Question:
Angel Sunday?
Response:
Angel Sunday?
I don’t understand.
Response:
Angel Sunday?
Oh — like Man Friday?
Response:
… as they did To me.
Exactly. A therapist who is not specifically trained to treat PTSD will do more harm than good. S/he will work hard to remove your coping mechanisms without treating the underlying problem, leaving you worse off than before. S/he doesn’t understand what you need. S/he will not react to your story in a useful way. S/he may discount it as hysteria, listen with scientific curiosity, or worse — "poor thing" you, which is belittling. A therapist I saw only once seemed numb. I asked her why and she said, "I have to protect myself emotionally from the trauma of my clients." No help there. A PTSD therapist will systematically approach and treat the trauma and ignore the coping mechanisms other therapists would tend to focus on. S/he will believe you, and s/he will not cry when you tell your story. S/he will take careful notes and have you tell it again and again until she fully understands what happened and how you felt about it. S/he will not baby you or let you chat. You are there to work. S/he will be committed to helping you. I remember Susan saying, "If you were so upset, why didn’t you call me? You should call me if it gets bad. If you never once call me on a night or a weekend, then you’re not really working hard." When you’re better, s/he’ll notice way before you do, and s/he will encourage you get off the couch and move on with your life. If I could wave a magic wand I’d make you forget about the people who didn’t help you and then I’d help you find somebody who can. It’s so easy to focus your rage on the unhelpful rather than on the real bad guys.
Response:
Exactly. A therapist who is not specifically trained to treat PTSD will do more harm than good. S/he will work hard to remove your coping mechanisms without treating the underlying problem, leaving you worse off than before. S/he doesn’t understand what you need. S/he will not react to your story in a useful way. S/he may discount it as hysteria, listen with scientific curiosity, or worse — "poor thing" you, which is belittling. A therapist I saw only once seemed numb. I asked her why and she said, "I have to protect myself emotionally from the trauma of my clients." No help there. A PTSD therapist will systematically approach and treat the trauma and ignore the coping mechanisms other therapists would tend to focus on. S/he will believe you, and s/he will not cry when you tell your story. S/he will take careful notes and have you tell it again and again until she fully understands what happened and how you felt about it. S/he will not baby you or let you chat. You are there to work. S/he will be committed to helping you. I remember Susan saying, "If you were so upset, why didn’t you call me? You should call me if it gets bad. If you never once call me on a night or a weekend, then you’re not really working hard." When you’re better, s/he’ll notice way before you do, and s/he will encourage you get off the couch and move on with your life. If I could wave a magic wand I’d make you forget about the people who didn’t help you and then I’d help you find somebody who can. It’s so easy to focus your rage on the unhelpful rather than on the real bad guys." ~ P Fogg "Wow, Sounds helpful, sounds good! When I called my shrink, A dire emergency, In a state of shock, seeing demented stars, While taunting starlings sung to me, Disoriented Me ~ He refused to see me for week! … that’s The Truth." ~ Twitrering
Response:
"… and the psychologists, For whom, I used to volunteer, Just ~ Laughed at me, said ~ ‘Don’t forget to vote For Kerry!’ The other, A TV star, A PTSD Specialist, Just ~ Ignored me altogether, Deleted most of my emails. … and that’s The Truth." ~ Twittering
Response:
"… and that’s The Truth. I thought, O ~ This must a game, some Odd Bedfellow’s Initiation Ritual ~ But O, Pleased tell me The Rules?! For, no, Not taught, nor I learned ~ At Gold Fish School!" ~ Twittering
Response:
… or Terra Celeste?
