Question:
Hi group! I have a question about projection and intense memories. I have a lot of those, flashbacks and images that I can’t get rid of. But it’s recently become a slightly bigger problem. I have a girlfriend, and sometimes I forget that she’s my girlfriend and not my perp. Is she in any real danger if I start to project? Most of the time I just freeze up and I can’t do anything, but I am getting more and more agressive thinking about what happened. I am afraid I might hurt her. Does anyone know if this is a real concern? I don’t want to find out about experimentally. Last time I had a flashback when she was there, nothing really happened. I just had the flashback, i froze..I couldn’t do anything anymore. I just got raped all over again. And since that time I am so agressive. I feel so much anger…it’s incredible! But what if the flashbacks really do become ‘interactive’? I am afraid to really hurt her. More over, sometimes I look at her and then I get these images of what happened and then I feel really sick. I am afraid I might connect her to my images and I don’t want that. Last night I couldn’t sleep at all. I only went to bed by 5 am, and I got up by 6:30 so…not too much sleep. These things really haunt me now. Do I make sense at all? I am really mixed up now and I find it difficult to think coherently. Well, i’ll just keep quiet now… take care — Robert Bronsing ‘In the beginning, the file was without form, and void; and emptiness was upon the face of the bits. And the Fingers of the Author moved upon the face of the keyboard. And the Author said: ‘Let there be words’, and there were words’ from the Linux System Administrators Guide
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -bronsing wrote: > Hi group! > I have a question about projection and intense memories. I have a lot of > those, flashbacks and images that I can’t get rid of. But it’s recently > become a slightly bigger problem. I have a girlfriend, and sometimes I > forget that she’s my girlfriend and not my perp. Is she in any real > danger if I start to project? Most of the time I just freeze up and I > can’t do anything, but I am getting more and more agressive thinking > about what happened. I am afraid I might hurt her. Does anyone know if > this is a real concern? I don’t want to find out about experimentally. > Last time I had a flashback when she was there, nothing really happened. > I just had the flashback, i froze..I couldn’t do anything anymore. I > just got raped all over again. And since that time I am so agressive. I > feel so much anger…it’s incredible! But what if the flashbacks really > do become ‘interactive’? I am afraid to really hurt her. More over, > sometimes I look at her and then I get these images of what happened and > then I feel really sick. I am afraid I might connect her to my images > and I don’t want that. > Last night I couldn’t sleep at all. I only went to bed by 5 am, and I > got up by 6:30 so…not too much sleep. These things really haunt me > now. > Do I make sense at all? I am really mixed up now and I find it difficult > to think coherently. > Well, i’ll just keep quiet now… > take care > — > Robert Bronsing > ‘In the beginning, the file was without form, and void; > and emptiness was upon the face of the bits. > And the Fingers of the Author moved upon the face of the keyboard. > And the Author said: ‘Let there be words’, and there were words’ > from the Linux System Administrators Guide
Robert, If this doesn’t fit then just discard the message, and I’ll leave the more day to day advice to the others. I wanted to comment here, because this what I was writing about when I arrived in the ng. I think I understand what you’re experiencing. You can’t protect yourself. One one hand, you can’t protect yourself from yourself. Our minds keep throwing these images at us, that for a split second or more, are so realistic we can’t distinguish them from reality. You want to protect yourself, that’s the rage. But you could inadvertently hurt someone. And then, if that ever did happen, well I would worry about being arrested, and put in jail. A place where you can’t protect yourself from being sexually assaulted. It’s not just fear, it’s terror. If any of this rings true, I have some practical advice for you.
