Question:
I seem to be facing a delima around therapy. It seems that I go alot and spend the whole session talking about movie plots, books I have read, etc., and though much of the subject of my ramblings circle around the topic of DID, healing, the current state of mental health treatment, and such we really don’t talk directly about my big issues. The plus side of this tactic is that I have remained sort of stable, been able to hold down a job, and my therapist is supportive and respectful of my process. The down slide is that I never deal directly with the very issues that I need to to heal, knowing that to do this I would destableize and run the risk of losing my job and the ability to pay for the very therapy that keeps me going. Anyone else relate to this? Got any suggestions? ACESTAR
Response:
I seem to be facing a delima around therapy. It seems that I go alot and spend the whole session talking about movie plots, books I have read, etc., and though much of the subject of my ramblings circle around the topic of DID, healing, the current state of mental health treatment, and such we really don’t talk directly about my big issues.
Then your T may not be doing the job. Mine learned a long time ago that the more verbally accomplished the patient is, the easier it may be for them to avoid getting down to cases. And he calls me on it when I began yakking on tangents, and that’s a good thing. The plus side of this tactic is that I have remained sort of stable, been able to hold down a job, and my therapist is supportive and respectful of my process.
The two things may not be all that related. The down slide is that I never deal directly with the very issues that I need to to heal, knowing that to do this I would destableize
Why do you think you ”know” this? It’s not automatic. and run the risk of losing my job and the ability to pay for the very therapy that keeps me going. Anyone else relate to this? Got any suggestions?
Many peoiple find it useful to write donw some notes to one’self–a kind of agenda. Then you can initiate a discussion about ONE aspect of your concerns without diving into the entire daunting mess 8). ACESTAR
– Many a tear has to fall, but it’s all in the game.
Response:
My 2 cents worth. I think that what has already been said is all true to some extent, although it appears somewhat contradictory. (in the other 2 responses I’ve seen) I used to think that if any feeling came up, if there was any fear I wasn’t facing, then the thing to do was to face it etc etc. I’d spent so much time running away, so I’g learned that makes phobias worse. My current T has added a new dimension to my perspective on this and that is that I don’t need to alway push, always face every fear right now. That safety, and ability to function can count more. And as my friend said, also just respecting the feelings of my inner kids and adults is worthwhile in and of itself. So somewhere in all this stuff, there has to be a balance point, yes? Do enough, but not too much. And you are the main one who can know where that is. But talking about it is a good way to move towards that knowing. Maybe talking to your T, and see his perspective on it. Maybe test, can you push just a little and still function? If so a little more? If not a little less, etc etc. Constant course corrections is what I find, and shifting priorities, like I’ll probably cancel T today cause I have finals next week and need to maintain focus and not delve into anything more than what is there already, although she is really good about not pushing, in fact showing me as I’ve said that slowing down is sometimes very appropriate. Keep talking, keep trying, experimenting, just little steps and check the results etc. Maybe that’ll help. Best wishes, Todoe – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I seem to be facing a delima around therapy. It seems that I go alot and spend the whole session talking about movie plots, books I have read, etc., and though much of the subject of my ramblings circle around the topic of DID, healing, the current state of mental health treatment, and such we really don’t talk directly about my big issues. The plus side of this tactic is that I have remained sort of stable, been able to hold down a job, and my therapist is supportive and respectful of my process. The down slide is that I never deal directly with the very issues that I need to to heal, knowing that to do this I would destableize and run the risk of losing my job and the ability to pay for the very therapy that keeps me going. Anyone else relate to this? Got any suggestions? ACESTAR
– "May fortune favor the foolish." Captain James T. Kirk About to attempt time travel to retrieve 2 humpback whales from the past to save the world. ( "Voyage Home" Star Trek movie.) O.W.L. Productions — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:
Response:
Todoe, Thanks for the feedback on my Therapy delima. I think I do get impatient that things don’t progress faster. My therapist says that I ‘m dealing with alot of secondary ptsd, meaning that I have been traumatized alot by therapists throught the years and so I have alot of trust issues to deal with before I feel safe enough to do other work. I guess this is pretty common considering that many DIDs go through years of therapy before being correctly diagnosed, and because that therapy is usually for the wrong diagnosis, alot of damaging therapy can take place. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -My 2 cents worth. I think that what has already been said is all true to some extent, although it appears somewhat contradictory. (in the other 2 responses I’ve seen) I used to think that if any feeling came up, if there was any fear I wasn’t facing, then the thing to do was to face it etc etc. I’d spent so much time running away, so I’g learned that makes phobias worse. My current T has added a new dimension to my perspective on this and that is that I don’t need to alway push, always face every fear right now. That safety, and ability to function can count more. And as my friend said, also just respecting the feelings of my inner kids and adults is worthwhile in and of itself. So somewhere in all this stuff, there has to be a balance point, yes? Do enough, but not too much. And you are the main one who can know where that is. But talking about it is a good way to move towards that knowing. Maybe talking to your T, and see his perspective on it. Maybe test, can you push just a little and still function? If so a little more? If not a little