Question:
hello all… i am trying to do this in the most respectful manner possible, so please forgive me if i accidently do something wrong (it wouldn’t be the first time!) this post concerns pregnancy and birth so if you have issues with that please skip it. i also have not "splatted" anything (is that the word?` when you stick those little * things in the middle of things?), as i just did not know what the "rules" were and i could not find a FAQ. thanks for your understanding…be good to yourselves… i am a senior at the University of California, Santa Cruz, and i am currently writing my thesis (or trying to 
those of you who are students will understand). one part of the thesis is about how to provide quality maternity/prenatal care to women who are survivors of abuse, mainly sexual. i am looking for people who would be willing to write down any thoughts they had on that matter – during your pregnancy/birth, what was hard? what helped? what didn’t help? what would you have wanted that you didn’t get? what did you like? etc. etc. i can keep all info totally confidential, and will not even quote you in the thesis if you don’t want; i would just like to get some first-hand knowledge, as i am sick of hearing about what "those people" need, from people who really don’t know what they’re talking about. i checked out a.s.a.r. – what’s up with that? guess it just didn’t hold up as a safe, supportive place. so if you would be willing to forward this message on to friends and acquaintances who might be interested, i would greatly appreciate it. be sure to let me know what level of confidentiality you need, whether i can reply to messages, etc. thank you so much for your help, take care, nikita
Response:
Just going to make a short reply. You can contact me via e-mail if you wish and I will answer more but don’t know if I can add much to your thesis. My pregnancy was 25 years ago. It went exceptionally well and I would not have wished for much more. However, after my daughter got here I was not a good mother. I kept dissociating all the time and could not stay in the world she lived in. I did not know at the time I was DID(MPD). I wish I’d had some help with how to live in the real world and how to interact with my child. I never had a childhood so it was pretty stressful for me to be supportive of someone who was trying to have one. There were times when I was so dissociated she was the one taking care of me. I couldn’t do much more than dissociate my way thru her childhood. It would have been too stressful on me to try to actually interact with her. When it comes to Medical procedures, I don’t like docs who are control freaks and who pat me on the head and tell me they know what’s best for me and will I just please be quiet and let them do what they have decided is right for me (without having tried to understand what I need or where I’m coming from). I also don’t like docs who ask me questions about my disorder as if I just stepped out of the freak show at the circus. My current G.P. is the best ever. She just talks to me as if we’re having a cup of coffee together and just discussing stuff. If she wants to know something she asks but she doesn’t make a big deal about anything. If I want to tell her something she doesn’t act like I’m wasting her time. Other things are like my dentist. (I’m having a "procedure" this week. He knows I have MPD(DID). He never once asked me if I had oral ab*se. Seems like a pertinent question to me. I would also like my docs to know that if I am ever confused about who I am and who they are and where I am and what time period this is that all they need to do is say something like, "It’s incredible how time goes so fast. I can hardly believe this is January 11, 1999 (or whatever date it is)" and I will quickly come around and get oriented to who I am and where I am and what’s going on. I don’t know if this is of any use to you but maybe it will help some. alc (Butterfly Puzzle System)
Response:
spoilered for talk of pr*gn*ncy, incidents that are disturbing and frank (& wordy) talk of my background issues. Useage of medical terms not splatted. (should they be?) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * i am looking for people who would be willing to write down any thoughts they had on that matter – during your pregnancy/birth, what was hard? what helped? what didn’t help? what would you have wanted that you didn’t get? what did you like? etc. etc. i can keep all info totally confidential, and will not even quote you in the thesis if you don’t want; i would just like to get some first-hand knowledge, as i am sick of hearing about what "those people" need, from people who really don’t know what they’re talking about.
