Question:
Dear Grace –
Hi hi Primrose….. 
Writing you both now… Hi hi Beauty… You all couldn’t have answered at a better time… thanks so much… and to the others as well… so glad you emailed… I haven’t seen one on these emails on ASDIS….deja is playing a game with me at the moment…. so….. onto our discussion…. Just my few comments, for whatever they are worth. I think that Primrose wrote so well about your questions and what you are experiencing with regard to what C said. And her perceptions of who you are accord with mine fully. I also agree that this C person does not sound like someone I would think of as a friend after this kind of statement.
I just got to read Primrose’s response… thanks for including this, so I will answer the two emails all in one…. so, so glad that I didn’t miss out… need, really need this now…… C is disturbed a lotof the time.. . and sometimes she projects her stuff onto me… I guess hoping that I am MPD and can fully understand her… She is a good friend… and has helped me out of many a scrape.. Why she chose to say this is beyond me… especially knowing my triggers… 
Also – a comment on the issue of your dx and your self-perception as non-multiple. Your description of what happens for you reminds me very, very much of how it is for me. And I *do* consider myself multiple even though I don’t lose large chunks of time. As it happens, now that I have been thinking of myself as multiple for a while – about a year and a half – I notice more and more evidence that in fact I may be, or may have been, losing more than I think.
You know, sometimes I oscillate between thinking that I am MPD…. a disoid with parts, or just a singleton disoid, wanting some company and understanding…. (this is the stage I am right now…. nope, nope… I don’t have parts…. shutup in the backgroud… I don’t have parts… and so on…. Can you relate??? And I do, so *very* very* much want to walk in the truth…. I am just confused at the moment I think…. And, yes, the dx as multiple certainly explains very, very well what is going on with me. I don’t know – I just decided that if it makes sense of what is going on, why not accept it as a dx. It’s just a model, anyway – just a way of thinking about and talking about some kind of personal reality. I think of all words and concepts as indications of experience, anyway, and not reified truths.
Hmmm You have me thinking…. Perhaps I am scared to be MPD… the reason being, is that I will never really *know* unless I have a dx from a shrinkypooh…. and they are very hard to get out of this lot in Aussie land… D did say to me though, that he had spoken to the differnt parts of me on many occasions…. I feel he believes that I have parts…. he says he is concrete proof… but not DID you see…. My tx did not choose to commit herself either way, saying it didn’t really matter anyway, since dissociation is a continuum and the treatment is the same for dissociation no matter where it falls on the continuum. But what I really think is that she did not want to scare me with a dx as multiple. Now that I accept it for myself, I can hardly imagine – based on the things that she saw happen in her office – that she *didn’t* think I was multiple. What Primrose said about distinct personalities applies very much to me.
I see…. I’ll keep reading onwards….. I’m done mouthing off.
Mouth off at any time.. I’d be lost with-out feed-back like this….. I hope you are feeling more peaceful and more sure that you are who you are – the sweet and strong Grace we have come to know for a long time here at asd.
Thank-you Beauty… I very much wonder whether I am indeed "sweet", but kind and gentle I greatly aspire to be, even if it means givig out a bit of honesty that may hurt for a while…. I don’t see myself as you see me, as Primrose sees me, nor Domino, nor e….. i just can’t see it….I *feel* like a pretender Thank-you…. I have a feeling that after reading these posts, I am getting a message to sway towards the softer part of my nature and allow the fear to subside… Dear Beauty, Peace and safety, Grace Beauty Hi Grace,
Hey Primrose… So glad I caught this email…. Joining you below the spoiler and between your text:
K.. So glad you did!!! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – x-no-archive: yes x-no-archive: yes Was talking to C yesterday, and she told me something that has me kind of reeling at the moment, and awfully scared….. this is where the spoiler comes in…. Talk of w*ckedness and ev*l…… and things of that nature…. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 She told me that she has seen me "switch" into this ev*l mode…. cold… calculating… hard…. wicked…. and now I am very afraid… I am not MPD…. soo… of course it comes down to my being scared of the p*session thingy again…(we talked about this as well) How well do you know this friend Grace? Is she someone you trust? If it were me, I would be very concerned about anyone who talk to you in this way. I mean, what were her motives? How did she think this ‘information’ would help you?
