Question:
Hi Z55! > I first cut when I was ten
This is one topic with which I have no direct experience, TG. However, I have known more than one person who had to be constantly sewed up in the VA ER. The most uncontrollable cutting resulted in the woman with PTSD being sent to a civilian (somewhere on the East coast) hospital for a 3-month treatment to help her control this behavior. I was told that this behavior is a result of wanting to make certain that ‘I really am alive.’ > I didn’t know that > other people did it.
I believe that cutting is part of the diagnosis group for PTSD, something to do with ‘numbing of emotions’. It is a very serious symptom and has resulted in death for some PTSDers. YMMV Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
"Nancy" <kipc…@msn.com> wrote in message
news:LBC7c.13166$1e1.11236@lakeread06… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Z55! > >> I space out in mid sentance and mid conversation all the time. > >> People around me, who want to stay around me, are accustomed to this > >> ‘mind wandering off into the ozone’ syndrome. My son can be a real > >> PITA saying ‘I’m waiting for you to answer my question, Mom.’ Most > >> of my girlfriends are like my therapist and try to gently lead me > >> back to what we were disucssing. > > I don’t have kids, just a couple of dogs, but they’ll bark and get me > > back on their priority track (it’s biscuit time fer chrissakes Mom!). > > Your girlfriends are nice to gently lead you back : ) I tell my > > friends "Don’t mess with my mind" and their reply is, "But it’s > > soooooo easy to do!" and laugh. > That doesn’t sound very friendly to me, especially the ‘laugh’ part. :/
Agreed, it’s usually "all in good fun". Except for when it’s not fun :/ > > I like to laugh just to make them worry about what I may be up to! > Is this called ‘getting even’?
Absolutely!!! Some of them have been through their own versions of hell and have a smart ass kind of sense of humour. Conversely they’d give you the shirt off their backs. It’s a call it like you see it bunch, and sometimes the truth does hurt, and yet when anyone’s been just plain bitchy I shut them down immediately. > I have this feeling that you attract (as do I) passive agressive types. > Defending myself against their negativity used to be a full-time job.
I have an idea of what passive agressiveness means, I couldn’t clearly define it at the moment though and haven’t given any thought as to whether I know anybody like that. I just came back from a therapy appt. and I’m brain-drained. Gonna go lay down awhile and curl up under the covers……… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> YMMV and I hope that it does. > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy
Response:
Hi Nancy, > This is one topic with which I have no direct experience, TG.
I’m glad you don’t, it’s not anything I particularly care to admit to. > However, I have known more than one person who had to be constantly sewed > up in the VA ER. The most uncontrollable cutting resulted in the woman > with PTSD being sent to a civilian (somewhere on the East coast) hospital > for a 3-month treatment to help her control this behavior. > I was told that this behavior is a result of wanting to make certain that > ‘I really am alive.’
I first found myself doing it not long after a failed suicide attempt. I don’t have any idea how it began, but for me it’s kind of similar to an animal caught in a trap chewing it’s own leg off. When emotions become too overwhelming to cope with it somehow calms the inside down, or brings it back from the dead zone. > > I didn’t know that > > other people did it. > I believe that cutting is part of the diagnosis group for PTSD, something > to do with ‘numbing of emotions’. It is a very serious symptom and has > resulted in death for some PTSDers. > YMMV > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy
I think I read somewhere that it’s part of the criteria for Complex PTSD. In my case there was such a multitude of abuses and traumas, some lasting for years at a young age. It’s a war zone up in my head and I guess that when I was younger cutting helped to deal with that somehow. I do still have suicidal ideations. Just this morning I was minding my own business when the thought of stashing up all the sleep meds and taking them all at once crossed my mind. My mind is like a minefield, explosions going off all the time, never know when one will momentarily take me out : / Since I’ve been in two major car accidents people just figure that the scars are from those. Although I hid the cutting I’m sure someone at some time must have seen something. I want to know how teachers, family members or friends of the family could look at a scrawny little kid who has long scars and fresh wounds on their wrists and arms and not ask somebody what the hell was going on. No one asked any questions, nobody "came to the rescue". Now as a middle aged adult (on the outside at least) I find out that others do it too. What is so sad is that people are judgemental and condemning of someone who obviously must be in great emotional pain. Z55
Response:
In article <zkb7c.29981$zP2.14…@bignews5.bellsouth.net>, tinydan…@nospam.com says… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I remember once, some years ago, he was telling me what great qualities I > had. And I was trying to relate what he’d said to a friend of mine. I kept > telling her "he said I had three things that were really positive." > Intuition, sensitivity, and damn if I could remember the third one." So I’m > going over the list in my head, telling her "I know there was a third > thing." Damn, damn, damn, I know there was a third thing, I just can’t > seem to think of it right now". At the time we were sitting in a coffee > shop, just to get away from the kids and all and have some time to chat > alone. So we’re sitting there, sipping coffee, and I’m still ‘trying to > remember that damn third thing." Suddenly it pops into my head, just out > of nowhere, and I blurt out ’A GOOD MEMORY’. That was the third thing, "a > good memory". The irony of *that* being the one I forgot just cracked us > both up. I mean, we spit coffee clear across the table at each other > laughing so hard. The waitress gave us a dirty look and the manager came > out to see ‘who was causing trouble.’ My ‘good memory’ almost got us kicked > out of the coffee shop. <g>
LOL! Lucky I wasn’t having a cuppa just then.
