Trauma – PTSD

Question:

Sigh…I dont know whom I’m crossing for but I’m crossed! ((((((((hugs)))))) Lorri

determine if she can have a psychiatrist treat her anxiety disorder. Hopefully you will see this reply of mine Lorri, seems every 4th post of mine disappears never to be seen again. Take care Jackie

Response:

He he…I got your response Jackie, but not Lorri’s post.  How wierd this has been this weekend…thanks to you guys for the support.  I don’t know when I will find out about the results, but I hope it’s today. Thing about it is if they don’t agree to this, and I don’t even know what the other stuff going on is…my atty sucks…then they have to set it to trial.  In some ways, after 9 months of fighting all this BS I am almost hoping it has to go to trial.  I might be a wreck waiting for court, and I may fall apart while testifying on the stand, but I gurantee you…no judge in their right mind wouldn’t see the difference and understand what has happened. I keep telling myself to write out the whole thing, but it really wouldn’t help anything…sad part is that no one cares.  This is being done completely based on some idea of fairness…but no one cares about the facts of the matter.  I was a VERY outgoing person….I was never still.  I hated being home for long times…I was always doing something.  I was very active as a volunteer for charity auctions and golf tournaments….I used to sing on weekends in front of TONS of people, loved to road trip for hours on end with no destination…then sleep in the back of our blazer if we didn’t end up surprising friends and staying with them.  Last year (late summer / early fall) we went for a road trip for our vacation…we filed up with gas and just drove….for about 5 or 6 days on end…we spent tons of time just going around to state parks and stuff.  I went cave exploring for the first time in my life…we planned to take a trip this year to Carlsbad so I could see REAL caves… All of these things were literally within MONTHS of the accident…not a lifetime ago!  Now you tell me, does that sound like someone who already had panic attacks?  That is what they tried to tell the court last hearing… I had always had some sort of anxiety/panic disorder and the accident just amplified it.  Don’t get me wrong…I have fought my share of demons…most of them self induced by demanding a lot of myself…but I don’t think having been treated for depression once before when I was having physical problems constitutes some pattern of mental problems.  Does anyone see what I mean? I know we all had lives before…I just get so aggrivated when they try so hard to deny that anything to do with almost dying in the prison that day could have any effect on my life…give me a break! Anyhow…enough venting…. I really do appreciate all of the support I get on here!  It makes things so much easier on me to know I am not nuts for having these feelings because of events out of my control.  I also have had a lot of trouble accepting the ’some days are better than others’ part….I really would get upset with myself when one day I could do whatever…go to the store, drive to the gas station, visit my mom….whatever…and the next day I couldn’t go get the mail!  It makes that seem so normal watching all of us go through the same struggles day to day. Thanks again! Robin

Response:

Thanks Jackie! determine if she can have a psychiatrist treat her anxiety disorder. Hopefully you will see this reply of mine Lorri, seems every 4th post of mine disappears never to be seen again. Take care Jackie

Lorri http://hometown.aol.com/lorr1/myhomepage4index.html

Response:

Hang in there-one day at a time so they say.   I can only imagine how tough what you are going thourgh is but you will be in my thoughts and hopes tomorrow.  Good luck and if things get really bad just come here and vent and we’ll try to help you through this.  Remember the old quote-"this too will pass".  Peace, Jeff

Response:

This whole work comp thing has been a joke.  It was first explained (before we got an attorney of course) that psychological aspects were not covered. Then after SEVEN dr’s diagnosed PTSD and PA’s from the incident…they finally got stuck with the bill.  It took a hearing for them to even get me started on treatment.  I was having to pay out my butt while off without pay to go to a psychologist and psychiatrist through my insurance…then they were made to take responsibility and they have faught everything since then. They sent me to the one psychologist they were SURE would side with them. He was a pain management specialist and he was their "second opinion"…that meant it was basically my last chance without a major ordeal for the court to listen and see there was a problem. Problem was that they chose a dr with a brain that didn’t usually handle cases like mine, but DID have experience in treatment of my problems.  There was no question in his mind what I was dealing with OR how it started.  I took pictures of myself before all this started.  Pictures of me cave exploring just last year….pictures of me at large charity functions I volunteered at until this hit.  He basically shot their theory (the one that said I had been like this for a long time, it just made it worse) to shit.  It was fun.  But since then they have refused EVERYTHING.  So their own dr (the one I just described) told them I needed a pdoc on my case, but they flat out refused.  They said that the psychologist should be handling that.  No matter what we said, they seem confused about that.  My primary doc has been refilling the scripts that the psychologist had set up when I was going through my insurance to keep me from being without the meds and having problems compounded by that.  Anyhow…they are having a little pissing match and it seems to be unending.  I even offered to settle last night, they figured it up and decided that 23% whole body disability was too much.  Funny, last time the court reviewed the case, they had said something about PERMANENT disability amounts already.  The court knows this doesn’t go away…but the idiots in charge of my case can’t figure out that they would have been doing a pretty good trick by getting me to try to settle this fast and without finishing all my treatment (what a joke).  I was planning on taking over the whole thing through insurance where at least I would have a choice in the matter.  But anyhow….we will see how tomorrow goes and how much stupider this thing is gonna get before I have some peace. Til morning…I hope…Goodnight all! Robin

