Question:
Hiya! *waves* Guess I am a bit of a rare beast roun’ these parts. My life keeps me away, and the more than irritatingly slow rate of connection from my new house. How goes it? (jus’ remember, you asked) I’m taking a logic class; I hate my new boss; I put my back out Thursday, Friday I got cramps; two weeks ago my roommate went off on me, unprovoked, and now I’m having PTSD symptoms; tonight it feels like a virus is attempting to take hold in my throat; I have more dates than I know what to do with; I’m gonna get my hair cut and drag my tired carcass to the Easter Seals pool because I’m sick and tired of the pain! and you? cheers, tb – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Wow, a tigerbunny sighting! How goes it? — Life: A board game, a magazine, a cellular automaton, and a cereal. heya liz, Glad to hear you’re doing well. Me too, mostly. tb Thought I’d mention that I spoke to Buff the other day and she is doing well. Kids are good, etc, yada blah. And I heard a rumor from someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows her that Catherine J is still with us. I hear she is traveling, but who knows? She seems to have passed into legend, living art after all. If I hear anything else, I’ll pass it along. I’m good. I’m really good. I’m better right now than I can remember being in the last ten years. Getting a lot done. Take care, Liz
Response:
I’m taking a logic class;
Excellent! I’m a logician. Formal logic (or symbolic logic) is the most exciting thing to do. Hope you have lots of fun with it. When my book is out (shit, I haven’t quite started it yet) I’ll send you a copy!! Ann
Response:
Hiya! *waves* Guess I am a bit of a rare beast roun’ these parts. My life keeps me away, and the more than irritatingly slow rate of connection from my new house.
I can certainly relate to the first. But that is as it should be. If life gets in the way of net presence, so be it. If net presence gets in the way of life, therein lies a real problem. How goes it? (jus’ remember, you asked)
Yup, that I did. 
I’m taking a logic class;
That would be fun! I hate my new boss;
That’s not so much fun. I’ve been pretty lucky that way. I generally have liked and respected my immediate bosses over the years, with a couple of notable exceptions that helped me to move on to better jobs. I put my back out Thursday,
I recommend you let it in again. Supine with no spine would hardly be fine. Friday I got cramps;
No witty comment for this one. Ugh. Cramps are not excrutiating, but they can in some ways drive you even crazier than intense pain. Frustrating and no one seems to want to be near you, much less offer comfort. two weeks ago my roommate went off on me, unprovoked, and now I’m having PTSD symptoms;
Any apologies received/forthcoming? And maybe even some reassurances that it won’t happen again? tonight it feels like a virus is attempting to take hold in my throat;
Hopefully a very short-lived virus, or even just dry air… I have more dates than I know what to do with;
You say that as if it were a bad thing! I’m gonna get my hair cut and drag my tired carcass to the Easter Seals pool because I’m sick and tired of the pain!
(((((((((((tigerbunny))))))))))))) and you?
Well, I’ve been in a "new" job within the same compony for the last year or so, with a boss who’s tough but fair; I’m healthy these days, but was diagnosed as diabetic a few months ago (now under good control); my kids are growing up and making me proud; I’m in a great relationship with a wonderful lady who has a couple great kids of her own; I’m getting tired of all the snow, although I am aware we really needed it to bring the reservoirs up. cheers, tb
Peace and strength, Tide Rider – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Wow, a tigerbunny sighting! How goes it? — Life: A board game, a magazine, a cellular automaton, and a cereal.
Response:
i just saw this! Thought I’d mention that I spoke to Buff the other day and she is doing well. Kids are good, etc, yada blah. And I heard a rumor from someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows her that Catherine J is still with us.
thank you!!! i have been wondering about catherine for a long time. and it is always good to hear of Buff. thanks for passing on this information. I hear she is traveling, but who knows? She seems to have passed into legend, living art after all.
heh… she always was "larger than life" If I hear anything else, I’ll pass it along.
thank you. muchly appreciated. I’m good. I’m really good. I’m better right now than I can remember being in the last ten years.
