Question:
You know, folks, I think ASAP is one of the NICEST (if not *THE* nicest) newsgroups on the Net. Really. I mean, look at those wonderful cross-posts received from some of the other groups in that Weird Stephanie Troll stuff where such <gasp FOUL LANGUAGE is used so widely! HORRORS! But given that I have lurked in some of those groups, at least ASD and the PTSD one, I sometimes feel that what I REALLY feel like saying would better be said in another support forum, as I’ve got some NOT so nice things on my mind right now. Nonetheless, ASAP feels like my *home newsgroup,* and although I’m attempting (unsuccessfully) to remain in lurk mode, I am writing just because – YUP – we *all* need to vent from time to time. I’m feeling pissed off – er, I mean, angry that I’m re-experiencing some patterns of depression that I have not experienced in a while. It’s nothing THAT bad – I mean, not compared to how bad I know I can really get with the depression/anxiety thingy. But the *patterns* and CERTAIN feelings have crept back into my life, and I don’t like that. Messing with my meds is not a good idea. That’s what I did – AGAIN. I was feeling so great feeling like my More Real Self, and found that I was *not remembering* to take my Zoloft DAILY, and at the dosage that I had found that worked best for me. It was all too easy for me to let a day go by without taking it – and then that day turned into four days, and then I’d take only 100mg, probably thinking I didn’t *need* more than that and was *economizing.* <sheesh So, suffice it to say, I am *back* to being a good pill taker, and taking my Zoloft, 150mgs once a day (and I may consider going up to 200mg, possibly), and noticing how I have INCREASED my use of Xanax. And true confessions: I’m not using my Xanax *properly.* I know I’m not. I’m experiencing *patterns of depression as exhibited in behaviour,* and, regrettably, I know these *patterns* well. But I am taking more Xanax than what I had been able to reduce down to, mostly in the hopes of feeling not so depressed, and yet I already KNOW Xanax does NOT work that way for me. I’m still not exceeding what my doc and I have decided is what my daily dose *target* to be – 4mgs a day – but I was so happy to be down to taking 1 or 2mg a day. :::WHINE WHINE WHINE::: I feel better now, having gone *on record.* 
Best Wishes to Us All — Blue (one who will NOT be feeling shitty for long — DAMMIT! How’d I slip up like that?…;))
Response:
Hi Blue, I read your post just after submitting one of my own and boy can I relate to you. About messing with the meds I mean, and falling off the feeling better wagon and the determination not to let it last too long. I wish I knew more about the meds but I just wanted to offer you some support and to say you are in the right place for a perfectly good whine 
. I agree with you about this being a great support ng. I have a feeling you will be feeling better and on an even keel real soon. I just wanted to let you know I think I know how you feel–as do many of us here! And to say I love your sense of humor. little bear – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – You know, folks, I think ASAP is one of the NICEST (if not *THE* nicest) newsgroups on the Net. Really. I mean, look at those wonderful cross-posts received from some of the other groups in that Weird Stephanie Troll stuff where such <gasp FOUL LANGUAGE is used so widely! HORRORS! But given that I have lurked in some of those groups, at least ASD and the PTSD one, I sometimes feel that what I REALLY feel like saying would better be said in another support forum, as I’ve got some NOT so nice things on my mind right now. Nonetheless, ASAP feels like my *home newsgroup,* and although I’m attempting (unsuccessfully) to remain in lurk mode, I am writing just because – YUP – we *all* need to vent from time to time. I’m feeling pissed off – er, I mean, angry that I’m re-experiencing some patterns of depression that I have not experienced in a while. It’s nothing THAT bad – I mean, not compared to how bad I know I can really get with the depression/anxiety thingy. But the *patterns* and CERTAIN feelings have crept back into my life, and I don’t like that. Messing with my meds is not a good idea. That’s what I did – AGAIN. I was feeling so great feeling like my More Real Self, and found that I was *not remembering* to take my Zoloft DAILY, and at the dosage that I had found that worked best for me. It was all too easy for me to let a day go by without taking it – and then that day turned into four days, and then I’d take only 100mg, probably thinking I didn’t *need* more than that and was *economizing.* <sheesh So, suffice it to say, I am *back* to being a good pill taker, and taking my Zoloft, 150mgs once a day (and I may consider going up to 200mg, possibly), and noticing how I have INCREASED my use of Xanax. And true confessions: I’m not using my Xanax *properly.* I know I’m not. I’m experiencing *patterns of depression as exhibited in behaviour,* and, regrettably, I know these *patterns* well. But I am taking more Xanax than what I had been able to reduce down to, mostly in the hopes of feeling not so depressed, and yet I already KNOW Xanax does NOT work that way for me. I’m still not exceeding what my doc and I have decided is what my daily dose *target* to be – 4mgs a day – but I was so happy to be down to taking 1 or 2mg a day. :::WHINE WHINE WHINE::: I feel better now, having gone *on record.* Best Wishes to Us All — Blue (one who will NOT be feeling shitty for long — DAMMIT! How’d I slip up like that?…;))
