Question:
hi – my partner was diagnosed with PTSD about 2 years ago following a life threatening car crash and is only now beginning the process of getting medical and psychological support for it. we have known each other for about a year (since well after the accident) and he has until recently done an impressive job of hiding all his symptoms from me and the rest of the world. however, about a month ago his wall came crashing down and we realized that he was long overdue for help. he started meds (cipramil) over a month ago and will begin cognitive therapy next month (all psychiatrists in europe seem to take the entire summer off). so there is now the beginning of a structure in place to support him. for me this is a bit tough in terms of understanding how to react/what to do/ what not to do – not only because its new. he rollercoasters from motivation and a sense of strength that he is taking charge of his life to crushing, stay-in-bed, monosyllabic communication, bad headaches to emotionally numb withdrawal stare at the walls to disoriented mornings after nights of violent nightmares (though this last is not new). in most of these modes he is not able to make any decisions including is he hungry, is he tired, does he want to do X (he just says yes to everything) – or he is completely withdrawn. and in moments of clarity he says that there is nothing i can do except put my arms around him. he gets a bit better with a nap during the day, but other than that he seems to be subject to a lot of unkind and unpredictable forces beyond his control. my questions are basically what else can i do – or we do, outside of the hug thing which although nice still leaves me feeling totally helpless… and what kind of expectations can he/we have from therapy and drugs – and in what timeline? thanks, nan
Response:
Hi nan! > my partner was diagnosed with PTSD about 2 years ago following a life > threatening car crash and is only now beginning the process of getting > medical and psychological support for it.
—————-snip—————- > in moments of clarity he says that there is nothing i can do except > put my arms around him. he gets a bit better with a nap during the > day, but other than that he seems to be subject to a lot of unkind and > unpredictable forces beyond his control. > my questions are basically what else can i do – or we do, outside of > the hug thing which although nice still leaves me feeling totally > helpless…
1. Educate yourself about PTSD. One place to start is the FAQ at: http://www.astpfaq.bravepages.com/index.html 2. Believe him when he says he needs a hug. Hugs IME are very helpful and powerful against PTSD. > and what kind of expectations can he/we have from therapy > and drugs – and in what timeline?
‘No expectations’ is the best way to go IMO. IME some folks come out the other side rather quickly and others, like me, are still working on the ‘recovery’ bit after 14 years. It is very good that he only had 2 years before his ‘break’ IMO and that his break was in the new century, rather than the last. There is treatment available now; ‘before’ they used to drug us ‘to the gills’ and leave us in padded rooms for the rest of our lives. YMMV Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
Hello Nan, learning is important an absolute both for you and your partner, individual and group therapy in combination with medications seems to offer the most. If there is a womans support group in your area I would join, here in the States there is a vet.wives club as an example.I know they do a lot of good work and support for each other, try to find one in your area, I wish you the best of luck and happiness in all things, Stay Healthy, John De
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