Question:
Thanks for your post. I found myself relating to almost everything you said. I am on Paxil and currently undergoing treatment for PTSD, Anxiety Disorder and Clinical Depression. Before I discovered therapy and the mental health system, my treatment was composed mostly of lots of alcohol, lots of coffee and lots of cigarettes. Now the alcohol is gone but I doubt I will ever get rid of the latter. What else am I gonna do? People are so much less reliable than a pack of smokes and a cup of joe. Take care of yourself!
Response:
Hi there, Hang around for awhile and you will see how the group relates. The dynamics change often but there are a regular bunch who have been here for some years also. Lurking is as good as participating in my books when I find I haven’t the where with all to post or be supportive in the way I would like to be. Have a look at the FAQ too. Helski
Response:
"Z" <zw…@mendolink.com> wrote in message
news:3cd33b44$1_1@news.uncensored-news.com… > I have recently had an event which caused the anger and denial to come back. > My Step-Father mentally and emotionally scarred me for life. He also > physically abused me. He made me feel like a was nothing and that I would > always be nothing. Now the family will not evenown up to the fact that it > happened at all. Complete denial.
Hey Z, Please don’t look for the ‘family’ to ever own up. Doesn’t usually happen, in fact I don’t know of a single person here who’s family has ‘owned up’. I sympathize with where you are right now, been there. Eventually you’ll come to realize that you just can’t wait for them to own up, because they probably never will. After a time you learn to live with that fact. I think you’ll find when that aspect of it seems less important to you they probably won’t deny it quite as strenuously. Once I got to the point where my attitude became a more ‘piss on it’ towards them and their ‘fantasy past’ they became less defensive about the past. There was a time when I had to see and read everything I possibly could on anything to do with abuse, mental illness, the latest ‘heal yourself’ books, etc., but that too passed. It seemed as if I was always striving for something that I couldn’t quite attain, and left me feeling more depressed. I kind of realized that no matter how much knowledge I gathered I couldn’t change the hurt feelings inside. I used to think once I understood ‘why’ they were there……they’d go away, or at least ‘get better.’ But that didn’t work either. And it tended to make me more depressed also, thinking that knowing would ‘fix things’. And when it didn’t I felt bad once again. Now I just try to get from one hour to the next. I tend to be much more depressive than manic………..and I find I can fall very far very fast. I don’t slip into a depressive episode, I plunge. Glad you posted, you sound like many of us here. The most we can do for each other is ‘talk’ about what’s going on with ourselves. Sometimes people here have really good ideas for each other, sometimes we end up using a bit of dark humor, sometimes we are able to cheer each other up a bit. The thing about this group is most of us at least try to help each other limp forward. We can get a bit ‘testy’ sometimes, but i guess that’s a part of ptsd, so please hang around and post what ever you want. Best wishes, tiny dancer – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I am in therapy, and I am seeing a psychiatrist. I take Neurontin and > Wellbutrin. I am also a manic-depressive, heavy on the depression at times, > but right now I am very manic. > I saw a program on TV last night about multiple personality disorder. The > program was about how the brain dealt with extreme trauma. All were badly > abused to the extremes. I was never abused like that, but I had all the > rest. I became an alcoholic to try to deal with the feelings. Thank God I am > sober! > I am feeling very out of sorts right now. I guess I just needed to put it > out to people who know something of what I am talking about. When these > feelings come up, I feel very insecure. As I told my wife, this is the time > I would be drinking if I wasn’t sober. So what am I doing instead? Drinkng > lots of coffee. I know that coffee is not he best thing for me right now, > but at least I don’t get arrested, or shame myself like I do with drugs and > alcohol. > I just am finding it really hard to cope with the feelings that I am having > right now. > So there it is. > I apologize deeply if I have offended or triggered anyone. > Z > ______________________________________________________________________ > Posted Via Uncensored-News.Com – Still Only $9.95 –
http://www.uncensored-news.com – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> <><><><><><><> The Worlds Uncensored News Source <><><><><><><><>
Response:
I have recently had an event which caused the anger and denial to come back. My Step-Father mentally and emotionally scarred me for life. He also physically abused me. He made me feel like a was nothing and that I would always be nothing. Now the family will not evenown up to the fact that it happened at all. Complete denial. I am in therapy, and I am seeing a psychiatrist. I take Neurontin and Wellbutrin. I am also a manic-depressive, heavy on the depression at times, but right now I am very manic. I saw a program on TV last night about multiple personality disorder. The program was about how the brain dealt with extreme trauma. All were badly abused to the extremes. I was never abused like that, but I had all the rest. I became an alcoholic to try to deal with the feelings. Thank God I am sober! I am feeling very out of sorts right now. I guess I just needed to put it out to people who know something of what I am talking about. When these feelings come up, I feel very insecure. As I told my wife, this is the time I would be drinking if I wasn’t sober. So what am I doing instead? Drinkng lots of coffee. I know that coffee is not he best thing for me right now, but at least I don’t get arrested, or shame myself like I do with drugs and alcohol. I just am finding it really hard to cope with the feelings that I am having right now. So there it is. I apologize deeply if I have offended or triggered anyone. Z ______________________________________________________________________ Posted Via Uncensored-News.Com – Still Only $9.95 – http://www.uncensored-news.com <><><><><><><> The Worlds Uncensored News Source <><><><><><><><>
Response:
Hi Z! First: welcome to our little corner of usenet. I’m sorry that you seem to qualify. > I saw a program on TV last night about multiple personality disorder.
I saw the promo and considered watching the program. The I remembered that I am supposed to be kind to myself … I decided that it would _not_ be kind for me to probably retrigger myself by watching the program. There are a lot of things that I choose to _not_ know now that I am in PTSD treatment; hypervigilance is not always a blessing. I am sorry that you made the choice to watch the program if it triggered you. > I became an alcoholic to try to deal with the feelings. Thank God I am > sober!
The choice to remain sober, instead of self-medicating with alcohol, is an excellent choice IMO. > I am feeling very out of sorts right now.
———— snip —————- > I just am finding it really hard to cope with the feelings that I am having > right now.
We all have this problem IMO when we are not kind to ourselves and don’t avoid triggers. :/ YMMV Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
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