Well, we have been friends for about 2 years, and I can’t claim to *really* know her because she has many parts and much pain to work through. But what I’ve seen and witnessed, she has helped me through many a tough time, with good, sound solid support and advice…as I have her too…. As for the motive…. I’m confused about this…. Come to think of it, she was talking to her tpist about this before she told me. She also said that she felt scared of this other "part" and had only seen this on 3 occasions… and she is not scared any-more… I do wish she could have told me what I was doing.saying, what were the circumstances and so forth so I could better understand… although I may not have been fully present on these occasions… Domino: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Grace, I ask this very gently, k? Would it be so horrible if you are truly MPD?? Is the thought of being p*ssessed better than the thought of being multiple? Or just different? More acceptable? This is not the first time I have seen you deny that you are multiple. Does it scare you too much? No it doesn’t scare me. Actually I really do *know* that I am not MPD, because my perceptions and ummm "symptoms" are not those of my friends, nor other peoples on the group. I fall in no-man’s-land…. Sometimes trancing out…. sometimes sitting behind my face and watching myself(???) talk….. stuff like that… I do not lose large amounts of time, just small amounts, and I put this down to the meds I am on as they have an amnesiac quality to them….. It would be a relief to know what *is* actually happening to me…… The best I get from the d*cs is that I dissociate a lot, I need to intergr*te, I am BPD, anxiety/panic dis, major depression, ptsd and an alcoholic…. haha… so there you go…. I would not feel afraid to be MPD….. It would sure clear up a lot of things for me, but really, really and truly I do not feel this to be the case…
Primrose: I know that nobody can attempt to ‘diagnose’ over the Net, but I did assume you were multiple because Rosie and Craig seemed so much distinct identities.
Yes… Yes indeed… but I always thought that they were more ummmmm "parts" of me,parts trapped in time… parts that manifest as being very different to me,(also very, very familiar), but at the same time I have come to understand some of their pain… They are yet to give me all the memories… in their own time I guess hey? instead of being peoples in their own right…. They do have seperate identies, and Rosie has really been holding out to post of late, but I’m going through the old "I don’t believe any of this any more"… that I am a liar and a deceiver…. I think I will allow Rosie to write later on, no matter what *I* think…… This is a struggle… I have denied them (if this is the truth) for about one month now…. As for the p*session part, it’s because of the c*lt you see…. I keep wanting this "thing" or whatever out of me all the time, and live in terror that in fact I am p’d…… Fear… terror…. I hate to think that I have something evil lurking with in me…. It really, really terrifies me so much that I can become psychotic if I allow the fear to escalate to an unmagageable degree
Primrose: Okay – this is what I think about this. I think that this is *exactly* what the c*lt wanted you to think. As far as they are concerned, the more terrified you are about stuff like p*ss**n (which incidentally I do not believe in), the more unstable you become, the less credible you become and therefore the less likely their criminal acts are to be discovered. It keeps them safer.
thing to do…. it *never* stops… there is no peace….They sure "trained" me well…:( She told me that she has a part/parts that are like this… and she def. saw this in me… I don’t want this to be in me…. What should I do?? Is this normal?? Do all peoples have parts that may be/could be ev*l….??