Response:
Well, yeah…that’s exactly what I mean. But what can you do about it, if anything? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Ron Nicholson wrote: > bronsing wrote: > > Hi group! > > I have a question about projection and intense memories. I have a lot of > > those, flashbacks and images that I can’t get rid of. But it’s recently > > become a slightly bigger problem. I have a girlfriend, and sometimes I > > forget that she’s my girlfriend and not my perp. Is she in any real > > danger if I start to project? Most of the time I just freeze up and I > > can’t do anything, but I am getting more and more agressive thinking > > about what happened. I am afraid I might hurt her. Does anyone know if > > this is a real concern? I don’t want to find out about experimentally. > > Last time I had a flashback when she was there, nothing really happened. > > I just had the flashback, i froze..I couldn’t do anything anymore. I > > just got raped all over again. And since that time I am so agressive. I > > feel so much anger…it’s incredible! But what if the flashbacks really > > do become ‘interactive’? I am afraid to really hurt her. More over, > > sometimes I look at her and then I get these images of what happened and > > then I feel really sick. I am afraid I might connect her to my images > > and I don’t want that. > > Last night I couldn’t sleep at all. I only went to bed by 5 am, and I > > got up by 6:30 so…not too much sleep. These things really haunt me > > now. > > Do I make sense at all? I am really mixed up now and I find it difficult > > to think coherently. > > Well, i’ll just keep quiet now… > > take care > > — > > Robert Bronsing > > ‘In the beginning, the file was without form, and void; > > and emptiness was upon the face of the bits. > > And the Fingers of the Author moved upon the face of the keyboard. > > And the Author said: ‘Let there be words’, and there were words’ > > from the Linux System Administrators Guide > Robert, > If this doesn’t fit then just discard the message, and I’ll leave the more > day to day advice to the others. I wanted to comment here, because this > what I was writing about when I arrived in the ng. I think I understand > what you’re experiencing. You can’t protect yourself. > One one hand, you can’t protect yourself from yourself. Our minds keep > throwing these images at us, that for a split second or more, are so > realistic we can’t distinguish them from reality. > You want to protect yourself, that’s the rage. But you could inadvertently > hurt someone. And then, if that ever did happen, well I would worry about > being arrested, and put in jail. A place where you can’t protect yourself > from being sexually assaulted. It’s not just fear, it’s terror. > If any of this rings true, I have some practical advice for you.
– Robert Bronsing ‘In the beginning, the file was without form, and void; and emptiness was upon the face of the bits. And the Fingers of the Author moved upon the face of the keyboard. And the Author said: ‘Let there be words’, and there were words’ from the Linux System Administrators Guide
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -bronsing wrote: > Well, yeah…that’s exactly what I mean. > But what can you do about it, if anything? > Ron Nicholson wrote: > > bronsing wrote: > > > Hi group! > > > I have a question about projection and intense memories. I have a lot of > > > those, flashbacks and images that I can’t get rid of. But it’s recently > > > become a slightly bigger problem. I have a girlfriend, and sometimes I > > > forget that she’s my girlfriend and not my perp. Is she in any real > > > danger if I start to project? Most of the time I just freeze up and I > > > can’t do anything, but I am getting more and more agressive thinking > > > about what happened. I am afraid I might hurt her. Does anyone know if > > > this is a real concern? I don’t want to find out about experimentally. > > > Last time I had a flashback when she was there, nothing really happened. > > > I just had the flashback, i froze..I couldn’t do anything anymore. I > > > just got raped all over again. And since that time I am so agressive. I > > > feel so much anger…it’s incredible! But what if the flashbacks really > > > do become ‘interactive’? I am afraid to really hurt her. More over, > > > sometimes I look at her and then I get these images of what happened and > > > then I feel really sick. I am afraid I might connect her to my images > > > and I don’t want that. > > > Last night I couldn’t sleep at all. I only went to bed by 5 am, and I > > > got up by 6:30 so…not too much sleep. These things really haunt me > > > now. > > > Do I make sense at all? I am really mixed up now and I find it difficult > > > to think coherently. > > > Well, i’ll just keep quiet now… > > > take care > > > — > > > Robert Bronsing > > > ‘In the beginning, the file was without form, and void; > > > and emptiness was upon the face of the bits. > > > And the Fingers of the Author moved upon the face of the keyboard. > > > And the Author said: ‘Let there be words’, and there were words’ > > > from the Linux System Administrators Guide > > Robert, > > If this doesn’t fit then just discard the message, and I’ll leave the more > > day to day advice to the others. I wanted to comment here, because this > > what I was writing about when I arrived in the ng. I think I understand > > what you’re experiencing. You can’t protect yourself. > > One one hand, you can’t protect yourself from yourself. Our minds keep > > throwing these images at us, that for a split second or more, are so > > realistic we can’t distinguish them from reality. > > You want to protect yourself, that’s the rage. But you could inadvertently > > hurt someone. And then, if that ever did happen, well I would worry about > > being arrested, and put in jail. A place where you can’t protect yourself > > from being sexually assaulted. It’s not just fear, it’s terror. > > If any of this rings true, I have some practical advice for you.