Response:
Hi Blue….. I hope you will not kick yourself for too long. You are back on program now and should be feeling better soon. And you can vent here anytime! take good care of you, Renee
Response:
Well Blue you have confirmed my suspicions, I had a feeling you were not taking your meds. But you know where you slipped up and you know how to correct it. And who better to whine to, then your "family". Now come here and get a big ((hug)) and (bend down I’m short) a nuggie. Cathy hurt me more then it hurt you. :) P.H.O.B.I.A. People Helping Others Become Independent Again Off-line Panic/Anxiety Support Group Learn about us at http://community.nj.com/cc/phobia – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – You know, folks, I think ASAP is one of the NICEST (if not *THE* nicest) newsgroups on the Net. Really. I mean, look at those wonderful cross-posts received from some of the other groups in that Weird Stephanie Troll stuff where such <gasp FOUL LANGUAGE is used so widely! HORRORS! But given that I have lurked in some of those groups, at least ASD and the PTSD one, I sometimes feel that what I REALLY feel like saying would better be said in another support forum, as I’ve got some NOT so nice things on my mind right now. Nonetheless, ASAP feels like my *home newsgroup,* and although I’m attempting (unsuccessfully) to remain in lurk mode, I am writing just because – YUP – we *all* need to vent from time to time. I’m feeling pissed off – er, I mean, angry that I’m re-experiencing some patterns of depression that I have not experienced in a while. It’s nothing THAT bad – I mean, not compared to how bad I know I can really get with the depression/anxiety thingy. But the *patterns* and CERTAIN feelings have crept back into my life, and I don’t like that. Messing with my meds is not a good idea. That’s what I did – AGAIN. I was feeling so great feeling like my More Real Self, and found that I was *not remembering* to take my Zoloft DAILY, and at the dosage that I had found that worked best for me. It was all too easy for me to let a day go by without taking it – and then that day turned into four days, and then I’d take only 100mg, probably thinking I didn’t *need* more than that and was *economizing.* <sheesh So, suffice it to say, I am *back* to being a good pill taker, and taking my Zoloft, 150mgs once a day (and I may consider going up to 200mg, possibly), and noticing how I have INCREASED my use of Xanax. And true confessions: I’m not using my Xanax *properly.* I know I’m not. I’m experiencing *patterns of depression as exhibited in behaviour,* and, regrettably, I know these *patterns* well. But I am taking more Xanax than what I had been able to reduce down to, mostly in the hopes of feeling not so depressed, and yet I already KNOW Xanax does NOT work that way for me. I’m still not exceeding what my doc and I have decided is what my daily dose *target* to be – 4mgs a day – but I was so happy to be down to taking 1 or 2mg a day. :::WHINE WHINE WHINE::: I feel better now, having gone *on record.* Best Wishes to Us All — Blue (one who will NOT be feeling shitty for long — DAMMIT! How’d I slip up like that?…;))
Response:
::::snipped:::: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -More Real Self, and found that I was *not remembering* to take my Zoloft DAILY, and at the dosage that I had found that worked best for me. It was all too easy for me to let a day go by without taking it – and then that day turned into four days, and then I’d take only 100mg, probably thinking I didn’t *need* more than that and was *economizing.* <sheesh So, suffice it to say, I am *back* to being a good pill taker, and taking my Zoloft, 150mgs once a day (and I may consider going up to 200mg, possibly), and noticing how I have INCREASED my use of Xanax. And true confessions: I’m not using my Xanax *properly.* I know I’m not. I’m experiencing *patterns of depression as exhibited in behaviour,* and, regrettably, I know these *patterns* well. But I am taking more Xanax than what I had been able to reduce down to, mostly in the hopes of feeling not so depressed, and yet I already KNOW Xanax does NOT work that way for me. I’m still not exceeding what my doc and I have decided is what my daily dose *target* to be – 4mgs a day – but I was so happy to be down to taking 1 or 2mg a day.