Domino: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – It is normal for me/us. L. can be quite ev*l. So can domino, although domino tends to lean toward the anger/hatred/rage side. L. has very
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Response:
kind and gentle I greatly aspire to be, even if it means givig out a bit of honesty that may hurt for a while…. I don’t see myself as you see me, as Primrose sees me, nor Domino, nor e….. i just can’t see it….I *feel* like a pretender
I have this too,continuasly playing a part. We are made up of all different emotions ,we have the the possibility of the whole span ,people have felt all feelings for years ,they even wrote a dictionary with them all in and words explaining there meaning so that we may RELATE to them and UNDERSTAND, you are allowed to feel total utter hatred , you may well feel evil ,really evil till you scare yourself that much you think your charles manson or jeffrey dahlmer but once your relaxed you realise your not like charles manson, or jeff (a hem) you may feel capable of that sophisticated manipulation, hey, you may be really smart…. and know how easy it is to deceive people…this can sometimes make you feel really powerfull and if your feeling evil you can have contempt really big contempt for the people who don’t "recognise" how your feeling then you feel terribly anti-social it can get harder and harder to slip into that polite sweet creature people are always rewarding you by thats when you think I’m pretending playing a role but your so far up your ass by this time you have no idea where you are and how to get out. this especially is more likely to occur if we don’t aknowledge our hate early on , you may feel coldness to people who have only showed you kindness, maybe cause you felt repressed by it somehow and did’t feel you would keep receiving that kindness if you showed them another part of your personality this of course may probably not be true , you may even be embraced by your freinds e.c.t… I ‘m speaking only from experience and hope some of this is relevant and can help, if it is please let me know, it’ll make me feel better about the reply’s i keep filling up, is this okay to do this kinda of thing?I’m not sure if theres a code I should be following so’s beleive because it feels so powerful and alien to you or your idea of you -which is the real oppressor.I used to strongly believe in these possibilities and explored this area and the whole mystical area does add up and make sense but its a lie me’s thinks, its you who are amazing and have many powerful ,undiscovered qualities , why externalise them its not Thank-you…. I have a feeling that after reading these posts, I am getting – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – a message to sway towards the softer part of my nature and allow the fear to subside… Dear Beauty, Peace and safety, Grace Beauty Hi Grace, Hey Primrose… So glad I caught this email…. Joining you below the spoiler and between your text: K.. So glad you did!!! x-no-archive: yes x-no-archive: yes Was talking to C yesterday, and she told me something that has me kind of reeling at the moment, and awfully scared….. this is where the spoiler comes in…. Talk of w*ckedness and ev*l…… and things of that nature…. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 She told me that she has seen me "switch" into this ev*l mode…. cold… calculating… hard…. wicked…. and now I am very afraid… I am not MPD…. soo… of course it comes down to my being scared of the p*session thingy again…(we talked about this as well) How well do you know this friend Grace? Is she someone you trust? If it were me, I would be very concerned about anyone who talk to you in this way. I mean, what were her motives? How did she think this ‘information’ would help you? Well, we have been friends for about 2 years, and I can’t claim to *really* know her because she has many parts and much pain to work through. But what I’ve seen and witnessed, she has helped me through many a tough time, with good, sound solid support and advice…as I have her too…. As for the motive…. I’m confused about this…. Come to think of it, she was talking to her tpist about this before she told me. She also said that she felt scared of this other "part" and had only seen this on 3 occasions… and she is not scared any-more… I do wish she could have told me what I was doing.saying, what were the circumstances and so forth so I could better understand… although I may not have been fully present on these occasions… Domino: Grace, I ask this very gently, k? Would it be so horrible if you are truly MPD?? Is the thought of being p*ssessed better than the thought of being multiple? Or just different? More acceptable? This is not the first time I have seen you deny that you are multiple. Does it scare you too much? No it doesn’t scare me. Actually I really do *know* that I am not MPD, because my perceptions and ummm "symptoms" are not those of my friends, nor other peoples on the group. I fall in no-man’s-land…. Sometimes trancing out…. sometimes sitting behind my face and watching myself(???) talk….. stuff like that… I do not lose large amounts of time, just small amounts, and I put this down to the meds I am on as they have an amnesiac quality to them….. It would be a relief to know what *is* actually happening to me…… The best I get from the d*cs is that I dissociate a lot, I need to intergr*te, I am BPD, anxiety/panic dis, major depression, ptsd and an alcoholic…. haha… so there you go…. I would not feel afraid to be MPD….. It would sure clear up a lot of things for me, but really, really and truly I do not feel this to be the case… Primrose: I know that nobody can attempt to ‘diagnose’ over the Net, but I did assume you were multiple because Rosie and Craig seemed so much distinct identities. Yes… Yes indeed… but I always thought that they were more ummmmm "parts" of me,parts trapped in time… parts that manifest as being very different to me,(also very, very familiar), but at the same time I have come to understand some of their pain… They are yet to give me all the memories… in their own time I guess hey? instead of being peoples in their own right…. They do have seperate identies, and Rosie has really been holding out to post of late, but I’m going through the old "I don’t believe any of this any more"… that I am a liar and a deceiver…. I think I will allow Rosie to write later on, no matter what *I* think…… This is a struggle… I have denied them (if this