Trauma – PTSD

Question:

I talk alot about trying to ‘figure things out’ and I also talk in sessions about how I have to know what is going on. FINALLY, I have a therapist who understands what I mean and doesn’t say ‘no, you don’t have to figure things out’ (annoying, yes I _do_ or I wouldn’t be saying that !) or ‘what do you mean, ‘figure out’, this isn’t something to figure out’ (really dumb, of _course_ it is, everything is!!!) So, my therapist said that this is because when I was growing up things were so unpredictable I spent so much time trying to just figure out what was coming next and how I fit into it. Ok, that’s the intellectual aspect of it (I always like things to have an intellectual bit:) and I understand that completely. _Then_ he said that I should just tell him what to do so I don’t _have_ to waste all this time/energy on figuring things out!!! FAR OUT! Like, he sits on the right side of the room so I can get out the door if I have to now, and he tells me if he’s going to do something like get up or move or whatever, and he tells me what he’s doing if I can’t see him (like if he leaves the room to get coffee) and he asks if he Basically, he does things so I don’t have to be so hyper everything now Yesterday we were doing imagery stuff, so he sat on the right side so I could close my eyes (otherwise I can’t just in case he moves and it startles me and he is between me and the door) and then when I was crying he said ‘if it’s ok, I’d like to put the kleenx by your arm and put a kleenx in your hand’ (cause my eyes were shut so I couldn’t see the kleenx) and then at the end he was going to turn on the lights and he said ‘now I’m going to move over to the light switch to turn on I didn’t even _once_ have to pay attention to what was going on in the room so I could put all my attention on what I was figuring out inside! It was fantastic! I can just have these PTSD symptoms and not even have to think about them because they never get triggered! I figure if he keeps this up they will go away because I’m not paying attention to them any more *yipee* It certainly never worked to try to make them go away by paying attention to them. So, at the end I told him all this and told him it felt very safe (even therapists need alittle positive reinforcement every now and then *grin*) Rainbow Colors (Jill) —      I choose to post non-anon because my abusers are afraid.      They would have to admit something happened in order to      confront me; this they will never do. They are the only      people who will be upset if they know who I am, and they      are too afraid to admit to what they did.                        Black of Rainbow Colors

Response:

I remember in our first session in the new office my therapist sat in a swivel chair next to her desk while we talked. It made me feel like I was being interviewed or something. It also was a block to the door.

I’m reading a book called `The Magic Daughter’, and have another in the stack called `Jennifer and her Selves’. MD has a section where she talks about her therp and issues surrounding safety and distance. I mentioned it to her the next time and she immediately moved to another chair in the office away from the desk and not blocking the door. There really are some "on the ball" therapists!

My SO’s therp is pretty petite (ok, bloody tiny) and not imposing in any way.  She lets her bring the dog to sessions, and that makes her feel even more comfy.  [Check my web page for pictures ] http://www.netaxs.com/~jeffv              http://www.netaxs.com/~nukefish lefty guitar info, musical humor          song parodies, as heard on Stern show

Response:

Of course then there’s the clients who are too backward to say something feels wrong or to mention that they don’t like where the therp is sitting.  That’s us.  Just like always, everyone else is right.  Don’t question… Sheesh.  I bet my therp would be nice about this sort of stuff, but I don’t ask. one of Banyan

Response:

Gee…I think I would have run the other way real fast form that gut too! Good job, Lizard From Mirror – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m reading a book called `The Magic Daughter’, and have another in the stack called `Jennifer and her Selves’. MD has a section where she talks about her therp and issues surrounding safety and distance. I mentioned it to her the next time and she immediately moved to another chair in the office away from the desk and not blocking the door. There really are some "on the ball" therapists! My SO’s therp is pretty petite (ok, bloody tiny) and not imposing in any way.  She lets her bring the dog to sessions, and that makes her feel even more comfy.  [Check my web page for pictures ] Maybe we should start a thread on The Things Therps Do, or something… ‘Cause it sounds like there are some amazing therps out there and I _know_ there are some therps (especially some I’ve seen in the past) who could use a lesson or two.  BTW, got a cool therp now. If I had to list a thing that I hated most from a therp: It was the first time I told a counselor that my stepfather had sexually abused me, he said I obviously had a problem with forgiveness or I wouldn’t remember what had happened.  I didn’t bother going back.   Gee, 10 years later my mother (if that’s what you call her) said the same thing!  They must have gone to the same school:  Psychos ‘R Us. Sorry, this was supposed to be positive.  Signing off quickly… Lizard — The point is you made *me*…. I keep my name because it is for others to rename me when they finally accept that… Tyrathect *won.* (Flenser/Tyrathect, A Fire Upon the Deep, by Vernor Vinge)

Response:

I’m reading a book called `The Magic Daughter’, and have another in the stack called `Jennifer and her Selves’.

never saw The Magic Daughter.  Jennifer and her Selves made us want to *scream*.  bad therapy bad therapy bad therapy (btw, it was done early enough that folks were still stumbling around trying to figure out what good therapy *is*). they put her on *display* fer gawds sake!!!!!  they had this meeting where they invited a whole bunch of friends and colleagues–anyone they thought might be interested in the freak show, and then they called her in and had her switch on demand.  these were her therapists who were doing this!  it *infuriated* us. sure, she got better by the end (they wouldn’t have written a book if she hadn’t…), but she went through a whole bunch of stuff that put her in danger in the process.  we suspect that if her therapist had had good boundaries, and if she had been treated according to currently accepted best practices, she would *not* have been exposed to that danger.  maybe we’re wrong, but this was our reaction. bad therapy bad book bad therapy bad book bad therapy bad book…              pink bunnies                 /   ~ )    All conditions are temporary                //|  (                                                                       `o’_* — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:

Response:

never saw The Magic Daughter.  Jennifer and her Selves made us want to *scream*.  bad therapy bad therapy bad therapy (btw, it was done early bad therapy bad book bad therapy bad book bad therapy bad book…

Thanks for the review.  Maybe I’ll have to print this out for my SO. http://www.netaxs.com/~jeffv              http://www.netaxs.com/~nukefish lefty guitar info, musical humor          song parodies, as heard on Stern show

Response:

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