Question:
Hello everyone, I have been a member of this newsgroup for many years, but haven’t posted in several years. I was reading some posts today and some of them were from Mark D. Morin, who appears to be some sort of therapist or something in the related field. His autosignature at the end of his message has a sexual joke that was a trigger for me. I emailed him and asked him to delete that sexual joke. While I was blunt, I was polite. We then exchanged seveal emails in which he ridiculed me, was insensitive, rude and uncaring. I wanted to warn people not to read his posts because it may be a trigger for others. Below is our email exchange, cleaned up for easy reading, but not changed. He hasn’t replied to the last one yet. Hopefully now he understands. Thanks everyone. Mr. Morin, your autosig is completely inappropriate for this newsgroup. Please remove it.
and if I don’t? I said: It appears that your autosig may have different sayings at different quotes at different times. Quotes that are jokes regarding the length of a man’s penis are inappropriate for a newsgroup who’s members have suffered the most severe forms of childhood sexual abuse imaginable. I’m sure you can understand this. Morin said: actually, I don’t understand. The quote in question came from a newscast. If you can’t tolerate things like that maybe it’s time to get off the net. I said: It doesn’t matter where it came from. You seem to show a lack of sensitivity to abuse survivors based on your response. Morin said: get over it I said: That’s what I’m trying to do…That’s why I’m on this newsgroup. Morin said: the "it" referred to the quote–Real Life is going to confront you with much worse. Which newsgroup? The original to which I replied was crossposted to at least a half dozen. I said: The newsgroup is alt.support.dissociation. Mark, life CAN’T confront me with anything worse than what I’ve been through already.
Response:
hi Jack, welcome to asd! I was reading some posts today and some of them were from Mark D. Morin, who appears to be some sort of therapist or something in the related field.
or something…i like that. 
i’m very sorry that you had to deal with the insensitivities of one who ought to have the sense (or at least the common decency) to hear that his actions are causing pain, and not to add to them. we appreciate and admire your courage in standing up to him, to take care of yourself, and in coming forward to share with us, so those of us who might be triggered can avoid that hurt, too. diane, of Ravensong "What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset." – Crowfoot
Response:
thanks diane…jack – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – hi Jack, welcome to asd! I was reading some posts today and some of them were from Mark D. Morin, who appears to be some sort of therapist or something in the related field. or something…i like that. i’m very sorry that you had to deal with the insensitivities of one who ought to have the sense (or at least the common decency) to hear that his actions are causing pain, and not to add to them. we appreciate and admire your courage in standing up to him, to take care of yourself, and in coming forward to share with us, so those of us who might be triggered can avoid that hurt, too. diane, of Ravensong "What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset." – Crowfoot
Response:
:Hello everyone, : :I have been a member of this newsgroup for many years, but haven’t :posted in several years. I was reading some posts today and some of them :were from Mark D. Morin, who appears to be some sort of therapist or :something in the related field. Mark has his PsyD and a lot of experience with neuro stuff. His autosignature at the end of his :message has a sexual joke that was a trigger for me. It is unfortunate that this happened. :I emailed him and asked him to delete that sexual joke. While I was :blunt, I was polite. The word "rude" comes to mind. We then exchanged seveal emails in which he :ridiculed me, was insensitive, rude and uncaring. Mark was? :I wanted to warn people not to read his posts because it may be a :trigger for others. : :Below is our email exchange, cleaned up for easy reading, but not :changed. : :He hasn’t replied to the last one yet. Hopefully now he understands. : :Thanks everyone. : :
: : Mr. Morin, : : your autosig is completely inappropriate for this newsgroup. Please : remove it. : :and if I don’t? : :I said: : :It appears that your autosig may have different sayings at different :quotes at different times. Quotes that are jokes regarding the length of :a man’s penis are inappropriate for a newsgroup who’s members have :suffered the most severe forms of childhood sexual abuse imaginable. : :I’m sure you can understand this. :Morin said: : :actually, I don’t understand. : :The quote in question came from a newscast. If you can’t tolerate things :like that maybe it’s time to get off the net. :I said: : :It doesn’t matter where it came from. You seem to show a lack of :sensitivity to abuse survivors based on your response. Oh, brother. : :Morin said: : :get over it :I said: : :That’s what I’m trying to do…That’s why I’m on this newsgroup. :Morin said: : : :the "it" referred to the quote–Real Life is going to :confront you with much worse. : :Which newsgroup? The original to which I replied was :crossposted to at least a half dozen. :I said: : :The newsgroup is alt.support.dissociation. : :Mark, life CAN’T confront me with anything worse than what I’ve been :through already. "J*ck", maybe you could have been more understanding yourself. Also, would you mind changing your name? It triggers me. Do you understand, or do I have to explain it to you? Kali
Response:
"J*ck", maybe you could have been more understanding yourself. Also, would you mind changing your name? It triggers me. Do you understand, or do I have to explain it to you?
i’m curious…is this an actual request, or are you just trying to make a point? i honestly would like to know…i heard tone in the words, but i didn’t know if that was just because you were annoyed at his post, or something else. diane "What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset." – Crowfoot
Response:
Hello jack, I just wanted to let you know that a person doesn’t have to have a dissociative disorder nor be a survivor to post here. Just thought I’d share that in case your Q’s had something to do with membership rights or anything like that. Sierra of TN – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Have you been on this group long? Are you a survivor? Do you have a dissociative disorder?