Response:
"tinydancer" <tinydan…@nospam.com> wrote in message
news:zkb7c.29981$zP2.14167@bignews5.bellsouth.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Ouuu, and Z helped me to think of something else. My therapist tells me to > never attempt too many things in one day. To set my goals small, so that > rather than failing at doing many things, I can succeed at doing one thing. > That way I feel like a success rather than a failure. Good for the psyche. > 
> Z had lots of great ideas! And may I reiterate, always ask doctors to write > things down for you. Even if they are very basic or simple directions, I > need them written down. I always take my husband with me to be my ears too. > Because I forget so easily. I can’t recall if you said you were seeing a > therapist or not? but if so, get that person to write things down for you > too. If my therapist has some good ideas of things for me to do, he always > writes ‘em down, because he know’s I’ll forget otherwise. > I remember once, some years ago, he was telling me what great qualities I > had. And I was trying to relate what he’d said to a friend of mine. I kept > telling her "he said I had three things that were really positive." > Intuition, sensitivity, and damn if I could remember the third one." So I’m > going over the list in my head, telling her "I know there was a third > thing." Damn, damn, damn, I know there was a third thing, I just can’t > seem to think of it right now". At the time we were sitting in a coffee > shop, just to get away from the kids and all and have some time to chat > alone. So we’re sitting there, sipping coffee, and I’m still ‘trying to > remember that damn third thing." Suddenly it pops into my head, just out > of nowhere, and I blurt out ’A GOOD MEMORY’. That was the third thing, "a > good memory". The irony of *that* being the one I forgot just cracked us > both up. I mean, we spit coffee clear across the table at each other > laughing so hard. The waitress gave us a dirty look and the manager came > out to see ‘who was causing trouble.’ My ‘good memory’ almost got us kicked > out of the coffee shop. <g> > See, ptsd is quite crappy most of the time, but sometimes, if you look at it > right, it can be quite funny too. :-) > td
Remind me not to sit directly across from you at the campfire td!!!!!!!!! This thread about forgetfullness brings up a few questions for me. Sometimes it seems that my speech is effected (or is it affected?) in that there are times when I stammer or stutter. It can get bad at times and embarrassing. Then there are times when I guess I just space out in mid sentence and then whoever I was speaking to will get my attention and tell me I didn’t finish a sentence. I can’t tell if it’s me, the meds, or what. I often intend to track what symptoms are occurring and what’s been going on with me, i.e. lack of sleep, increase in nightmares or the intensity of them, stress in life situations, anxiety levels. Unfortunately it’s just too much to tackle most of the time :/ Z55
Response:
Ouuu, and Z helped me to think of something else. My therapist tells me to never attempt too many things in one day. To set my goals small, so that rather than failing at doing many things, I can succeed at doing one thing. That way I feel like a success rather than a failure. Good for the psyche. Z had lots of great ideas! And may I reiterate, always ask doctors to write things down for you. Even if they are very basic or simple directions, I need them written down. I always take my husband with me to be my ears too. Because I forget so easily. I can’t recall if you said you were seeing a therapist or not? but if so, get that person to write things down for you too. If my therapist has some good ideas of things for me to do, he always writes ‘em down, because he know’s I’ll forget otherwise. I remember once, some years ago, he was telling me what great qualities I had. And I was trying to relate what he’d said to a friend of mine. I kept telling her "he said I had three things that were really positive." Intuition, sensitivity, and damn if I could remember the third one." So I’m going over the list in my head, telling her "I know there was a third thing." Damn, damn, damn, I know there was a third thing, I just can’t seem to think of it right now". At the time we were sitting in a coffee shop, just to get away from the kids and all and have some time to chat alone. So we’re sitting there, sipping coffee, and I’m still ‘trying to remember that damn third thing." Suddenly it pops into my head, just out of nowhere, and I blurt out ’A GOOD MEMORY’. That was the third thing, "a good memory". The irony of *that* being the one I forgot just cracked us both up. I mean, we spit coffee clear across the table at each other laughing so hard. The waitress gave us a dirty look and the manager came out to see ‘who was causing trouble.’ My ‘good memory’ almost got us kicked out of the coffee shop. <g> See, ptsd is quite crappy most of the time, but sometimes, if you look at it right, it can be quite funny too. :-) td "Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:_bb7c.956$Fo4.9745@typhoon.sonic.