Question:
In article <19990714180218.08720.00000…@ng-fz1.aol.com>, Tomymat10 <tomyma…@aol.com> wrote:
[] >Well, in my experience the depressed person shuns social interaction and >reverts to the cave ( bedroom, whatever ) and exists in their own constricted >space.
Even that can be enormously disruptive in the lives of those who are connected to them. — Ellen Evans 17 Across: The "her" of "Leave Her to Heaven" j…@panix.com New York Times, 7/14/96
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Tomymat10 wrote: > averti wrote… > >> >Message-id: <378A55E2.1…@hotmail.com> > >> >HLW wrote: > >> >> I think you had better leave diagnosis and counseling to people who know > >> >> what they are doing. You could potentially cause a lot of damage. BPD > >> >> is chemical as well as mental. I was dx with it a year ago and am > >> >> currently on lithium. It helps, but only as an adjunct to therapy. I > >> >> also suffer from depression, in my case, a CHEMICAL problem. Are you a > >> >> trained psychotherapist? A psychologist? A psychiatric counselor? A lot > >> >> of what you said sounds like ‘blaming the victim’. I am personally > >> >> offended by our suggestion that depression is somehow a cop-out, or a > >> >> safe place. > >> >That’s an unfortunately common belief. The same people who > >> >think things like that are the descendents of the people > >> >who viewed emotional and mental problems as demonic posession 8). > >> Perhaps that’s because people with severe depression tend to mostly stew in > >> their own juices and hurt themselves > >Assuming that they operate in an interpersonal vacuum. You can > >have the potential to ”hurt” somebody else any time you interact > >with them. > Well, in my experience the depressed person shuns social interaction and > reverts to the cave ( bedroom, whatever ) and exists in their own constricted > space.
Yes, in my experience as well. it’s SAFE in there, if not particularly enjoyable. a. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Tomy
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -averti wrote… >> >Message-id: <378A55E2.1…@hotmail.com> >> >HLW wrote: >> >> I think you had better leave diagnosis and counseling to people who know >> >> what they are doing. You could potentially cause a lot of damage. BPD >> >> is chemical as well as mental. I was dx with it a year ago and am >> >> currently on lithium. It helps, but only as an adjunct to therapy. I >> >> also suffer from depression, in my case, a CHEMICAL problem. Are you a >> >> trained psychotherapist? A psychologist? A psychiatric counselor? A lot >> >> of what you said sounds like ‘blaming the victim’. I am personally >> >> offended by our suggestion that depression is somehow a cop-out, or a >> >> safe place. >> >That’s an unfortunately common belief. The same people who >> >think things like that are the descendents of the people >> >who viewed emotional and mental problems as demonic posession 8). >> Perhaps that’s because people with severe depression tend to mostly stew in >> their own juices and hurt themselves >Assuming that they operate in an interpersonal vacuum. You can >have the potential to ”hurt” somebody else any time you interact >with them.
Well, in my experience the depressed person shuns social interaction and reverts to the cave ( bedroom, whatever ) and exists in their own constricted space. Tomy
Response:
apb wrote: > >averti wrote: > >for stupidity, there’s no known cure. > You’ve heard the difference between genius and stupidity? Genius has its > limits…
Hee! Thought for TODAY: At least 1/2 of everybody is below average. a. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty" Thomas Jefferson.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -averti wrote in message <378A55E2.1…@hotmail.com>… >HLW wrote: >> I think you had better leave diagnosis and counseling to people who know >> what they are doing. You could potentially cause a lot of damage. BPD >> is chemical as well as mental. I was dx with it a year ago and am >> currently on lithium. It helps, but only as an adjunct to therapy. I >> also suffer from depression, in my case, a CHEMICAL problem. Are you a >> trained psychotherapist? A psychologist? A psychiatric counselor? A lot >> of what you said sounds like ‘blaming the victim’. I am personally >> offended by our suggestion that depression is somehow a cop-out, or a >> safe place. >That’s an unfortunately common belief. The same people who >think things like that are the descendents of the people >who viewed emotional and mental problems as demonic posession 8).