Response:
"Oh ~ Like Man Friday?" ~ P Fogg "… Huh? A car? Pick me up? What time?" ~ Twittering
Response:
!Be Warned! Sign Says … ~ * ~ ~ * ~ A Sign, A Boarded Shingle Hung Out TO Dry ~ * ~ ! * ! Hip ~ Mr. James Brown May Know! [But Don't Tell Dan!] Hop! * ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ AKA … Minister Of The New, New Super Heavy Funk Hardest Working Man In Show Business Forefather Of Hip ~ Hop Soul Brother Number One Original Disco Man Real Black Moses Ambassador Of Soul Godfather Of Soul Black Caesar Funky President Mister Star Time Mister Dynamite ~ * ~ Yes ~ A Morning Wood Roadside Semi ~ Otic * Dogging Arts * Fogging Minds * It’s a Star * ~ * ~
Response:
"I hear the bird sing Its staccato song outside my bedroom window, A dark morning with mind jumbled In a junkyard piled with anxiety And broken thoughts from a runaway Mind." ~ Thomas DeBaggio, From "Losing My Mind:
An Intimate Look at Life with Alzheimer’s" [p. 167] "Me, too! Mr. DeBaggio, come on down ~ !" ~ Twittering
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – !Be Warned! Sign Says … ~ * ~ ~ * ~ A Sign, A Boarded Shingle Hung Out TO Dry ~ * ~ ! * ! Hip ~ Mr. James Brown May Know! [But Don't Tell Dan!] Hop! * ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ AKA … Minister Of The New, New Super Heavy Funk Hardest Working Man In Show Business Forefather Of Hip ~ Hop Soul Brother Number One Original Disco Man Real Black Moses Ambassador Of Soul Godfather Of Soul Black Caesar Funky President Mister Star Time Mister Dynamite ~ * ~ Yes ~ A Morning Wood Roadside Semi ~ Otic * Dogging Arts * Fogging Minds * It’s a Star * ~ * ~
When I was a child, whenever there was a tragedy we could do nothing about, we would go to our church and light a candle, which I admit may be as much about calming the candle-lighters as helping the prayed-for. This is another candle for T1. http://kidshealth.org/PageManager.jsp?dn=familydoctor&article_set=278… PTSD can be treated successfully. But if it’s not treated it may continue for a long time. Some people learn that in the process of healing from trauma they discover strengths they didn’t know they had. Others find that treatment helps them develop new insights into life and how to cope with other problems. This is a good book: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/157224058X/104-6514823-5139153 http://www.afsp.org/about-us/chapters/afspny/nysupportgroups.html NEW YORK CITY (MANHATTAN) Group Name & Mailing Address: Survivors of a Loved One’s Suicide 350 W. 55th Street New York, NY 10019 Contact: Jeanette Mason (212) 246-3117 Meeting Place: Call for information Meeting Day(s)/Meeting Time: Call for information Facilitated by: Peer/Professional Charge: No Newsletter: No Counties Served: All Comments: Jeanette Mason also runs Trauma Survivors group. Call for information.
Response:
… for what one needs, A living presence ~ Another’s understanding Essential, for support, to reintegrate, After ravaged disentigration, utter fragmentation, Rips one from Known shores, familiar ground.
I remember needing to tell somebody — anybody, and then telling and seeing tears and feeling I needed to console the other, or apathy and disbelief and feeling humiliation, or finding blame and rejection in those whose place it was to protect or comfort me. When I finally sat in a roomful of women who had been in my shoes, and I began to hear their stories and their fears and their shame and frustration and misery, and I knew in my bones that they were blameless and shameless and innocent, I *knew* the same was true for *me.* I knew I had come home and would be able to tell, and tell, and tell until all the pain and rage and tears were in a pile on the floor and no longer the lump in my throat, the rock in my gut, the tortured mask on my face. We could only have done this for each other.
Response:
"… but emptiness, stark solitude, Without witness, kills …" ~ Twittering "… as some memories A will to do." ~ Sandy Bear "O, so True." ~ Folly
Response:
"… for, don’t you know? Me, I used to write, To volunteer my valuable time, For The NYU Medical School Child Study Center?" ~ Twittering
Response:
"… money, too, Without which, kills ~ For bread, no poetry earns, Only enternity, yes, but no help onw for the hungry body, Just ambrosia for the soul." ~ Folly "Ambrosia? Folly ~ Hey, some shredded coconut?" ~ Twittering O, mon cher ~ Don’t mind if I do! Merci." ~ Folly
Response:
"I remember needing to tell somebody — anybody, and then telling and seeing tears and feeling I needed to console the other, or apathy and disbelief and feeling humiliation, or finding blame and rejection in those whose place it was to protect or comfort me. When I finally sat in a roomful of women who had been in my shoes, and I began to hear their stories and their fears and their shame and frustration and misery, and I knew in my bones that they were blameless and shameless and innocent, I *knew* the same was true for *me.* I knew I had come home and would be able to tell, and tell, and tell until all the pain and rage and tears were in a pile on the floor and no longer the lump in my throat, the rock in my gut, the tortured mask on my face. We could only have done this for each other." ~ P Fogg "But O, I think, trained professionals, too, Should do for you. If not, They should refund your money ~ Or at least, Bring you no further harm." ~ Twittering
Response:
… as they did To me.