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Geoff! > One thing that has helped me is a message board with a marker. It wipes > clean so saves on paper notes. I keep it next to the phone, which has a > calendar on the wall. > At the top it says, "Did you take your meds?" and below that I write the day > of the week and what appointments I have and things I need to do. It’s a > help in remembering. I also keep a small notebook with me at all times, or > at least a pen handy to write things down. > I’ve found that a home message machine is great too, I now call home and > leave messages for myself. Works great! > Us older folks do tend to become forgetful as we get older so yes, part of > it is just natural. Some of us take medications that can be detrimental to > short term memory – my sleep med does that. After taking it a few days I > suffer from CRS (Can’t Remember Shit) so badly that the only way I know if > I’ve used the soap in the shower is to look and see if it’s wet. : ) And > sometimes I need to be reminded to shower in the first place :/ > I don’t cook anymore either when home alone. Like td, I tend to burn > things, have burnt myself or have had accidents with the knife. Not good. > I’m lucky in that I have retired friends who invite me to visit for a good > part of the day a few days a week and they feed me lunch or dinner. In > exchange I help around their house, do the dishes or pull weeds, plant > flowers or whatever. Going to visit them helps me feel as though I’m > productive and useful. It also keeps me from completely isolating. I learn > social skills and relationship skills from them. It also gives my wife a > break. > It’s difficult Geoff. No doubt about it. I think one of the hardest things > is when we don’t understand what’s happened/ing to us. Of course it’s > really hard also when we feel that nobody understands us either. > One other thing you may want to consider is a small palm sized tape > recorder. It fits nicely in your shirt pocket and you can just talk into it > instead of having to write things down. > I ask my docs to write things down for me, and ask anyone I have to make an > appointment with to phone me the day prior to remind me. Most offices are > quite helpful that way and are happy to assist you if you just ask. > I think that one of the major concerns is the ability to stay focused while > driving. If I’m having a bad day I simply won’t drive, or if I have to I’ll > take a bus to get to where I need to go. My wife took me on the bus several > times to get me used to it, and then took off work early to pick me up. It > may not sound like much, but for me to take a bus is a very difficult thing > to do. > I hope that some of the folks here can give you other ideas as well. Just > remember to pat yourself on the back when you’re doing better and don’t be > too harsh when you’re having a difficult time. If you’re starting to feel > overwhelmed, take measures to care for yourself, whether that means taking a > nap, or sitting quietly, meditating, or just lay down for awhile. *coming > from someone who can’t do any of that very well yet, but working on it : ) > Z55
Response:
Hi Nancy! > I just forget the words I am trying to say and cannot think of a > substitute. :/
Me too. Sometimes the other person will fill in the word for me, but sometimes there’s just this particular word, the precise word, I want to use and I just can’t get to it. What I’ve discovered just tonight is that when writing I can just put a _______ in for the time being. Then I’ll go back a little later and stick in a word. It may not be the right word, or may be a completely wrong word but has a similar sound, but I’ll use it. Then if a better one comes to mind I’ll replace it. At some point I’ve either found the word or figure that’s as good as it gets and have to let it go. When people say, "I don’t *see* a problem with you, you write just fine and can write quite a bit actually" they don’t see all the re-writing and editing and cut and pasting I’ll do before I give it the "OK". {… Hey, did I just hear a blue-jay squawk "Obsessive-Compulsive" and another reply "Perfectionist!" ? That’s jays for ya, givin’ it to me right in the shorts…} > I space out in mid sentance and mid conversation all the time. People > around me, who want to stay around me, are accustomed to this ‘mind > wandering off into the ozone’ syndrome. My son can be a real PITA saying > ‘I’m waiting for you to answer my question, Mom.’ Most of my girlfriends > are like my therapist and try to gently lead me back to what we were > disucssing.
I don’t have kids, just a couple of dogs, but they’ll bark and get me back on their priority track (it’s biscuit time fer chrissakes Mom!). Your girlfriends are nice to gently lead you back : ) I tell my friends "Don’t mess with my mind" and their reply is, "But it’s soooooo easy to do!" and laugh. > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy
I like to laugh just to make them worry about what I may be up to! Z55
Response:
Hi Z55! >> I space out in mid sentance and mid conversation all the time. >> People around me, who want to stay around me, are accustomed to this >> ‘mind wandering off into the ozone’ syndrome. My son can be a real >> PITA saying ‘I’m waiting for you to answer my question, Mom.’ Most >> of my girlfriends are like my therapist and try to gently lead me >> back to what we were disucssing. > I don’t have kids, just a couple of dogs, but they’ll bark and get me > back on their priority track (it’s biscuit time fer chrissakes Mom!). > Your girlfriends are nice to gently lead you back : ) I tell my > friends "Don’t mess with my mind" and their reply is, "But it’s > soooooo easy to do!" and laugh.