nikita, I didn’t know which email address to use so I used both. I hope that won’t be a problem. I was just going to mention about asar but I guess I can speak about both questions. Asar was inundated with a lot of s*x spam (and other types) mainly due to the name of the newsgroup and the hierachy that put it on the list of many automated spam bots that send out that junk. We got fed up and finally got a moderated group (asarm) going. Asarm is a very nice supportive place too. (like this group is) There still are policy issues to be discussed and worked out and many of us right now aren’t up to that kind of heated discussion. But at least the s*x spam is gone. It seems pretty sparce right now over there for some reason. Many have left and went to other groups like aar or asdiss. Personally, I like this newsgroup and still post over in asarm too. I guess that kind of explains what is going on over there, huh? Somewhat. Butterfly Puzzle had it pretty much correct when she spoke of her pregnancy. I think she mentioned something about feeling like a poor mother. I want to say for her and myself and all others that maybe we did the best we could under the circumstances. Each has their own strengths and weaknesses of course, and their own issues to deal with. But yes, in reality, I guess I feel like I didn’t do such a hot job of it, either. Some sort of counseling may have been welcome then to help with self esteem and feeling like I did the right things at the right times. I doubt my own feelings and perceptions much of the time. I wish I had realized during that time of my life what I was dealing with. I have PTSD, am dissociative and have major depression and have been like this for years. I don’t fit the definition for having other separate personalities. (pretty sure, much lost time during early years but no evidence of "classic" indicators for DID) I’m somewhere else along the spectrum, m’thinks. I was abused s*x*ally, by my father, brothers, neighbors and a r*pe by a stranger when around 7 or so. Not to mention the physical *buse, verbal *buse done to all of us and animal *buse I witnessed. So I guess I "qualify". Lucky me. (I don’t think any of us think that. Just being sarcastic as usual)<–cynicism is a form of anger turned inward? Anyway, I have one son. (now 16 and a half. He has Asperger,Tourettes, a seizure disorder and some other coordination and motor problems and mild (?) depression) He is all I will have as I’ve had a hysterectomy when I was 41. My ex husband had a vacsecomy anyway. What was it like. Hmmm. The exams are never easy. The pregnancy didn’t bother me all that much until the last trimester. (edema, weight gain and the g. diabetes) I was in the Navy (joined to get away from home) when I had my son and didn’t get too much pampering or specialized care. (don’t think many HMO’s do that anymore anyway do they?) I didn’t know at that time what things were in the background waiting to come forth for me until much later. (issues around the abuse) I worked in GSE (ground support equip.- but they moved me to the tool shed, so I didn’t have to lift anything real heavy. <– So I could breathe in all the fumes from corrosion control’s chemicals?) I was real dumb and didn’t complain (enough) or stick up for my rights. I let them push me around too much and tell me things that I know now weren’t true. My son was born in 82. I went into treatment for PTSD due to *nc*st/trauma in 93. The Naval hospital was not well trained in birthing methods, IMO. They had me in a room with the door wide open to the hallway by the nurses station and I was on a gurney facing that direction with only a half sheet to partially cover me. Felt _really_ exposed and mortified. Men corpsmen were everywhere and no one ever asked if it was ok. More respect for my feelings would have been really nice. There was no mention of birthing rooms or alternate methods of delivery. (I did go natural up till the last 8-10 centimeters than I gave in and had a small amount of something but I don’t think it even took effect) Sure as h*ll didn’t feel like it and I can usually take a lot of p*in. The breathing exercises did help a lot. I think it kept me focused. I was told to wait out in the hall (line of hard chairs) until I was at least 4 centimeters dilated. (I was 3) I sat and listened to another girl sit and brag about how she kept right on smoking thru her pregnancy. They weren’t going to tell *her* what to do. Made me sick. (I don’t smoke so maybe I shouldn’t say anything) I was afraid to even have a glass of wine or an aspirin. I saw her baby afterwards. Then I really felt sick. Very small and unhealthy and crying constantly. Later I found out that one of the hospital corpsman (naval rating, like nurses aides, both sexes) dropped that baby on it’s head when another frustrated corpsman threw it to her to deal with and she wasn’t ready to "catch" it. Than I felt sickest of all, when I saw the poor little thing with this big cranial bandage on and it wasn’t crying at all anymore. That still bothers me. The neglect of careful prenatal care by the mother(again, I’m not a smoker so maybe I shouldn’t say that and maybe she had issues too?), the lack of adequate care and training by the staff, and how it *could* have been mine. I tried to be careful, but my son still had some trouble at birth. I had gestational diabetes (borderline) and he was muconium stained at birth. (they insisted that I be given an enema because it was *policy* even though I told them that I had been very loose all day and I get that way when nervous) It felt invasive to the max. The stress monitor (band around my belly with machine showing baby’s heartbeat) showed that there was some concern about reading his vitals during labor because I was so "obese". (I could have done without hearing them say that. They talked about me like I wasn’t there or some lump of bedding or something) so they broke my water and put a wire into his scalp. Then he got jaundiced on the second day and they put him