Trauma – PTSD

Question:

I have a problem. In October of 2001, I made a suicide attempt. I landed myself in the emergency room where I was an inpatient for 2 days, kept for Aspirin detox. Upon entering the hospital and throughout my stay, I lied and said it was an accident that I had ingested somewhere near 30 Aspirin in a timespan of about ten hours. I didn’t let anyone know it was an attempt on my life. They told me I was "lucky," because they didn’t expect me to live. They said if I had waited any longer to get to the hospital, I most likely would have died. Those were the scariest days of my life, and the worst part… I was only 13 years old. Since my stay in the hospital, I have endured 3 months of therapy for depression and have found ways to deal with it on my own(no meds). It’s no longer a predominant problem for me. However, because I lied about my attempt, I never recieved any therapy for it. A year and a half later, I still lose myself in the memories of those couple days. Many times a week, I find myself in a glazed over state, remembering, and then suddenly crying over it. It comes up constantly in my life, and I can’t even hear the words "hospital" or "aspirin" or anything in relation to suicide without more flashbacks, or giving in to an involuntary shudder. A friend of mine told me to look up PTSD on the web…and the symptoms sound frighteningly familiar. Please, I’m only 15, and these memories are truly inhibiting much of my life. I need some help. Is there anyone out there who can give me some guidance, or let me know what might be going on? Is this PTSD that I’m experiencing? Someone please respond–I would really appreciate some feedback. Thanks. ~Kristie

Response:

Kristie: I am certainly no expert, in the middle of my own personal hell, but have you talked with your therapist about this (forgive me if I misunderstood you) You really need professional help dealing with the flashbacks/bad associations. I consider you lucky to be alive. Hope this helps, please post again. mike Kristie –plz help <kristie_…@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:f1f3634a.0302181637.409d197@posting.google.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I have a problem. In October of 2001, I made a suicide attempt. I > landed myself in the emergency room where I was an inpatient for 2 > days, kept for Aspirin detox. Upon entering the hospital and > throughout my stay, I lied and said it was an accident that I had > ingested somewhere near 30 Aspirin in a timespan of about ten hours. I > didn’t let anyone know it was an attempt on my life. They told me I > was "lucky," because they didn’t expect me to live. They said if I had > waited any longer to get to the hospital, I most likely would have > died. Those were the scariest days of my life, and the worst part… I > was only 13 years old. > Since my stay in the hospital, I have endured 3 months of therapy for > depression and have found ways to deal with it on my own(no meds). > It’s no longer a predominant problem for me. However, because I lied > about my attempt, I never recieved any therapy for it. A year and a > half later, I still lose myself in the memories of those couple days. > Many times a week, I find myself in a glazed over state, remembering, > and then suddenly crying over it. It comes up constantly in my life, > and I can’t even hear the words "hospital" or "aspirin" or anything in > relation to suicide without more flashbacks, or giving in to an > involuntary shudder. A friend of mine told me to look up PTSD on the > web…and the symptoms sound frighteningly familiar. > Please, I’m only 15, and these memories are truly inhibiting much of > my life. I need some help. Is there anyone out there who can give me > some guidance, or let me know what might be going on? Is this PTSD > that I’m experiencing? Someone please respond–I would really > appreciate some feedback. Thanks. > ~Kristie

Response:

hi, Kristie. Have you tried help at your local school or community? There is help out that and it has to be kept confidential! Have you dealt with the original problem of why you took all those pills in the first place?  maybe that’s what’s really bothering you but the only one who knows the answers is you. there is help out there and I truly hope you find it.  You are so young and have much to look forward to with the right help. Donna : I have a problem. In October of 2001, I made a suicide attempt. I : landed myself in the emergency room where I was an inpatient for 2 : days, kept for Aspirin detox. Upon entering the hospital and : throughout my stay, I lied and said it was an accident that I had : ingested somewhere near 30 Aspirin in a timespan of about ten hours. I : didn’t let anyone know it was an attempt on my life. They told me I : was "lucky," because they didn’t expect me to live. They said if I had : waited any longer to get to the hospital, I most likely would have : died. Those were the scariest days of my life, and the worst part… I : was only 13 years old. : : Since my stay in the hospital, I have endured 3 months of therapy for : depression and have found ways to deal with it on my own(no meds). : It’s no longer a predominant problem for me. However, because I lied : about my attempt, I never recieved any therapy for it. A year and a : half later, I still lose myself in the memories of those couple days. : Many times a week, I find myself in a glazed over state, remembering, : and then suddenly crying over it. It comes up constantly in my life, : and I can’t even hear the words "hospital" or "aspirin" or anything in : relation to suicide without more flashbacks, or giving in to an : involuntary shudder. A friend of mine told me to look up PTSD on the : web…and the symptoms sound frighteningly familiar. : : Please, I’m only 15, and these memories are truly inhibiting much of : my life. I need some help. Is there anyone out there who can give me : some guidance, or let me know what might be going on? Is this PTSD : that I’m experiencing? Someone please respond–I would really : appreciate some feedback. Thanks. : : ~Kristie