Response:
"… for, don’t you know? Me, I used to write, To volunteer my valuable time, For The NYU Medical School Child Study Center? My time, my heart, my loyalty, They did not appreciate. So rude, so mean, They were to me." ~ Twittering
Response:
"… a partial Story." ~ Folly
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – "I remember needing to tell somebody — anybody, and then telling and seeing tears and feeling I needed to console the other, or apathy and disbelief and feeling humiliation, or finding blame and rejection in those whose place it was to protect or comfort me. When I finally sat in a roomful of women who had been in my shoes, and I began to hear their stories and their fears and their shame and frustration and misery, and I knew in my bones that they were blameless and shameless and innocent, I *knew* the same was true for *me.* I knew I had come home and would be able to tell, and tell, and tell until all the pain and rage and tears were in a pile on the floor and no longer the lump in my throat, the rock in my gut, the tortured mask on my face. We could only have done this for each other." ~ P Fogg "But O, I think, trained professionals, too, Should do for you. If not, They should refund your money ~ Or at least, Bring you no further harm." ~ Twittering
Yeah. Back then, and maybe now too, you could only be in a support group if you were also in therapy. Most therapists do not have the training they need to successfully treat PTSD. Before Susan, I saw several relatively effective therapists who were no help at all for my PTSD. This again is the link to my former therapist, who has given me several good referrals for friends far away. E-mail her. (She won’t remember me — it was a long time ago.) http://www.psych-shs.duke.edu/faculty/clinfacultyroth.html Or better yet: I got her name from my local RCC. They told me she was the best, and they were right. They are in a unique position to know.
Response:
"… for, cogency, clarity, coherency ~ One needs to mend, To re-glue, reassemble, one’s far-flung broken pieces, Storm-tossed sea-floating flotsam, Back together again! Perhaps, Elmer’s Glue, or Legal Aid you, too, offer? For, my tether, My rope, my cord ~ Ripped, cut, severed, And still, I drift, I float, Without a life saver, Savior, Or jacket ~ Just me and Folly, Together, far-flung, Alone …" ~ Twittering "… but poetry, We read, we write, to mend our broken way, Heal each day, or as Mr. Clark Coolidge says, in ‘Solution Passage’ ~ "One shoe tight and one show thin write through the place where the eyes go in the Lost not in a muddle where it is, just you here in middle chair, having run a book through your brightness In the avenue that is birds in flight, or fish in straight, the bulbs are abrim and grow in their wetness If it is not fit to read then witness …’ ~ Clark Coolidge, From ‘Thread and Coaxless Day: Three Poems,’ From ‘Solution Passage: Poems 1978-1981′
[p. 257] … so alas, Will you be our witness? For, yes, We are very wet, and know ~ Ms. Guppy needs fresh water!" ~ Folly "… and O, Folly, Our knapsack, yes, a year later, Almost empty Now." ~ Twittering "… for no loss Is original, or made simpler To grasp …" ~ Sandy Bear
Response:
Thanks, good sources For help! But just ask me ~ Those places To void, who’ll only Harm you!
Response:
… for what one needs, A living presence ~ Another’s understanding Essential, for support, to reintegrate, After ravaged disentigration, utter fragmentation, Rips one from Known shores, familiar ground.
Response:
And the AFSP." ~ P Fogg "Thanks, good sources For help! But just ask me ~ Those places To avoid, who’ll only Hurt you, bring you further harm! … for what one needs, A living presence ~ Another’s understanding, Yes, Essential, for support, to reintegrate, After ravaged disintegration, Utter fragmentation, Rips one from known Shores, familiar ground. For, cogency, clarity, coherency ~ One needs to mend, To re-glue, reassemble, one’s far-flung broken pieces, Storm-tossed sea-floating flotsam, Back together again! Perhaps, Elmer’s Glue, or Legal Aid you, too, offer? For, my tether, My rope, my cord ~ Ripped, cut, severed, And still, I drift, I float, Without a life saver, Savior, Or jacket ~ Just me and Folly, Together, far-flung, Alone …" ~ Twittering
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