Question:
Hi td P.S. I should have said pulse but with a number like 140 , I would really, really want to be looking at the b/p numbers. Having said that, good luck to all. Derek
Response:
Hi derek and td! > You brought up a good point because PTSD symptoms can easily lead to > things like hypertension and high cholesterol for starters and worse > things if no intervention is taken.
Anyone else on Lipitor for high cholesterol? :/ Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
Hi Nancy I’ve tried Lipitor and all the other "statins". I had trouble with side effects on all of them but that’s nothing new for me. Now I take Niaspan SA which I can tolerate. Lipitor is generally considered a more effective med as these things go. You probably already know this but with any cholesterol med, regular Liver Function Tests are good to get. I’ve had trouble with HDL numbers as PTSD by nature leads to a more sedentary lifestyle. I’m dancing as fast as I can so what does my doctor want out of me? Seriously though, I have found one food that has been a great help with cholesterol and it’s oatmeal (ugh). I’ve had that for breakfast almost every day for the past 10 months (more ugh). I can say though that most of my cholesterol numbers and my triglycerides have been halved in that time and that is saying a lot. I’m thinking of trying the old clothes pin on the nose trick soon. Better yet, I can look at the oatmeal and visualize in my mind’s eye… a massive triple chocolate sundae. Take Care Derek
Response:
Hi Derek! > Lipitor is generally considered a more > effective med as these things go. You probably already know this but > with any cholesterol med, regular Liver Function Tests are good to get. > I’ve had trouble with HDL numbers as PTSD by nature leads to a more > sedentary lifestyle.
My ratio is fine, it’s just the total that is high. I now call my MD Dr. Vulture … he’s always after my blood. > I’m dancing as fast as I can so what does my doctor > want out of me?
Well, I don’t buy this concept. My therapist pushed me to go outside. I do it a lot .. wait, let me correct that: when there’s no snow I do it a lot. :) > Seriously though, I have found one food that has been a great help with > cholesterol and it’s oatmeal (ugh).
Have you tried oatmeal cookies? That might encourage me to try this ‘cure’. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
Hi Kat! > OK. It takes one to know one? > Maybe I am hypervigialent but not all that self aware? I used to be > self aware. Now mostly I just feel self involved.
How about … right now you are in too much of a panic to be either self- involved or self-aware? >>> Today my big question is if I should call my daughter and ask her to >>> come out on Christmas. >>I hope that you are asking this one of youself. :/ > Yes, and I called her. She wants to see me. She was afraid that I > would not want to se her.
See: we never ever know exactly what another person is thinking. We have to talk about this stuff. Isolating doesn’t work if we care about another person. > Now I am scared and trying to stay in my > body. Disassociation is very, very confusing. Two days ago they > wanted me back in the hospital, and I don’t want her to see me like > this. On the other hand, she knows me, and she still loves me, and > she still wants to see me. In her words, I am going to "go with the > flow."
Good plan to ‘go with the flow’. 
>>The eternal PTSD question is: do we really have control of things and >>people around us, or is the control we believe that we have merely >>another illusion? > I often feel like I have no control over anything at all, even my own > choice to die. Maybe that’s a foreshortened sense of reality.
When I am in a panic about something, I KNOW that I have no control over anything and anyone. YMMV > Nancy, it means a lot to me that you and Derek responded to these > posts today and yesterday. Thanks. And I hope you are making it > through Christmas OK yourselves.