This is an example of "tainting the waters of eternity," IMO. Probably the word, eternity, is stetching it out too far. I think of Zohar’s eternity as the future. elcam
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -averti wrote in message <378B591A.5…@hotmail.com>… >apb wrote: >> >averti wrote: >> >for stupidity, there’s no known cure. >> You’ve heard the difference between genius and stupidity? Genius has its >> limits… >Hee! >Thought for TODAY: At least 1/2 of everybody is below >average. >a.
I wonder if any studies have been done the average intelligence of a person with BPD. My guess is that it would be in the upper half. elcam
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -elcam wrote: > averti wrote in message <378B591A.5…@hotmail.com>… > >apb wrote: > >> >averti wrote: > >> >for stupidity, there’s no known cure. > >> You’ve heard the difference between genius and stupidity? Genius > has its > >> limits… > >Hee! > >Thought for TODAY: At least 1/2 of everybody is below > >average. > >a. > I wonder if any studies have been done the average intelligence of a > person with BPD. My guess is that it would be in the upper half.
Since testing for ”intelligence” is still rather a crude process, I imagine that BPs on a good day would be such facile test-takers that they would score unusually high. Esp. on essay questions, which allow one to use ones’ highly developed bullshit abilities… > elcam
a.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -averti wrote… >Message-id: <378A55E2.1…@hotmail.com> >HLW wrote: >> I think you had better leave diagnosis and counseling to people who know >> what they are doing. You could potentially cause a lot of damage. BPD >> is chemical as well as mental. I was dx with it a year ago and am >> currently on lithium. It helps, but only as an adjunct to therapy. I >> also suffer from depression, in my case, a CHEMICAL problem. Are you a >> trained psychotherapist? A psychologist? A psychiatric counselor? A lot >> of what you said sounds like ‘blaming the victim’. I am personally >> offended by our suggestion that depression is somehow a cop-out, or a >> safe place. >That’s an unfortunately common belief. The same people who >think things like that are the descendents of the people >who viewed emotional and mental problems as demonic posession 8).
Perhaps that’s because people with severe depression tend to mostly stew in their own juices and hurt themselves where as people with emotional problems often interact destructively with others? Tomy
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Tomymat10 wrote: > averti wrote… > >Message-id: <378A55E2.1…@hotmail.com> > >HLW wrote: > >> I think you had better leave diagnosis and counseling to people who know > >> what they are doing. You could potentially cause a lot of damage. BPD > >> is chemical as well as mental. I was dx with it a year ago and am > >> currently on lithium. It helps, but only as an adjunct to therapy. I > >> also suffer from depression, in my case, a CHEMICAL problem. Are you a > >> trained psychotherapist? A psychologist? A psychiatric counselor? A lot > >> of what you said sounds like ‘blaming the victim’. I am personally > >> offended by our suggestion that depression is somehow a cop-out, or a > >> safe place. > >That’s an unfortunately common belief. The same people who > >think things like that are the descendents of the people > >who viewed emotional and mental problems as demonic posession 8). > Perhaps that’s because people with severe depression tend to mostly stew in > their own juices and hurt themselves
Assuming that they operate in an interpersonal vacuum. You can have the potential to ”hurt” somebody else any time you interact with them. > where as people with emotional problems > often interact destructively with others?
Maybe. Reminds me of the saying ”When Japanese people lose it, they close the window and kill themselves. When Americans lose it, they open the window and kill somebody else.” > Tomy
a.