There are two levels to deal with. First, I would suggest a conversation with your girlfriend. You don’t have to frighten her, but she needs to understand to back off immediately if and when you freeze up. Or better still, to have a "safety" word. A quick way to communicate that you aren’t feeling safe and to leave until you feel in control. I don’t believe that you would harm her. But the added comfort of knowing that she is in control when you aren’t will, or should help alleviate the stress of that moment for you. Second, how realistic are you being? Have you ever lashed out at anyone in rage. If the answer is no, then you really have nothing to fear. Have you ever harmed anyone because you were experiencing visions? If not, even less of a chance that you would suddenly choose that moment to lash out at someone. If you feel there is that potential, then give yourself an "escape route." Somewhere you can get to quickly, a locked bathroom even, where you are out of harm’s way, and not likely to be provoked by someone. Or mistake a simple gesture as threatening. I’m sure others will have other suggestions. The second level, and I usually use a list, is to start recording each and every situation where you could protect yourself. Record each situation where you had visions, when she was around, and you didn’t harm her or anyone else. The cognitive technique is: And finally, ask yourself what is the best and worst things that could happen if what your afraid of is true. And then combine them to give yourself a realistic assessment of the situation.
Response:
bronsing wrote: > Thanks for the advice. I’ll talk about it with my girlfriend.. > To answer your question about how realistic I’m being; Yeah..I have had > flashbacks during which someone close to me changed in my perp and I hit > him, hard. It’s happened just once in my life, but I’m afraid of what > might happen if it happens again. > Well, maybe i’m just being paranoid…But again, thanks for the advice. > take care.
I can also highly recommend two anger workbooks, as well as a cognitive therapy workbook. If you are so motivated, they are great tools.
Response:
hello everybody! you all have my greatest sympathy Ive had ptsd since nov1985,but I never was diagnosed until 1995 because here in england most G.ps. in my opinion are moronic scumbags,I was told there is no such condition this was 9yrs after it was recognised as a medical condition by the b.m.a. and guess what despite having emergency treatment for nearly two yrs ,and being diagnosed twice by the reputable and very good Traumatic stress clinic,charlotte street ,london,my new G.p. informed my girlfriend recently that "in his opinion" Ive never had P.t.s.d..Dont you just love these usually Middle class morons,If its of any help to anybody,Ive found in informing oneself as much as possible about the condition can be very helpful in at least living with the condition,after 1995 I helped over twenty people get diagnosed with P.t.s.d.(I couldnt stop myself)the amount of traumatised people walking about in especially dodgy inner city areas is absolutely disgusting ,there are many doctors in this country who are an absolute disgrace,watch yourselves out there .and trust your own instincts about people .you will usually be right,trust your own judgements,good luck everybody! Jim bryson p.s.there is a very good helpline T.a.c.t. based in cheltenham,gloustershire get the number from directory enquiries ,they really know what they are talking about T.a.c.t stands for Trauma aftercare trust the helpline is 24hr .
Response:
Thanks for the advice. I’ll talk about it with my girlfriend.. To answer your question about how realistic I’m being; Yeah..I have had flashbacks during which someone close to me changed in my perp and I hit him, hard. It’s happened just once in my life, but I’m afraid of what might happen if it happens again. Well, maybe i’m just being paranoid…But again, thanks for the advice. take care. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Ron Nicholson wrote: > bronsing wrote: > > Well, yeah…that’s exactly what I mean. > > But what can you do about it, if anything? > > Ron Nicholson wrote: > > > bronsing wrote: > > > > Hi group! > > > > I have a question about projection and intense memories. I have a lot of > > > > those, flashbacks and images that I can’t get rid of. But it’s recently > > > > become a slightly bigger problem. I have a girlfriend, and sometimes I > > > > forget that she’s my girlfriend and not my perp. Is she in any real > > > > danger if I start to project? Most of the time I just freeze up and I > > > > can’t do anything, but I am getting more and more agressive thinking > > > > about what happened. I am afraid I might hurt her. Does anyone know if > > > > this is a real concern? I don’t want to find out about experimentally. > > > > Last time I had a flashback when she was there, nothing really happened. > > > > I just had the flashback, i froze..I couldn’t do anything anymore. I > > > > just got raped all over again. And since that time I am so agressive. I > > > > feel so much anger…it’s incredible! But what if the flashbacks really > > > > do become ‘interactive’? I am afraid to really hurt her. More over, > > > > sometimes I look at her and then I get these images of what happened and > > > > then I feel really sick. I am afraid I might connect her to my images > > > > and I don’t want that. > > > > Last night I couldn’t sleep at all. I only went to bed by 5 am, and I > > > > got up by 6:30 so…not too much sleep. These things really haunt me > > > > now. > > > > Do I make