under the bili lights. I guess most of that isn’t real major but the neurologist we saw a few years ago thought those things may have some significance. (given his present RX’s, most of which weren’t given until later in his life, unfortunately for him and us) I tried to br*ast feed for two weeks but never really liked it. (hated it is a better word) And my son never really caught on. That may have explained the jaundice. I didn’t appreciate those purists who made me feel guilty for not continuing. (la leche league?) Like I was ruining his chances for a good life forever. I would have liked to been allowed to see any of the ultrasounds that they did too. They never let me see. Had it turned away from me. Maybe it would have helped create a better bond between me and my son. I went back to work four weeks after the delivery. My ex (then husband) was in college and so we had to find a day care. Adequate day care with trained help would have been nice somewhere closer like on base. I wonder now about the woman that we had watching him. (long story) I don’t think I did good there either. I think they automatically think we will know what to do because of some thing that happens when we become mothers. If it wasn’t ever shown to us when we were small, we are at a big disadvantage and may not realize what is normal and what isn’t. My boundaries didn’t allow for me to speak up enough or even notice when things weren’t done that should have been done. Someone who is aware of this, around during those times would have been very helpful. I don’t know. I sure talked a lot. Maybe a good part of it just goes down to comon respect for someones feelings and being aware of the special needs and their lack of the ability to ask for them. At least in my case anyway. Others may react totally different and be very outspoken and welcome the chance to do battle with the forces that be. One of sisters would have been like that, I think. If she could have had the chance. Enough already. sorry I got wordy. Linda 2creus (please don’t use any identifying names in your paper) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – hello all… i am trying to do this in the most respectful manner possible, so please forgive me if i accidently do something wrong (it wouldn’t be the first time!) this post concerns pregnancy and birth so if you have issues with that please skip it. i also have not "splatted" anything (is that the word?` when you stick those little * things in the middle of things?), as i just did not know what the "rules" were and i could not find a FAQ. thanks for your understanding…be good to yourselves… i am a senior at the University of California, Santa Cruz, and i am currently writing my thesis (or trying to those of you who are students will understand). one part of the thesis is about how to provide quality maternity/prenatal care to women who are survivors of abuse, mainly sexual. i am looking for people who would be willing to write down any
… read more »
Response:
Hello Linda 2creus, I would write you via e-mail as I doubt that many people are interested in this subject but I didn’t know if that was cool. You wrote; – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -spoilered for talk of pr*gn*ncy, incidents that are disturbing and frank (& wordy) talk of my background issues. Useage of medical terms not splatted. (should they be?) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Snip It amazed me how similar we were; Butterfly Puzzle had it pretty much correct when she spoke of her pregnancy. I think she mentioned something about feeling like a poor mother. I want to say for her and myself and all others that maybe we did the best we could under the circumstances. Each has their own strengths and weaknesses of course, and their own issues to deal with.
So kind of you. And you are right. I know I made an effort to do my best. At times I thought I was doing my best even though I didn’t stop to think about what I was doing. There were times when I could think of better ways to do things and wanted to do them differently, especially hol*day stuff but I couldn’t do it no matter how much I wanted to. Sometimes I even thought I should give her away to someone who could do a better job only when I looked around no one seemed to be doing what I would want for my daughter. But yes, in reality, I guess I feel like I didn’t do such a hot job of it, either. Some sort of counseling may have been welcome then to help with self esteem and feeling like I did the right things at the right times. I doubt my own feelings and perceptions much of the time.
I doubt my own feelings and perceptions much of the time too. I know my par*nts taught me that. I wish I had realized during that time of my life what I was dealing with. I have PTSD, am dissociative and have major depression and have been like this for years. I don’t fit the definition for having other separate personalities. (pretty sure, much lost time during early years but no evidence of "classic" indicators for DID) I’m somewhere else along the spectrum, m’thinks. I was abused s*x*ally, by my father, brothers, neighbors and a r*pe by a stranger when around 7 or so. Not to mention the physical *buse, verbal *buse done to all of us and animal *buse I witnessed.
So sorry. Sounds like you have reason fo time loss. So I guess I "qualify". Lucky me. (I don’t think any of us think that. Just being sarcastic as usual)<–cynicism is a form of anger turned inward?
I know this isn’t exactly what you’re saying but it amazes me how so many of us think we’re lucky we weren’t ab*sed as bad as other people. And yet I think no ab*se of any form is acceptable. I’m just throwing that in. It doesn’t really relate only I happened to think of it just now. Anyway, I have one son. (now 16 and a half. He has Asperger,Tourettes, a seizure disorder and some other coordination and motor problems and mild (?) depression) He is all I will have as I’ve had a hysterectomy when I was 41. My ex husband had a vacsecomy anyway.
