Trauma – PTSD

Question:

Yes, I remember your sign-off line. I was on this ng a lot 3 years ago but have been off-line for a while.It was nice to see a name I recognised. I ‘ve been wondering what happened to some of the others whom I felt I had begun to know. Andy <ki…@cris.com> wrote in message

news:8do6ek$pl7@chronicle.concentric.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Andrew! > > Are you the same Nancy that was posting on this ng in 1997/98?. > I’m not sure when I started on this ng … time flies so much when I am having > such fun! > A while back there was another Nancy here, I think. > Geeze … do you gotta ask such difficult questions???  :) > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy

Response:

Hi Andy! >.It was nice to see a name I recognised.

Thanks. > I ‘ve been wondering what happened to some of the others whom I felt I had

begun to know. With PTSD our paths tend to wander during the search for a new way to live.  I am glad your path brought you back to the ng; maybe their paths will bring them back too! Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy

Response:

Actually, the main reason my path wandered was that my wife got custody of the computer, but seriously, I have sought a new way to live life and that , for me, has involved learning to start over again with life at the most basic levels, avoiding stress, eating properly, not drinking too much or misusing other drugs, getting more sleep , doing things which relax me and which give me satisfaction, however trivial they may be. I take special pleasure in being around nature and wild places; I feel more at ease with these things than I do with other people. Being an emotionally repressed Calvinist Scot means that I rarely speak about these things, so regard yourselves as privileged….com> wrote in message

news:8ebulg$ktv@chronicle.concentric.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Andy! > >.It was nice to see a name I recognised. > Thanks. > > I ‘ve been wondering what happened to some of the others whom I felt I had > begun to know. > With PTSD our paths tend to wander during the search for a new way to live.  I > am glad your path brought you back to the ng; maybe their paths will bring them > back too! > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy

Response:

Hi Andy! > I have sought a new way to live life and that , > for me, has involved learning to start over again with life at the most > basic levels, avoiding stress, eating properly, not drinking too much or > misusing other drugs, getting more sleep , doing things which relax me and > which give me satisfaction, however trivial they may be. I take special > pleasure in being around nature and wild places; I feel more at ease with > these things than I do with other people. Being an emotionally repressed > Calvinist Scot means that I rarely speak about these things, so regard > yourselves as privileged

Actually, reading your words above was like hearing an echo of my therapist’s continual admonitions for finding my own recovery path!  I’m glad to hear that it’s working for you! I can continually need confirmation that this path can work for PTSD people. It’s so simple to go the other direction, but Frost’s ‘the path less taken’ has been in the back of my mind since I found out that I have PTSD, that PTSD is treatable, and that, if I give as much time to PTSD recovery as I gave to its predecessor: PTSD survival, I, too, can have a comparatively ‘good life’. Thank you. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy

Response:

Are you the same Nancy that was posting on this ng in 1997/98?.

Response:

Nancy & Andrew, > > Are you the same Nancy that was posting on this ng in 1997/98?. > I’m not sure when I started on this ng … time flies so much when I am having > such fun!

YEP! !  It was you alright.  I remember well being greeted by you the summer of 97 when I first received my diagnosis.  Anything prior to July 4, 1997 I can’t vouch for <smile> Gary

Response:

Hi Gary & Andrew! > > > Are you the same Nancy that was posting on this ng in 1997/98?. > > I’m not sure when I started on this ng … time flies so much when I am having > > such fun! > YEP! !  It was you alright.  I remember well being greeted by you the summer of > 97 when I first received my diagnosis.  Anything prior to July 4, 1997 I can’t > vouch for <smile>

{Looking around with hypervigilance!!!  Danger, Danger!! says Robbie Robot in my head. {What did I do wrong?  How can I fix it?  Who do I manipulate to get out of this one?  How do I rearrange history so I’m not so afraid? {Terror erupts in my brain.  Why does he want to know?  How can I prevent anything ‘bad’ happening, now that I am caught? {Oh hell, where is dissociating when I need it?  I don’t remember ever writing to him before.  Did I make him angry?  Is this a trap? Guess I’m caught, Andrew  Is there some special reason you asked? Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy ps to other readers: Someone recently asked what PTSD ‘looks like’, and the above is an example.  This example is a single case internal conversation of someone who had untreated PTSD for about 25 years, and has now been in treatment with meds and therapy for about 10 years.  The cause of the PTSD is irrelevant in this situation, as it is in many situations in everyday living. There is no way to relate the body reactions that follow the internal conversation.  I do know that I had to remind myself to breathe more than once when typing.  My body muscles, especially my arms, went from calm to pain. If my above internal conversation reminds you of your own reactions, then we both know what so-called distorted thinking is all about.  Recovering for me means being able to see these reactions and know them as ‘over reacting’ to the situation. Where IS dissociating when I need it?  Some times I wish it were back in my head more regularly

Response:

Hey Nanc; You wrote me privately about a trip you are going to make down here to FL.  I cant find it. When are you going to be here?  I’m close to Tampa and Orlando…kinda in the middle of both. Best, Luanne http://members.aol.com/luannep/adoption.htm http://members.aol.com/luannemarie/capage2.htm

Response:

Hi Lu! I should be in your area in about 10 days, give or take.  As I get closer to Orlando, I will email you directly. I saw my therapist today, went over the horrors of the last five days, talked about the terrors of the next week … before I head south from IL. She said that it’s always fun to see me because I always am in the middle of ‘interesting stuff’.  Talk about  reformatting  /repositioning /redrawing /(what is the correct term??) reality statements!  I am terrified and she is trying to show me how much ‘fun’ I am having. Anyway, we agreed that it is important for me to not push on this trip and if I don’t get where I’m going, to not sweat it. Big help from her in deciding to take my cat with me!  :)  I love the phrase ‘therapeutically indicated’. I wish that I could do all the small stuff easily … I’ve struggled with the cat thing since Christmas. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy

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