Response:

is crossing fingers, arms, toes, and eyes. eddie

Response:

is crossing fingers, arms, toes, and eyes. eddie

Sigh…I dont know whom I’m crossing for but I’m crossed! ((((((((hugs)))))) Lorri http://hometown.aol.com/lorr1/myhomepage4index.html

Response:

Please let us know what happened Robin (when you find out, I mean)! Hugs, Di

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Well, everytime I come in here trying to get something done..I end up following along as people post on the ng.  UGH Anyhow..tomorrow is the court hearing (thank God I don’t have to be at it) where they decide whether or not my case needs a psychiatrist assigned.  You would think it was a no-brainer since they have accepted (actually been ordered by the court) the responsibility for my psych counseling and they pay for the meds… but they will fight until they can’t anymore I guess. Anyhow…wish me luck…I need it because something has to give with this thing because it is literally down to ‘wait for you to get better’ with the case, I don’t think they realize the fact is I won’t be CURED ever of the problems…just learn how to control them… But that is another vent. Anyhow…I am aggrivated with my "ex-wife-in-law" (otherwise known as the mother of my kids…LOL) and can’t even think straight.  I think I am going to turn off the puter until I can because I have this massive urge to unload about a conversation we just had and no one really cares….believe me…it isn’t even worth explaining.  She just tries to play "mommy power struggle" with me sometimes and I know she is full of shit…so I should just blow it off, but some days it isn’t easy.  So I think it is high time I went to the living room and just watch tv with my husband and be brainlessly happy for a while. I will probably check back in here in under an hour…but I will try to contain myself until morning so at least I won’t have that feeling of sitting watching for replies….I have literally gotten posts one or two at a time since I have been sitting on here so long.  I just read until the next one pops up…over and over.  I think I need a vacation…then again where would I go? LOL Can you tell I am tired? Robin Dear Robin, I will cross my fingers and whatever else crosses, for good luck!!! I can`t believe you need a hearing to get a pdoc, that is quite sad. Please let us know what happens. I hope it all works out for you!! {{{{{Robin}}}}} Jackie good luck robin donny

Response:

Robin- Good Luck today. Let us know how it went. My little brother worked for the Texas Dept. of Corrections. He was a line guard at death row in Huntsville. He is one of the toughest, meanest muthas’ you ever met – I mean he is BAADDDD. But the place tore him up – he quit and finished college at night. He is still tough, but he’s not mean anymore. That job really changes you. Personally, I’m glad you’re out of that line. I took a peek at your website – not bad. Have you ever considered getting into website development? You should consider getting CIW certified. Check here- http://www.netprotraining.com/ or at least getting I-Net+ certified: http://www.comptia.org Just a thought. Mike — Remove the xxx’s for correct email – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Well, everytime I come in here trying to get something done..I end up following along as people post on the ng.  UGH Anyhow..tomorrow is the court hearing (thank God I don’t have to be at it) where they decide whether or not my case needs a psychiatrist assigned. You would think it was a no-brainer since they have accepted (actually been ordered by the court) the responsibility for my psych counseling and they pay for the meds… but they will fight until they can’t anymore I guess. Anyhow…wish me luck…I need it because something has to give with this thing because it is literally down to ‘wait for you to get better’ with the case, I don’t think they realize the fact is I won’t be CURED ever of the problems…just learn how to control them… But that is another vent. Anyhow…I am aggrivated with my "ex-wife-in-law" (otherwise known as the mother of my kids…LOL) and can’t even think straight.  I think I am going to turn off the puter until I can because I have this massive urge to unload about a conversation we just had and no one really cares….believe me…it isn’t even worth explaining.  She just tries to play "mommy power struggle" with me sometimes and I know she is full of shit…so I should just blow it off, but some days it isn’t easy.  So I think it is high time I went to the living room and just watch tv with my husband and be brainlessly happy for a while. I will probably check back in here in under an hour…but I will try to contain myself until morning so at least I won’t have that feeling of sitting watching for replies….I have literally gotten posts one or two at a time since I have been sitting on here so long.  I just read until the next one pops up…over and over.  I think I need a vacation…then again where would I go? LOL Can you tell I am tired? Robin