Considering that my 12 Step group decided to not meet today, I am doing fine. Very peaceful actually, as my son slept the day through on Vicodin … he had surgery in his armpit on Monday. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
Hi Kat I think that’s great that your daughter wanted to see you even though you’re struggling so hard at the moment. That is called LOVE where I come from. I’ve seen 16 year old girls who wouldn’t talk to their mothers at their best. I did notice you were trying to make a decision as to whether to see your daughter. I was thinking much the same as Nancy that this one was yours to make. However, had I replied I would have suggested that you call her as you did. You have excellent communication skills and my hope is that you will use those verbally to further any important bond. As for me, all in all, I did well on Christmas Day. Santa was good to me but then again my wife always is. It made my day to see her happiness over the presents I gave her. It always amazes me how both she and Mr. Chips came along at times in my life when I thought it was all over. New Year’s Eve will be difficult as that is another time of year I am dealing with loss issues. I’ll be okay though as this year can’t leave fast enough. It has been exasperating especially on a medical level. ER visits, intensive care unit stays, surgery and one thing after another. But somehow I got through it along with all the PTSD matters du jour. I don’t know how anyone can get through things without the support and caring from others. My wish for you Kat is that you will always remember that things do get better as time goes on. It may not feel that way right now but you are gaining wisdom every day that will serve you well as you move along in your journey. You have so much going for you I have no doubt that you will be okay. You and all the wonderful people here are always in my prayers. Take Care Derek
Response:
Hi Cecile and everyone Thank you so much for responding to my posting. I found Christmas day this year to be very difficult. I was not in a celebrating mood, and felt like I was ‘forced’ into celebrating. bececei…@aol.comnospam (Cecile) wrote in message <news:20031222201546.15356.00001312@mb-m12.aol.com>… > >Four, nearly five years later, I still suffer. > > constantly feel like shouting "stop the world, I want to get off".. > >Everything is really difficult… Is there ever a time when the pain > >goes away, when the mood swings stop and when my life will get back to > >whatever normality is supposed to be? > Hi, > Welcome. I’m sorry it’s so terrible right now. I’m sorry for what you’ve > experienced. Is there a recovery? It depends what you mean by recovery.
You don’t have to be sorry for what I’ve experienced… I have and will recover, its just, you know those times when you just dwell on what has happened to you in the past. I have always tried to be stronger than my past, to try and use past events to motivate me into strength, but sometimes its hard/ I also have eating restrictions, and have just moved to the tropics, and I find that if I’m not eating correctly, exercising and doing all those good things, then it all gets too much for me. Also stresses, like moving, don’t help me at all, and it usually takes me 6 mths to recover. > You know that you can’t suddenly wake up tomorrow and not be affected at all by > what has happened to you. You weren’t just a little disturbed by your > experiences. You were so disturbed it’s made you feel as awful as you still > feel. > So… as time goes on… you will still have your mood and memory affected. You > will still have pain. It might be different. You might not feel the need to > scream for the world to stop as much or maybe at some point at all — or maybe > only when things get super over stressed.
Is there anyone or any treatment that can help with turning pain into strength? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> About PTSD though… I do know that some symptoms can be worse or last longer > for someone who experienced trauma for more time than for someone who > experience similar trauma for less time. Perhaps some symptoms can subside > after awhile. > My psychiatrist showed me medical research reports from children who had > experienced a single event (around 7-9 years). Their heart’s regained the > ability to return to a normal heartbeat after being startled within some years > after their traumatic experience. (sorry I don’t recall exactly how many years, > I think it was about 4-5 years). > And I’ve heard of other people who undergo single traumatic experiences, such > as robbery at gunpoint, who are diagnosed with PTSD only temporarily. > In my case, the situation which put me in great fear started in toddler years > or before that and lasted so long that I not only didn’t have a "self" before > all the problems started, I’d have to live a very long time before the symptoms > would wear off. I wish I could just have a clue who I would be without the > depression and PTSD and moodiness, etc. > Of course everyone’s experience is different, and some people can go through a > same horrible thing and not have PTSD or have a different set of symptoms — > but I’m just trying to say there’s some evidence of an easing of symptoms over > time and it might help your recovery that you were a fully formed person before > your experience.