I have 1 daughter, age 23, and an ex husband who is still my friend. What was it like. Hmmm. The exams are never easy. The pregnancy didn’t bother me all that much until the last trimester. (edema, weight gain and the g. diabetes) I was in the Navy (joined to get away from home) when I had my son and didn’t get too much pampering or specialized care. (don’t think many HMO’s do that anymore anyway do they?) I didn’t know at that time what things were in the background waiting to come forth for me until much later. (issues around the abuse) I worked in GSE (ground support equip.- but they moved me to the tool shed, so I didn’t have to lift anything real heavy. <– So I could breathe in all the fumes from corrosion control’s chemicals?) I was real dumb and didn’t complain (enough) or stick up for my rights. I let them push me around too much and tell me things that I know now weren’t true.
Same thing I would have done and still do far more than is healthy for me. My son was born in 82. I went into treatment for PTSD due to *nc*st/trauma in 93.
Daughter born in 75. I began th*py in 89 and discovered my own dx during the hol*days at the end of that year. The Naval hospital was not well trained in birthing methods, IMO. They had me in a room with the door wide open to the hallway by the nurses station and I was on a gurney facing that direction with only a half sheet to partially cover me. Felt _really_ exposed and mortified. Men corpsmen were everywhere and no one ever asked if it was ok. More respect for my feelings would have been really nice.
So barbaric. No human dignity. I want to go into a tirade about m*le dominated health care. Will restrain myself. There was no mention of birthing rooms or alternate methods of delivery. (I did go natural up till the last 8-10 centimeters than I gave in and had a small amount of something but I don’t think it even took effect) Sure as h*ll didn’t feel like it and I can usually take a lot of p*in. The breathing exercises did help a lot. I think it kept me focused. I was told to wait out in the hall (line of hard chairs) until I was at least 4 centimeters dilated.
So sorry about that. You deserved more consideration and comfort. A woman about to give birth deserves to be spoiled. (I was 3) I sat and listened to another girl sit and brag about how she kept right on smoking thru her pregnancy. They weren’t going to tell *her* what to do. Made me sick. (I don’t smoke so maybe I shouldn’t say anything) I was afraid to even have a glass of wine or an aspirin. I saw her baby afterwards. Then I really felt sick. Very small and unhealthy and crying constantly. Later I found out that one of the hospital corpsman (naval rating, like nurses aides, both sexes) dropped that baby on it’s head when another frustrated corpsman threw it to her to deal with and she wasn’t ready to "catch" it. Than I felt sickest of all, when I saw the poor little thing with this big cranial bandage on and it wasn’t crying at all anymore. That still bothers me. The neglect of careful prenatal care by the mother(again, I’m not a smoker so maybe I shouldn’t say that and maybe she had issues too?), the lack of adequate care and training by the staff, and how it *could* have been mine. I tried to be careful, but my son still had some trouble at birth.
You sound like a very conscientious mother. I had gestational diabetes (borderline) and he was muconium stained at birth. (they insisted that I be given an enema because it was *policy* even though I told them that I had been very loose all day and I get that way when nervous) It felt invasive to the max. The stress monitor (band around my belly with machine showing baby’s heartbeat) showed that there was some concern about reading his vitals during labor because I was so "obese". (I could have done without hearing them say that. They talked about me like I wasn’t there or some lump of bedding or something)
So sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I gained 12 lbs with my daughter. Even so I felt very fat. People kept telling me to keep my weight down. I thought I was being good. Now I know I should have gained at least 14 lbs in order not to have a low birth weight baby. Luckily she was 6 lbs. We were vegetarians. I wonder if these things contributed to her having asthma and she has some symptoms that seem similar to lupus. Only she doesn’t have enough symptoms to be dxd with lupus. so they broke my water and put a wire into his scalp. Then he got jaundiced on the second day and they put him under the bili lights.
I would have had a lot of anxiety about my baby. They say mothers worry too much. I have a difficult time understanding why other feelings are o.k. but worry (on the part of women) isn’t. I guess most of that isn’t real major but the neurologist we saw a few years ago thought those things may have some significance. (given his present RX’s, most of which weren’t given until later in his life, unfortunately for him and us)
So glad you’ve consulted a number of opinions. Sounds like you are trying to take the best care you can of your son. I tried to br*ast feed for two weeks but never really liked it. (hated it is a better word) And my son never really caught on. That may have explained the jaundice. I didn’t appreciate those purists who made me feel guilty for not continuing. (la leche league?) Like I was ruining his chances for a good life forever. I would have liked to been allowed to see any of the ultrasounds that they did too. They never let me see. Had it turned away from me. Maybe it would have helped create a better bond between me and my son.
