Trauma – PTSD

Question:

Hi Everyone! I’m sorry I haven’t responded to all the posts about my life and my life with my alcoholic husband…been in one of those "moods" where I don’t even want to get out of bed..anyway, my husband is no longer in jail..he volunteered to go into an intensive alcohol rehab and the jail transported him there last Tuesday morning..I went down to the jail to give him the ultimate ultimatum and they told me he was boarded out that morning which means they transported him someplace so I asked where to and they told me Middletown <NY> and I knew it was the rehab…that afternoon he called me from there to let me know he went there and he hopes he’ll do fine there and he can finally stay away from the alcohol…I talked to his case manager over the weekend and he told me Billy is doing well and Billy also called me and told me the program is VERY draining and I told him "well it should be if it’s  an intensive program..it shouldn’t be a cake walk"…he sounded alright just tired..I have to go there this coming Saturday and meet with his case manager to discuss his treatment there and also his after-treatment when he leaves…I brought him some clothes and stuff on Friday and the woman at the desk tried giving me that "I can’t confirm or deny whether he’s here or not " crap so I lit into her like there was no tomorrow..by the time I got done with her, she very meekly told me she’d have his things sent upstairs right away and I told her to have a good day walked out… obviously if I’m bringing his things there that means he’s there so don’t give me that confirm or deny crap…I’ve had a few attacks this past couple of weeks and of course I wasn’t prepared for them and I almost called the ambulance one night cause the heart palpitations just wouldn’t stop and I really thought I was having a heart attack…at 36yrs old you don’t think it’s possible but it is…it finally stopped and then I slept for about 9 hours…I still haven’t called for a new therapist…guess I’m afraid they’ll tell me I have to see the one I was seeing previously..so I’m doing the avoidance thing again…I hope you all are feeling well and aren’t experiencing attacks and are having some form of a good time whether it’s gardening, reading or whatever you all like to do for peace and happiness…I’ll write more soon… Gentle Hugs, ~Chrissy~

Response:

Chrissy, if you are having attacks of rapid heart rate and palpitation’s consult your  doc, sometimes if you lay back in your easy chair or bed try to gently massage your carotid artery in your neck, either side will do, you may be able to stimulate the nerve fibers that cause the heart to function in a slow and regular rhthym this should be done with slow and deep breathing control.If you have anti-anxiety meds you should use them, if none of the above work have someone take you to the hospital. Ask your doc about this and if he/she would advise trying. I hope this helps, take care, John De

Response:

In article <20041116115036.21903.00000…@mb-m06.aol.com>, CooleWitch2 says… > Hi Everyone! > I’m sorry I haven’t responded to all the posts about my life and my life with > my alcoholic husband…been in one of those "moods" where I don’t even want to > get out of bed..

Yeah, tell us all about them! > anyway, my husband is no longer in jail..he volunteered to go > into an intensive alcohol rehab and the jail transported him there last Tuesday > morning..I went down to the jail to give him the ultimate ultimatum and they > told me he was boarded out that morning which means they transported him > someplace so I asked where to and they told me Middletown <NY> and I knew it > was the rehab…that afternoon he called me from there to let me know he went > there and he hopes he’ll do fine there and he can finally stay away from the > alcohol…I talked to his case manager over the weekend and he told me Billy is > doing well and Billy also called me and told me the program is VERY draining > and I told him "well it should be if it’s  an intensive program..it shouldn’t > be a cake walk"…he sounded alright just tired..

This is great news, Chrissy! The fact that he volunteered is a very good sign. And yes, these things are very draining if they are being done in the right way. They have to be. I’m crossing my fingers, toes, everything that it works out for you both. I think it will mean a lot to your husband that you brought some things for him. Sad that they hassled you, but I guess they were following some set of guidelines. > I’ve had a few attacks this past > couple of weeks and of course I wasn’t prepared for them and I almost called > the ambulance one night cause the heart palpitations just wouldn’t stop and I > really thought I was having a heart attack…at 36yrs old you don’t think it’s > possible but it is…it finally stopped and then I slept for about 9 hours…I > still haven’t called for a new therapist…guess I’m afraid they’ll tell me I > have to see the one I was seeing previously..so I’m doing the avoidance thing > again…I hope you all are feeling well and aren’t experiencing attacks and are > having some form of a good time whether it’s gardening, reading or whatever you > all like to do for peace and happiness…I’ll write more soon…