That doesn’t sound very friendly to me, especially the ‘laugh’ part. :/ > I like to laugh just to make them worry about what I may be up to!
Is this called ‘getting even’? I have this feeling that you attract (as do I) passive agressive types. Defending myself against their negativity used to be a full-time job. YMMV and I hope that it does. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
"tinydancer" <tinydan…@nospam.com> wrote in message
news:NYk7c.30238$zP2.19912@bignews5.bellsouth.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message > news:6yk7c.990$Fo4.10321@typhoon.sonic.net… > snipped> > > Remind me not to sit directly across from you at the campfire td!!!!!!!!! > Hehehe, I am a real barrel of LOL on those outings usually. I’d say, when > I’m feeling good, humor is my best assest, finding it in the strangest of > places I mean. ;-) > > This thread about forgetfullness brings up a few questions for me. > > Sometimes it seems that my speech is effected (or is it affected?) in that > > there are times when I stammer or stutter. It can get bad at times and > > embarrassing. Then there are times when I guess I just space out in mid > > sentence and then whoever I was speaking to will get my attention and tell > > me I didn’t finish a sentence. > > I can’t tell if it’s me, the meds, or what. I often intend to track what > > symptoms are occurring and what’s been going on with me, i.e. lack of > sleep, > > increase in nightmares or the intensity of them, stress in life > situations, > > anxiety levels. Unfortunately it’s just too much to tackle most of the > time > > :/ > > Z55 > I don’t stammer or stutter, not yet anyway. Don’t know if that is on the > horizon. But the thing I notice most is sometimes having to search for the > simplest of words. I mean, I can understand if I’m searching for a thought > or word that’s a bit out of the ordinary. But sometimes it’s a simple > everyday word and I just can’t come up with it.
When that would happen to me at work my co-workers would say, "Oh that’s normal, we’re all getting older and forget words". That would really piss me off. It’s not just forgetting words, it’s being in the shower and not knowing if you’re getting wet before you soap up or rinsing off after. It’s not being able to focus and concentrate enough to read a book. It’s not being able to balance my checkbook anymore :/ And I do relate to that > ‘losing my train of thought mid-sentence.’ As for the tracking, with me > anyway, it usually happens most when I’m stressed, anxious. When something > is really bothering me, even if I haven’t realized yet that it is. I’ll sit > down and try and focus, what is going on here, and realize that "I’m really > upset or worried about something" most of the times when I just blank out > like that. > Have you ever noticed that? That it happens more when something else has > you frazzled? Like when your neighbors are making lots of noise or > something and you’re already on edge? > td
Yea, when I push myself too hard I’ll hit the wall, or when stuff just gets to be too much. My wife is really good about telling me that I’ve done enough for one day and to please rest. When I’m struggling with some stupid thing that used to be so simple and I get frustrated to where I get angry, then I’ve gone too far and need to back off it. But I’m such a determined person that I usually don’t quit when I should. Or, rather, let’s not say "quit". Let’s say "put it aside for the time being". : ) Z55
Response:
*snipped> > I think I miss reading a book most of all, Z. I used to read at least a > couple books a week. It was my way to relax, keep my mind learning, my > brain working, etc. I’ve fallen into these ‘unable to read’ slumps before, > so maybe like me, one day you’ll just pop out of it again. It’s something > to hope for, anyway.