Response:
For the group: I responded to Coach John privately, and he never returned my email. If I still have what I worte, I’ll post it. Thanx to everyone else for their replies! –Dan (D K)
Response:
On 12 Jul 1999 23:01:17 GMT, tomyma…@aol.com (Tomymat10) wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->averti wrote… >>Message-id: <378A55E2.1…@hotmail.com> >>HLW wrote: >>> I think you had better leave diagnosis and counseling to people who know >>> what they are doing. You could potentially cause a lot of damage. BPD >>> is chemical as well as mental. I was dx with it a year ago and am >>> currently on lithium. It helps, but only as an adjunct to therapy. I >>> also suffer from depression, in my case, a CHEMICAL problem. Are you a >>> trained psychotherapist? A psychologist? A psychiatric counselor? A lot >>> of what you said sounds like ‘blaming the victim’. I am personally >>> offended by our suggestion that depression is somehow a cop-out, or a >>> safe place. >>That’s an unfortunately common belief. The same people who >>think things like that are the descendents of the people >>who viewed emotional and mental problems as demonic posession 8). >Perhaps that’s because people with severe depression tend to mostly stew in >their own juices and hurt themselves where as people with emotional problems >often interact destructively with others? >Tomy
1. Since when do people with severe depression not have emotional problems??? 2. The loved ones of severely depressed people can be hurt by the situation. Being shut out by someone who can’t connect to you isn’t the same thing as being (for example) abandoned, but both can hurt. Laurie — You can get what you want or you can just get old –Billy Joel
Response:
>averti wrote: >for stupidity, there’s no known cure.
You’ve heard the difference between genius and stupidity? Genius has its limits… "Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty" Thomas Jefferson.
Response:
A good arguement for moderated boards. To keep quacks like you off of them.
Response:
HLW wrote: > I think you had better leave diagnosis and counseling to people who know > what they are doing. You could potentially cause a lot of damage. BPD > is chemical as well as mental. I was dx with it a year ago and am > currently on lithium. It helps, but only as an adjunct to therapy. I > also suffer from depression, in my case, a CHEMICAL problem. Are you a > trained psychotherapist? A psychologist? A psychiatric counselor? A lot > of what you said sounds like ‘blaming the victim’. I am personally > offended by our suggestion that depression is somehow a cop-out, or a > safe place.
That’s an unfortunately common belief. The same people who think things like that are the descendents of the people who viewed emotional and mental problems as demonic posession 8). > When you feel so down you’d rather be dead, that is not > safe. You obviously haven’t truly suffered from major depression or you > wouldn’t write such tripe. I started out writing this trying to be nice, > but the more I think about what you said, the angrier I get. Quite > frankly, you sound like an ignorant idiot, like you’re trying to sell > your new type of ‘therapy’. Like a used car salesman.
Free advice is usually worth at least that much–particularly if you don’t follow it. >Maybe, before you > start spouting off, you should get some information about what you are > talking about. People have enough trouble dealing with these problems > without you insinuating that it’s somehow their fault, that if they were > just more ‘motivated’ they wouldn’t have them. Being motivated doesn’t > fix a persons brain chemistry. Shut up before you hurt somebody with > your crap!
Ever take a look at one of those TV chat/fight shows? Only stupid people fall for extremely stupid premises, and for stupidity, there’s no known cure. a.
Response:
Hi there, I also have been diagnosed as borderline. After years of various diagnosis I believe this is the correct one. I too have problems with over spending and when the money is not available I steal what I want (not need) just to feel something I think. If you would like to talk feel free to get ahold of me. KIM D K wrote in message <11380-37820396…@newsd-122.bryant.webtv.net>…
My therapist, after a few years of bouncing around from diagnoses to diagnoses, has thrown BPD into the picture now. I am more confused than ever. My main symptoms are: 1) Feeling of emptiness. I most feel like a blank slate that gets written upon by everyone I am around. 2) I don’t know who I am religiously, career wise, sexually (gay, straight, asexual??). 3) Depression with sucide attempts/fantasies. 4) I lie "like a rug" to impress people, no matter how insignificant it may be. 5) I have impulse problems. For example spending money and, most recently, I stole money from work (I have no idea why I did that). I worked in a bank, and that was, of course, grounds for immediate dismissal. (Self-destruction??) 6) I do not cut myself, but have intentionally hurt myself in more subtle ways. 7) My moods are unpredictable, and when i am angry I am really ANGRY. 
