Question:
nothing bad has ever really happened to me. i have always felt respected and loved by my family. i have always been told that i am valuable. maybe that means i feel ’small’ slights strongly. at the last place i worked, at my leaving ‘do’, i found out that three guys, all three of whom i considered good friends, had 1 ton bets on which of them would get to sleep with me. that’s insulting right? that’s how i felt with that stupid ‘ranking’ post. probably, i should just let it slide. and about the bet? what made it even more stupid, was that one of the guys i had a really big crush on. he could have swept up 200 quid off the other guys no problem if he would have just responded to my flirtations. i’m glad now that he didn’t though. imagine what i would have felt like then.
Response:
Good to hear Jaz….It is my understanding that wellbutrin is the drug of choice in the US for treating PSTD… but I could be mistaken.. Nancy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – used to jump at any loud or unexpected noises wether I knew they were coming or not. Nancy i *wish* i could try wellbutrin, i just have this feeling that it would be _the_one_ for me. i jump at everything. the doorbell ringing, brad laughing unexpectedly at the tv, everything. anna xxx Me too. I’ve heard it’s from my post traumatic, and others have said it’s from ADD. I guess i just have it double. my ex used to make fun of me when he would walk in the room and i would jump. he would say "who else did you expect to be here"? i dunno, but it still scared me. I take wellbutrin…and actually i think it IS better now. j
Response:
used to jump at any loud or unexpected noises wether I knew they were coming or not. Nancy i *wish* i could try wellbutrin, i just have this feeling that it would be _the_one_ for me. i jump at everything. the doorbell ringing, brad laughing unexpectedly at the tv, everything.
Can you import your own medications? In Canada and the US people can import medications that aren’t under certain schedules of the narcotics and food and drug acts provided the medication is prescribed by a physician. Here in Canada even a foreign prescription is good. Most of the non-conterfeit, non-veterinary steroids that bodybuilders and athletes take are from Greek and Bulgarian prescriptions. Here in Canada, we really do have a problem with athletes on ‘roids.
Response:
i *wish* i could try wellbutrin, i just have this feeling that it would be _the_one_ for me. i jump at everything. the doorbell ringing, brad laughing unexpectedly at the tv, everything. Can you import your own medications? In Canada and the US people can import medications that aren’t under certain schedules of the narcotics and food and drug acts provided the medication is prescribed by a physician.
in the uk, drugs which fall under a certain ‘class’ are banned, illegal. apparently, they’ve decided that wellbutrin falls in the same class as i think speed, which makes it illegal. also, i would be scared to medicate myself without the supposed support and expertise of a pdoc. even though i still make most of the meds decisions myself, i still like to run them by him. apparently, wellbutrin isn’t licensed for prescription in canada either, at least, it wasn’t a year ago. and in britain, because it falls in this ‘banned’ class of drugs, they won’t even look at it for licensing. gah. anna xxx
Response:
There are some psychs looking at the idea of Prolonged Duress Stress Syndrome, PDSS. They claim it has the same symptoms as PTSD. There is a paper where the author writes that prolonged suicidal ideation can cause the symptoms. I forget the name.
*in*teresting. ‘prolonged suicidal ideation’. that sounds like me. do you know what the symptoms are? anna xxx
Response:
There are some psychs looking at the idea of Prolonged Duress Stress Syndrome, PDSS. They claim it has the same symptoms as PTSD. There is a paper where the author writes that prolonged suicidal ideation can cause the symptoms. I forget the name. *in*teresting. ‘prolonged suicidal ideation’. that sounds like me. do you know what the symptoms are?
Exact same profile as for PTSD, all the symptoms, just not the presence of history of traumatic incident, instead there is a history of prolonged duress of any sort. One thing though, triggers can supposedly give clues to what the prolonged stressors were. Just as they do for PTSD when memory is repressed or otherwise altered as protective measure of consciousness. Tonight, after midnight (free connection time) I will search up on it if I remember.
Response:
in the uk, drugs which fall under a certain ‘class’ are banned, illegal. apparently, they’ve decided that wellbutrin falls in the same class as i think speed, which makes it illegal. also, i would be scared to medicate myself without the supposed support and expertise of a pdoc. even though i still make most of the meds decisions myself, i still like to run them by him. apparently, wellbutrin isn’t licensed for prescription in canada either, at least, it wasn’t a year ago. and in britain, because it falls in this ‘banned’ class of drugs, they won’t even look at it for licensing.
The UK problem with drugs related to amphetamines, cathinones, ephedrines, etc. is a product of poorly written laws, ignorance of chemistry on the part of lawmakers, and a reluctance of lawmakers to refine the schedules as well as of physicians, pharmacologists, pharmacists and even the drug companies to lobby and campaign for improvement, like they don’t want to get any politician’s knickers in a twist or something.