So sorry people did not consult you about your wishes and respect them for the ultrasound. I went back to work four weeks after the delivery. My ex (then husband) was in college and so we had to find a day care. Adequate day care with trained help would have been nice somewhere closer like on base. I wonder now about the woman that we had watching him. (long story) I don’t think I did good there either. I think they automatically think we will know what to do because of some thing that happens when we become mothers. If it wasn’t ever shown to us when we were small, we are at a big disadvantage and may not realize what is normal and what isn’t. My boundaries didn’t allow for me to speak up enough or even notice when things weren’t done that should have been done. Someone who is aware of this, around during those times would have been very helpful.
Yes, people seemed to think I would automatically know what to do with my child as I sat there feeling clueless. I kept wishing I could have had some course to teach me how to interact with my child. I could change diapers, feed, etc. I just couldn’t connect. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -I don’t
… read more »
Response:
Hello Linda 2creus, I would write you via e-mail as I doubt that many people are interested in this subject but I didn’t know if that was cool.
Email is cool too. I know, I never can remember who said not to email them and who said it was ok. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – You wrote; spoilered for talk of pr*gn*ncy, incidents that are disturbing and frank (& wordy) talk of my background issues. Useage of medical terms not splatted. (should they be?) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Snip It amazed me how similar we were;
Is that good or bad? <smiles Butterfly Puzzle had it pretty much correct when she spoke of her pregnancy. I think she mentioned something about feeling like a poor mother. I want to say for her and myself and all others that maybe we did the best we could under the circumstances. Each has their own strengths and weaknesses of course, and their own issues to deal with. So kind of you. And you are right. I know I made an effort to do my best. At times I thought I was doing my best even though I didn’t stop to think about what I was doing. There were times when I could think of better ways to do things and wanted to do them differently, especially hol*day stuff but I couldn’t do it no matter how much I wanted to. Sometimes I even thought I should give her away to someone who could do a better job only when I looked around no one seemed to be doing what I would want for my daughter.
I’ve been there. :( Kind of there right now, when my son and I get into it over different things. I have to give myself a time out too. I know I don’t always do the right thing. My son’s T will tell me about it too. I think it helps when he gives me feedback. I just wish he’d do it more. Kind of like, I know you must be feeling …..but it might be better if even tells me I’m doing a good job!!!! Relief!! But then the same old feelings come back and tell me he’s mistaken. Gotta turn those off, somehow. If you find out where that button is, let me know. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – But yes, in reality, I guess I feel like I didn’t do such a hot job of it, either. Some sort of counseling may have been welcome then to help with self esteem and feeling like I did the right things at the right times. I doubt my own feelings and perceptions much of the time. I doubt my own feelings and perceptions much of the time too. I know my par*nts taught me that. same here. I wish I had realized during that time of my life what I was dealing with. I have PTSD, am dissociative and have major depression and have been like this for years. I don’t fit the definition for having other separate personalities. (pretty sure, much lost time during early years but no evidence of "classic" indicators for DID) I’m somewhere else along the spectrum, m’thinks. I was abused s*x*ally, by my father, brothers, neighbors and a r*pe by a stranger when around 7 or so. Not to mention the physical *buse, verbal *buse done to all of us and animal *buse I witnessed. So sorry. Sounds like you have reason fo time loss.
Thank You. As do all of us. Unfortunately. So I guess I "qualify". Lucky me. (I don’t think any of us think that. Just being sarcastic as usual)<–cynicism is a form of anger turned inward? I know this isn’t exactly what you’re saying but it amazes me how so many of us think we’re lucky we weren’t ab*sed as bad as other people. And yet I think no ab*se of any form is acceptable. I’m just throwing that in. It doesn’t really relate only I happened to think of it just now.
But it is something I’ve heard/read people say over and over in these groups. Minimizing their own abuse. (not as someone else would do to you but as what you would do to yourself) I do it. It’s easy to when you hear some of what others had to live thru. Anyway, I have one son. (now 16 and a half. He has Asperger,Tourettes, a seizure disorder and some other coordination and motor problems and mild (?) depression) He is all I will have as I’ve had a hysterectomy when I was 41. My ex husband had a vacsecomy anyway. I have 1 daughter, age 23, and an ex husband who is still my friend.