liz, that is great to hear. azure
Response:
My turn to piggy back Liz, I’m glad to hear all this. If you are in touch with Buff and have an opportunity, please say hello to her for me. I do hope Catherine J is doing well. She was a wonderful contributor to the group. And I’m glad to hear *you* are doing well! Take care and keep the good times rolling. jeeco
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – i just saw this! Thought I’d mention that I spoke to Buff the other day and she is doing well. Kids are good, etc, yada blah. And I heard a rumor from someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows her that Catherine J is still with us. thank you!!! i have been wondering about catherine for a long time. and it is always good to hear of Buff. thanks for passing on this information. I hear she is traveling, but who knows? She seems to have passed into legend, living art after all. heh… she always was "larger than life" If I hear anything else, I’ll pass it along. thank you. muchly appreciated. I’m good. I’m really good. I’m better right now than I can remember being in the last ten years. liz, that is great to hear. azure
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Response:
Glad Buff’s recovery is going well … she is making progress. Looking back and waking up can be a trip. There here sumbuddie wishes her well. Thought I’d mention that I spoke to Buff the other day and she is doing well. Kids are good, etc, yada blah. And I heard a rumor from someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows her that Catherine J is still with us. I hear she is traveling, but who knows? She seems to have passed into legend, living art after all. If I hear anything else, I’ll pass it along. I’m good. I’m really good. I’m better right now than I can remember being in the last ten years. Getting a lot done. Take care, Liz
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Response:
heya liz, Glad to hear you’re doing well. Me too, mostly. tb – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Thought I’d mention that I spoke to Buff the other day and she is doing well. Kids are good, etc, yada blah. And I heard a rumor from someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows her that Catherine J is still with us. I hear she is traveling, but who knows? She seems to have passed into legend, living art after all. If I hear anything else, I’ll pass it along. I’m good. I’m really good. I’m better right now than I can remember being in the last ten years. Getting a lot done. Take care, Liz
Response:
Wow, a tigerbunny sighting! How goes it? — Life: A board game, a magazine, a cellular automaton, and a cereal. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – heya liz, Glad to hear you’re doing well. Me too, mostly. tb Thought I’d mention that I spoke to Buff the other day and she is doing well. Kids are good, etc, yada blah. And I heard a rumor from someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows her that Catherine J is still with us. I hear she is traveling, but who knows? She seems to have passed into legend, living art after all. If I hear anything else, I’ll pass it along. I’m good. I’m really good. I’m better right now than I can remember being in the last ten years. Getting a lot done. Take care, Liz
Response:
Thought I’d mention that I spoke to Buff the other day and she is doing well. Kids are good, etc, yada blah. And I heard a rumor from someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows her that Catherine J is still with us. I hear she is traveling, but who knows? She seems to have passed into legend, living art after all. If I hear anything else, I’ll pass it along. I’m good. I’m really good. I’m better right now than I can remember being in the last ten years. Getting a lot done. Take care, Liz
Response:
I know I owe some of you e mail, but I’m so wiped out, I thought I would post this much here and when I get a little sleep, more in e mail. My daughter was hospitalized last night. More details of what has been happening on my site, if you want to look. I know I’ve asked you this *alot, but if you could keep her in your thoughts and prayers, I would appreciate it. Thanks…
Response:
I know I owe some of you e mail, but I’m so wiped out, I thought I would post this much here and when I get a little sleep, more in e mail. My daughter was hospitalized last night. More details of what has been
I’m sorry happening on my site, if you want to look. I know I’ve asked you this *alot, but if you could keep her in your thoughts and prayers, I would appreciate it. Thanks…
You’ve got it.
Response:
i am sorry to hear about your daughter…i’ll say a prayer for her. jj
Response:
sounds like progess to moi – keep after those bitter salty tears Liz, fastest way though the mess and into a life you love, and a life you live powerfully. sumbuddie knows whats going on :*) It’s getting *better, and seeing it for what it is and no longer wanting that sickness around me. I’ve been getting rid of the sick people, and surrounding myself with better ones who want to see me succeed.