Hey Blue, Just for you, I will start posting a daily reminder at ASAP, for you to take your meds<BEG. I am glad to see you back posting at ASAP, stick around.Take care. Jackie "Hello, mystery," I whispered. "Hello, adventure." "Where shall we go from here" I said, full of the power of us. "How shall we change the world?"
Response:
Well Blue you have confirmed my suspicions, I had a feeling you were not taking your meds. But you know where you slipped up and you know how to correct it. And who better to whine to, then your "family". Now come here and get a big ((hug)) and (bend down I’m short) a nuggie. Cathy hurt me more then it hurt you. :)
Or, as Steve Martin said (in his first performance on Saturday Night Live which brought him instant fame) in his role of the medieval *doctor* Theodoric, Barber of York: "A little pain never hurt anyone!" Philip – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – P.H.O.B.I.A. People Helping Others Become Independent Again Off-line Panic/Anxiety Support Group Learn about us at http://community.nj.com/cc/phobia You know, folks, I think ASAP is one of the NICEST (if not *THE* nicest) newsgroups on the Net. Really. I mean, look at those wonderful cross-posts received from some of the other groups in that Weird Stephanie Troll stuff where such <gasp FOUL LANGUAGE is used so widely! HORRORS! But given that I have lurked in some of those groups, at least ASD and the PTSD one, I sometimes feel that what I REALLY feel like saying would better be said in another support forum, as I’ve got some NOT so nice things on my mind right now. Nonetheless, ASAP feels like my *home newsgroup,* and although I’m attempting (unsuccessfully) to remain in lurk mode, I am writing just because – YUP – we *all* need to vent from time to time. I’m feeling pissed off – er, I mean, angry that I’m re-experiencing some patterns of depression that I have not experienced in a while. It’s nothing THAT bad – I mean, not compared to how bad I know I can really get with the depression/anxiety thingy. But the *patterns* and CERTAIN feelings have crept back into my life, and I don’t like that. Messing with my meds is not a good idea. That’s what I did – AGAIN. I was feeling so great feeling like my More Real Self, and found that I was *not remembering* to take my Zoloft DAILY, and at the dosage that I had found that worked best for me. It was all too easy for me to let a day go by without taking it – and then that day turned into four days, and then I’d take only 100mg, probably thinking I didn’t *need* more than that and was *economizing.* <sheesh So, suffice it to say, I am *back* to being a good pill taker, and taking my Zoloft, 150mgs once a day (and I may consider going up to 200mg, possibly), and noticing how I have INCREASED my use of Xanax. And true confessions: I’m not using my Xanax *properly.* I know I’m not. I’m experiencing *patterns of depression as exhibited in behaviour,* and, regrettably, I know these *patterns* well. But I am taking more Xanax than what I had been able to reduce down to, mostly in the hopes of feeling not so depressed, and yet I already KNOW Xanax does NOT work that way for me. I’m still not exceeding what my doc and I have decided is what my daily dose *target* to be – 4mgs a day – but I was so happy to be down to taking 1 or 2mg a day. :::WHINE WHINE WHINE::: I feel better now, having gone *on record.* Best Wishes to Us All — Blue (one who will NOT be feeling shitty for long — DAMMIT! How’d I slip up like that?…;))
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