Question:
JP, I believe the book you are referring to is "Co-Dependent No More" . I forgot the authors name, but she has written several good books
Response:
>JP, I believe the book you are referring to is "Co-Dependent No More" . I >forgot the authors name, but she has written several good books
I think Her name is Melody Peatie Cassandra
Response:
James, >I did TFT with someone a couple weeks ago. It didn’t work. The therapist >asked me why I was resisting, this stuff works and since it wasn’t working >for me I was the problem. I’m going to try it again, but with another >therapist.
Forgive my ignorance here but what exactly is TFT? You mentioned a while back you were doing EMDR (I think?!) but I’ve not seen this acronym before. Thanks
Response:
Thought Field Therapy (TFT) is a relatively new approach to coping with PTSD. They have a Home Page at the following location: http://www.tftrx.com/ Jim
Response:
Hi Jim! > But I’m damn friggin sick and tired of these people laying their shit on > me when they’re approach doesn’t work with me, like there’s something > wrong with me and not their shit.
I’ve been discussing this one at length lately. 
My therapist suggests that for some reason I am willing to accept other people’s shit and carry it for them. Not just professionals, but ‘regular’ people too. Her suggestion included the fact that when I am in psychic pain, I get back aches from ’stress’, and that these back aches might, just might, be my body telling me that the load of others’ shit is just too much. Thus, she suggested that once others learn the ‘game’ of pass the shit works on me, they unconsciously play the game of pass the shit routinely. I’m trying to separate out my ‘terrific’ ability to accept others’ shit and learn to politely decline it. I’m not sure how … still, and I don’t know how long she has been telling me this and I’ve not heard it, either. Probably two or three years by now. Then, there’s the matter of politely declining. I want to learn to accept that others’ get to keep their own shit, and it doesn’t have to affect me. I’m not sure about that one either. If anyone has some hints, please post soon. My back is starting to hurt again. [now, who have I been talking to lately? probably my 16 yo son 
] Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
I guess it would help to explain some of my anger in the last post. I did TFT with someone a couple weeks ago. It didn’t work. The therapist asked me why I was resisting, this stuff works and since it wasn’t working for me I was the problem. I’m going to try it again, but with another therapist. I sat through a class Saturday on Psychotraumatology. The biological part was extremely interesting, it made a lot of sense. The lecturer is world renowned in PTSD, big time. But when he started talking on how PTSD should be treated, it was in conflict with much I have experienced. Who the hell am I to tell this expert, seriously, so once again I’m feeling like it’s me that’s screwed up. I’ve tried his way with one therapist for several years, and it didn’t help worth a damn. He’s into the cognitive treatment for PTSD. To top it off, maybe he was having a bad day or something else was bothering him, but he came across pretty cold hearted. A scientist’s approach to PTSD, with an attitude. In the past week I’ve discovered my Worker’s Comp battle is not over. It’s on hold while I’m in treatment. I’m going to get to go through the battery of crap I did before, their psych’s versus the lawyer’s psych’s versus my psych’s. Everybody’s own agenda, including mine. Last time I went through this I damn near called it quits on life. They retired me from this, but the wait is to see if it will be permanent or temporary. I’m venting because one of the biggest things I’ve learned about PTSD is the psychology world isn’t in agreement on how to treat it, that some psych’s treat it that have no business messing with it, some psych’s have their own personal agenda versus the patient’s best interests, and more than a few psychs have told me that the treatment I’m doing is wrong, to stop and move on with life, but others think it’s the right thing to do. I’ve made my decisions on which path to follow. Right or wrong, it seems best for me. I’m better now than I was even six months ago, though there are good moments, bad moments and inbetween moments. But the journey into my trauma isn’t finished, so it ebbs and flows based on the regular PTSD day in the life, but also with what I’m dealing with in therapy. Jim
Response:
My first diagnosis with PTSD was around June 1996. I’d been experiencing symptoms from it for around 3 years prior, and had been seeing a therapist at that point for 18 months. Since June 1996 I’ve learned a lot about PTSD. I’m excellent at "being in my head". I’ve read maybe a dozen books on it, probably over 60 or 70 articles on it, and looked at many many web pages about it. I’ve even attended a number of lectures on it. Adding to this is about 2 months in various hospitals in the past couple years, 6 weeks of which were trauma specific programs, and now over 3 years of therapy. Along this jouney, some of my symptoms have gotten worse, but some have gotten better. Many ebb and flow with a day in the life. I’ve had what for me have been the scariest friggin things I’ve ever felt, major panic attacks, several of which went violent, several of which I blacked out, most of which I thought death was immenent, and many of which I wanted to get my gun and face my fate. The symptoms of PTSD intrude in my life, and impact my wife and children, everyday. Some days are better than others, some times are better than others. Every once in awhile I even have what I would call a good day. I am very thankful for many things I have learned along this PTSD journey. But the bottom line for me is these symptoms and this PTSD really sucks big time, still. I take my meds as I should, including Paxil, Zoloft, Buspar, Atenolol, and Xanax, all of which I’ve been on long enough for them to have an impact. They seem to keep me just above water, as is what I understand to be their purpose. Along my journey I have done "therapy" and been examined by a number of medical doctors, licensed psychologists, MFCC’s, trauma "experts", and psychiatrists. The point of all this is that I’m frustrated and angry at the number of professionals in the medical and psychology fields who just don’t friggin get it when it comes to PTSD. I know there is much still to be learned, and that there is much still unknown. And I know no one is perfect. But I’m damn friggin sick and tired of these people laying their shit on me when they’re approach doesn’t work with me, like there’s something wrong with me and not their shit. And I’m damn tired of highly edumicated people who have done years of study on PTSD and understand it inside out scientifically, while not having a clue as to how it actually feels for us, for me, to go through this, and treat it like it’s a broken leg: "cast it and get on with your life". And I’m sick of what this has done to my relationship with my family, how I push them away when I’m in pain because I’m so scared of something happening to them like it has happened to so many other families I have witnessed it happen too. It just amazes me that many of these people can be called professionals and experts on trauma, and be viewed as such by their peers and courts. This world and this field have a long way to go. In the meantime there’s a whole bunch of people in a world of hurt sitting here waiting. Jim
Response:
Nancy, All my life I have been major league codependant. I didn’t even know what that meant until about 2 years ago. I’ve been excellent at taking on other peoples stuff, especially their pain. I’m not just compassionate, I feel their pain. When I was a cop, that was a pretty unhealthy thing to do. My marriage has revolved around my codependency, and my wifes too. What helped me at separating it all out was a group called Codependants Anonymous (CODA). It’s a 12 Step program. I didn’t work the steps, but 2 years of attending their meetings weekly really helped me realize what I was doing, and stop it. I’m not perfect at it, but there’s been a major change in my life because I’m now much better at focusing on myself and not other people’s stuff, and setting boundaries, and following through when they are crossed. CODA helped me immensely. CODA has a web site at: http://www.ourcoda.org/ There’s also a CODA E-mail support group at: http://www.golden.net/~soul/coda.html There’s also a couple really good books out on Codependency. I can’t recall the name of the one I read several years ago. Jim
If you like this post and would like to receive updates from this blog, please subscribe our feed.