Trauma – PTSD

Question:

Hi Ron! > > As far as relating it to my ptsd, I have accepted the fact I have this disorder > > and accepted the fact there are certain things I need to do in order to take > > care of myself. > I understood the term to mean ‘without protest,’ ‘to do so > willingly,’ etc. For me that means if I accepted a diagnosis > I wouldn’t complain about having to take medications, or > their side-effects. I would just accept this as a reality. I > don’t accept it. I just spent the past few months tapering > off all medications.

Would you do the same for heart medications? for diabetes medications?  IMO, taking my PTSD meds as prescribed is just as important as these others would be. > For me, it means I wouldn’t complain about having triggers, > or what they were. I would just know they were a reality. I > don’t accept them. I use exercises daily to understand why I > am triggered each and every time.

If this is your way of dealing with triggers, you are entitled to it.  I choose to not stuggle against triggers, but experience them, take care of myself and move on. > If a person acknowledges a situation as a reality (a friend > is habitual late), or accepts it then there wouldn’t be any > effort to change it, or reaction to it, or need to comment > on it. I just move on.

I disagree heartily.  I acknowledge my PTSD is a reality and that there are things I need to do to reduce its impact upon my life.  I do my best to be nice to myself; sometimes my ‘best’ isn’t as much as I really need.  I do my best to be medically compliant. Having struggled against the realities of untreated PTSD for several decades, I have learned that recovery does not require struggle … it requires a refusal to struggle, a desire to change what I can, to accept what I cannot change and finding the wisdom to know the difference. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy

Response:

I couldn’t have said it better myself. Have a good day, Jeannie

Response:

Nancy Irwin wrote: > Hi Ron! > Would you do the same for heart medications? for diabetes medications?  IMO, > taking my PTSD meds as prescribed is just as important as these others would > be.

Okay, I think I’m beginning to see where we diverge here. I accept that I have hypothyroidism. I pop a pill — no big deal. No side effects. The condition produces such minor symptoms that it doesn’t affect my quality of life. I don’t think about it very often. I rarely talk about. It’s never been a source of discussion during therapy — the unfairness, guilt, remorse, etc. I don’t think negatively about myself because of the condition. I accept it. I’m over it. I don’t try to change it, or to control the outcome. Now that I’m off meds, if my thyroid returns to normal, or not, it doesn’t matter. It’s just a fact of life. That’s like the friend example. I learned to accept that my best friend is habitually late. I tell her, I’ll wait up to an hour. After that, I’ll go on with my day, or go home — don’t rush if you think you can’t make it. I don’t complain to her anymore. I don’t discuss it with her anymore. I don’t try to change the outcome by making her see why it’s rude. I don’t get upset with her, or myself. I don’t think negatively about either of us when she is 45 minutes late — that’s patty. I accept this about her. I accept that this I can’t control. It’s just a fact of life. I think this is true of anyone who undergoes the therapy styles like exposure treatment. Truth be told, it is not okay that I haven’t worked for a living. It is not okay that I try to find a career that I can do from the safety of home. It is not okay that my circle of friends has diminished to 2 important relationships. It is not okay that my time has been spent at home. It is not okay that my dreams of opening a crisis centre will never be realized if I don’t leave the house. It is not okay that doing everyday activities can paralyze me, or throw be back months. It’s not okay that I didn’t finish my education. I think acceptance is about choices. Had I been willing to accept ptsd my life would have been much easier. That is not a choice I want to make. I don’t want to make those things okay for me because things being easier had consequences for me. My goal over the next five years is to become cured/a previous sufferer/symptomatic but unaffected. I have found ways that I can exercise control over this diagnosis that allows me to live a life that I had in mind for myself. I recently mentioned my sleep was disrupted again. For three weeks I have worked diligently on it. I have gained enough control that my mood and reactions don’t vary with or without meds. I found the incident that sparked it. I’m working on the subconscious message that has been responsible. If I were to accept that sleep disturbance was just a part of my life, I wouldn’t do this. And my sleep would remain disturbed. In the past 6 months, my sleep has more than doubled. By not accepting ptsd, over the years I have gone from sleeping once every 3 days to sleeping every day — two naps actually. Some days I actually sleep a total of 7 hours without any meds at all in the past 3 months. This is not to belittle the choices that other people make, only that they are not the choices for me. Acceptance to me is like surrender. I refuse to surrender to any diagnosis, disease, or illness. I actually commend people who do accept ptsd, if that is what they want. I just don’t believe that anyone wants to be a prisoner to this diagnosis. I refuse to let ptsd control my life, or my choices. For example, if horiticulture is what you love, if you can turn that passion into a successful business, or means of support… If you can finish the day feeling fulfilled, and happy about the way your day went…. The you don’t wish to be "normal…" that you won’t feel negatively about yourself… or the world… That your needs are being met… I support you 1000% in that effort. Accepting ptsd means my life won’t be happy, or want I want, or what I need. Other people can find happiness, their needs met by accepting ptsd. I won’t. That’s what sparked when you commented that 50% of posts are about acceptance. I hear differently on this than you. I hear people unhappy with meds, side-effects, triggers, relationships, depression, life in general. I hear HUMAN SPIRIT. People fighting not to give up control of their lives. Not to surrender. My only hope for all of us, is that if someone does want to accept that they have ptsd, is to do so because that’s the life they want and need to be happy in life.