If you can possibly find a way to get back into therapy, you should do so. When your husband returns anything could set you off, not just the trigger of his whisky bottle, but anything to do with him. You need to be prepared in yourself for his return. Peter

Response:

hi john de, thanks for the tip, i didn’t know that about the carotic artery and i’ve been having a lot of heart-related anxiety going on lately too.  last week i thought i was going to have a heart attack, (i’m 41 chrissy, so i hear ya). will definitely try that though, thanks! kat "BOLOID27" <boloi…@aol.com> wrote in message

news:20041116134151.06125.00000376@mb-m23.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Chrissy, if you are having attacks of rapid heart rate and palpitation’s > consult your  doc, sometimes if you lay back in your easy chair or bed try to > gently massage your carotid artery in your neck, either side will do, you may > be able to stimulate the nerve fibers that cause the heart to function in a > slow and regular rhthym this should be done with slow and deep breathing > control.If you have anti-anxiety meds you should use them, if none of the above > work have someone take you to the hospital. Ask your doc about this and if > he/she would advise trying. I hope this helps, take care, John De

Response:

hi chrissy, i hope things work out the way you want them to.  that he’s opted for rehab, that’s a good sign. re:  heart attacks?  ptsd symptoms can be pretty intense sometimes. *shaking my head, frowning* good luck to you  though, & thanks for the update. best, kat "CooleWitch2" <coolewit…@aol.com> wrote in message

news:20041116115036.21903.00000147@mb-m06.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Everyone! > I’m sorry I haven’t responded to all the posts about my life and my life with > my alcoholic husband…been in one of those "moods" where I don’t even want to > get out of bed..anyway, my husband is no longer in jail..he volunteered to go > into an intensive alcohol rehab and the jail transported him there last Tuesday > morning..I went down to the jail to give him the ultimate ultimatum and they > told me he was boarded out that morning which means they transported him > someplace so I asked where to and they told me Middletown <NY> and I knew it > was the rehab…that afternoon he called me from there to let me know he went > there and he hopes he’ll do fine there and he can finally stay away from the > alcohol…I talked to his case manager over the weekend and he told me Billy is > doing well and Billy also called me and told me the program is VERY draining > and I told him "well it should be if it’s  an intensive program..it shouldn’t > be a cake walk"…he sounded alright just tired..I have to go there this coming > Saturday and meet with his case manager to discuss his treatment there and also > his after-treatment when he leaves…I brought him some clothes and stuff on > Friday and the woman at the desk tried giving me that "I can’t confirm or deny > whether he’s here or not " crap so I lit into her like there was no > tomorrow..by the time I got done with her, she very meekly told me she’d have > his things sent upstairs right away and I told her to have a good day walked > out… obviously if I’m bringing his things there that means he’s there so > don’t give me that confirm or deny crap…I’ve had a few attacks this past > couple of weeks and of course I wasn’t prepared for them and I almost called > the ambulance one night cause the heart palpitations just wouldn’t stop and I > really thought I was having a heart attack…at 36yrs old you don’t think it’s > possible but it is…it finally stopped and then I slept for about 9 hours…I > still haven’t called for a new therapist…guess I’m afraid they’ll tell me I > have to see the one I was seeing previously..so I’m doing the avoidance thing > again…I hope you all are feeling well and aren’t experiencing attacks and are > having some form of a good time whether it’s gardening, reading or whatever you > all like to do for peace and happiness…I’ll write more soon… > Gentle Hugs, > ~Chrissy~

Response:

Rose Marie, wrong answer you should always say this chest pain and difficulty breathing, never give them a diagnosis they(many) really dont’ care besides coming up with the right diagnosis is their job not your’s,if you tend to hyperventillate carry around a simple brown bag to breathe into, it just might work on occassion, be well, John De

Response:

sometimes a very simple, honest response can get one so much crap….it’s truly unbelieveable at times.  I’ve been there, John De…..one of those kill the messenger type of thingie. breathe….just breathe.  We all need a break now and then. Donna

Response:

Hi John De! > Rose Marie, wrong answer you should always say this chest pain and > difficulty breathing, never give them a diagnosis they(many) really > dont’ care besides coming up with the right diagnosis is their job not > your’s,