Response:
Yeah, Ya know what, I feel rather triggered every time I see survivors being uncaring and mean spirited towards one another! Sorry you had to deal with the rudeness of that person’s cold uncaring response to your simple request to get rid of a sig line that you found offensive, Jack. You had every right to voice your opinions and feelings regarding someone using a sig line with a s*xual joke in it. I have not seen this post but based on what you said, my guess would be that it at the very least requires a spoiler. Something like: person lacking any sense, judgement or scruples posting below!!!! Please don’t let things like this scare you away Jack. Peace, love, strength and hope to ya mags
Response:
I blew it, I forgot to change the title of the thread in my last post. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello jack, I just wanted to let you know that a person doesn’t have to have a dissociative disorder nor be a survivor to post here. Just thought I’d share that in case your Q’s had something to do with membership rights or anything like that. Sierra of TN Have you been on this group long? Are you a survivor? Do you have a dissociative disorder?
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Yeah, Ya know what, I feel rather triggered every time I see survivors being uncaring and mean spirited towards one another! Sorry you had to deal with the rudeness of that person’s cold uncaring response to your simple request to get rid of a sig line that you found offensive, Jack. You had every right to voice your opinions and feelings regarding someone using a sig line with a s*xual joke in it. I have not seen this post but based on what you said, my guess would be that it at the very least requires a spoiler. Something like: person lacking any sense, judgement or scruples posting below!!!! Please don’t let things like this scare you away Jack. Peace, love, strength and hope to ya mags
thanks…I’m tired now. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. jack
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – says… Ok, lets let this thread drop. Apparently, although I’ve never noticed his (or kali’s) postings, they both have some previous similar history. I did a google search on each and it turned up more and more of the same. I have absolutely no idea if you’re alluding to something in the above. It certainly feels like it to me. Jack, ppl post in different fora for varied reasons all of the time. I belong to over 30 private listsrvs, most of which are technical. This is one of the few public forums in which I have lately been participating. And to tell you the truth, this post is an example of the very reason I tend not to participate in public fora. Regardless of intent or not, it feels too much like someone watching over another’s shoulder ready to point a finger and say, "look what they said, they’re bad," and I do not like it one bit. While I understand and respect your right to your issue wrt Dr. Morin, and in fact, respect your choice to disagree with Kali and/or her delivery, I have a serious problem with the insinuations in this post.
yeah, it wasn’t nice. I was mad. sorry.
Response:
Hello jack, I just wanted to let you know that a person doesn’t have to have a dissociative disorder nor be a survivor to post here. Just thought I’d share that in case your Q’s had something to do with membership rights or anything like that. Sierra of TN Have you been on this group long? Are you a survivor? Do you have a dissociative disorder?
thanks Sierra. I do know that. but nobody wants to talk about this anymore. bye.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello jack, I just wanted to let you know that a person doesn’t have to have a dissociative disorder nor be a survivor to post here. Just thought I’d share that in case your Q’s had something to do with membership rights or anything like that. Sierra of TN Have you been on this group long? Are you a survivor? Do you have a dissociative disorder? thanks Sierra.
Yer welcome. I do know that.
I wasn’t sure if you knew since you’re a fairly new poster and the title of the group can be deceiving imo. but nobody wants to talk about this anymore. bye.
Tis ok, I wasn’t wanting to talk just mention the above in case you didn’t know. Sierra of TN
Response:
:"J*ck", maybe you could have been more understanding yourself. :Also, would you mind changing your name? It triggers me. Do you :understand, or do I have to explain it to you? : :i’m curious…is this an actual request, or are you just trying to make a :point? i honestly would like to know…i heard tone in the words, but i didn’t :know if that was just because you were annoyed at his post, or something else. Trying to make a point. Kali
Response:
:Yeah, Ya know what, I feel rather triggered every time I see survivors :being uncaring and mean spirited towards one another! : :Sorry you had to deal with the rudeness of that person’s cold uncaring :response to your simple request to get rid of a sig line that you found 
ffensive, Jack. You had every right to voice your opinions and :feelings regarding someone using a sig line with a s*xual joke in it. I :have not seen this post but based on what you said, my guess would be :that it at the very least requires a spoiler. : :Something like: person lacking any sense, judgement or scruples posting :below!!!! : 
lease don’t let things like this scare you away Jack. Perhaps instead of saying "don’t read so-and-so’s post", the rule would be "don’t read stuff that’s cross-posted to six groups." I objected to "J*ck’s" tone toward Mark, and I voiced my opinion. Kali
Response:
Warning: don’t read this post if you are triggered by inte*gration.
