Question:
Sam-e? St. Johns Wort? I am treating myself because the counseling industry leaves alot ot be desired. Too much one size fits all. I am not complacent, compliant, passive. Anybody else do a journal? Anybody else doing this journey on their own? Anybody treating anxiety naturally? BJ "in the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade and he carries the reminder of every glove that laid him down or cut him till he cried out in his anger and his pain..I am leaving I am leaving… but the fighter still remains."——Paul Simon
Response:
Always identified with "The Boxer" myself. How about, a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries msmercury "Beej&John" <bis…@ywave.com> wrote in message
news:BYsA5.34564$A4.1043750@news1.giganews.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Sam-e? St. Johns Wort? > I am treating myself because the counseling industry leaves alot ot be > desired. Too much one size fits all. > I am not complacent, compliant, passive. > Anybody else do a journal? > Anybody else doing this journey on their own? > Anybody treating anxiety naturally? > BJ > "in the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade > and he carries the reminder > of every glove that laid him down or cut him till he cried out > in his anger and his pain..I am leaving I am leaving… > but the fighter still remains."——Paul Simon
Response:
Well that sounds great! If it just worked. If I could be Data or Mr. Spock…..Yeah thats the ticket…instead of responding so severely when life throws one of its curves others seem to sail through…sigh…and even tho I keep repeating..I will stay isolated..I will stay isolated… One of my greatest joys(I have been a musician for 20 years) is when I play a VFW I instantly relate to how many folks are non complainers..just trying to get some peace..I KNOW. Ya know? BJ BJ "msmercury" <msmerc…@nc.rr.com> wrote in message
news:rpvA5.20488$2z2.3953797@typhoon.southeast.rr.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Always identified with "The Boxer" myself. How about, a rock feels no pain, > and an island never cries > msmercury > "Beej&John" <bis…@ywave.com> wrote in message > news:BYsA5.34564$A4.1043750@news1.giganews.com… > > Sam-e? St. Johns Wort? > > I am treating myself because the counseling industry leaves alot ot be > > desired. Too much one size fits all. > > I am not complacent, compliant, passive. > > Anybody else do a journal? > > Anybody else doing this journey on their own? > > Anybody treating anxiety naturally? > > BJ > > "in the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade > > and he carries the reminder > > of every glove that laid him down or cut him till he cried out > > in his anger and his pain..I am leaving I am leaving… > > but the fighter still remains."——Paul Simon
Response:
I guess I have been lucky. All the therapists and shrinks I have been to have been very compassionate and caring. Even the psychiatrist who did my mental evaluation for the state was a very nice guy. I liked group therapy the best ( cheaper) and the therapist just gets the group started and the group helps each other, a lot like this forum. It does take a lot more than 6 sessions, I was in group therapy for 9 weeks, five days a week. My health insurance covered a lot of it and again I was lucky, the Red Cross Okla. City Bombing Project picked up the rest. After tomorrow, no more health insurance, my little disability pension won’t pay my bills. I am suppose to take 300 mg of effexor a day but I cut it back to 150 so I can afford it (shhhhh don’t tell the doc!). I need a job but I don’t even like leaving the house. I think I’ll go fishing 
Michael "msmercury" <msmerc…@nc.rr.com> wrote in message
news:COHA5.18408$PW4.5853792@typhoon.southeast.rr.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> . It would take more than 6 sessions for me to > > begin to trust enough to let go, so I just sort of shut off and > > related stuff without feeling it and listened to her telling me stuff > > I didn’t agree with> When i read on here about how people see a therapist > for years, I feel > > envious in a way because I know that I have no support at all and just > > have to get on with it. > > (Oh and please don’t tell me anyone that I ought to be prepared to pay > > for private treatment, I simply don’t have the money). > > >msmercury > Ann > Ann, > I’m so sorry to hear of your plight and I would never tell you to be > prepared to pay for private treatment, who does have that kind of money? > And you are very right, it takes a lot longer than 6 sessions to even begin > to trust somebody. It did with me. I remember at first not even being able > to remember much of anything, just knowing I was coming apart at the seams > and not knowing why. Then, like you, when I first began to relate things it > was all without feeling, he said I was detached. It’s a long process and > can only be done with someone you really trust, and in my case, with someone > I can connect with, someone I can "feel" really understands what I’m saying. > There aren’t alot of those here in the states either. I’m allowed 20 > sessions a year right now, but fortunately for me, my therapist sees me at a > much reduced fee after those 20 sessions run out. Although we appear to > have better opportunities here in the states for medical care, it’s really > hard to find somebody that isn’t just in it for the money and truely cares > about helping people "get better". My sympathy is with you. I wish there > was something more I could say, but there isn’t. I hope at least you can > find some support with this group. > msmercury
Response:
On 28 Sep 2000 12:43:30 GMT, "Nancy" <ki…@cris.com> wrote: >Hi Ann! >Something you wrote shocked me so much that every muscle in my arms has gone >tense. >I ask what you believe the motivation could be, other than anger and >control, for what you wrote. If you don’t want to answer, it’s fine with >me.