Response:
On one hand it is possible to have ptsd without having been through socially recognized traumatic upheavals such as abuse, violence etc. I would imagine a lot depends on ones personal predisposition towards everyday life situations. On the other hand it does seem to be the latest buzz word doing the rounds here in the UK, I guess it offers a panacea for all ills, but please don’t dismiss it as absurd because it may be possible. I was diagnosed as having ptsd and was told that treatment through counseling rather than medication alone achieves excellent results.
What kind of counseling? I mean… will it ease the memories, keep them at bay? Or let them out at a more bearable pace? Or get them out of my head?
Response:
in the uk, drugs which fall under a certain ‘class’ are banned, illegal. apparently, they’ve decided that wellbutrin falls in the same class as i think speed, which makes it illegal. also,
good lord. speed? doesn’t do that for me…. jaz
Response:
Dureena wrote in article : : What kind of counseling? I mean… will it ease the memories, keep them : at bay? Or let them out at a more bearable pace? Or get them out of my : head? You’re asking one seriously difficult question and there’s no way I can offer an answer. All I know is from personal experience and that is, that PTSD is generally associated with events that have generated considerable upheaval and stress, and because of that we don’t see the events or our role as they truly happened and therefore an erroneous image gets branded into our minds. With our interpretation of what happened and the part we played in the whole chain of events, counseling often redresses those issues and attempts to break down those often misappropriated beliefs and forces you to look at everything again and again and again until you begin to see what ‘actually’ happened as opposed to what you (or others) have conditioned yourself to believe. As counseling progresses the knots get untied and unnecessary baggage gets jettisoned and eventually all the associated crap (guilt, obsessive thoughts, recurring dreams and nightmares) will subside. Medication is often prescribed to alleviate those obsessive thoughts and nightmares. This is just one facet of many, sorry I can’t offer more. I’m sure many people here can write about another aspect of PTSD. Michael
Response:
Dureena wrote in article : : What kind of counseling? I mean… will it ease the memories, keep them : at bay? Or let them out at a more bearable pace? Or get them out of my : head? You’re asking one seriously difficult question and there’s no way I can offer an answer. All I know is from personal experience and that is, that PTSD is generally associated with events that have generated considerable upheaval and stress, and because of that we don’t see the events or our role as they truly happened and therefore an erroneous image gets branded into our minds.
No, it happenned… and the pictures in the papers and on the news show what I remember….. With our interpretation of what happened and the part we played in the whole chain of events,
I played no part. I was simply there. I saw, I saw I saw. counseling often redresses those issues and attempts to break down those often misappropriated beliefs and forces you to look at everything again and again and again until you begin to see what ‘actually’ happened as opposed to what you (or others) have conditioned yourself to believe. As counseling progresses the knots get untied and unnecessary baggage gets jettisoned and eventually all the associated crap (guilt, obsessive thoughts, recurring dreams and nightmares) will subside.
It’s only recently I started feeling guilty for my feelings… what right do I have to feel this way? I wasn’t seriously hurt, nothing more than a scratch really…. no one close to me died…. Medication is often prescribed to alleviate those obsessive thoughts and nightmares. This is just one facet of many, sorry I can’t offer more. I’m sure many people here can write about another aspect of PTSD. Michael
Thanks. 
Response:
I have to agree that PTSD is most problably dependent upon your everyday reactions to life. What could be devastating to you might be just a fly in the ointment to me. I do suffer from PTSD and have had very good results with Wellbutrin.. no more nightmares… well at least not often anyway… and the jumpiness is gone… used to jump at any loud or unexpected noises wether I knew they were coming or not. Nancy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – On one hand it is possible to have ptsd without having been through socially recognized traumatic upheavals such as abuse, violence etc. There are some psychs looking at the idea of Prolonged Duress Stress Syndrome, PDSS. They claim it has the same symptoms as PTSD. There is a paper where the author writes that prolonged suicidal ideation can cause the symptoms. I forget the name.
Response:
On one hand it is possible to have ptsd without having been through socially recognized traumatic upheavals such as abuse, violence etc.
There are some psychs looking at the idea of Prolonged Duress Stress Syndrome, PDSS. They claim it has the same symptoms as PTSD. There is a paper where the author writes that prolonged suicidal ideation can cause the symptoms. I forget the name.