I have gone from job to job, and have started and quit college so many times it is ridiculous. 9) I blame myself for most of this. Note: I do not have a substance abuse problem, other than with cigarettes. I was not sexually abused as a child, but I had very little emotional support and was left early by my father. Verbal abuse from siblings/caregivers was prominent, and my mom was never there emotionally….she was always working. Does this at all sound familiar to anyone? Does the Dx sound appropriate? I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorders, depression, and OCD (thoughts whirling about in my head that would require some sort of ritual to eliminat/alleviate) As i am growing sick of all of this, I would like to know if anyone else out there is like me, Thanks for taking the time to read this. dk
Response:
Dear DK, My daughter was diagnosed with major depression with psychosis in October. After 10 months and 15 different pills and combo’s of pills she has found some hope. She is taking tegretol and Prozac and entering DBT with her therapist. Please take the time to access Dr. Heller’s site or Borderline sanctuary. She is a different person after one week. Best of luck to you and remember that you have a condition that you are suffering from not a charector disorder or faults but rather a great deal of pain that can be helped! Love to You, Jill
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -jill225 wrote……. >EDT >Message-id: <19990709182022.03230.00013…@ng-fv1.aol.com> >Dear DK, >My daughter was diagnosed with major depression with psychosis in October. >After 10 months and 15 different pills and combo’s of pills she has found >some >hope. She is taking tegretol and Prozac and entering DBT with her therapist. >Please take the time to access Dr. Heller’s site or Borderline sanctuary. She >is a different person after one week. >Best of luck to you and remember that you have a condition that you are >suffering from not a charector disorder or faults but rather a great deal of >pain that can be helped! >Love to You, >Jill
That strikes me as a very good way of looking at it. W
Response:
>I consider what I do an alternative to psychotherapy. >Yeah? Considered by whom?
Considered by me. I don’t think a lot of people in counseling really need counseling. Why dwell on the past when you can create a future? >> — We tend to feel empty when we don’t have a goal or a driving >purpose in life. >It’s far from established that everybody needs a goal–let alone
a ”driving purpose”–in order to function. Some of the happiest, most fulfilled humans are those in primitive societies where there are no ambitions, no plans beyond how to get enough to eat tomorrow… The point of having a goal isn’t to accomplish something we are driven to. The meaning of life definitely is not found in an accomplishment or a material object. It isn’t about ambition. It’s about feeling one has a purpose. Check out Maslow. For all the big theories in the world, his simple pyramid is the nutshell. I would venture to guess that those "primitive" societies have their daily purposes. To feed themselves. To cultivate family and tradition. To participate in human activities we civilized people consider "primitive." I have visited simple cultures and have no doubt they are happier without our ambitions. >> — My view on depression is somewhat controversial. I believe it is a choice. >That’s not controversial, just anti-scientific 8). The electrochemical nature
of all sorts of depressive disorders is very well documented. >Is epilpsy a choice? Or Tourettes’?
Averti, you sound like you have some education in this realm. You should then recognize that true biochemical depression is either a problem with adrenal or thyroid function, or a problem with the brain function. Otherwise, its a matter of what came first; The horse or the cart? Most chemical imbalances are created by poor diet which serves to amplify the depression. A person on a diet free of refined sugar would have to really work at being depressed. Diet is one of many choices a person can change to overcome depression. As for comparing it to epilipsy or Tourettes, I think we’re comparing apples and oranges. I don’t believe that the majority of people dealing with depression are fighting an incurable disease. I know it’s really bad for the business of psychology and the pharamceutical companies, to tell people they have a choice about depression. >>Ecstasy is welcoming the uncomfortable. >Say what?
Finding the strength to face our fears is where ecstasy is found. It requires faith and love. >> >4) I lie "like a rug" to impress people, no matter how insignificant it may be. >> — If you really liked who you were, would you lie? Deep down you >know who you >> are and you seem to be really afraid to let that out. >Now, now. Lying is a legitimate and valid tool–it’s when it’s >overused that it becomes slippery and dangerous to the user. >Constant reflexive lying may be nothing more than an effort to >improve on unglamorous or boring reality 8).
I don’t personally believe that telling a lie is ever "healthy." My point with my proactive approach is that rather than having to fabric a life of lies, why not create the life you want. The real reason we lie is because we don’t trust ourself to be able to deal with the consequences of the truth. >It feels, if not good, somehow right. Why do people run miles and >miles until they are one exhausted mass of pain?
Everything we do, we do for a payoff. Sometimes the motivation is easy to see, sometimes it isn’t. They run for many reasons, chief among them I’m sure is the feeling of accomplishment or "runners high." >> Where does your past exist? With you and only you in your mind. >How do you mean?
