Question:
I see I’m being >literally _told_ when to speak and when not to now, when all I would say is >sorry >Lu had to go through what I have been through in the past and I know that it >is >not nice and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I object to being _told_ what to >not >say and when not to say it, I really feel then that I’m at home with my >parents or >something – you know, do what
Scott: It is very difficult for me because Renee and Sally are involved in every single thread. I guess I am raging way too much, but I cannot relate to somebody who has absolutely no idea of my degree of suffering. As I have said in the past, if I do not take my meds, I am suicidal. Renee will find out herself when she fights for her disability that they will ‘lowball’ her for not being on meds. With the VA, I don’t know if people are low-balled more often or what, but I do know that I had a two-year battle while being on 3-4 kinds of different meds. Even WITH the meds, I still have suicidal ideations and huge problems getting along with others. The mood swings are a nightmare from Hell, and sometimes, a couple people on here trigger me. Scott, you have a GREAT way of saying things and I do agree with you 100%. My feeling is that it is hard for me to get my emotions/feelings out when the same two people are constantly and non-stop ‘butting in’ when they have not/appeared to have not walked in my shoes. I wish I could make a kill file with AOL but I cannot do this, therefore, I am stuck reading the same old crap from the same two people who I intensely do not care for and trigger me. Only this morning, I asked PLEASE Sally and Renee, do not respond to my post. Sally did anyway. I am beginning to wonder if she even has a husband or a school life because she is on the computer 24/7. Hell, I am off my rocker half the time and still do not post/reply to every little thing that everybody says. I don’t want people thinking that I am a ‘know-it-all’ though I do believe I do know a little more about severe cases of PTSD than others do. And no, I do not have a Onelist any longer. Sally was going off-topic so much that I ended up closing the list down. It isn’t just on my list either, according to what I heard from a friend when she began discussing ‘tooth brushes’ on another PTSD-related list. Best to you, Luanne
Response:
>I can’t sit back and watch myself trounced anymore.
I’ve asked you time and time again not to respond to my posts, yet you continue to do so. At least Renee seems to respect that. Why do you feel that you must get in on every single thread that I am involved in especially when I clearly ask you not to respond? Please stop. That is all I ask from you. Leave me alone. Your input does not help me in the very least. All that I see is somebody who has nothing better to do than post to a PTSD newsgroup. You say you have PTSD, yet you receive no type of treatment and are on here to ‘help’ others??? Just back off me. Please respect me and do not respond to anymore of my posts, if you are any kind of person at all. Luanne
Response:
Hi folks! > I’m sick of being trounced, I > deserve to defend myself against this kind of stuff.
Yes, I am entitled to defend myself against ‘this kind of stuff’. But … The real question is: DO I need to defend myself, or am I good enough as I am? No one has the right to judge another person, especially in a PTSD environment. Judging others and recovery are two ends of the spectrum for me. When I judge others, then I am NOT working on my own recovery; usually, I am seeking a distraction from my own pain. After ‘judging’ comes ‘control’. No one has the right to control another person, especially in a PTSD environment. Trying to control another person is a distraction from trying to control myself. I need to work on myself for my recovery and working on myself can be painful. If I distract myself with trying to control other people, my pain goes underground because I am distracted from it. Creating chaos around me is one of the hallmarks of PTSD attempts at controlling others. I choose to NOT play that game … it can be a killer! Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy P.S. > > I am beginning to wonder if she even has a husband or a school life because she > > is on the computer 24/7.
This is no one else’s business than hers. Judging another by my standards is WRONG! > > though I do believe I do know a little more about severe cases of PTSD than > > others do.
A distorted thinking process is symptomatic of PTSD. > > Sally was going off-topic so much that I ended > > up closing the list down.
Sounds to me like ‘frustration at an unsuccessful attempt to control’ moved to ‘vindictiveness’. 
Wasn’t there … just an observation. > > when she began discussing ‘tooth brushes’ on another PTSD-related list.
So what? Judging another by my standards is WRONG!
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