Yea, I keep hoping. I can read a paragraph or two here and reply, then go away for a few hours and pop back to it. With a book I seem to have to re-read and re-read and then I get frustrated and don’t pick it up again for weeks:/ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> snipped> > > Yea, when I push myself too hard I’ll hit the wall, or when stuff just > gets > > to be too much. My wife is really good about telling me that I’ve done > > enough for one day and to please rest. When I’m struggling with some > stupid > > thing that used to be so simple and I get frustrated to where I get angry, > > then I’ve gone too far and need to back off it. But I’m such a determined > > person that I usually don’t quit when I should. Or, rather, let’s not say > > "quit". Let’s say "put it aside for the time being". : ) > > Z55 > That happens to me too, except I usually burst into tears rather than hit > the wall. I just crumple into a heap and cry and cry. Maybe the anger is > better, I know my therapist used to try to get me to let my anger out. He > has these soft bat-like things he wanted me to beat stuff with. But I’m not > much of a ‘hitter’, so I just didn’t appear to have it in me. I was always > more of an ‘injure myself’ type person rather than lash out and hit at > someone or something else. I can’t recall if we’ve talked about cutting > ourselves here or not? But back awhile ago, in order to let that out, I’d > have to slice my wrist or arm and see blood to let some of that frustration > out. Those pent up feelings that would seem to just explode if I didn’t see > blood drawn. > td
I meant "hit the wall" metaphorically, like a car that’s out of control at a high rate of speed and hits a wall, or an athlete that physically exhausts the body to the point it collapses. So, I don’t literally hit the wall, although I did as a teenager. Like you I crumple into a heap and cry most of the time, however there are times when I become hostile. Hostility usually occurs out in public. Someone will verbally or visually assault someone else or myself or be rude and I feel like I’m about to go ballistic. It’s things like that that scare the hell out of me. I could go off on someone and maybe it would be the wrong person, or I could hurt someone or get hurt myself. I could get thrown in jail and that would really be bad for me :/ Spoiler: cutting – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -
I first cut when I was ten and had a failed suicide attempt. I’ve quit for the most part since I’ve met my wife, although I did once in the last couple of years. Therapy… not easy. I didn’t know that other people did it. Z55 Z55
Response:
Hi Z55! > This thread about forgetfullness brings up a few questions for me. > Sometimes it seems that my speech is effected (or is it affected?) in > that there are times when I stammer or stutter. It can get bad at > times and embarrassing.
I just forget the words I am trying to say and cannot think of a substitute. :/ > Then there are times when I guess I just > space out in mid sentence and then whoever I was speaking to will get > my attention and tell me I didn’t finish a sentence. > I can’t tell if it’s me, the meds, or what. I often intend to track > what symptoms are occurring and what’s been going on with me, i.e. > lack of sleep, increase in nightmares or the intensity of them, stress > in life situations, anxiety levels. Unfortunately it’s just too much > to tackle most of the time >:/
I space out in mid sentance and mid conversation all the time. People around me, who want to stay around me, are accustomed to this ‘mind wandering off into the ozone’ syndrome. My son can be a real PITA saying ‘I’m waiting for you to answer my question, Mom.’ Most of my girlfriends are like my therapist and try to gently lead me back to what we were disucssing. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
In article <Iyl7c.997$Fo4.10…@typhoon.sonic.net>, Zzon…@hotmail.com says… > That would really piss me off. It’s not just forgetting words, it’s being > in the shower and not knowing if you’re getting wet before you soap up or > rinsing off after. It’s not being able to focus and concentrate enough to > read a book. It’s not being able to balance my checkbook anymore :/
Welcome to my world. Pete, turning to the Internet
Response:
"Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Iyl7c.997$Fo4.10317@typhoon.sonic.net… snipped> > > > That would really piss me off. It’s not just forgetting words, it’s being > in the shower and not knowing if you’re getting wet before you soap up or > rinsing off after. It’s not being able to focus and concentrate enough to > read a book. It’s not being able to balance my checkbook anymore :/
I think I miss reading a book most of all, Z. I used to read at least a couple books a week. It was my way to relax, keep my mind learning, my brain working, etc. I’ve fallen into these ‘unable to read’ slumps before, so maybe like me, one day you’ll just pop out of it again. It’s something to hope for, anyway. snipped> > Yea, when I push myself too hard I’ll hit the wall, or when stuff just gets > to be too much. My wife is really good about telling me that I’ve done > enough for one day and to please rest. When I’m struggling with some stupid > thing that used to be so simple and I get frustrated to where I get angry, > then I’ve gone too far and need to back off it. But I’m such a determined > person that I usually don’t quit when I should. Or, rather, let’s not say > "quit". Let’s say "put it aside for the time being". : ) > Z55
That happens to me too, except I usually burst into tears rather than hit the wall. I just crumple into a heap and cry and cry. Maybe the anger is better, I know my therapist used to try to get me to let my anger out. He has these soft bat-like things he wanted me to beat stuff with. But I’m not much of a ‘hitter’, so I just didn’t appear to have it in me. I was always more of an ‘injure myself’ type person rather than lash out and hit at someone or something else. I can’t recall if we’ve talked about cutting ourselves here or not? But back awhile ago, in order to let that out, I’d have to slice my wrist or arm and see blood to let some of that frustration out. Those pent up feelings that would seem to just explode if I didn’t see blood drawn. td – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
Hi Geoff Harbinson! First, welcome to the ng. I’m sorry that you seem to qualify. Secondly, please note that the ASTP FAQ is located at http://www.astpfaq.bravepages.com/index.html Thirdly, short term memory loss or lack of focus is rather normal for those of us with PTSD. As my therapist keeps reminding me, short term memory loss is not always a sign of alzheimers … :/ I am getting the idea that short term memory loss is a normal part of aging, as well as a symptom of other things. The only way that I know to improve my short term memory is to focus on ‘being in the moment’ better. In my case, that takes meds, relaxation strategies, the whole gamut of PTSD treatment, and time. YMMV > Winston Churchill was asked to give the address to the Graduating > students of Oxford University.. > He rose to his feet and said only six words He said "Never Never Never > Never give up" he then sat down to a long thunderous standing > ovation. These words have inspired me many times in the dark days we > all know.