is the truth) for about one month now…. As for the p*session part, it’s because of the c*lt you see…. I keep wanting this "thing" or whatever out of me all the time, and live in terror that in fact I am p’d…… Fear… terror…. I hate to think that I have something evil lurking with in me…. It really, really terrifies me so much that I can become psychotic if I allow the fear to escalate to an unmagageable degree Primrose: Okay – this is what I think about this. I think that this is *exactly* what the c*lt wanted you to think. As far as they are concerned, the more terrified you are about stuff like p*ss**n (which incidentally I do not believe in), the more unstable you become, the less credible you become and therefore the less likely their criminal acts are to be discovered. It keeps them safer. thing to do…. it *never* stops… there is no peace….They sure "trained" me well…:( She told me that she has a part/parts that are like this… and she def. saw this in me… I don’t want this to be in me…. What should I do?? Is this normal?? Do all peoples have parts that may be/could be ev*l….?? Domino: It is normal for me/us. L. can be quite ev*l. So can domino, although domino tends to lean toward the anger/hatred/rage side. L. has very wicked thoughts and words. The worse they are, the louder she laughs. We don’t worry about it too much as there seem to be a lot of built in "stops" in place that keep her from carrying out most of her wickedness (at least where outside people are concerned). Kinda funny actually that the ev*l person here has p*rp-placed triggers that keep her from acting out her fantasies. (Her opinion of this paradox is that it is far from funny–she finds it enraging.) Thanks for explaining how your system works….. well how L thinks… Mine is different….. C says that I am not even aware of this "part"….. Primrose: I am quite horrified by this person who has the audacity to tell you what you are/are not aware of. This is out of order. I do not believe that anyone has the right to tell you this as if it were truth. Yes… sad feelings now…. good to hear hard facts… but don’t want to lose friend also… believe me Primrose, I have been thinking about not associating with C because of this, but then I thought of all the good times and special times we had together… They far
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Response:
Averti, scroll down a bit ! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – kind and gentle I greatly aspire to be, even if it means givig out a bit of honesty that may hurt for a while…. I don’t see myself as you see me, as Primrose sees me, nor Domino, nor e….. i just can’t see it….I *feel* like a pretender I have this too,continuasly playing a part. We are made up of all different emotions ,we have the the possibility of the whole span , That’s very well said. We’re all fully qualified pretenders–and some of us pretend to be less than we are. We pretend to ourselves.
Averti….I got lost on these 3 parts, not sure what you meant…* please explain. .I am new here ,I’ve read a few posts and you all seem to know each other well, can you tell me anything about the history of the group ,I like this group , I get a good feeling ,people seem alive ! and interested in living , If your a bit green about where your condition lies you can easily end up in depression recovery which i did for a minute.What a great group this is, would you of believed it. Was it stange meeting one of the group in daylight??? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -* When I ”met” Beauty a couple months ago, I praised her (briefly, not soppily 8)) for various qualities I saw: ”you’re this, that’ and the other” I gushed. * The reply was perfectly reasonable: ”Thanks but I don’t think I’m all those things…” * It came to me that I say pretty near the same things when somebody tells ME they think I’m this, that, and the other. * Imagine if all this denial could be harnessed for peaceful means 8). people have felt all feelings for years ,they even wrote a dictionary with them all in and words explaining there meaning so that we may RELATE to them and UNDERSTAND, you are allowed to feel total utter hatred , you may well feel evil ,really evil till you scare yourself that much you think your charles manson or jeffrey dahlmer but once your relaxed you realise your not like charles manson, or jeff (a hem) My rap on this part is ”fantasy is free.” Nobody can ding you for whatever radical things you concoct in your own imagination. Indeed, it’s probably better to let that Manson part out for some exercise once in a while; he’s not going to go over the wall. ITs about knowing how radical they are in whoevers company or is there
a COMMON truth, an appropriate world wide way (high mental) to treat it.AAAH when I was younger these things were"red", I knew( felt) it all through "art" that I saw ,the silent parent, art knew everything ,made me feel okay and very assured about all my thoughts ,the best parent I ever had..come back come back I miss the special thing we had… you may feel capable of that sophisticated manipulation, – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – hey, you may be really smart…. and know how easy it is to deceive people…this can sometimes make you feel really powerfull and if your feeling evil you can have contempt really big contempt for the people who don’t "recognise" how your feeling then you feel terribly anti-social it can get harder and harder to slip into that polite sweet creature people are always rewarding you by thats when you think I’m pretending playing a role but your so far up your ass by this time you have no idea where you are and how to get out. this especially is more likely to occur if we don’t aknowledge our hate early on , you may feel coldness to people who have only showed you kindness, maybe cause you felt repressed by it somehow and did’t feel you would keep receiving that kindness if you showed them another part of your personality this of course may probably not be true , you may even be embraced by your freinds e.c.t… I ‘m speaking only from experience and hope some of this is relevant and can help, if it is please let me know, it’ll make me feel better about the reply’s i keep filling up, is this okay to do this kinda of thing? Sure. I for one enjoy a fresh viewpoint every time. I’m not sure if theres a code I should be following so’s Bwahahahahahaha!! If you latch onto a copy, I’ll pay you handsomely for it 8). I’ve been needing one for years.