I mean that our life is made up of a series of moments. His childhood has been and gone, yet he holds onto it. It happened, but the only place that it lives is in his mind. It’s the past. It’s gone. Releasing the past is as easy as choosing to release it. We can carry baggage all of our life, using it as excuse for not living the life we want.
Response:
I think you had better leave diagnosis and counseling to people who know what they are doing. You could potentially cause a lot of damage. BPD is chemical as well as mental. I was dx with it a year ago and am currently on lithium. It helps, but only as an adjunct to therapy. I also suffer from depression, in my case, a CHEMICAL problem. Are you a trained psychotherapist? A psychologist? A psychiatric counselor? A lot of what you said sounds like ‘blaming the victim’. I am personally offended by our suggestion that depression is somehow a cop-out, or a safe place. When you feel so down you’d rather be dead, that is not safe. You obviously haven’t truly suffered from major depression or you wouldn’t write such tripe. I started out writing this trying to be nice, but the more I think about what you said, the angrier I get. Quite frankly, you sound like an ignorant idiot, like you’re trying to sell your new type of ‘therapy’. Like a used car salesman. Maybe, before you start spouting off, you should get some information about what you are talking about. People have enough trouble dealing with these problems without you insinuating that it’s somehow their fault, that if they were just more ‘motivated’ they wouldn’t have them. Being motivated doesn’t fix a persons brain chemistry. Shut up before you hurt somebody with your crap!
Response:
In article <19990708021552.23149.00012…@ng-bh1.aol.com>, neteffe…@aol.com (NetEffect1) wrote: > DK, > I read your post and being new to newsgroups couldn’t figure out how to post to > the board — can you help me with that? > I am a personal coach. I work with people to create life’s they love. I > consider what I do an alternative to psychotherapy.
Yeah? Considered by whom? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I believe many people > spend a lot of time working on what they don’t like in their life, rather than > getting down to what they want and do like. I feel your therapist — and not > to diminish what s/he has brought to your life — has taken you on a quest of > trying to figure out what is wrong with you rather than what is right and what > makes you happy. > If you don’t mind, I’d like to offer some of my insights into what you have > written. > >My main symptoms are: > >1) Feeling of emptiness. I most feel like a blank slate that gets > >written upon by everyone I am around. > >2) I don’t know who I am religiously, career wise, sexually (gay, > >straight, asexual??). > — We tend to feel empty when we don’t have a goal or a driving purpose in > life.
It’s far from established that everybody needs a goal–let alone a ”driving purpose”–in order to function. Some of the happiest, most fulfilled humans are those in primitive societies where there are no ambitions, no plans beyond how to get enough to eat tomorrow… >One day feels just like the last. From what you have written it doesn’t > sound like you have a clue about who you are — consciously — and that you are > perhaps afraid of what the people in your life would think of you if you did > reveal what is truly you.
Good point. And the imagined worst is almost always worse than what the real-life reaction would be. > >3) Depression with suicide attempts/fantasies. > — My view on depression is somewhat controversial. I believe it is a
choice. That’s not controversial, just anti-scientific 8). The electrochemical nature of all sorts of depressive disorders is very well documented. Is epilpsy a choice? Or Tourettes’? > Yes, I have been there. As much as it sucks, it’s the safest place in the > world. You don’t have to take any risks, or real responsibility for your life. > You suck and that’s just the lousy deck you go dealt. You just get to lie in > a warm bed, curled up, making up reasons why you aren’t good enough to face > what you really want in life. It’s a big payoff. The only way out of it is to > get the support you need to face your fears and start living. Ecstasy is > welcoming the uncomfortable.
Say what? > >4) I lie "like a rug" to impress people, no matter how insignificant it may > be. > — If you really liked who you were, would you lie? Deep down you know who you > are and you seem to be really afraid to let that out.
Now, now. Lying is a legitimate and valid tool–it’s when it’s overused that it becomes slippery and dangerous to the user. Constant reflexive lying may be nothing more than an effort to improve on unglamorous or boring reality 8). > >5) I have impulse problems. For example spending money and, most recently, I > stole money from work (I have no idea why I did that). I worked in a bank, and > that was, of course, grounds for immediate dismissal.