Response:

Jeannie wrote: > I couldn’t have said it better myself.

I’ve been using an expression for years, that finally makes sense to me now. "Doing the right things for the right reasons." Accepting ptsd because I don’t think I can cope, because it’s too hard, because it involves risks, doesn’t seem like the right thing to me. Not doing those things in my case is out fear. Living a life reacting or preventing fear, or protecting myself from unknown and irrational dangers doesn’t seem the right reason to be conducting my life in the way that I have been. It’s safe, but isn’t living — for me. So now I’m not sure that this is just a difference in how people see the word acceptance.

Response:

Hi Ron! > I think acceptance is about choices. Had I been willing to > accept ptsd my life would have been much easier. That is not > a choice I want to make. I don’t want to make those things > okay for me because things being easier had consequences for > me. My goal over the next five years is to become cured/a > previous sufferer/symptomatic but unaffected. I have found > ways that I can exercise control over this diagnosis that > allows me to live a life that I had in mind for myself.

Good luck on the white knuckle approach..         ————snip ————————— > By not accepting ptsd, over the years I > have gone from sleeping once every 3 days to sleeping every > day — two naps actually. Some days I actually sleep a total > of 7 hours without any meds at all in the past 3 months. > This is not to belittle the choices that other people make, > only that they are not the choices for me. Acceptance to me > is like surrender. I refuse to surrender to any diagnosis, > disease, or illness. I actually commend people who do accept > ptsd, if that is what they want. I just don’t believe that > anyone wants to be a prisoner to this diagnosis. I refuse to > let ptsd control my life, or my choices.

No one is a prisoner to the diagnosis and there is nothing to surrender to. PTSD is neither ‘good’ nor ‘bad’.  It is merely a bunch of words that describe certain mental and physical behaviors … a short hand for the professionals to describe us, our reactions and thought processes. We control our own lives, as much as is humanly possible.  Our PTSD symptoms result in various life choices which can be ‘better’, if we do not have the set of thoughts and behaviors which, lumped together generally, are called PTSD.  Making better decisions is what recovery is about!         ———————-snip ———————————– > Accepting ptsd means my > life won’t be happy, or want I want, or what I need. Other > people can find happiness, their needs met by accepting > ptsd. I won’t.

Good luck on the white knuckle approach. > That’s what sparked when you commented that 50% of posts are > about acceptance. I hear differently on this than you. I > hear people unhappy with meds, side-effects, triggers, > relationships, depression, life in general. I hear HUMAN > SPIRIT. People fighting not to give up control of their > lives. Not to surrender.

I hear human spirit also.  What I hear is folks learning how to make lemonade out of extra lemons.  What I notice is folks who decide to become reasonably compliant get happier. > My only hope for all of us, is that if someone does want to > accept that they have ptsd, is to do so because that’s the > life they want and need to be happy in life.

Life without recovery wasn’t worth much.  After accepting the diagnosis and the suggestions for recovery from its worst effects, my life has become much better. I wish you the best no matter what your path. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy

Response:

I bet the group is not aware that today is ‘Nancy Appreciation Day’ so every newsgroup has to hug their Nancy and sing the Nancy song ah one anda two anda threee! we love our Nancy! cause she writes really fancy! and makes us want to Dancieeeeeeee! ((((((Nancy!!!))))))) hehehehehehe — la nerezza cade con acciaio pioggia les gouttelettes argenture cachent la douleur y miedos ocultados secreto del susurro eisige leise Risse derSchattenk

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