.. I love that word "handsome" and its family, its so civil and respectful .. mmmm do you have a saber and know Robin of Sherwood… I am puck , I live in the forest with only animal freinds and I am intrigued by you… ( shit ,where’s the rubber mallet,… doing!!!! ..thats better, sorry )…bye averti.. ..gristle, I must fly home as the deer is calving and "opal the fish of opal pond " has something he wants to tell me.. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – p.s, possesion is a denial you might be inclined to beleive because it feels so powerful and alien to you or your idea of you -which is the real oppressor.I used to strongly believe in these possibilities and explored this area and the whole mystical area does add up and make sense but its a lie me’s thinks, I’ve studied it a good deal too, and I kinda concluded that it’s adjustable; you stretch it or bend it to fit your psychic needs and agenda. its you who are amazing and have many powerful ,undiscovered qualities , why externalise them its not I like that. a.
Response:
kind and gentle I greatly aspire to be, even if it means givig out a bit of honesty that may hurt for a while…. I don’t see myself as you see me, as Primrose sees me, nor Domino, nor e….. i just can’t see it….I *feel* like a pretender I have this too,continuasly playing a part. We are made up of all different emotions ,we have the the possibility of the whole span ,
That’s very well said. We’re all fully qualified pretenders–and some of us pretend to be less than we are. We pretend to ourselves. When I ”met” Beauty a couple months ago, I praised her (briefly, not soppily 8)) for various qualities I saw: ”you’re this, that’ and the other” I gushed. The reply was perfectly reasonable: ”Thanks but I don’t think I’m all those things…” It came to me that I say pretty near the same things when somebody tells ME they think I’m this, that, and the other. Imagine if all this denial could be harnessed for peaceful means 8). people have felt all feelings for years ,they even wrote a dictionary with them all in and words explaining there meaning so that we may RELATE to them and UNDERSTAND, you are allowed to feel total utter hatred , you may well feel evil ,really evil till you scare yourself that much you think your charles manson or jeffrey dahlmer but once your relaxed you realise your not like charles manson, or jeff (a hem)
My rap on this part is ”fantasy is free.” Nobody can ding you for whatever radical things you concoct in your own imagination. Indeed, it’s probably better to let that Manson part out for some exercise once in a while; he’s not going to go over the wall. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -you may feel capable of that sophisticated manipulation, hey, you may be really smart…. and know how easy it is to deceive people…this can sometimes make you feel really powerfull and if your feeling evil you can have contempt really big contempt for the people who don’t "recognise" how your feeling then you feel terribly anti-social it can get harder and harder to slip into that polite sweet creature people are always rewarding you by thats when you think I’m pretending playing a role but your so far up your ass by this time you have no idea where you are and how to get out. this especially is more likely to occur if we don’t aknowledge our hate early on , you may feel coldness to people who have only showed you kindness, maybe cause you felt repressed by it somehow and did’t feel you would keep receiving that kindness if you showed them another part of your personality this of course may probably not be true , you may even be embraced by your freinds e.c.t… I ‘m speaking only from experience and hope some of this is relevant and can help, if it is please let me know, it’ll make me feel better about the reply’s i keep filling up, is this okay to do this kinda of thing?