(Self-destruction??) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> — An impulse is a reaction. As a human being, you have the ability to be > aware of having thoughts. That gives you the ability to choose your actions, > to be proactive. A thought is an action. You have the ability — with work — > to learn to control your thoughts. I’m not talking about positive thinking — > I’m talking about freedom from your mind. The realization that you have a > choice about what you think about and what you decide to act upon. Your life > is the manifestation of your choices in life. If you want your life to be > different, make different choices. At some level you made a choice to steal > money, knowing the consequences. My question would be, "Did you want to get > caught?" I think you did. > >6) I do not cut myself, but have intentionally hurt myself in more subtle > ways. > Why???? Why would you do that?
It feels, if not good, somehow right. Why do people run miles and miles until they are one exhausted mass of pain? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >7) My moods are unpredictable, and when i am angry I am really ANGRY. > — Anger is the first place we go when we come out of fear and its relatives > (covert hostility, resentment, numbness, grief, undeserving, apathy, victim, > hopelessness). It feels more free than those feelings, but it doesn’t bring > happiness. > It requires more explanation than I can go into here, but that’s it in a > nutshell. > >9) I blame myself for most of this. > — How does blaming anyone serve to make you happier? That’s the bottom line > isn’t it? To be happy? Blame is about the past. It’s about right/wrong, > good/bad, better/worse. Judgments. To take responsibility for your life isn’t > about these things. Things happen. It is the choice you make with how to be > with them that makes up the quality of your life. > >I had very little emotional support and was left early by my father. Verbal > abuse from siblings/caregivers was prominent, and my mom was never there > emotionally….she was always working. > — I can empathize with these things. However, it’s all about your past. > Where does your past exist? With you and only you in your mind.
How do you mean? >So long as > you choose to hang onto it and blame it for what your life is currently, you > cannot be present to what is going on now. You cannot be happy. > >(thoughts whirling about in my head that would require some sort of ritual to > eliminat/alleviate) > — As I said, I have been there. For me what worked was, 1. Becoming aware of > my thoughts and what they were doing to me. 2. When the thoughts began, I > would do a chant over and over. Find something that is peaceful and soothing > to you. For me it was, "Ohm Nama Shevaya, Shevaya Nama Ohm."
Probly better than ”Left side, right side, right side, suicide”. >It means, I bow > to the God within. 3. Learn about yourself. Give yourself something to look > forward to. To work towards. Your mind is going to be thinking constantly and > if you don’t keep it busy with good things, it will fill up with the bad. > DK, I wish you well and I hope what I have offered you is helpful. > John R. Barker > Persona
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Response:
..seems like you figured it out…. –Dan
Response:
In article <11380-37820396…@newsd-122.bryant.webtv.net>, dkenne…@webtv.net (D K) wrote: > My therapist, after a few years of bouncing around from diagnoses to > diagnoses, has thrown BPD into the picture now. I am more confused than > ever.