I don’t know if I was a fully formed person. I spent the majority of my life, bending to the whims of others, and at the ripe old age of 33 have only just started to discover myself – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> The other reason my doctor shows me medical journal articles is to let me know > there is research underway for medicines which target the parts of the brain > which have been affected by being living in high terror. So perhaps there will > be targeted pharmaceutical relief someday. > But for now, all of this is part of who we are. It won’t disappear. We might > learn to live with it. We might be able to function with it. Maybe that’s > recovery. > Cecile
Response:
Hi Windy! Sorry, but "bushbabe" is a word that really triggers me, and I am having a difficult time typing it. Is Windy OK? > Thank you so much for responding to my posting. I found Christmas day > this year to be very difficult. I was not in a celebrating mood, and > felt like I was ‘forced’ into celebrating.
No one can ever force us to do anything against our wills, ever again. Establishing boundaries and holding them to honor ourselves is one of the basics in recovering. Boundaries are tough, but critical IMO. > Is there anyone or any treatment that can help with turning pain into > strength?
IME, turning pain into strength is an inside job. Meds and therapy only make the job a little easier than ‘gutting it out’ without them. Anxiety was, and sometimes still is, overwhelming when dealing with my pain. Without the meds for anxiety and depression, I would be falling off a cliff again, unable to focus enough to hear my talk therapist talking or feel my massage therapist massaging. > I don’t know if I was a fully formed person. I spent the majority of > my life, bending to the whims of others, and at the ripe old age of 33 > have only just started to discover myself
My previous therapist told me that my primary trauma ‘assaulted’, at 22 or 23, me just as I was in the stage of setting boundaries and life decisions. She opined that, as a result, my emotional growth took a nose-dive. I started therapy at 49. I hope that you have a faster recovery than I have had. >> But for now, all of this is part of who we are. It won’t disappear. >> We might learn to live with it. We might be able to function with it. >> Maybe that’s recovery.
I agree. YMMV Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
"Cecile" <bececei…@aol.comnospam> wrote in message
news:20031222201546.15356.00001312@mb-m12.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >Four, nearly five years later, I still suffer. > > constantly feel like shouting "stop the world, I want to get off".. > >Everything is really difficult… Is there ever a time when the pain > >goes away, when the mood swings stop and when my life will get back to > >whatever normality is supposed to be? > Hi, > Welcome. I’m sorry it’s so terrible right now. I’m sorry for what you’ve > experienced. Is there a recovery? It depends what you mean by recovery. > You know that you can’t suddenly wake up tomorrow and not be affected at all by > what has happened to you. You weren’t just a little disturbed by your > experiences. You were so disturbed it’s made you feel as awful as you still > feel. > So… as time goes on… you will still have your mood and memory affected. You > will still have pain. It might be different. You might not feel the need to > scream for the world to stop as much or maybe at some point at all — or maybe > only when things get super over stressed. > About PTSD though… I do know that some symptoms can be worse or last longer > for someone who experienced trauma for more time than for someone who > experience similar trauma for less time. Perhaps some symptoms can subside > after awhile. > My psychiatrist showed me medical research reports from children who had > experienced a single event (around 7-9 years). Their heart’s regained the > ability to return to a normal heartbeat after being startled within some years > after their traumatic experience. (sorry I don’t recall exactly how many years, > I think it was about 4-5 years). > And I’ve heard of other people who undergo single traumatic experiences, such > as robbery at gunpoint, who are diagnosed with PTSD only temporarily. > In my case, the situation which put me in great fear started in toddler years > or before that and lasted so long that I not only didn’t have a "self" before > all the problems started, I’d have to live a very long time before the symptoms > would wear off. I wish I could just have a clue who I would be without the > depression and PTSD and moodiness, etc.