Response:
Hi Anna, : nothing bad has ever really happened to me. i have always felt respected : and loved by my family. i have always been told that i am valuable. : maybe that means i feel ’small’ slights strongly. On one hand it is possible to have ptsd without having been through socially recognized traumatic upheavals such as abuse, violence etc. I would imagine a lot depends on ones personal predisposition towards everyday life situations. On the other hand it does seem to be the latest buzz word doing the rounds here in the UK, I guess it offers a panacea for all ills, but please don’t dismiss it as absurd because it may be possible. I was diagnosed as having ptsd and was told that treatment through counseling rather than medication alone achieves excellent results. : at the last place i worked, at my leaving ‘do’, i found out that three : guys, all three of whom i considered good friends, had 1 ton bets on : which of them would get to sleep with me. that’s insulting right? that’s : how i felt with that stupid ‘ranking’ post. probably, i should just let : it slide. Yes you should, after all it’s not just boys that place bets on who beds who I’m going to climb onto my high moral horse and say personally I detest such behavior but I too am learning to accept that people are rather sad as to how they obtain their kicks. : and about the bet? what made it even more stupid, was that one of the : guys i had a really big crush on. he could have swept up 200 quid off : the other guys no problem if he would have just responded to my : flirtations. i’m glad now that he didn’t though. imagine what i would : have felt like then. If it had happened, there’s no ill bearing upon you Anna. All the best Michael
Response:
used to jump at any loud or unexpected noises wether I knew they were coming or not. Nancy
i *wish* i could try wellbutrin, i just have this feeling that it would be _the_one_ for me. i jump at everything. the doorbell ringing, brad laughing unexpectedly at the tv, everything. anna xxx
Response:
used to jump at any loud or unexpected noises wether I knew they were coming or not. Nancy i *wish* i could try wellbutrin, i just have this feeling that it would be _the_one_ for me. i jump at everything. the doorbell ringing, brad laughing unexpectedly at the tv, everything. anna xxx
Me too. I’ve heard it’s from my post traumatic, and others have said it’s from ADD. I guess i just have it double. my ex used to make fun of me when he would walk in the room and i would jump. he would say "who else did you expect to be here"? i dunno, but it still scared me. I take wellbutrin…and actually i think it IS better now. j
Response:
Dureena wrote in article : What kind of counseling? I mean… will it ease the memories, keep them : at bay? Or let them out at a more bearable pace? Or get them out of my : head? You’re asking one seriously difficult question and there’s no way I can offer an answer. All I know is from personal experience and that is, that PTSD is generally associated with events that have generated considerable upheaval and stress, and because of that we don’t see the events or our role as they truly happened and therefore an erroneous image gets branded into our minds. No, it happenned… and the pictures in the papers and on the news show what I remember…..
Michael isn’t saying it didn’t happen; he means, I think, that our memories are not quite accurate. I am wondering if you remember exactly what you experienced, or do you remember more what you saw in the papers and on the news reports. With our interpretation of what happened and the part we played in the whole chain of events, I played no part. I was simply there. I saw, I saw I saw.
But what you saw, how your memory recorded the events, *there* is where PTSD can "edit" your memories. It’s only recently I started feeling guilty for my feelings… what right do I have to feel this way? I wasn’t seriously hurt, nothing more than a scratch really…. no one close to me died….
Survivor’s guilt. When other people suffered so much, and you came out relatively unscathed, what right have you to feel that way? BTW, *I* think that you have every right to respond to *your* experience in whatever way your body and psyche happen to respond. I think sometimes that people who have suffered greatly and survived against great odds are in some ways luckier than those who were barely scratched. At least they don’t have to justify the fact they suffered. There is clear, objective evidence that they were hurt. Those of us who were hurt, but don’t have the scars to prove it, we just get to suffer without people giving two shits about it. You were there. You saw what happened. You were hurt by what you saw. You were hurt by what you could not do to help others. You were hurt because you survived with little or no injury. You were hurt because you faced no serious losses. You were hurt. Tara Ballance Montreal, Canada
Response:
What right do I have to cry all the time over this?
All the right there is. Thing is though, to get to where you are no longer crying all the time. Could take awhile, keep at it. Were you ok after you wrote this here? Like, how did you feel right after?
Response:
There’s no way that such an incident could be witnessed without it having a serious effect unless you’re hardened or inhuman. What you witnessed would be regarded as a classic example of an incident enough to traumatize someone to the point of suffering ptsd (or shell shock). The guilt thing of "why them and not me?" yet again is classical in it’s manifestations. The one thing I have to ask is, are you talking to someone professional about this? If so are things progressing in a *productive* manner? If not, may I ask why not? Michael PS. Thanks for writing, I can only begin to imagine how difficult this must have been.