Sure. I for one enjoy a fresh viewpoint every time. I’m not sure if theres a code I should be following so’s
Bwahahahahahaha!! If you latch onto a copy, I’ll pay you handsomely for it 8). I’ve been needing one for years… p.s, possesion is a denial you might be inclined to beleive because it feels so powerful and alien to you or your idea of you -which is the real oppressor.I used to strongly believe in these possibilities and explored this area and the whole mystical area does add up and make sense but its a lie me’s thinks,
I’ve studied it a good deal too, and I kinda concluded that it’s adjustable; you stretch it or bend it to fit your psychic needs and agenda. its you who are amazing and have many powerful ,undiscovered qualities , why externalise them its not
I like that. a.
Response:
Averti, scroll down a bit ! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – kind and gentle I greatly aspire to be, even if it means givig out a bit of honesty that may hurt for a while…. I don’t see myself as you see me, as Primrose sees me, nor Domino, nor e….. i just can’t see it….I *feel* like a pretender I have this too,continuasly playing a part. We are made up of all different emotions ,we have the the possibility of the whole span , That’s very well said. We’re all fully qualified pretenders–and some of us pretend to be less than we are. We pretend to ourselves.
Averti….I got lost on these 2 parts, not sure what you meant…* please explain. .I am new here ,I’ve read a few posts and you all seem to know each other well, can you tell me anything about the history of the group ,I like this group , I get a good feeling ,people seem alive ! and interested in living , If your a bit green about where your condition lies you can easily end up in depression recovery which i did for a minute.What a great group this is, would you of believed it. Was it stange meeting one of the group in daylight??? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -* When I ”met” Beauty a couple months ago, I praised her (briefly, not soppily 8)) for various qualities I saw: ”you’re this, that’ and the other” I gushed. * The reply was perfectly reasonable: ”Thanks but I don’t think I’m all those things…” * It came to me that I say pretty near the same things when somebody tells ME they think I’m this, that, and the other. * Imagine if all this denial could be harnessed for peaceful means 8). people have felt all feelings for years ,they even wrote a dictionary with them all in and words explaining there meaning so that we may RELATE to them and UNDERSTAND, you are allowed to feel total utter hatred , you may well feel evil ,really evil till you scare yourself that much you think your charles manson or jeffrey dahlmer but once your relaxed you realise your not like charles manson, or jeff (a hem) My rap on this part is ”fantasy is free.” Nobody can ding you for whatever radical things you concoct in your own imagination. Indeed, it’s probably better to let that Manson part out for some exercise once in a while; he’s not going to go over the wall. you may feel capable of that sophisticated manipulation, hey, you may be really smart…. and know how easy it is to deceive people…this can sometimes make you feel really powerfull and if your feeling evil you can have contempt really big contempt for the people who don’t "recognise" how your feeling then you feel terribly anti-social it can get harder and harder to slip into that polite sweet creature people are always rewarding you by thats when you think I’m pretending playing a role but your so far up your ass by this time you have no idea where you are and how to get out. this especially is more likely to occur if we don’t aknowledge our hate early on , you may feel coldness to people who have only showed you kindness, maybe cause you felt repressed by it somehow and did’t feel you would keep receiving that kindness if you showed them another part of your personality this of course may probably not be true , you may even be embraced by your freinds e.c.t… I ‘m speaking only from experience and hope some of this is relevant and can help, if it is please let me know, it’ll make me feel better about the reply’s i keep filling up, is this okay to do this kinda of thing? Sure. I for one enjoy a fresh viewpoint every time. I’m not sure if theres a code I should be following so’s Bwahahahahahaha!! If you latch onto a copy, I’ll pay you handsomely for it 8). I’ve been needing one for years… p.s, possesion is a denial you might be inclined to beleive because it feels so powerful and alien to you or your idea of you -which is the real oppressor.I used to strongly believe in these possibilities and explored this area and the whole mystical area does add up and make sense but its a lie me’s thinks, I’ve studied it a good deal too, and I kinda concluded that it’s adjustable; you stretch it or bend it to fit your psychic needs and agenda. its you who are amazing and have many powerful ,undiscovered qualities , why externalise them its not I like that. a.
Response:
Averti, scroll down a bit !
I can do that! 