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Response:
Hi I am sorry you had a bad day, but glad you realized something good. Epiphanies rock.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I added a program to my computer that shut down the whole system. I lost Netscape, and got rid of IE when I suspected that it wasn’t letting me download a new Netscape. I am currently using Earthlink’s version of IE. Gist of this is, I haven’t been able to access my ng’s the usual way. If I’ve missed anything important, I’m sorry. I had what may easily be one of top five worst twenty four hour periods of my life yesterday. I’ll write more about it later, but I did come to a very important realization as the result of this: I have long felt that pushing people out of my life was a bad thing. Some failing of mine that I was pushing these people away. Yesterday I realized there is nothing wrong with pushing people out of your life that want to keep you in dysfunction. It isn’t that I am pushing away the good people who love me. I used to be a terribly fucked up person. I surrounded myself with terribly fucked up people. It isn’t dysfunction that makes me unable to continue relationships with so many of these people. It’s getting *better, and seeing it for what it is and no longer wanting that sickness around me. I’ve been getting rid of the sick people, and surrounding myself with better ones who want to see me succeed. One of the top five best epiphanies of my life *g*
Response:
I added a program to my computer that shut down the whole system. I lost Netscape, and got rid of IE when I suspected that it wasn’t letting me download a new Netscape. I am currently using Earthlink’s version of IE. Gist of this is, I haven’t been able to access my ng’s the usual way. If I’ve missed anything important, I’m sorry. I had what may easily be one of top five worst twenty four hour periods of my life yesterday. I’ll write more about it later, but I did come to a very important realization as the result of this: I have long felt that pushing people out of my life was a bad thing. Some failing of mine that I was pushing these people away. Yesterday I realized there is nothing wrong with pushing people out of your life that want to keep you in dysfunction. It isn’t that I am pushing away the good people who love me. I used to be a terribly fucked up person. I surrounded myself with terribly fucked up people. It isn’t dysfunction that makes me unable to continue relationships with so many of these people. It’s getting *better, and seeing it for what it is and no longer wanting that sickness around me. I’ve been getting rid of the sick people, and surrounding myself with better ones who want to see me succeed. One of the top five best epiphanies of my life *g*
Response:
Hi Celeste; I have many friends that have beaten cancer. In fact everyone has, hey even men get breast cancer. I don’t know why but all the ppl the beat it have this certain mindset. I can’t tell you what it is cause i don’t know. It can be learned maybe even here. We have all kinds of cool Survivors here. I kinda know what you are feeling like. I have headaches and they don’t really know why. so they did a cat scan, they said it could be a tumor but you will have to wait to find out. That was terrible. Think positive and we will too. You can and will beat this problem. We will help. There is much I would like to reply to in your post, though lets just think positive and about the fact that you are gonna be ok. It’s important that you not worry. Try to keep your mind busy over the next couple days. We will talk soon, please! With healing hugs spike, the big lug. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Well, I have some things that I need to "put out there". How about good news first? I finally had a good long conversation with my "self". I came to the conclusion that I am still trying to win love from a family that doesn’t know how to love. That I still put myself in a position of weakness in my family of origin. Most of all, I came to the conclusion that I am still in relationship with my family and that it is time for a change. My relationship with my family is distant, and not very giving. It never really makes me happy to spend time with them, or to talk with them (particularly father and stepmother). I still beat myself for not calling them, for their disappointment in me etc.etc. So, I took a good look at myself the other day, and I came to the conclusion that I was becoming someone I hate. I was staying in relationship with these people because of what they *could* (should they ever decide to) do for me. I recognized that I should *not* be in relationship with people who are not good for me. (I know, basic as it sounds it has taken me a long time to get here ….) Not because I am supposed to, not because if I do I get left in the will, Not because I will gain anything. So, is my relationship with father/stepmom good for me? Well, in some ways yes, it is nice when they do something nice-pretty rare. But is that any reason to keep someone in my life? No. So, I made a pact with myself. I will not be in any relationship that is not healthy, doesn’t make me happy, or is not fulfilling. I *will* be in relationship with people who are good to know, good to learn from, or good for me. I will hold myself to no ties except those that are beneficial to me. I will not waste any more of my time caring for relationships which hurt me. So, I think (cross my fingers) I am ready to cut my father and stepmom out of my life. This is going to be very hard. (Lots of pressure to be at family reunion this christmas, and to "be there" for my parents.) Yet, even though hard, this