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Well, everytime I come in here trying to get something done..I end up following along as people post on the ng.  UGH Anyhow..tomorrow is the court hearing (thank God I don’t have to be at it) where they decide whether or not my case needs a psychiatrist assigned.  You would think it was a no-brainer since they have accepted (actually been ordered by the court) the responsibility for my psych counseling and they pay for the meds… but they will fight until they can’t anymore I guess. Anyhow…wish me luck…I need it because something has to give with this thing because it is literally down to ‘wait for you to get better’ with the case, I don’t think they realize the fact is I won’t be CURED ever of the problems…just learn how to control them… But that is another vent. Anyhow…I am aggrivated with my "ex-wife-in-law" (otherwise known as the mother of my kids…LOL) and can’t even think straight.  I think I am going to turn off the puter until I can because I have this massive urge to unload about a conversation we just had and no one really cares….believe me…it isn’t even worth explaining.  She just tries to play "mommy power struggle" with me sometimes and I know she is full of shit…so I should just blow it off, but some days it isn’t easy.  So I think it is high time I went to the living room and just watch tv with my husband and be brainlessly happy for a while. I will probably check back in here in under an hour…but I will try to contain myself until morning so at least I won’t have that feeling of sitting watching for replies….I have literally gotten posts one or two at a time since I have been sitting on here so long.  I just read until the next one pops up…over and over.  I think I need a vacation…then again where would I go? LOL Can you tell I am tired? Robin

Hi (((Robin))), Sending you good thougts for tomorrow and saying a prayer as well. When Im tired things always bother me twice as bad. Hope your feeling better after a good rest. Love, Charla Before you buy.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Well, everytime I come in here trying to get something done..I end up following along as people post on the ng.  UGH Anyhow..tomorrow is the court hearing (thank God I don’t have to be at it) where they decide whether or not my case needs a psychiatrist assigned.  You would think it was a no-brainer since they have accepted (actually been ordered by the court) the responsibility for my psych counseling and they pay for the meds… but they will fight until they can’t anymore I guess. Anyhow…wish me luck…I need it because something has to give with this thing because it is literally down to ‘wait for you to get better’ with the case, I don’t think they realize the fact is I won’t be CURED ever of the problems…just learn how to control them… But that is another vent. Anyhow…I am aggrivated with my "ex-wife-in-law" (otherwise known as the mother of my kids…LOL) and can’t even think straight.  I think I am going to turn off the puter until I can because I have this massive urge to unload about a conversation we just had and no one really cares….believe me…it isn’t even worth explaining.  She just tries to play "mommy power struggle" with me sometimes and I know she is full of shit…so I should just blow it off, but some days it isn’t easy.  So I think it is high time I went to the living room and just watch tv with my husband and be brainlessly happy for a while. I will probably check back in here in under an hour…but I will try to contain myself until morning so at least I won’t have that feeling of sitting watching for replies….I have literally gotten posts one or two at a time since I have been sitting on here so long.  I just read until the next one pops up…over and over.  I think I need a vacation…then again where would I go? LOL Can you tell I am tired? Robin

Dear Robin, I will cross my fingers and whatever else crosses, for good luck!!! I can`t believe you need a hearing to get a pdoc, that is quite sad. Please let us know what happens. I hope it all works out for you!! {{{{{Robin}}}}} Jackie

Response:

Well, everytime I come in here trying to get something done..I end up following along as people post on the ng.  UGH Anyhow..tomorrow is the court hearing (thank God I don’t have to be at it) where they decide whether or not my case needs a psychiatrist assigned.  You would think it was a no-brainer since they have accepted (actually been ordered by the court) the responsibility for my psych counseling and they pay for the meds… but they will fight until they can’t anymore I guess. Anyhow…wish me luck…I need it because something has to give with this thing because it is literally down to ‘wait for you to get better’ with the case, I don’t think they realize the fact is I won’t be CURED ever of the problems…just learn how to control them… But that is another vent. Anyhow…I am aggrivated with my "ex-wife-in-law" (otherwise known as the mother of my kids…LOL) and can’t even think straight.  I think I am going to turn off the puter until I can because I have this massive urge to unload about a conversation we just had and no one really cares….believe me…it isn’t even worth explaining.  She just tries to play "mommy power struggle" with me sometimes and I know she is full of shit…so I should just blow it off, but some days it isn’t easy.  So I think it is high time I went to the living room and just watch tv with my husband and be brainlessly happy for a while. I will probably check back in here in under an hour…but I will try to contain myself until morning so at least I won’t have that feeling of sitting watching for replies….I have literally gotten posts one or two at a time since I have been sitting on here so long.  I just read until the next one pops up…over and over.  I think I need a vacation…then again where would I go? LOL Can you tell I am tired? Robin

Response:

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