Ain’t that the truth? It took me a really long time to learn that doctors don’t like to hear more than the symptoms from a patient.  Apparently, diagnoses from patients gets in the way of any God-like personal opinion of themselves. I always try to present symptoms, and lots of them.  With PTSD, the tendancy is to tell the MDs what is wrong and hide the symptoms.  Works much better to just give them all the gory details for them to arrive at the same conclusion that I have. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy

Response:

Rose Marie, thank you for telling me I am your trigger, rest assured  that I will not cause ( knowingly) anyone in this group to be triggered, be well, stay healthy, John De

Response:

Donna, thank you. Stay Healthy, John De

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -CooleWitch2 wrote: > Hi Everyone! > I’m sorry I haven’t responded to all the posts about my life and my life with > my alcoholic husband…been in one of those "moods" where I don’t even want to > get out of bed..anyway, my husband is no longer in jail..he volunteered to go > into an intensive alcohol rehab and the jail transported him there last Tuesday > morning..I went down to the jail to give him the ultimate ultimatum and they > told me he was boarded out that morning which means they transported him > someplace so I asked where to and they told me Middletown <NY> and I knew it > was the rehab…that afternoon he called me from there to let me know he went > there and he hopes he’ll do fine there and he can finally stay away from the > alcohol…I talked to his case manager over the weekend and he told me Billy is > doing well and Billy also called me and told me the program is VERY draining > and I told him "well it should be if it’s  an intensive program..it shouldn’t > be a cake walk"…he sounded alright just tired..I have to go there this coming > Saturday and meet with his case manager to discuss his treatment there and also > his after-treatment when he leaves…I brought him some clothes and stuff on > Friday and the woman at the desk tried giving me that "I can’t confirm or deny > whether he’s here or not " crap so I lit into her like there was no > tomorrow..by the time I got done with her, she very meekly told me she’d have > his things sent upstairs right away and I told her to have a good day walked > out… obviously if I’m bringing his things there that means he’s there so > don’t give me that confirm or deny crap…I’ve had a few attacks this past > couple of weeks and of course I wasn’t prepared for them and I almost called > the ambulance one night cause the heart palpitations just wouldn’t stop and I > really thought I was having a heart attack…at 36yrs old you don’t think it’s > possible but it is…it finally stopped and then I slept for about 9 hours…I > still haven’t called for a new therapist…guess I’m afraid they’ll tell me I > have to see the one I was seeing previously..so I’m doing the avoidance thing > again…I hope you all are feeling well and aren’t experiencing attacks and are > having some form of a good time whether it’s gardening, reading or whatever you > all like to do for peace and happiness…I’ll write more soon… > Gentle Hugs, > ~Chrissy~

Well I hope it works out for you and your family.  I’d say draw a bath and get some epsom salts.  Soak in the tub and play your favorite music and maybe burn some incense.  Your system is irritated and you need to go to the spa or get a massage or take a nice bath and just lay there on your bed all warm and tell yourself it’s ok.  Have a cup of camomile before bed time.  It won’t be over after he detoxes I’d say go to DALnet and visit the #AA chan on the irc.  Tell Cara Orien sent you.  They are the best bunch of all.  Check out the AA meetings IRL and make certain to get to know them so that when your husband returns then you can introduce him to them.  Abstainance is impossible to maintain without support from others in the same fix you are in.  There are somethings he can talk to his AA buddies about that you aren’t going to understand. He’ll be able to talk to someone who understands what it is like and have a good time without the booze.  Once he knows that it’s possible to quit drinking and people are there for him who have been in the same mess or worse that he can talk to and try to figure how to live the rest of his life.  Then it will be easier for him to maintain abstainance. Most people do not use drugs because they want to frack up their lives but they want to not feel so much pain.  They think they can get rid of the pain by using their substance and then they feel guilty and drink more to make themselves feel better.  Deep down they know that the only people who will accept them are fellow druggies.  Getting themselves into potentially life threatening situations and find that their prediction becomes a self fullfilling prophesy. Every day he’ll have to fight the big a that used to own his life.  Yet he’ll find other reasons that it is worth the fight.  He needs someone to call if he is considering taking a drink.  AA provides that also you need to talk with the wives of other alcoholics too because they’ll come over when you simply need someone to be there for you.

Response:

Related Posts