Response:

Hi Kristie! > I have a problem.

                —————snipped for brevity—————- > Please, I’m only 15, and these memories are truly inhibiting much of > my life. I need some help. Is there anyone out there who can give me > some guidance, or let me know what might be going on? Is this PTSD > that I’m experiencing? Someone please respond–I would really > appreciate some feedback. Thanks.

Only a psychiatrist or therapist can begin to start the diagnosis of PTSD. And, if you cannot trust the psychiatrist or therapist enough to be open and honest with the person, then you cannot be diagnosed … at least to your knowledge. Find a professional with whom you can have a slightly trusting relationship, and try to tell them the truth about your attempted suicide.  There is no shame in attempting suicide; it is just an outward cry for help.  IMO the shame would have been if you had actually committed suicide, trying to punish those around you who had hurt you so badly.  The ‘bad’ people do not get punished by us; it is not our job. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy

Response:

Hi Kristie, Welcome. I am sorry about what you’ve been through and hope that you will find a good therapist or counselor at school with whom you can start to do some work to help you deal with all the stresses you are experiencing now. It took a few tries before I got a correct diagnosis of PTSD.  I found a good therapist and a good psychiatrist at a hospital, both of whom had done a lot of work with Vietnam Vets.  Once I got a correct diagnosis I started to get the help I needed.  It has taken me a lot of years of work but I do know that it is possible to function in this troubled world and to move forward with help. Good luck, Kristie.  You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, Anne on the prairie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Please, I’m only 15, and these memories are truly inhibiting much of >my life. I need some help. Is there anyone out there who can give me >some guidance, or let me know what might be going on? Is this PTSD >that I’m experiencing? Someone please respond–I would really >appreciate some feedback. Thanks. >~Kristie

Response:

"Kristie –plz help" <kristie_…@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:f1f3634a.0302181637.409d197@posting.google.com… > I have a problem. In October of 2001, I made a suicide attempt. [snip] > and the worst part… I was only 13 years old. > [snip] > Please, I’m only 15, and these memories are truly inhibiting much of > my life. I need some help. Is there anyone out there who can give me > some guidance, or let me know what might be going on? Is this PTSD > that I’m experiencing? Someone please respond–I would really > appreciate some feedback. Thanks. > ~Kristie

    There’s no way for us to know, Kristie, without a medical professional’s help in diagnosing your symptoms. On the surface, yes, in my non-professional opinion, I think it is possible you suffer from PTSD or a closely related disorder. But I am NOT A DOCTOR! I do understand about you lying about the truth of your suicide attempt, but that lie has helped keep you from getting the treatment you may really need to help yourself. You don’t mention this, but if you attend church fairly regularly you may find that talking to your pastor/priest about this, in private, may help give you some insight into what to do next. Confession truly is a tonic for the soul because it releases us from the burden of having to keep that lie a secret from everyone when we know what we did in the first place. Keeping a lie secret is truly a difficult thing for anyone to do forever.     Do you have a best friend at school? Or a neighbor you can trust? Or a relative? In my opinion, until you relate the truth of 2 years ago to someone, you won’t be able to help yourself deal with the flashbacks and pain. They’ll just get worse, dear. Yes, it may mean that the truth will get known by everyone you know, but it will also help you begin getting the treatment you need to combat this thing. For it IS a ‘war’, young lady, you battling yourself deep inside! Gather all the support and help you can get to help you win your battles every day, even if it means owning up to having lied 2 years ago. And keep us posted on your progress, if you would, or just me privately if you don’t feel that comfortable on the NG yet. I do care. My best to you. Wes…

Response:

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