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – kind and gentle I greatly aspire to be, even if it means givig out a bit of honesty that may hurt for a while…. I don’t see myself as you see me, as Primrose sees me, nor Domino, nor e….. i just can’t see it….I *feel* like a pretender I have this too,continuasly playing a part. We are made up of all different emotions ,we have the the possibility of the whole span , That’s very well said. We’re all fully qualified pretenders–and some of us pretend to be less than we are. We pretend to ourselves. Averti….I got lost on these 3 parts, not sure what you meant…* please explain.
”Each…person..plays many parts in his time” and so on. I was kinda referring to the subject below; that often we tell ourselves we’re not such a much, while others have a higher or more positive view of us. .I am new here ,I’ve read a few posts and you all seem to know each other
Sort of 8). well, can you tell me anything about the history of the group ,I like this group , I get a good feeling ,people seem alive ! and interested in living , If your a bit green about where your condition lies you can easily end up in depression recovery which i did for a minute.What a great group this is, would you of believed it.
Yes, it is quite a remarkable group, for sure. With a great deal of range. History? Others are more qualified than I to talk about that. Was it stange meeting one of the group in daylight???
Uh oh, sloppy writing on my part. I put ”met” in quotes to indicate ”net-met.” (Even with my swiss cheese memory I’m pretty sure I would recall meeting a six foot tall karateka 8)). – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – * When I ”met” Beauty a couple months ago, I praised her (briefly, not soppily 8)) for various qualities I saw: ”you’re this, that’ and the other” I gushed. * The reply was perfectly reasonable: ”Thanks but I don’t think I’m all those things…” * It came to me that I say pretty near the same things when somebody tells ME they think I’m this, that, and the other. * Imagine if all this denial could be harnessed for peaceful means 8). people have felt all feelings for years ,they even wrote a dictionary with them all in and words explaining there meaning so that we may RELATE to them and UNDERSTAND, you are allowed to feel total utter hatred , you may well feel evil ,really evil till you scare yourself that much you think your charles manson or jeffrey dahlmer but once your relaxed you realise your not like charles manson, or jeff (a hem) My rap on this part is ”fantasy is free.” Nobody can ding you for whatever radical things you concoct in your own imagination. Indeed, it’s probably better to let that Manson part out for some exercise once in a while; he’s not going to go over the wall. ITs about knowing how radical they are in whoevers company or is there a COMMON truth, an appropriate world wide way (high mental) to treat it.AAAH when I was younger these things were"red",
?Red? I knew( felt) it all through "art" that I saw ,the silent parent, art knew everything ,made me feel okay and very assured about all my thoughts ,the best parent I ever had..come back come back I miss the special thing we had…
Yep. I know what you mean, how that feels… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – you may feel capable of that sophisticated manipulation, hey, you may be really smart…. and know how easy it is to deceive people…this can sometimes make you feel really powerfull and if your feeling evil you can have contempt really big contempt for the people who don’t "recognise" how your feeling then you feel terribly anti-social it can get harder and harder to slip into that polite sweet creature people are always rewarding you by thats when you think I’m pretending playing a role but your so far up your ass by this time you have no idea where you are and how to get out. this especially is more likely to occur if we don’t aknowledge our hate early on , you may feel coldness to people who have only showed you kindness, maybe cause you felt repressed by it somehow and did’t feel you would keep receiving that kindness if you showed them another part of your personality this of course may probably not be true , you may even be embraced by your freinds e.c.t… I ‘m speaking only from experience and hope some of this is relevant and can help, if it is please let me know, it’ll make me feel better about the reply’s i keep filling up, is this okay to do this kinda of thing? Sure. I for one enjoy a fresh viewpoint every time. I’m not sure if theres a code I should be following so’s Bwahahahahahaha!! If you latch onto a copy, I’ll pay you handsomely for it 8). I’ve been needing one for years. .. I love that word "handsome" and its family, its so civil and
respectful <smile I try. With varying results. .. mmmm do you have a saber and know Robin of Sherwood…
Truth to tell, I have a hundred swords, and I used to be a first-class bow-slinging Merry Man until a few years ago 8). I am puck ,
Watch out for hockey sticks I live in the forest with only animal freinds and I am intrigued by you… ( shit ,where’s the rubber mallet,… doing!!!! ..thats better, sorry )…
Heehehe! That’s stylish. bye averti.. ..gristle, I must fly home as the deer is calving and "opal the fish of opal pond " has something he wants to tell me..