less, etc etc. Constant course corrections is what I find, and shifting priorities, like I’ll probably cancel T today cause I have finals next week and need to maintain focus and not delve into anything more than what is there already, although she is really good about not pushing, in fact showing me as I’ve said that slowing down is sometimes very appropriate. Keep talking, keep trying, experimenting, just little steps and check the results etc. Maybe that’ll help. Best wishes, Todoe I seem to be facing a delima around therapy. It seems that I go alot and spend the whole session talking about movie plots, books I have read, etc., and though much of the subject of my ramblings circle around the topic of DID, healing, the current state of mental health treatment, and such we really don’t talk directly about my big issues. The plus side of this tactic is that I have remained sort of stable, been able to hold down a job, and my therapist is supportive and respectful of my process. The down slide is that I never deal directly with the very issues that I need to to heal, knowing that to do this I would destableize and run the risk of losing my job and the ability to pay for the very therapy that keeps me going. Anyone else relate to this? Got any suggestions? ACESTAR — "May fortune favor the foolish." Captain James T. Kirk
Response:
ACESTAR: You’re welcome. I saw my T yesterday and was telling her about your post and all. Before I finished the story she was saying how your T might have it very clearly in mind that you are doing as much as you can right now, and how it is hard to judge without knowing the whole story. Then I told her about about the trust issues being so pressing that was all you could deal with now, and we both chuckled, as I said, "Sounds kinda familiar." A while back, before knowing I was DID, I got what felt like very stuck for some time at exactly the same place you’re at. My T was very patient and told me how it was so understandable and reasonable given my experience that I feel the way I did about trust etc, and that was probably all we were going to be able to work on for some time, and it would probably be real slow. Just like your story ptsd, and secondary ptsd I guess and bad experiences with other T’s. I felt like t’py dunce or something, but it was very healing eventually to go through that phase, and come out with more trust and proceed to work on other stuff. It all came up cause she was telling about another mpd who works full time and so T doesn’t try to push her to do anything that will make that not possible (we were discussing confronting perps). So anyhow, judging by my own experience it does sound like you have your hands full at the moment. Allowing myself to be at that point and taking my time getting through it and trying to accept the feelings of various parts was a learning experience with regard to being patient. Still not my forte, in fact it totally goes against my grain. But I’m learning. Anyhow, take care and hang in there with the trust issues. Very, very important for me/us. Kind of like had T not been patient and gotten me to go easy at that point, so much that later happened that has been healing might not have. Best wishes, Todoe – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Todoe, Thanks for the feedback on my Therapy delima. I think I do get impatient that things don’t progress faster. My therapist says that I ‘m dealing with alot of secondary ptsd, meaning that I have been traumatized alot by therapists throught the years and so I have alot of trust issues to deal with before I feel safe enough to do other work. I guess this is pretty common considering that many DIDs go through years of therapy before being correctly diagnosed, and because that therapy is usually for the wrong diagnosis, alot of damaging therapy can take place. My 2 cents worth. I think that what has already been said is all true to some extent, although it appears somewhat contradictory. (in the other 2 responses I’ve seen) I used to think that if any feeling came up, if there was any fear I wasn’t facing, then the thing to do was to face it etc etc. I’d spent so much time running away, so I’g learned that makes phobias worse. My current T has added a new dimension to my perspective on this and that is that I don’t need to alway push, always face every fear right now. That safety, and ability to function can count more. And as my friend said, also just respecting the feelings of my inner kids and adults is worthwhile in and of itself. So somewhere in all this stuff, there has to be a balance point, yes? Do enough, but not too much. And you are the main one who can know where that is. But talking about it is a good way to move towards that knowing. Maybe talking to your T, and see his perspective on it. Maybe test, can you push just a little and still function? If so a little more? If not a little less, etc etc. Constant course corrections is what I find, and shifting priorities, like I’ll probably cancel T today cause I have finals next week and need to maintain focus and not delve into anything more than what is there already, although she is really good about not pushing, in fact showing me as I’ve said that slowing down is sometimes very appropriate. Keep talking, keep trying, experimenting, just little steps and check the results etc. Maybe that’ll help. Best wishes, Todoe I seem to be facing a delima around therapy. It seems that I go alot and spend the whole session talking about movie plots, books I have read, etc., and though much of the subject of my ramblings circle around the topic of DID, healing, the current state of mental health treatment, and such we really don’t talk directly about my big issues. The plus side of this tactic is that I have remained sort of stable, been able to hold down a job, and my therapist is supportive and respectful of my process. The down slide is that I never deal directly with the very issues that I need to to heal, knowing that to do this I would destableize and run the risk of losing my job and the ability to pay for the very therapy that keeps me going. Anyone else relate to this? Got any suggestions? ACESTAR — "May fortune favor the foolish." Captain James T. Kirk
– "May fortune favor the foolish." Captain James T. Kirk About to attempt time travel to retrieve 2 humpback whales from the past to save the world. ( "Voyage Home" Star Trek movie.) O.W.L. Productions — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:
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