Wonderful quotation. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
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Hi Geoff! One thing that has helped me is a message board with a marker. It wipes clean so saves on paper notes. I keep it next to the phone, which has a calendar on the wall. At the top it says, "Did you take your meds?" and below that I write the day of the week and what appointments I have and things I need to do. It’s a help in remembering. I also keep a small notebook with me at all times, or at least a pen handy to write things down. I’ve found that a home message machine is great too, I now call home and leave messages for myself. Works great! Us older folks do tend to become forgetful as we get older so yes, part of it is just natural. Some of us take medications that can be detrimental to short term memory – my sleep med does that. After taking it a few days I suffer from CRS (Can’t Remember Shit) so badly that the only way I know if I’ve used the soap in the shower is to look and see if it’s wet. : ) And sometimes I need to be reminded to shower in the first place :/ I don’t cook anymore either when home alone. Like td, I tend to burn things, have burnt myself or have had accidents with the knife. Not good. I’m lucky in that I have retired friends who invite me to visit for a good part of the day a few days a week and they feed me lunch or dinner. In exchange I help around their house, do the dishes or pull weeds, plant flowers or whatever. Going to visit them helps me feel as though I’m productive and useful. It also keeps me from completely isolating. I learn social skills and relationship skills from them. It also gives my wife a break. It’s difficult Geoff. No doubt about it. I think one of the hardest things is when we don’t understand what’s happened/ing to us. Of course it’s really hard also when we feel that nobody understands us either. One other thing you may want to consider is a small palm sized tape recorder. It fits nicely in your shirt pocket and you can just talk into it instead of having to write things down. I ask my docs to write things down for me, and ask anyone I have to make an appointment with to phone me the day prior to remind me. Most offices are quite helpful that way and are happy to assist you if you just ask. I think that one of the major concerns is the ability to stay focused while driving. If I’m having a bad day I simply won’t drive, or if I have to I’ll take a bus to get to where I need to go. My wife took me on the bus several times to get me used to it, and then took off work early to pick me up. It may not sound like much, but for me to take a bus is a very difficult thing to do. I hope that some of the folks here can give you other ideas as well. Just remember to pat yourself on the back when you’re doing better and don’t be too harsh when you’re having a difficult time. If you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, take measures to care for yourself, whether that means taking a nap, or sitting quietly, meditating, or just lay down for awhile. *coming from someone who can’t do any of that very well yet, but working on it : ) Z55
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"Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:6yk7c.990$Fo4.10321@typhoon.sonic.net… snipped> > Remind me not to sit directly across from you at the campfire td!!!!!!!!!
Hehehe, I am a real barrel of LOL on those outings usually. I’d say, when I’m feeling good, humor is my best assest, finding it in the strangest of places I mean. ;-) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This thread about forgetfullness brings up a few questions for me. > Sometimes it seems that my speech is effected (or is it affected?) in that > there are times when I stammer or stutter. It can get bad at times and > embarrassing. Then there are times when I guess I just space out in mid > sentence and then whoever I was speaking to will get my attention and tell > me I didn’t finish a sentence. > I can’t tell if it’s me, the meds, or what. I often intend to track what > symptoms are occurring and what’s been going on with me, i.e. lack of sleep, > increase in nightmares or the intensity of them, stress in life situations, > anxiety levels. Unfortunately it’s just too much to tackle most of the time > :/ > Z55
I don’t stammer or stutter, not yet anyway. Don’t know if that is on the horizon. But the thing I notice most is sometimes having to search for the simplest of words. I mean, I can understand if I’m searching for a thought or word that’s a bit out of the ordinary. But sometimes it’s a simple everyday word and I just can’t come up with it. And I do relate to that ‘losing my train of thought mid-sentence.’ As for the tracking, with me anyway, it usually happens most when I’m stressed, anxious. When something is really bothering me, even if I haven’t realized yet that it is. I’ll sit down and try and focus, what is going on here, and realize that "I’m really upset or worried about something" most of the times when I just blank out like that. Have you ever noticed that? That it happens more when something else has you frazzled? Like when your neighbors are making lots of noise or something and you’re already on edge? td – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
