Question:
Hi td! I agree… It’s interesting about what we associate in terms of clothing or "attitude" with a particular lifestyle. Sometimes when I’m retreating from the world, especially at important trauma anniversaries, I forget about all this. It’s sad when I do forget because that usually signals a difficult time. A time when it’s difficult to even shower, let alone consider what to wear. My friend with multiple Harleys wears black leather vests, black leather jackets, boots, etc. I think it’s all interesting. She’ll probably just loan me some of her things for my beginning forays into Harleyland. Z can advise me on correct practices. That is so cool. In my life as an artist I dress for comfort…almost a uniform: a T-shirt and a larger than I need man’s shirt over jeans or black pants in my studio. At the gallery where I exhibit and do some of my work each week, I love to dress in my comfortable Deva dresses and handpainted scarves…like a classy hippy. The world of musical performer in three groups has me always in black. When performing onstage (always in black) I wear rather dramatic eye makeup and my long hair is usually loose. And again it’s like a uniform. As an educator, I usually wear what you think of most college professors wearing, tweedy, classic and comfortable. Another uniform of sorts. In a lengthy meditation last year, I saw myself as an older woman barefoot on a beach, smiling…wearing white gauzy yoga pants, a white loose tunic, and long loose naturally gray hair…I saw myself not in my usual black…but in white, not in high heels but barefoot…and not with pale skin and dramatic makeup but relaxed and tanned, without makeup. I have no idea what any of this means…just that in my everyday life I seem to wear uniforms and in my dreams and meditations I seem to be very relaxed and free… Thank you for the the little off topic posting, td…I had fun. : ) I love the idea of your broomstick skirts and earrings, by the way… Take care, Anne on the prairie >Z will have to come in here and give you ‘fashion tips’ for Harley riders. >;-)) She’s got that one down pat, I’m afraid my broomstick skirts and big >earings might be a bit of a hinderance! <g> We got into fashion awhile >back, while you were gone, so I’m sure Z will know what I’m referring to. >Perhaps you could ask for some black leather chaps as a gift? ;-) >td
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: "Wow … What a ride!"
Response:
"Anneks89" <annek…@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20040406030514.22368.00000567@mb-m14.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi td! > I agree… > It’s interesting about what we associate in terms of clothing or "attitude" > with a particular lifestyle. Sometimes when I’m retreating from the world, > especially at important trauma anniversaries, I forget about all this. It’s > sad when I do forget because that usually signals a difficult time. A time > when it’s difficult to even shower, let alone consider what to wear. > My friend with multiple Harleys wears black leather vests, black leather > jackets, boots, etc. I think it’s all interesting. She’ll probably just loan > me some of her things for my beginning forays into Harleyland. Z can advise me > on correct practices. That is so cool. > In my life as an artist I dress for comfort…almost a uniform: a T-shirt and a > larger than I need man’s shirt over jeans or black pants in my studio. At the > gallery where I exhibit and do some of my work each week, I love to dress in my > comfortable Deva dresses and handpainted scarves…like a classy hippy. > The world of musical performer in three groups has me always in black. When > performing onstage (always in black) I wear rather dramatic eye makeup and my > long hair is usually loose. And again it’s like a uniform. > As an educator, I usually wear what you think of most college professors > wearing, tweedy, classic and comfortable. Another uniform of sorts. > In a lengthy meditation last year, I saw myself as an older woman barefoot on a > beach, smiling…wearing white gauzy yoga pants, a white loose tunic, and long > loose naturally gray hair…I saw myself not in my usual black…but in white, > not in high heels but barefoot…and not with pale skin and dramatic makeup but > relaxed and tanned, without makeup. > I have no idea what any of this means…just that in my everyday life I seem to > wear uniforms and in my dreams and meditations I seem to be very relaxed and > free… > Thank you for the the little off topic posting, td…I had fun. : ) > I love the idea of your broomstick skirts and earrings, by the way… > Take care, > Anne on the prairie
I wonder how many of us have ‘uniforms’? As I was reading your post Annie, it reminded me that I do too. It all depends upon which of the ‘me’s’ is strong and present at the time. Sometimes I’m quite the gypsy, in my flowing long skirts, huge earings, etc. Other times it’s all in black, or perhaps my overalls, or when I’m feeling particularly tough it might be jeans and boots. It seems to all depend upon how I feel that day, which of the me’s is most prominent. Whether I wear my hair down and wild or up with little curly wisps peeking out around my face and ears. Those who know me well can judge just how ‘good’ I might feel simply by my ‘dress’. td
Response:
You have brought up a really interesting point, td. I think there might be something in this "uniform" thing too… I definitely think that there is a correlation between the different selves in a DID diagnosis and ones dress. Just like the sleeping on the couch stuff being part of so many of our PTSD responses, this makes so much sense to me. When I went through a black silk jumpsuit phase a few years back, I just bought 6 of them because that was who I was. I also bought 6 of the same white shirt because it was the identity I reached for almost more than the clothing. Now that the selves are being heard in my therapy and in my journaling and now that they have names, and ages, and sexual identities…the clothing, or uniforms make even more sense. I’ll write now a bit about the DID stuff. Anyone not interested in DID can move on if they wish. I don’t know if anyone else with the diagnosis of both PTSD and DID has had the selves made known to them or not. It’s kind of interesting and really explains a lot of my more perplexing identity switches over the years. The fact that I have 3 very different careers is no surprise. The fact that I am drawn to such different kinds of men and women as friends makes sense now. I’ve always known the different selves saved my life more than once and have helped me in so many ways over the years… I didn’t know that one of my selves was a protector, a man much like a Charles Bronson vigilante character or a good US Marshal. When the Native American healer asked him for permission to work on my healing at first he refused. He didn’t think I was ready, Then he let her. At the end of that session, he fell into a deep and restful sleep and has not presented himself since. There are at least three others who have presented themselves, two are the age I was when I was almost murdered. The difficult person in the bunch is me, Anne… I still have difficulty letting go. I want desperately to avoid living fully in the present. Through therapy, 12 step program meetings, meditation, prayer, and massage my body is slowly allowing myself to experience more and more of the present without fear. The expression "baby steps" has almost poignant meaning to me now… My PTSD therapist says that having the selves work together is part of what’s going on right now for me. Being more fully in the present, she says, will help lessen some of the PTSD symptoms. I’m not sure I believe her. But I’m acting "as if"… I thought that learning about all of them separately was what would help most but it has turned out that my therapist was right and they are all part of me…Not separating them so dramatically is bringing a new level of peace. I know I’ve been rambling on a bit. You brought up some good points td. Really helpful to me. Thanks! Take care, Anne on the prairie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I wonder how many of us have ‘uniforms’? As I was reading your post Annie, >it reminded me that I do too. It all depends upon which of the ‘me’s’ is >strong and present at the time. Sometimes I’m quite the gypsy, in my >flowing long skirts, huge earings, etc. Other times it’s all in black, or >perhaps my overalls, or when I’m feeling particularly tough it might be >jeans and boots. It seems to all depend upon how I feel that day, which of >the me’s is most prominent. Whether I wear my hair down and wild or up with >little curly wisps peeking out around my face and ears. Those who know me >well can judge just how ‘good’ I might feel simply by my ‘dress’. >td
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