snip :Before I answer you question Kali, can you please answer three questions :for me? Have you been on this group long? Are you a survivor? Do you :have a dissociative disorder? Jack, yes, I’ve been reading here for years. I am a survivor, have a dissociative disorder (PTSD, recurring major depression, anxiety), have been in therapy making progress since ‘91. My focus now is on integration. Actually, I’ve been active on the net as a survivor and dissociative since ‘94, when I founded the first multiple’s chat on Prodigy. Later as I moved to the wide net I was an officer and web master at Transformations.com and got their multiple’s support groups started. I had heard of asd, and started reading in ‘97 or so, but have never been comfortable with sharing much personal information on Usenet, which I liken to Grand Central Station. For years I’ve been a regular at sci.psychology.psychotherapy and now serve as a moderator on the moderated group, along with Mark Morin. I also have opened a forum, www.couragetothink.com, which is devoted to exploring the current political issues around child abuse, memory, the fms, dissociative disorders, treatment issues, etc. It is designed to be a place where people of differing opinions can come together to discuss the issues, with an emphasis on scientific and forensic fact finding. I am a Senior at the U of Wisconsin and will graduate this year, after which time I will begin work on my doctorate in cognitive science. Some of the research I plan to do explores spatial and semantic aspects of narrative memory, for instance. So now you know a little bit about me. I know nothing about you, except that you said you haven’t been here in a long time, and then you were rude to a friend of mine over one of his dumb sig jokes, on a post that was cross-posted all over the net. Your suggestion was that ppl here should not read his posts, and that Mark was "insensitive." Perhaps a more apt, certainly a more helpful warning, might be that sensitive folks avoid cross-posted stuff. Cross-posting information appears in the reader way before any spoiler or splat. You were playing net.cop and out of my sarcasm came a suggestion to you that there are offensive things all over Usenet and perhaps if you are so easily offended, (which all of us are at times) you might find better support in a not-so-public place where there is moderation, specific rules, bounces, structured boundaries, etc. I’m feeling less irritated today and more verbose. HTH. Kym
Response:
Hi Kali, Thanks for your reply. I understand more about you now. I’m assuming you were being sarcastic about my name, since you used it without spoiling (or whatever the word is for the *). Yes, I may have been rude in my original post. One of the problems with the net is gauging the emotions of the writer. I didn’t mean to be rude…But I did mean to be blunt. I guess I was playing net.cop…However, I still feel the same about his autosig. Someone with his experience in psych, and his experience on the net and in newsgroups should be more careful with crossposts. With experience and secondary education comes more responsibility as well. Also, I still feel he was rude in his reply to me (even though I was). As a professional in the field, he has a higher standard to adhere to. Telling me "to get off the net" and to "get over it" and that he doesnt’ understand how this could be a trigger (I’m sure he understands, but was being sarcastic) are not appropriate things for a professional to say to anyone at any time. But especially to someone on this newsgroup considering what most peoples problems are. Anyway… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Warning: don’t read this post if you are triggered by inte*gration. snip :Before I answer you question Kali, can you please answer three questions :for me? Have you been on this group long? Are you a survivor? Do you :have a dissociative disorder? Jack, yes, I’ve been reading here for years. I am a survivor, have a dissociative disorder (PTSD, recurring major depression, anxiety), have been in therapy making progress since ‘91. My focus now is on integration. Actually, I’ve been active on the net as a survivor and dissociative since ‘94, when I founded the first multiple’s chat on Prodigy. Later as I moved to the wide net I was an officer and web master at Transformations.com and got their multiple’s support groups started. I had heard of asd, and started reading in ‘97 or so, but have never been comfortable with sharing much personal information on Usenet, which I liken to Grand Central Station. For years I’ve been a regular at sci.psychology.psychotherapy and now serve as a moderator on the moderated group, along with Mark Morin. I also have opened a forum, www.couragetothink.com, which is devoted to exploring the current political issues around child abuse, memory, the fms, dissociative disorders, treatment issues, etc. It is designed to be a place where people of differing opinions can come together to discuss the issues, with an emphasis on scientific and forensic fact finding. I am a Senior at the U of Wisconsin and will graduate this year, after which time I will begin work on my doctorate in cognitive science. Some of the research I plan to do explores spatial and semantic aspects of narrative memory, for instance. So now you know a little bit about me. I know nothing about you, except that you said you haven’t been here in a long time, and then you were rude to a friend of mine over one of his dumb sig jokes, on a post that was cross-posted all over the net. Your suggestion was that ppl here should not read his posts, and that Mark was "insensitive." Perhaps a more apt, certainly a more helpful warning, might be that sensitive folks avoid cross-posted stuff. Cross-posting information appears in the reader way before any spoiler or splat. You were playing net.cop and out of my sarcasm came a suggestion to you that there are offensive things all over Usenet and perhaps if you are so easily offended, (which all of us are at times) you might find better support in a not-so-public place where there is moderation, specific rules, bounces, structured boundaries, etc. I’m feeling less irritated today and more verbose. HTH. Kym
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