That’s par for the course 8). Your ”checklist” covers a lot of the standard signifiers, but then, there are other personality disorders–or other emotional disorders–which can skew your life in these ways. One point: you can ”get” PTSD from neglect, especially during the part of childhood where your personality is supposedly learning how to emotionally interact with others. So abuse can consist of absence of affection as well as overt bad treatment. a. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My main symptoms are: > 1) Feeling of emptiness. I most feel like a blank slate that gets > written upon by everyone I am around. > 2) I don’t know who I am religiously, career wise, sexually (gay, > straight, asexual??). > 3) Depression with sucide attempts/fantasies. > 4) I lie "like a rug" to impress people, no matter how insignificant it > may be. > 5) I have impulse problems. For example spending money and, most > recently, I stole money from work (I have no idea why I did that). I > worked in a bank, and that was, of course, grounds for immediate > dismissal. (Self-destruction??) > 6) I do not cut myself, but have intentionally hurt myself in more > subtle ways. > 7) My moods are unpredictable, and when i am angry I am really ANGRY. > I have gone from job to job, and have started and quit college so > many times it is ridiculous. > 9) I blame myself for most of this. > Note: I do not have a substance abuse problem, other than with > cigarettes. I was not sexually abused as a child, but I had very little > emotional support and was left early by my father. Verbal abuse from > siblings/caregivers was prominent, and my mom was never there > emotionally….she was always working. > Does this at all sound familiar to anyone? Does the Dx sound > appropriate? I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorders, depression, > and OCD (thoughts whirling about in my head that would require some sort > of ritual to eliminat/alleviate) > As i am growing sick of all of this, I would like to know if anyone else > out there is like me, > Thanks for taking the time to read this. > dk
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Response:
DK, I read your post and being new to newsgroups couldn’t figure out how to post to the board — can you help me with that? I am a personal coach. I work with people to create life’s they love. I consider what I do an alternative to psychotherapy. I believe many people spend a lot of time working on what they don’t like in their life, rather than getting down to what they want and do like. I feel your therapist — and not to diminish what s/he has brought to your life — has taken you on a quest of trying to figure out what is wrong with you rather than what is right and what makes you happy. If you don’t mind, I’d like to offer some of my insights into what you have written. >My main symptoms are: >1) Feeling of emptiness. I most feel like a blank slate that gets >written upon by everyone I am around. >2) I don’t know who I am religiously, career wise, sexually (gay, >straight, asexual??).
– We tend to feel empty when we don’t have a goal or a driving purpose in life. One day feels just like the last. From what you have written it doesn’t sound like you have a clue about who you are — consciously — and that you are perhaps afraid of what the people in your life would think of you if you did reveal what is truly you. >3) Depression with suicide attempts/fantasies.
– My view on depression is somewhat controversial. I believe it is a choice. Yes, I have been there. As much as it sucks, it’s the safest place in the world. You don’t have to take any risks, or real responsibility for your life. You suck and that’s just the lousy deck you go dealt. You just get to lie in a warm bed, curled up, making up reasons why you aren’t good enough to face what you really want in life. It’s a big payoff. The only way out of it is to get the support you need to face your fears and start living. Ecstasy is welcoming the uncomfortable. >4) I lie "like a rug" to impress people, no matter how insignificant it may
be. — If you really liked who you were, would you lie? Deep down you know who you are and you seem to be really afraid to let that out. >5) I have impulse problems. For example spending money and, most recently, I
stole money from work (I have no idea why I did that). I worked in a bank, and that was, of course, grounds for immediate dismissal. (Self-destruction??) — An impulse is a reaction. As a human being, you have the ability to be aware of having thoughts. That gives you the ability to choose your actions, to be proactive. A thought is an action. You have the ability — with work — to learn to control your thoughts. I’m not talking about positive thinking — I’m talking about freedom from your mind. The realization that you have a choice about what you think about and what you decide to act upon. Your life is the manifestation of your choices in life. If you want your life to be different, make different choices. At some level you made a choice to steal money, knowing the consequences. My question would be, "Did you want to get caught?" I think you did. >6) I do not cut myself, but have intentionally hurt myself in more subtle
ways. Why???? Why would you do that? >7) My moods are unpredictable, and when i am angry I am really ANGRY.
– Anger is the first place we go when we come out of fear and its relatives (covert hostility, resentment, numbness, grief, undeserving, apathy, victim, hopelessness). It feels more free than those feelings, but it doesn’t bring happiness. It requires more explanation than I can go into here, but that’s it in a nutshell. >9) I blame myself for most of this.