is the next step in becoming completely responsible for myself and my emotions. After all, it is my responsibility to take care of myself, I need to quit waiting for the day that someone cares enough to make a difference for me. I am pretty proud of this choice right now. It has been a long time coming. Who knows, I may yet become someone I can be proud of. (smile) Now the other thing, having surgery on Thurs; lumpectomy etc. I am worried about the results, please keep me in your prayers. I found out I have breast cancer from a needle biopsy just over a week ago. Now the hope is that it has not spread to my lymph nodes. Please keep me in your thoughts or prayers. I don’t care if you talk to buddha or christ, or just send white healing light… I hope that all the above will help. Cancer in my family has been dangerous. Both grandmothers dead of cancer, one brain cancer the other breast cancer; and my mom had breast cancer in her 30’s. Just a note to all women out there, One in eight american women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their life. Please do a self-exam once a month. It could mean your life. luv ya all, in hope, celeste
Response:
Celeste, I didn’t see this until today. I hope your surgery went well, and you will be in my prayers until you get the results back – and after if necessary. Dragon – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Well, I have some things that I need to "put out there". How about good news first? I finally had a good long conversation with my "self". I came to the conclusion that I am still trying to win love from a family that doesn’t know how to love. That I still put myself in a position of weakness in my family of origin. Most of all, I came to the conclusion that I am still in relationship with my family and that it is time for a change. My relationship with my family is distant, and not very giving. It never really makes me happy to spend time with them, or to talk with them (particularly father and stepmother). I still beat myself for not calling them, for their disappointment in me etc.etc. So, I took a good look at myself the other day, and I came to the conclusion that I was becoming someone I hate. I was staying in relationship with these people because of what they *could* (should they ever decide to) do for me. I recognized that I should *not* be in relationship with people who are not good for me. (I know, basic as it sounds it has taken me a long time to get here ….) Not because I am supposed to, not because if I do I get left in the will, Not because I will gain anything. So, is my relationship with father/stepmom good for me? Well, in some ways yes, it is nice when they do something nice-pretty rare. But is that any reason to keep someone in my life? No. So, I made a pact with myself. I will not be in any relationship that is not healthy, doesn’t make me happy, or is not fulfilling. I *will* be in relationship with people who are good to know, good to learn from, or good for me. I will hold myself to no ties except those that are beneficial to me. I will not waste any more of my time caring for relationships which hurt me. So, I think (cross my fingers) I am ready to cut my father and stepmom out of my life. This is going to be very hard. (Lots of pressure to be at family reunion this christmas, and to "be there" for my parents.) Yet, even though hard, this is the next step in becoming completely responsible for myself and my emotions. After all, it is my responsibility to take care of myself, I need to quit waiting for the day that someone cares enough to make a difference for me. I am pretty proud of this choice right now. It has been a long time coming. Who knows, I may yet become someone I can be proud of. (smile) Now the other thing, having surgery on Thurs; lumpectomy etc. I am worried about the results, please keep me in your prayers. I found out I have breast cancer from a needle biopsy just over a week ago. Now the hope is that it has not spread to my lymph nodes. Please keep me in your thoughts or prayers. I don’t care if you talk to buddha or christ, or just send white healing light… I hope that all the above will help. Cancer in my family has been dangerous. Both grandmothers dead of cancer, one brain cancer the other breast cancer; and my mom had breast cancer in her 30’s. Just a note to all women out there, One in eight american women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their life. Please do a self-exam once a month. It could mean your life. luv ya all, in hope, celeste
Response:
Celeste+ACEAIQ- I am sorry for your news… I went that route also. It is tough and scarey but one of those +ACI-accept the things I cannot change+ACI- . It takes a while to get there.. everyone is different. I am now 5 years post and doing okay far as I know. If you ever need to talk or vent… I am a good listener. It keeps on coming, doesn’t it?? Like the energizer….b. You take care. +AD4-Now the other thing, having surgery on Thurs+ADs- lumpectomy etc. +AD4-I am worried about the results, please keep me in your prayers. +AD4-I found out I have breast cancer from a needle biopsy just over a week +AD4-ago. Now the hope is that it has not spread to my lymph nodes. +AD4-Please keep me in your thoughts or prayers
Response:
[snip] Now the other thing, having surgery on Thurs; lumpectomy etc. I am worried about the results, please keep me in your prayers. I found out I have breast cancer from a needle biopsy just over a week ago. Now the hope is that it has not spread to my lymph nodes. Please keep me in your thoughts or prayers. I don’t care if you talk to buddha or christ, or just send white healing light… I hope that all the above will help.