Response:
If it’s not to painful, could you say what actually happened? Please don’t worry if you can’t Michael
What follows is something I first mentioned almost a year ago….. I’ve been remember more this year, too much more…and what I say may be a bit rambling in places because I haven’t remember everything yet, and what I have been remembering has been remembered in the sequence that it happened. Certain things have triggered the memeories this year, inclucing a TV movie shown last May, an appeal of the shooter’s conviction, and Carolyn Mc Carthy being re-elected to Congress. WARNING: what I am describing many people cannot handle hearing about, this is a fraigle group at times…. ****** appear when the horror begins…… One of the favorite things I used to do was to take a train into Manhattan and go to museums. On December 7, 1993, I went into Manhatten and met a friend that worked in Rockefeller Center for lunch then spent a lovely afternoon at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. When I got to Penn Station to catch a train home, I got on an express train on the Hicksville branch, this meant I would be home by 6:00 pm. The 5:33 was about to pull out, so I ran into the car that was closest to the stairs I had just run down… the third car. It was a rush hour train, and I had to stand at the back of the car near the doors, I spent the trip staring out the door windows at the darkness. As the train crossed the border between Queens and Nassau counties, I heard some popping noises…. I looked to where the sounds were coming from…. I saw a man walking down the aisle pointing a semi automatic at people and firing…. I saw a man with his brain splattered, blood dripping from the windows…. blood on the floor, people were trying to get away…. there was no place to go….. one man ran to where I was, he had been shot in the arm, I saw his muscle and bone through the hole in his coat….there was more blood on the floor, people couldn’t get away they slipped in the pools of blood on the floor…. they were shot as they tried to crawl under, hide behind the seats… there was blood everywhere…. and I don’t remember how this next part happened…. but I came to on the floor, choking because I couldn’t breath, like I was drowning, I was choking on all the blood on the floor, I could still hear the gunshots…. there was someone nest to me with eyes that were dying… they reached out touched my face…. I can still feel the sticky blood covered hand touching me…. Then I remember seeing an odd reflection of myself… I was standing up, my reflection was all silvery and warped…. I had blood all over me…(I know now that this was a reflection of me from the outside of the train after it was all over). I was in an ambulance, my head was bleeding, and I was so covered in blood, it was thought I was seriously wounded…. the other person in the ambulance had a hole in their chest….. A few hours later, people I knew met me at the hospital. This confused me, I hadn’t called them, nor had I told anyone at the hospital to call them. A local TV station had a camera crew nearby when the train pulled into the station, it was there with the ambulances…there some nice, clear shots of people being taken off the train that were shown on the news…. I’ve seen the film of me… I am standing on the station platform, an EMT talks to me, I turn and answer and am walked to the ambulance. I’ve seen this film more than once… it’s definately me… and I remember none of it. As I said in an earlier post… it’s only this year that I"ve started to feel guilt…. Carolyn Mc Carthy was widowed and her son had part of his brain shot out…. she lost much more than I did. What right do I have to cry all the time over this?
Response:
I played no part. I was simply there. I saw, I saw I saw.
That’s all it takes, just seeing. Makes me wonder about the effects of television and motion picture violence. I suppose there is the presence of disbelief in fiction or awareness of time, that the story seen is past, the sense of story too comes with an essential lack of immanence, maybe that provides ample protection for what is witnessed on the screens of moving images.
Response:
If it’s not to painful, could you say what actually happened? Please don’t worry if you can’t Michael
Response:
in the uk, drugs which fall under a certain ‘class’ are banned, illegal. apparently, they’ve decided that wellbutrin falls in the same class as i think speed, which makes it illegal. also, good lord. speed? doesn’t do that for me….
They do it by chemical and similar structures, salts and halides and all the isomers and just about everything else they could think of. Bupropion is related to cathinone which is related to methcathinone, like, they share similar precursor chemicals, so they are deemed illegal by previous decree, even drugs that didn’t exist before the law was written. There are similar errors in drug and narcotic laws in other countries but I’ve read that the British one concerning stimulant chemicals is the very worst example.
Response:
As I said in an earlier post… it’s only this year that I"ve started to feel guilt…. Carolyn Mc Carthy was widowed and her son had part of his brain shot out…. she lost much more than I did. What right do I have to cry all the time over this?
You were there. It could have been *you* killed, or *you* wounded so terribly. Yes, she lost more than you did, but she did not live through this horror. You have all the right in the world to cry all the time over this. You were there. Tara Ballance Montreal, Canada
Response:
What follows is something I first mentioned almost a year ago…..
(((((Dureena))))) (((((Dureena))))) (((((Dureena))))) (((((Dureena))))) (((((Dureena))))) Tara Ballance Montreal, Canada
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