sense at all? I am really mixed up now and I find it difficult > > > > to think coherently. > > > > Well, i’ll just keep quiet now… > > > > take care > > > > — > > > > Robert Bronsing > > > > ‘In the beginning, the file was without form, and void; > > > > and emptiness was upon the face of the bits. > > > > And the Fingers of the Author moved upon the face of the keyboard. > > > > And the Author said: ‘Let there be words’, and there were words’ > > > > from the Linux System Administrators Guide > > > Robert, > > > If this doesn’t fit then just discard the message, and I’ll leave the more > > > day to day advice to the others. I wanted to comment here, because this > > > what I was writing about when I arrived in the ng. I think I understand > > > what you’re experiencing. You can’t protect yourself. > > > One one hand, you can’t protect yourself from yourself. Our minds keep > > > throwing these images at us, that for a split second or more, are so > > > realistic we can’t distinguish them from reality. > > > You want to protect yourself, that’s the rage. But you could inadvertently > > > hurt someone. And then, if that ever did happen, well I would worry about > > > being arrested, and put in jail. A place where you can’t protect yourself > > > from being sexually assaulted. It’s not just fear, it’s terror. > > > If any of this rings true, I have some practical advice for you. > There are two levels to deal with. > First, I would suggest a conversation with your girlfriend. You don’t have to > frighten her, but she needs to understand to back off immediately if and when > you freeze up. Or better still, to have a "safety" word. A quick way to > communicate that you aren’t feeling safe and to leave until you feel in > control. > I don’t believe that you would harm her. But the added comfort of knowing that > she is in control when you aren’t will, or should help alleviate the stress of > that moment for you. > Second, how realistic are you being? Have you ever lashed out at anyone in > rage. If the answer is no, then you really have nothing to fear. Have you ever > harmed anyone because you were experiencing visions? If not, even less of a > chance that you would suddenly choose that moment to lash out at someone. > If you feel there is that potential, then give yourself an "escape route." > Somewhere you can get to quickly, a locked bathroom even, where you are out of > harm’s way, and not likely to be provoked by someone. Or mistake a simple > gesture as threatening. I’m sure others will have other suggestions. > The second level, and I usually use a list, is to start recording each and > every situation where you could protect yourself. Record each situation where > you had visions, when she was around, and you didn’t harm her or anyone else. > The cognitive technique is: > And finally, ask yourself what is the best and worst things that could happen > if what your afraid of is true. And then combine them to give yourself a > realistic assessment of the situation.
– Robert Bronsing ‘In the beginning, the file was without form, and void; and emptiness was upon the face of the bits. And the Fingers of the Author moved upon the face of the keyboard. And the Author said: ‘Let there be words’, and there were words’ from the Linux System Administrators Guide
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -james bryson wrote: > hello everybody! > you all have my greatest sympathy Ive had ptsd since nov1985,but I never was > diagnosed until 1995 because here in england most G.ps. in my opinion are > moronic scumbags,I was told there is no such condition this was 9yrs after > it was recognised as a medical condition by the b.m.a. and guess what > despite having emergency treatment for nearly two yrs ,and being diagnosed > twice by the reputable and very good Traumatic stress clinic,charlotte > street ,london,my new G.p. informed my girlfriend recently that "in his > opinion" Ive never had P.t.s.d..Dont you just love these usually Middle > class morons,If its of any help to anybody,Ive found in informing oneself as > much as possible about the condition can be very helpful in at least living > with the condition,after 1995 I helped over twenty people get diagnosed with > P.t.s.d.(I couldnt stop myself)the amount of traumatised people walking > about in especially dodgy inner city areas > is absolutely disgusting ,there are many doctors in this country who are an > absolute disgrace,watch yourselves out there .and trust your own instincts > about people .you will usually be right,trust your own judgements,good luck > everybody! > Jim bryson > p.s.there is a very good helpline T.a.c.t. based in cheltenham,gloustershire > get the number from directory enquiries ,they really know what they are > talking about T.a.c.t stands for Trauma aftercare trust the helpline is 24hr
I’m really shocked by the examples of people’s experiences with the medical/psychiatric profession. I imagine I’ve been very fortunate in that respect. Something I learned along the way is not to get to caught up in the diagnosis. It’s discretionary, and subjective to the doctor. And, in North america at least, several disorders in the DSM have very similar features. A label is a label, that you’re receiving good, solid treatment for your symptoms is the best you can do for yourself. I used to think that seeing an abuser charged and convicted would make me feel better. That happened and I did feel better — for 5 minutes. Same with labels and diagnosis. Having a name for what happens only lasts for so long.
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