Question:
The argument isn’t about symptoms or how one "caught" PTSD. The responses come from people in various stages of healing and recovery and if I find them harsh, I simply reflect that "I’m not there yet, and examine exactly where I am. Of course I consider the sender. Tiny, you’ve been here along time. Personally I find it very offense that the "oldtimers" are constantly brought up. It’s offense to the people who are here and want to be supportive. You seem to be stuck on the ng of the past which was exclusive and hurtful to many, and oh so repititious! The last thing I want to do is hurt but of all the people who post here Tiny, Why are you so stuck? Other’s intermingle their struggles with the challenges of moving on. We’ve got hosta’s and yardwork, college classes, raising kid’s, travelling, relationships, etc. What are your outlets? What are your goals? I think I’d like to ask L.L. the same. Anyone who is obviously in so much pain must have some diversion strategies, put the PTSD on the back burner. I think for some the back burner simmers, and for others they can set it there for longer periods of time, untouched. Damn, I’ve been there. The goal was for the day and worked from there. Many times set back to laying in bed with the covers over my head. Somewhere along the way I learned that running from my problems isn’t the same as throwing up some healthy diversions. The underlying stuff is always going to be there. The challenge is ours and ours alone. No therapy or ng is going to change that.
Response:
>I’m appalled, to be perfectly honest. I am outraged. I am incensed. How >DARE any of you denigrate the feelings of others in this NG because their >symptoms are ‘different’ than yours!
i think it would help me to understand what you are talking about if you could provide some example of this as i am just not seeing it.
Response:
Hi Lea, >I’m appalled, to be perfectly honest. I am outraged. I am incensed. How >>DARE any of you denigrate the feelings of others in this NG because their >>symptoms are ‘different’ than yours! >i think it would help me to understand what you are talking about if you >could >provide some example of this as i am just not seeing it.
Yep, me either, I am not sure what this comment is about.
Response:
>You seem to be stuck on the ng of the past which was >exclusive and hurtful to many, and oh so repititious!
true it could be. i’m an "oldtimer". i’ve been on this group for almost 7 years. the grooup wasn’t any different than what we have today. looking back and longing for the "old group" pretty much puts you at a dead end with this group. this isn’t the "old group" but it doesn’t make it any less valuable or any less useful. it just makes you miss the richness and opportunities that this group offers. i hate change. i used to try to hold everything in my life exactly the same so that i knew it. no matter how crazy things got, i had my routine and it was always the same. that is what got me through hard times. it also kept me firmly anchored in the past. it’s like looking back and wondering what kind of a person i would be if i hadn’t been abused. it doesn’t matter because i was and looking back and focusing all my energy on that just kept me stuck. i had to grieve for what i lost yes but sooner or later i had to move on and recognize the value of who i was today (still working on that one) and the strengths i had.
Response:
It has been brought to my attention that the majority of this NG’s participants do not look kindly upon others whose symptoms are ‘different’ than the norm. I’ve been asked to not leave this NG by a few members. I don’t intend on leaving. Instead, I intend to remain and fight for the rights of all PTSD sufferers, regardless of their symptoms or root causes. Sure, every one of us with PTSD suffer its symptoms to a different degree; that’s as it should be. None of us are identical in the manner in which we approach trauma, so why should we be the same in our degree of reaction to such trauma? The answer is that we cannot be the same, regardless what anyone, professional or neophyte, may believe. I’m appalled, to be perfectly honest. I am outraged. I am incensed. How DARE any of you denigrate the feelings of others in this NG because their symptoms are ‘different’ than yours! We each suffer trauma based upon who we are and how we have been raised to that point. No two of us will suffer the same trauma in the exact same manner. Guaranteed. Does that give anyone the right to point a finger at someone who experiences their trauma differently than the majority? Of course not. Think about it, people. The fact that we ARE unique makes every one of us react differently to the same stimuli. What’s the problem with that? Our primary purpose with this NG is to "SUPPORT" others with similar experiences, no matter how those experiences came to be. Is that such a hard thing to do? I would hope not. I joined this NG in the hope of being able to further expand my available resources for delving into the depths of my PTSD with a view to eventually conquering or at least ‘mastering’ it so that I could once more live a ‘normal’ life. It now appears that I might have made a serious mistake in trusting myself to this NG if its primary function is no longer the ’support’ of those with PTSD, but to denigrate those wtith ‘differing’ versions of this mental disease. I pray that I’m wrong. I want to get help and I would like to be able to help others along the way. But I cannot waste my precious time on people who do not fully support my efforts at self-correction, regardless the reason. It then becomes a total waste of my energy & time, which just drags me further into the depths of my depression. Harsh? Yes. Wrong? No. Unless there’s ‘real support’ here, I’m just wasting my time. Wes…
Response:
Hi Wes, > It has been brought to my attention that the majority of this NG’s >participants do not look kindly upon others whose symptoms are ‘different’ >than the norm.
I have read over several posts and I am not sure what you are referring to here. As long as I have been posting here all I have found has been support and encouragement. Of course, there have been times when some one has shared their opinion or shared their experience and it differed from mine, but so far as I know, they didn’t "look kindly upon me because my symptons were different from the norm." >Our primary purpose with this NG is to >"SUPPORT" others with similar experiences, no matter how those experiences >came to be. Is that such a hard thing to do? I would hope not.
I have always thought that is what we were doing here, supporting others, or, if the case warrants, we share our personal view of the situation. >I joined this NG in the hope of being able to further expand my >available resources for delving into the depths of my PTSD with a view to >eventually conquering or at least ‘mastering’ it so that I could once more >live a ‘normal’ life.
I have had many helpful ideas and advice from others when I had a problem and threw it out for advice. Sorry you don’t feel the same way. However, I had to learn from my therapist how to "master" PTSD. My therapist was the one who helped me with the more serious aspects of this disorder. I wish you well, Jeannie
Response:
In article <uqf5b1liegi…@corp.supernews.com>, "Wesley C. Martin" <wcmar…@sirinet.net> wrote: > Instead, I intend to remain and fight for the > rights of all PTSD sufferers, regardless of their symptoms or root causes.
… > I’m appalled, to be perfectly honest. I am outraged. I am incensed. How > DARE any of you denigrate the feelings of others in this NG because their > symptoms are ‘different’ than yours! > Wes…
Are you saying that you are going to fight *us*? I hope not, but that is what it sounds like. I have had enough violence in RL thanks very much. I dont intend to even be a bystander for violence in this group of one person against anyone else. If this group doesnt suit you, you can try to make it better if you’d like. I dont seriously think you can damage it. If someone’s idea of the purpose of the newsgroup and how best that individual can serve that purpose doesnt match yours, that doesnt make it wrong. I havent seen anyone on this group ask you to leave. I havent seen anyone denigrate the feelings of anyone else. I have seen a lot of people validate the feelings of others who come in confused and questioning. And any time you really want to be "perfectly honest", I’ll be happy to listen. Your emotional outbursts do not impress me. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. To be perfectly honest myself, I really consider these angry tones and personal attacks to be really out of place in a PTSD group. So I would ask you, if you stay, to tone it down about 30 notches. If anyone is offended by my opinions, please ignore them or correct me properly. Best, Marie
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