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For a long time I have had a very bad memory problem. I forget some of the essentials of the day. I enjoy cooking very much but my family has decided that maybe Dad should not cook unless someone is at home. I hate this but I know that I might burn the place down. I have burned pots dry and left food in the oven until it more resembles charcoal. I forget peoples names, I forget appointments and don’t even remember them once reminded. When I leave the house to give my wife a break I stay away for a long time and go places and talk to people I know. I finally come home in the evening and can’t relate what I havebeen doin or where I have been. My wife find this disconcertingSometimes I end up in some town and have to think very hard where I am. When I do remember I have no remembrance of going there or why. I can mostly laugh at myself for these antics, but I know deep down that I HATE this condition and my doctor told me It has no cure, but we can work on improving my quality of life. I like the fact that my family takes care of me so well, but I feel so bad that It costs so much of there time(tears). To ease my troubled soul I volunteer my time to give peer support to others. As my wife said to me once Geoff you have more friends than most and people really like you. My mind says to me you’re a nutcase get used to it, people would not like you if they knew you were sick. This troubles me a great deal because I can remember the days when I was flying as a well respected member of the organization.Now I feel as nothing my wife says that those thoughts are not true but it all seems real to me. Does anyone have any tricks or methods that work for reminding them of what they have to do. I have tried makinga list but I seem to forget to put everything on it. I’m starting loose my thoughts so I will go now. Thank you for your listening ears. Geoff Harbinson Trenton, Ontario, Canada. Winston Churchill was asked to give the address to the Graduating students of Oxford University.. He rose to his feet and said only six words He said "Never Never Never Never give up" he then sat down to a long thunderous standing ovation. These words have inspired me many times in the dark days we all know.
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In article <fY07c.41526$E71.2490…@news20.bellglobal.com>, geoff.harbin…@sympatico.ca says… > Does anyone have any tricks or > methods that work for reminding them of what they have to do. I have tried > makinga list but I seem to forget to put everything on it. I’m starting > loose my thoughts so I will go now. Thank you for your listening ears.
G’day, Geoff! Forming new habits can help. Get into the habit of making an entry in a pocket diary – I use a Day-Timer system, but even a plain lined notebook is better than nothing – when there’s something you need to remember. Don’t put it off, make the instant connection between realising you have something you need to remember with the action of writing it down and after a surprisingly short time you’ll be in control of your life once again. The key is forming a new habit. Force yourself until it’s automatic and when it’s habitual it will come naturally. Pete
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He Geoff, I’ll get this out of the way first, Nat and Peter are trolls. They find sport in stalking Lucas, Peter on our * support * ng. "Geoff Harbinson" <geoff.harbin…@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:fY07c.41526$E71.2490504@news20.bellglobal.com… > For a long time I have had a very bad memory problem. I forget some of the > essentials of the day. I enjoy cooking very much but my family has decided > that maybe Dad should not cook unless someone is at home. I hate this but I > know that I might burn the place down. I have burned pots dry and left food > in the oven until it more resembles charcoal.
I think this is very common among us. I used to be the only cook in our family for many, many years. Was able to cook, help kids with homework, plan out my next days chores, and many other things all at the same time. Now, I dread cooking for much the same reasons you do. And in addition to those you already stated, I tend to cut and burn myself a lot in the kitchen now. I turn around to get or do something, and in a split second, have forgotten what it was I turned around to do. For simple dishes I used to prepare without a thought, I need a written recipe, list of instructions, and I still have to go back and read each line/ingredient step by step. The way I understand it is, my therapist says ‘my mind is way too full and I can’t hardly fit anything more into it right now." I forget peoples names, I > forget appointments and don’t even remember them once reminded. When I leave > the house to give my wife a break I stay away for a long time and go places > and talk to people I know. I finally come home in the evening and can’t > relate what I havebeen doin or where I have been. My wife find this > disconcertingSometimes I end up in some town and have to think very hard > where I am. When I do remember I have no remembrance of going there or
why. Sounds as if you are maybe losing time a bit? Another common occurance among many of us here. With me, it got so bad that I never go anywhere alone anymore. I’m hoping to improve upon that, but I’d go shopping and forget where I left the car, forget if I even drove there in a car, and most scary of all, forget what color car I had, what make it was, etc. I have a horrible memory of coming out of the grocery, with the boy pushing my cart of groceries behind me, walking up and down the lanes of cars, not knowing which one was mine and having no idea how to figure out which one it was. Tears streaming down my cheeks and panic settling in to me. > I can mostly laugh at myself for these antics, but I know deep down that I > HATE this condition and my doctor told me It has no cure, but we can work on > improving my quality of life.