My situation mirrors yours, from infancy on. I don’t ever remember a time I wasn’t terrifed constantly. It would be great if there was some way to make the terror go away. I know exactly what you mean. When ever I get my pulse taken, it’s so high. When I used to work in the pharmacy, we had one of those machines installed that took blood pressure and pulse. The pharmacist was sure there had to be something wrong with it, because he used me to try it out, and my pulse rate kept reading over 140. Finally he did his own, and a number of other employee’s, and realized the machine was fine, but I was about ready to have a stroke. :( Do others here have problems with this too? td – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Of course everyone’s experience is different, and some people can go through a > same horrible thing and not have PTSD or have a different set of symptoms — > but I’m just trying to say there’s some evidence of an easing of symptoms over > time and it might help your recovery that you were a fully formed person before > your experience. > The other reason my doctor shows me medical journal articles is to let me know > there is research underway for medicines which target the parts of the brain > which have been affected by being living in high terror. So perhaps there will > be targeted pharmaceutical relief someday. > But for now, all of this is part of who we are. It won’t disappear. We might > learn to live with it. We might be able to function with it. Maybe that’s > recovery. > Cecile
Response:
Hi td You brought up a good point because PTSD symptoms can easily lead to things like hypertension and high cholesterol for starters and worse things if no intervention is taken. It’s very easy to be so consumed by PTSD that we don’t consider that our medical health can be affected by it even by what might seem to be early onset of old people’s medical conditions. If your b/p is still running on the high side I hope you’ll monitor it and if in any doubt at all speak to your doctor. I developed hypertension in my 30s so it does happen. Take Care Derek
Response:
Hi Kat I just wanted to say that I hope you will give yourself some credit. I see a wisdom and clarity in your thinking that is really obvious to me. I also see a level of self awareness and intelligence that can only get you to where you want to be. It’s okay to feel those negative things as you do. Geeze, are you always this rough on yourself when you have so much going for you? What I believe is that you’re on the right track to peace and wellness. Take Care Derek
Response:
Hi Kat! > Is it that obvious? I didn’t think I was showing that I am beating up > on myself.
Are you serious? You have a bunch of folks on this ng who not only have been someplace near where you are, but also are hypervigilant. Of course, we are aware when someone beats up on her/himself. Sometimes the only thing to do is to watch and wait tho. :/ >> What I believe is that you’re on the right track to >>peace and wellness. > :-))))))) > THANK YOU
Everyone who posts in this ng IMO and IME really is seeking peace and wellness in her or his own way. Sometimes we just need a leading hand to get us past the rough spots. > Today my big question is if I should call my daughter and ask her to > come out on Christmas.
I hope that you are asking this one of youself. :/ > Maybe I > should give up control and ease up on the self flagellation, for the > moment at least, and put the decision to come or not in her hands.
The eternal PTSD question is: do we really have control of things and people around us, or is the control we believe that we have merely another illusion? Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
My PTSD was a result of a violent relationship – which I was forced to flee the state and go into hiding. I went through a terrible experience in my work, was bullied by family members and was abused by a teacher in primary school. Four, nearly five years later, I still suffer. My memory is terrible. I can’t or don’t want to remember things, I am constantly irritated and unsettled. I visit doctors and they just want to put me on medication. I have things that trigger me off – smells, voices, places etc. I lack motivation and have developed a terrible negative view of people, even though I am normally a sharing, caring type of person. I constantly feel like shouting "stop the world, I want to get off".. I’d go and be a hermit if I thought it would make a difference. Everything is really difficult… Is there ever a time when the pain goes away, when the mood swings stop and when my life will get back to whatever normality is supposed to be?
Response:
Hi windy! First, welcome to the ng! I’m sorry that you seem to qualify. :/ > Everything is really difficult… Is there ever a time when the pain > goes away, when the mood swings stop and when my life will get back to > whatever normality is supposed to be?
Secondly: yes there is a time when life settles down to whatever is will be. I’ve seen it settle two ways: Recovery via meds, therapy etc. Gutting through the pain without meds, therapy etc. You have a choice as to which path you choose. I tried the second for two decades; it didn’t work for me. The first path requires a lot of ‘inside’ work; I finally ‘gave up’ long enough to start on this road. IME the choice is yours, through action or no action. YMMV Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
windy…@hotmail.com (bushbabe) wrote in news:589cc801.0312212238.37cc3a74@posting.google.com: > Is there ever a time when the pain > goes away,
Yes. Pain is short. But unfortunately……… memory is long. > when the mood swings stop and when my life will get back to > whatever normality is supposed to be?
