out again, but am evaluated at 70% disabled. It is a hard way to go, but I did learn that if you are declared to be unemployable this will qualify you as 100% disabled, but you can not allow people to dictate which way your life goes or let the state lead you around by the nose and determine the quality of life they say you must accept, since they flat out don’t give a shit if you live or die when it comes down to where the rubber meets the road at the level of politics and bureaucrats, all is dog eat dog at that level when you are just a number, there are caring people but most of these are not the ones calling the shots. Crazy Lou http://www.grizzadam.com/ Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.

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