Your doctor is probably right, it will never go away completely, but it can get better. For a couple years I never even left my house except to be taken to therapy. Now, gradually I’m able to do things again, but still not alone. That is still to frightening to me. Are you on any medications to assist you? I’m on an antidepressant, anti-anxiety, and sleeping meds. For me anyway, they have helped a lot. If I have to do something particularly stressful, I double up on my anti-anxiety meds and that appears to make quite a difference. And just lately I find I’m a bit better about remembering directions to places and such. If my husband is taking me somewhere, or one of my daughters, I have been able to direct them if they don’t know where we are going. For a long time I couldn’t do that. So see, it can get better and you, or some part of your brain perhaps, appears to pick up the slack. I think of it as maybe something like someone who’s had a stroke and they have to relearn to do something with a different part of their brain than they used prior to the stroke? I like the fact that my family takes care of > me so well, but I feel so bad that It costs so much of there time(tears). To > ease my troubled soul I volunteer my time to give peer support to others.
That’s very good therapy for the others and for yourself too Geoff. Many of us have talked about how much better it makes us feel, to feel as if we are helping someone else. And many times those positive feelings will build on themselves to give us more of a sense of confidence in ourselves. As > my wife said to me once Geoff you have more friends than most and people > really like you. My mind says to me you’re a nutcase get used to it, people > would not like you if they knew you were sick.
Ah yes, another common feeling among many here. "If people knew the real me, the me inside, they wouldn’t like me." Some people might not, but those would be the ones you wouldn’t want for a real friend anyway. The people who really matter, those who really care about you, wouldn’t be dissuaded by a bit of fragmented thinking or confusion. Believe me, cause I know that for sure. Last year around this time one of my daughters and her friends took me away for a long weekend, knowing I hadn’t been away from my house in a number of years. They were all truly supportive of me, helped me, were very kind to me, and even invited me to go on another trip with ‘em. I said "you’re kidding!" "You guys don’t need me along to bother with!" And they replied "we loved having you with us, you are fun, no trouble at all, we all had a great time." So I guess what I’m trying to say is, try to not sell your friends short, they may just surprise you. We are a resilient bunch here, if nothing else. My therapist says ‘we had to be to survive’. :-) And remember what Jimmy Buffet said "if we weren’t all crazy we would go insane." This troubles me a great deal > because I can remember the days when I was flying as a well respected member > of the organization.Now I feel as nothing my wife says that those thoughts > are not true but it all seems real to me. Does anyone have any tricks or > methods that work for reminding them of what they have to do. I have tried > makinga list but I seem to forget to put everything on it. I’m starting > loose my thoughts so I will go now. Thank you for your listening ears.
Hehe, man can I relate to your last couple sentences. I too will go flying along and then suddenly, I’m zapped, the mind has overextended itself and sort of peter’s out. As for tips or hints, I try to slow down, slow my thinking down when I can see that I’m starting to really forget stuff. I try to stop, really think about what it is I need to do next, focus on it quite intently, so that when I turn around to do it, hopefully I won’t have forgotten what it is I was going to do. I’ll let some of the others give you some ideas, as I’ve about used my resources on thinking for a bit myself. If they don’t reply right away, be patient. Some of the ‘others’ have made themselves quite scarce here *because* of the troll problem. But there are more of us who all are kind and helpful. As Z said, we may not always agree on things, but the regulars here are respectful of one another. We’re a bit like brothers and sisters, we might bicker among our selves from time to time, but when push comes to shove, we pull together and stick up for one another. Welcome Geoff, best, td – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Geoff Harbinson > Trenton, Ontario, > Canada. > Winston Churchill was asked to give the address to the Graduating students > of Oxford University.. > He rose to his feet and said only six words He said "Never Never Never Never > give up" he then sat down to a long thunderous standing ovation. These > words have inspired me many times in the dark days we all know.
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We hope you can keep hanging on and benefit from the clinic. I don’t think it’s true they don’t care, just they’ve got a clumsy way of working with you. –M — "That, as we enjoy great advantages from the inventions of others, we should be glad of an opportunity to serve others by any inventions of ours; and this we should do freely and generously." — Benjamin Franklin 
we asked how he could say that when we still have 45 minutes flashback of dad or cousin sticking penis inside us while sitting there and can feel it happening and tearing up our insides as it gets forced in higher and higher. we asked what we were supposed to do about the flashback — his answer was once you get the skills you and the t will work on the ptsd stuff — until then you just have to sit with it…..for a year or so! "i know it is ’sucky’ but, at least you did not cut!" i wanted to tell him to go fuck himself — but he probably would 
p Diana (of the Moon) "Ethics be damned. We need more pens." 