I’m not sure now that this is the group to talk about it really. I have done so elsewhere but that was in a talk newsgroup and not a support group. I’m not sure it would be helpful to others. If you really want to know my views on this and the views of others who tend to agree with me, I suggest you take a look at talk.rape but don’t do so if you’re easily upset. It’s a tough group at times. It’s funny but I only said in there the other day that I’m hopeless in support groups. I think I want to discuss things in a different way from others. I have to understand everything and have a tendency to over analyse but I have no desire to hurt others while I do that. >> They insist for example that child rape is a >> power thing on the part of the abuser but I know it’s not or at least >> not always and I’m sure it wasn’t in my case. I told her I didn’t >> agree and she obviously didn’t like my saying that. So I just shut >> up. I’m sure I’ve talked to more abusers on the internet than she >> ever has and I know a bit about their motivation. >At any rate, I have had to learn to forgive my abuser(s) and know that the >abuse has had nothing personal in its content. It certainly makes living my >life easier.
I don’t see forgiveness, in the way I define the word anyway, as necessary, although I understand that others do. I no longer feel anger though, I just dismiss him as a nothing. >Nancy
Ann
Response:
Hi Ann! Something you wrote shocked me so much that every muscle in my arms has gone tense. I ask what you believe the motivation could be, other than anger and control, for what you wrote. If you don’t want to answer, it’s fine with me. > They insist for example that child rape is a > power thing on the part of the abuser but I know it’s not or at least > not always and I’m sure it wasn’t in my case. I told her I didn’t > agree and she obviously didn’t like my saying that. So I just shut > up. I’m sure I’ve talked to more abusers on the internet than she > ever has and I know a bit about their motivation.
At any rate, I have had to learn to forgive my abuser(s) and know that the abuse has had nothing personal in its content. It certainly makes living my life easier. Nancy
Response:
. It would take more than 6 sessions for me to > begin to trust enough to let go, so I just sort of shut off and > related stuff without feeling it and listened to her telling me stuff > I didn’t agree with> When i read on here about how people see a therapist for years, I feel > envious in a way because I know that I have no support at all and just > have to get on with it. > (Oh and please don’t tell me anyone that I ought to be prepared to pay > for private treatment, I simply don’t have the money). > >msmercury
Ann Ann, I’m so sorry to hear of your plight and I would never tell you to be prepared to pay for private treatment, who does have that kind of money? And you are very right, it takes a lot longer than 6 sessions to even begin to trust somebody. It did with me. I remember at first not even being able to remember much of anything, just knowing I was coming apart at the seams and not knowing why. Then, like you, when I first began to relate things it was all without feeling, he said I was detached. It’s a long process and can only be done with someone you really trust, and in my case, with someone I can connect with, someone I can "feel" really understands what I’m saying. There aren’t alot of those here in the states either. I’m allowed 20 sessions a year right now, but fortunately for me, my therapist sees me at a much reduced fee after those 20 sessions run out. Although we appear to have better opportunities here in the states for medical care, it’s really hard to find somebody that isn’t just in it for the money and truely cares about helping people "get better". My sympathy is with you. I wish there was something more I could say, but there isn’t. I hope at least you can find some support with this group. msmercury
Response:
Hi Ann I’m in the UK, and I share your problem of trying to find the right therapy through the NHS. It seems that very little of the NHS mental health resources (money and training) is directed towards trauma related problems. In my area there is no NHS trauma specialist – even private trauma therapists (which I likewise can’t afford) are conspicuous by their absence. Have you come across TACT – the Trauma After Care Trust? They take NHS referrals (though your GP may need a fair bit of persuading to refer you) as well as private ones. Their website is <http://www.tacthq.demon.co.uk>, and their helpline number is 0800 1696814. I am currently awaiting an assessment with them, and I hope this may lead to some counselling at long last. It sounds a bit as though your experience of counselling so far has been too much trying to slot you into a ready-made category, and not enough of really listening to you as an individual. Also 6 sessions is very unlikely to be adequate for someone who is traumatised, and if this is all your GP can suggest, it doesn’t seem like he/she knows much about PTSD. Pauline The message <39d2ecb8.1137…@news.cis.dfn.de> from just_me_00…@hotmail.com (Ann) contains these words: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Trouble I find here in the UK, is that I can’t afford private > treatment and there’s so little available on the NHS. I was on a > waiting list for counselling for 6 months to get half a dozen sessions > when all your problems are supposed to be sorted. If you want or need > more or want to try with a different counsellor there’s another 6 > months waiting list. It would take more than 6 sessions for me to > begin to trust enough to let go, so I just sort of shut off and > related stuff without feeling it and listened to her telling me stuff > I didn’t agree with. They insist for example that child rape is a > power thing on the part of the abuser but I know it’s not or at least > not always and I’m sure it wasn’t in my case. I told her I didn’t > agree and she obviously didn’t like my saying that. So I just shut > up. I’m sure I’ve talked to more abusers on the internet than she > ever has and I know a bit about their motivation. > When i read on here about how people see a therapist for years, I feel > envious in a way because I know that I have no support at all and just > have to get on with it. > (Oh and please don’t tell me anyone that I ought to be prepared to pay > for private treatment, I simply don’t have the money).
Response:
On Wed, 27 Sep 2000 20:42:13 GMT, "Beej&John" <bis…@ywave.com> wrote: >Sam-e? St. Johns Wort? >I am treating myself because the counseling industry leaves alot ot be >desired. Too much one size fits all. >I am not complacent, compliant, passive. >Anybody else do a journal? >Anybody else doing this journey on their own? >Anybody treating anxiety naturally?
Hi BJ, I’ve had some counselling but only a few sessions. I have refused drugs which is all my doctor offers. So now I’m on my own. I found with counselling that I really didn’t believe what she said. She said some stuff that I know isn’t true but was only said to make me feel better. It doesn’t. I prefer the truth. So I didn’t really trust her. Hope it goes well for you anyway. >BJ
Ann
Response:
You too… I don’t think relying on an industry that changes points of view every ten years is always that effective. Even tho they claim to be healers their income is dependant on us feeling they have something we don’t…some go into it just to straighten themselves out and are always in a state of…well I have to do this to be this and you have to do this to be this and believe this to get this accomplished and buy this packet of negativity to feel better… Fuck that.. I was getting the shit kicked out of me and sleeping with my boots on when I went to a shrink who told me to sit up straight….Duh. BJ "Ann" <just_me_00…@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:39d29156.12378127@news.cis.dfn.de… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> On Wed, 27 Sep 2000 20:42:13 GMT, "Beej&John" <bis…@ywave.com> > wrote: > >Sam-e? St. Johns Wort? > >I am treating myself because the counseling industry leaves alot ot be > >desired. Too much one size fits all. > >I am not complacent, compliant, passive. > >Anybody else do a journal? > >Anybody else doing this journey on their own? > >Anybody treating anxiety naturally? > Hi BJ, > I’ve had some counselling but only a few sessions. I have refused > drugs which is all my doctor offers. So now I’m on my own. I found > with counselling that I really didn’t believe what she said. She said > some stuff that I know isn’t true but was only said to make me feel > better. It doesn’t. I prefer the truth. So I didn’t really trust > her. Hope it goes well for you anyway. > >BJ > Ann
Response:
Hey BJ, The boxer here. Sorry, I fell asleep. I do that alot, just not at night! I don’t want to rile your anger towards me, and far be it from me to be a defender of shrinks, but I did eventually find a psychologist I could relate to after seeing a whole bunch of ass holes, giving up a few times, etc. One night when I had too much to drink and took a few extra pills he stayed on the phone with me all night talking me through it. That was a long time ago, and I don’t know what the right thing for you is, but I do know that at least now I’m somewhat functional. Hardly ever think about suicide anymore. I guess I don’t really have any answers for you but I was drawn to your post because I’m a music lover and that’s gotten me through many tough times. I guess I like to believe someday I’ll make it to that bridge over troubled waters and sail on by and my time to shine will come. msmercury "Beej&John" <bis…@ywave.com> wrote in message
news:_gxA5.34958$A4.1084458@news1.giganews.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> You too… > I don’t think relying on an industry that changes points of view every ten > years is always that effective. Even tho they claim to be healers their > income is dependant on us feeling they have something we don’t…some go > into it just to straighten themselves out and are always in a state > of…well I have to do this to be this and you have to do this to be this > and believe this to get this accomplished and buy this packet of negativity > to feel better… > Fuck that.. > I was getting the shit kicked out of me and sleeping with my boots on > when I went to a shrink who told me to sit up straight….Duh. > BJ > "Ann" <just_me_00…@hotmail.com> wrote in message > news:39d29156.12378127@news.cis.dfn.de… > > On Wed, 27 Sep 2000 20:42:13 GMT, "Beej&John" <bis…@ywave.com> > > wrote: > > >Sam-e? St. Johns Wort? > > >I am treating myself because the counseling industry leaves alot ot be > > >desired. Too much one size fits all. > > >I am not complacent, compliant, passive. > > >Anybody else do a journal? > > >Anybody else doing this journey on their own? > > >Anybody treating anxiety naturally? > > Hi BJ, > > I’ve had some counselling but only a few sessions. I have refused > > drugs which is all my doctor offers. So now I’m on my own. I found > > with counselling that I really didn’t believe what she said. She said > > some stuff that I know isn’t true but was only said to make me feel > > better. It doesn’t. I prefer the truth. So I didn’t really trust > > her. Hope it goes well for you anyway. > > >BJ > > Ann
Response:
On Thu, 28 Sep 2000 03:38:00 GMT, "msmercury" <msmerc…@nc.rr.com> wrote: >Hey BJ, >The boxer here. Sorry, I fell asleep. I do that alot, just not at night! >I don’t want to rile your anger towards me, and far be it from me to be a >defender of shrinks, but I did eventually find a psychologist I could relate >to after seeing a whole bunch of ass holes, giving up a few times, etc. One >night when I had too much to drink and took a few extra pills he stayed on >the phone with me all night talking me through it. That was a long time >ago, and I don’t know what the right thing for you is, but I do know that at >least now I’m somewhat functional. Hardly ever think about suicide anymore. >I guess I don’t really have any answers for you but I was drawn to your post >because I’m a music lover and that’s gotten me through many tough times. I >guess I like to believe someday I’ll make it to that bridge over troubled >waters and sail on by and my time to shine will come.
Trouble I find here in the UK, is that I can’t afford private treatment and there’s so little available on the NHS. I was on a waiting list for counselling for 6 months to get half a dozen sessions when all your problems are supposed to be sorted. If you want or need more or want to try with a different counsellor there’s another 6 months waiting list. It would take more than 6 sessions for me to begin to trust enough to let go, so I just sort of shut off and related stuff without feeling it and listened to her telling me stuff I didn’t agree with. They insist for example that child rape is a power thing on the part of the abuser but I know it’s not or at least not always and I’m sure it wasn’t in my case. I told her I didn’t agree and she obviously didn’t like my saying that. So I just shut up. I’m sure I’ve talked to more abusers on the internet than she ever has and I know a bit about their motivation. When i read on here about how people see a therapist for years, I feel envious in a way because I know that I have no support at all and just have to get on with it. (Oh and please don’t tell me anyone that I ought to be prepared to pay for private treatment, I simply don’t have the money). >msmercury
Ann
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