"Normality"?? There is *no* set normality. Normality is what you, or I, or the guy next door, makes it. — Peter Lucas There is a thin line between insanity Brisbane and all other forms of life. Australia I am slowly removing this line because I feel that everyone would be better off crazy.
Response:
Nancy <ki…@coxinvalid.net> wrote in news:Xns945937D32B1E1kipcocoxinvalidnet@68.1.17.6: > Hi windy! > First, welcome to the ng! I’m sorry that you seem to qualify. :/ >> Everything is really difficult… Is there ever a time when the pain >> goes away,
No. > when the mood swings stop
No. > and when my life will get back to >> whatever normality is supposed to be?
Normality is what you, and your partner, make it. There is no pre- determined, socially acceptable "normal". Even though the "normal" people would like to make one. There are guidelines…….. there are no rules to say "Hey, this is normal" So.. no…. life will never get back to what ever "normality" it was supposed to be………… but that’s the adventure!! > Secondly: yes there is a time when life settles down to whatever is will > be. I’ve seen it settle two ways: > Recovery via meds, therapy etc.
You start with meds, it leads to stronger meds, which lead to stronger meds, which goes on, and on, and on……….. which eventually leads to death. Give the meds the flick. > Gutting through the pain without meds, therapy etc.
I agree…. do it. Although a bit of 3rd party help never hurt. — Peter Lucas There is a thin line between insanity Brisbane and all other forms of life. Australia I am slowly removing this line because I feel that everyone would be better off crazy.
Response:
>Four, nearly five years later, I still suffer. > constantly feel like shouting "stop the world, I want to get off".. >Everything is really difficult… Is there ever a time when the pain >goes away, when the mood swings stop and when my life will get back to >whatever normality is supposed to be?
Hi, Welcome. I’m sorry it’s so terrible right now. I’m sorry for what you’ve experienced. Is there a recovery? It depends what you mean by recovery. You know that you can’t suddenly wake up tomorrow and not be affected at all by what has happened to you. You weren’t just a little disturbed by your experiences. You were so disturbed it’s made you feel as awful as you still feel. So… as time goes on… you will still have your mood and memory affected. You will still have pain. It might be different. You might not feel the need to scream for the world to stop as much or maybe at some point at all — or maybe only when things get super over stressed. About PTSD though… I do know that some symptoms can be worse or last longer for someone who experienced trauma for more time than for someone who experience similar trauma for less time. Perhaps some symptoms can subside after awhile. My psychiatrist showed me medical research reports from children who had experienced a single event (around 7-9 years). Their heart’s regained the ability to return to a normal heartbeat after being startled within some years after their traumatic experience. (sorry I don’t recall exactly how many years, I think it was about 4-5 years). And I’ve heard of other people who undergo single traumatic experiences, such as robbery at gunpoint, who are diagnosed with PTSD only temporarily. In my case, the situation which put me in great fear started in toddler years or before that and lasted so long that I not only didn’t have a "self" before all the problems started, I’d have to live a very long time before the symptoms would wear off. I wish I could just have a clue who I would be without the depression and PTSD and moodiness, etc. Of course everyone’s experience is different, and some people can go through a same horrible thing and not have PTSD or have a different set of symptoms — but I’m just trying to say there’s some evidence of an easing of symptoms over time and it might help your recovery that you were a fully formed person before your experience. The other reason my doctor shows me medical journal articles is to let me know there is research underway for medicines which target the parts of the brain which have been affected by being living in high terror. So perhaps there will be targeted pharmaceutical relief someday. But for now, all of this is part of who we are. It won’t disappear. We might learn to live with it. We might be able to function with it. Maybe that’s recovery. Cecile
Response:
There is recovery. There is hope. I see it in my own life, little tiny baby steps of progress, followed by huge depressions that seem to last forever, but eventually lose their grip on me. I continue my process… therapy… meds… little routines that I can still do, (like feeding Tootsie, the wonder dog). I have days that I think nothing is getting better… but that’s not true. Slowly, this process of recovery is working in my life. _Cheryl
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