By all means. a., who is going in an hour for r**t can*l, really 8(.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Averti, scroll down a bit ! I can do that! a COMMON truth, an appropriate world wide way (high mental) to treat it.AAAH when I was younger these things were"red", ?Red?
I missed the beginning off my post, it was meant to say ah who gives a damn,… "Red" Its a colloquial for straight forward , clear as day , confident , written in red ….thinking about it though I’m not sure if I made it up… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I knew( felt) it all through "art" that I saw ,the silent parent, art knew everything ,made me feel okay and very assured about all my thoughts ,the best parent I ever had..come back come back I miss the special thing we had… Yep. I know what you mean, how that feels… you may feel capable of that sophisticated manipulation, hey, you may be really smart…. and know how easy it is to deceive people…this can sometimes make you feel really powerfull and if your feeling evil you can have contempt really big contempt for the people who don’t "recognise" how your feeling then you feel terribly anti-social it can get harder and harder to slip into that polite sweet creature people are always rewarding you by thats when you think I’m pretending playing a role but your so far up your ass by this time you have no idea where you are and how to get out. this especially is more likely to occur if we don’t aknowledge our hate early on , you may feel coldness to people who have only showed you kindness, maybe cause you felt repressed by it somehow and did’t feel you would keep receiving that kindness if you showed them another part of your personality this of course may probably not be true , you may even be embraced by your freinds e.c.t… I ‘m speaking only from experience and hope some of this is relevant and can help, if it is please let me know, it’ll make me feel better about the reply’s i keep filling up, is this okay to do this kinda of thing?
I can’T believe I wrote all that it seems different once you’ve written and scrolled throough it a hundred times like looking at photographs you thought you looked good in only to go back and see you were wearing some subtle piece of clothing of fashion origin… once – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Sure. I for one enjoy a fresh viewpoint every time. I’m not sure if theres a code I should be following so’s Bwahahahahahaha!! If you latch onto a copy, I’ll pay you handsomely for it 8). I’ve been needing one for years. .. I love that word "handsome" and its family, its so civil and respectful <smile I try. With varying results. .. mmmm do you have a saber and know Robin of Sherwood… Truth to tell, I have a hundred swords, and I used to be a first-class bow-slinging Merry Man until a few years ago 8).
Are you really telling the truth?…were you a boy scout?I did foil for two hours once …a couple of weeks ago actually when I decided the only way a girl like me is gonna get out of this godforsaken place is if Ibecome a foil champion.I’m going back when I get some time ….. I am puck , you are Tell me why—you don’t like mondays?
Watch out for hockey sticks I live in the forest with only animal freinds and I am intrigued by you… ( shit ,where’s the rubber mallet,… doing!!!! ..thats better, sorry )… Heehehe! That’s stylish. bye averti.. ..gristle, I must fly home as the deer is calving and "opal the fish of opal pond " has something he wants to tell me.. By all means. a., who is going in an hour for r**t can*l, really 8(
. What does this mean …I found a possibility of three 1) even though the spelling is obviously not right as theres stars I thought it must be some form of expletive ; ‘ anal canal’ I thought he’s going to use the bathroom or something. 2) your going for a "root canal" your going to the dentist to get it removed? 3) your going in an hour for some canal in true dissociate fashion (ooh said that twice now) to throw yourself in "really" Out of them all I really hope its the second one … please let me know if your wet, relieved, or have a tooth ache..gristle…
Response:
Oh, Tess, thank you for this. I just found it today! – Beauty
Hey, anybody deemed beautiful by Tess is granted automatic beautiful status here. It’s a kind of mutual assistance thing 8). a. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Uh oh, sloppy writing on my part. I put ”met” in quotes to indicate ”net-met.” (Even with my swiss cheese memory I’m pretty sure I would recall meeting a six foot tall karateka 8)). A red-haired one at that . Tess V., who holds a mental image of Beauty as beautiful… — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:
Response:
Oh, Tess, thank you for this. I just found it today! – Beauty Uh oh, sloppy writing on my part. I put ”met” in quotes to indicate ”net-met.” (Even with my swiss cheese memory I’m pretty sure I would recall meeting a six foot tall karateka 8)). A red-haired one at that . Tess V., who holds a mental image of Beauty as beautiful…
– For more information about this service, send e-mail to:
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