My ex and I get along ok but I wouldn’t go so far as to say we’re friends anymore. At least, we present a united front at the IEP meetings at school. We’ve had to get him the services he needs. I was real dumb and didn’t complain (enough) or stick up for my rights. I let them push me around too much and tell me things that I know now weren’t true. Same thing I would have done and still do far more than is healthy for me.
It is a learning process, I guess. Too afraid of being thought of as a b*tch or just not *nice*. (blechhtt, that word makes me sick sometimes) My son was born in 82. I went into treatment for PTSD due to *nc*st/trauma in 93. Daughter born in 75. I began th*py in 89 and discovered my own dx during the hol*days at the end of that year.
75. Hmmm. I had been out of high school for a few years then. (4) Elephant bells, hot pants and shiny flowered shirts and pant suits with platform shoes? Or big clunky shoes like are coming back now. (much my delight, the clunky’s not platforms) The Naval hospital was not well trained in birthing methods, IMO. They had me in a room with the door wide open to the hallway by the nurses station and I was on a gurney facing that direction with only a half sheet to partially cover me. Felt _really_ exposed and mortified. Men corpsmen were everywhere and no one ever asked if it was ok. More respect for my feelings would have been really nice. So barbaric. No human dignity. I want to go into a tirade about m*le dominated health care. Will restrain myself.
nods. Will do the same. grrrr….grumble….mumble…… There was no mention of birthing rooms or alternate methods of delivery. (I did go natural up till the last 8-10 centimeters than I gave in and had a small amount of something but I don’t think it even took effect) Sure as h*ll didn’t feel like it and I can usually take a lot of p*in. The breathing exercises did help a lot. I think it kept me focused. I was told to wait out in the hall (line of hard chairs) until I was at least 4 centimeters dilated. So sorry about that. You deserved more consideration and comfort. A woman about to give birth deserves to be spoiled.
Nah…..I’m tough…..I can take it…..I’ll show come around and I turned into a faucet? <grins the lack of adequate care and training by the staff, and how it *could* have been mine. I tried to be careful, but my son still had some trouble at birth. You sound like a very conscientious mother.
Not always. I’m sure you were just as much so. Maybe more. I made many bad decisions. I had gestational diabetes (borderline) and he was muconium stained at birth. (they insisted that I be given an enema because it was *policy* even though I told them that I had been very loose all day and I get that way when nervous) It felt invasive to the max. The stress monitor (band around my belly with machine showing baby’s heartbeat) showed that there was some concern about reading his vitals during labor because I was so "obese". (I could have done without hearing them say that. They talked about me like I wasn’t there or some lump of bedding or something) So sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I gained 12 lbs with my daughter. Even so I felt very fat. People kept telling me to keep my weight down.
why do people have to do that? I’m sorry that they kept saying to keep it down when you were probably doing just fine. When you’re having your first and don’t know anything, you depend on those around you to give good pointers and helpful advice. I thought I was being good. Now I know I should have gained at least 14 lbs in order not to have a low birth weight baby. Luckily she was 6 lbs.
Aren’t girls smaller usually, than boys? I think things around 75 were probably a lot like they were in 82. People tended to associate heathy babies with chubby ones. They found out later that wasn’t so. We were vegetarians. I wonder if these things contributed to her having asthma and she has some symptoms that seem similar to lupus. Only she doesn’t have enough symptoms to be dxd with lupus.
She probably had a predispostion somewhere in the genetics for things like that. I know the Lupus isn’t an easy diagnosis to come by. At least, according to one sister who say’s she’s got it. Either that or Cushings. (are they similar?) Is there anything that they can do for her now, even without a formal dx? I used to know some of the symptoms but it’s been years now. (my brain is a sieve) I don’t know about all the things that can affect a child at that early stage. Maybe we shouldn’t do that to ourselves, if it isn’t anything that can be changed now? so they broke my water and put a wire into his scalp. Then he got jaundiced on the second day and they put him under the bili lights. I would have had a lot of anxiety about my baby. They say mothers worry too much. I have a difficult time understanding why other feelings are o.k. but worry (on the part of women) isn’t.
Good mothers worry and so do good fathers. IMO I know what you mean about the "neurotic female ie crying, hysterical, dingbat type" image that seems rather prevelent in some … read more »
If you like this post and would like to receive updates from this blog, please subscribe our feed.