– How does blaming anyone serve to make you happier? That’s the bottom line isn’t it? To be happy? Blame is about the past. It’s about right/wrong, good/bad, better/worse. Judgments. To take responsibility for your life isn’t about these things. Things happen. It is the choice you make with how to be with them that makes up the quality of your life. >I had very little emotional support and was left early by my father. Verbal
abuse from siblings/caregivers was prominent, and my mom was never there emotionally….she was always working. — I can empathize with these things. However, it’s all about your past. Where does your past exist? With you and only you in your mind. So long as you choose to hang onto it and blame it for what your life is currently, you cannot be present to what is going on now. You cannot be happy. >(thoughts whirling about in my head that would require some sort of ritual to
eliminat/alleviate) — As I said, I have been there. For me what worked was, 1. Becoming aware of my thoughts and what they were doing to me. 2. When the thoughts began, I would do a chant over and over. Find something that is peaceful and soothing to you. For me it was, "Ohm Nama Shevaya, Shevaya Nama Ohm." It means, I bow to the God within. 3. Learn about yourself. Give yourself something to look forward to. To work towards. Your mind is going to be thinking constantly and if you don’t keep it busy with good things, it will fill up with the bad. DK, I wish you well and I hope what I have offered you is helpful. John R. Barker Personal Coach NetEffe…@aol.com
Response:
My therapist, after a few years of bouncing around from diagnoses to diagnoses, has thrown BPD into the picture now. I am more confused than ever. My main symptoms are: 1) Feeling of emptiness. I most feel like a blank slate that gets written upon by everyone I am around. 2) I don’t know who I am religiously, career wise, sexually (gay, straight, asexual??). 3) Depression with sucide attempts/fantasies. 4) I lie "like a rug" to impress people, no matter how insignificant it may be. 5) I have impulse problems. For example spending money and, most recently, I stole money from work (I have no idea why I did that). I worked in a bank, and that was, of course, grounds for immediate dismissal. (Self-destruction??) 6) I do not cut myself, but have intentionally hurt myself in more subtle ways. 7) My moods are unpredictable, and when i am angry I am really ANGRY. I have gone from job to job, and have started and quit college so many times it is ridiculous. 9) I blame myself for most of this. Note: I do not have a substance abuse problem, other than with cigarettes. I was not sexually abused as a child, but I had very little emotional support and was left early by my father. Verbal abuse from siblings/caregivers was prominent, and my mom was never there emotionally….she was always working. Does this at all sound familiar to anyone? Does the Dx sound appropriate? I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorders, depression, and OCD (thoughts whirling about in my head that would require some sort of ritual to eliminat/alleviate) As i am growing sick of all of this, I would like to know if anyone else out there is like me, Thanks for taking the time to read this. dk
Response:
Hi D K , from the things you have explained and described, it seems that your diagnosis of BPD would be appropriate. Have you looked up some information on the ‘net about BPD? This might be helpful to do if you haven’t. There are some great sites out there which can help you understand BPD better. A lot of the things you said sound very familiar to me – a lot like the way my life is. No, you are not alone. Just as a note – the ‘whirling thoughts’ part that you mentioned, if you are a BP, is what we call ‘racing thoughts’. It is very common for BP’s, so this can actually be part of the BPD. Feel free to email privately, or stick around and talk. GoF D K <dkenne…@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:11380-37820396-12@newsd-122.bryant.webtv.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My therapist, after a few years of bouncing around from diagnoses to > diagnoses, has thrown BPD into the picture now. I am more confused than > ever. > My main symptoms are: > 1) Feeling of emptiness. I most feel like a blank slate that gets > written upon by everyone I am around. > 2) I don’t know who I am religiously, career wise, sexually (gay, > straight, asexual??). > 3) Depression with sucide attempts/fantasies. > 4) I lie "like a rug" to impress people, no matter how insignificant it > may be. > 5) I have impulse problems. For example spending money and, most > recently, I stole money from work (I have no idea why I did that). I > worked in a bank, and that was, of course, grounds for immediate > dismissal. (Self-destruction??) > 6) I do not cut myself, but have intentionally hurt myself in more > subtle ways. > 7) My moods are unpredictable, and when i am angry I am really ANGRY. > I have gone from job to job, and have started and quit college so > many times it is ridiculous. > 9) I blame myself for most of this. > Note: I do not have a substance abuse problem, other than with > cigarettes. I was not sexually abused as a child, but I had very little > emotional support and was left early by my father. Verbal abuse from > siblings/caregivers was prominent, and my mom was never there > emotionally….she was always working. > Does this at all sound familiar to anyone? Does the Dx sound > appropriate? I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorders, depression, > and OCD (thoughts whirling about in my head that would require some sort > of ritual to eliminat/alleviate) > As i am growing sick of all of this, I would like to know if anyone else > out there is like me, > Thanks for taking the time to read this. > dk
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