Oh, good luck, good light, good healing! Good health. Also, good luck with your quest to keep the positive people in your life and get rid of the rest. Am dealing with that myself these days. Hugs, if you’ll take ‘em. Jan [Who's glad to be back on what was ASAR after a long time away] celeste
Response:
Thank you spike. It meant a lot to me to get your note. Thank you, luv, celeste – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Celeste; I have many friends that have beaten cancer. In fact everyone has, hey even men get breast cancer. I don’t know why but all the ppl the beat it have this certain mindset. I can’t tell you what it is cause i don’t know. It can be learned maybe even here. We have all kinds of cool Survivors here. I kinda know what you are feeling like. I have headaches and they don’t really know why. so they did a cat scan, they said it could be a tumor but you will have to wait to find out. That was terrible. Think positive and we will too. You can and will beat this problem. We will help. There is much I would like to reply to in your post, though lets just think positive and about the fact that you are gonna be ok. It’s important that you not worry. Try to keep your mind busy over the next couple days. We will talk soon, please! With healing hugs spike, the big lug. Well, I have some things that I need to "put out there". How about good news first? I finally had a good long conversation with my "self". I came to the conclusion that I am still trying to win love from a family that doesn’t know how to love. That I still put myself in a position of weakness in my family of origin. Most of all, I came to the conclusion that I am still in relationship with my family and that it is time for a change. My relationship with my family is distant, and not very giving. It never really makes me happy to spend time with them, or to talk with them (particularly father and stepmother). I still beat myself for not calling them, for their disappointment in me etc.etc. So, I took a good look at myself the other day, and I came to the conclusion that I was becoming someone I hate. I was staying in relationship with these people because of what they *could* (should they ever decide to) do for me. I recognized that I should *not* be in relationship with people who are not good for me. (I know, basic as it sounds it has taken me a long time to get here ….) Not because I am supposed to, not because if I do I get left in the will, Not because I will gain anything. So, is my relationship with father/stepmom good for me? Well, in some ways yes, it is nice when they do something nice-pretty rare. But is that any reason to keep someone in my life? No. So, I made a pact with myself. I will not be in any relationship that is not healthy, doesn’t make me happy, or is not fulfilling. I *will* be in relationship with people who are good to know, good to learn from, or good for me. I will hold myself to no ties except those that are beneficial to me. I will not waste any more of my time caring for relationships which hurt me. So, I think (cross my fingers) I am ready to cut my father and stepmom out of my life. This is going to be very hard. (Lots of pressure to be at family reunion this christmas, and to "be there" for my parents.) Yet, even though hard, this is the next step in becoming completely responsible for myself and my emotions. After all, it is my responsibility to take care of myself, I need to quit waiting for the day that someone cares enough to make a difference for me. I am pretty proud of this choice right now. It has been a long time coming. Who knows, I may yet become someone I can be proud of. (smile) Now the other thing, having surgery on Thurs; lumpectomy etc. I am worried about the results, please keep me in your prayers. I found out I have breast cancer from a needle biopsy just over a week ago. Now the hope is that it has not spread to my lymph nodes. Please keep me in your thoughts or prayers. I don’t care if you talk to buddha or christ, or just send white healing light… I hope that all the above will help. Cancer in my family has been dangerous. Both grandmothers dead of cancer, one brain cancer the other breast cancer; and my mom had breast cancer in her 30’s. Just a note to all women out there, One in eight american women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their life. Please do a self-exam once a month. It could mean your life. luv ya all, in hope, celeste
Response:
Ya…. I came to the same place with my near death experiences. Only more so. Most of the people in the world do not know how to love either. I really like it on the other side, such hateful people dont live there where I go. And it took me a long time to learn how to make love. I still improve on it everyday. Also relearn my lessons on only allowing loving people into my life. Part of my unconscious issues I am waking up to. Alan – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Well, I have some things that I need to "put out there". How about good news first? I finally had a good long conversation with my "self". I came to the conclusion that I am still trying to win love from a family that doesn’t know how to love. That I still put myself in a position of weakness in my family of origin. Most of all, I came to the conclusion that I am still in relationship with my family and that it is time for a change. My relationship with my family is distant, and not very giving. It never really makes me happy to spend time with them, or to talk with them (particularly father and stepmother). I still beat myself for not calling them, for their disappointment in me etc.etc. So, I took a good look at myself the other day, and I came to the conclusion that I was becoming someone I hate. I was staying in relationship with these people because of what they *could* (should they ever decide to) do for me. I recognized that I should *not* be in relationship with people who are not good for me. (I know, basic as it sounds it has taken me a long time to get here ….) Not because I am supposed to, not because if I do I get left in the will, Not because I will gain anything. So, is my relationship with father/stepmom good for me? Well, in some ways yes, it is nice when they do something nice-pretty rare. But is that any reason to keep someone in my life? No. So, I made a pact with myself. I will not be in any relationship that is not healthy, doesn’t make me happy, or is not fulfilling. I *will* be in relationship with people who are good to know, good to learn from, or good for me. I will hold myself to no ties except those that are beneficial to me. I will not waste any more of my time caring for relationships which hurt me. So, I think (cross my fingers) I am ready to cut my father and stepmom out of my life. This is going to be very hard. (Lots of pressure to be at family reunion this christmas, and to "be there" for my parents.) Yet, even though hard, this is the next step in becoming completely responsible for myself and my emotions. After all, it is my responsibility to take care of myself, I need to quit waiting for the day that someone cares enough to make a difference for me. I am pretty proud of this choice right now. It has been a long time coming. Who knows, I may yet become someone I can be proud of. (smile) Now the other thing, having surgery on Thurs; lumpectomy etc. I am worried about the results, please keep me in your prayers. I found out I have breast cancer from a needle biopsy just over a week ago. Now the hope is that it has not spread to my lymph nodes. Please keep me in your thoughts or prayers. I don’t care if you talk to buddha or christ, or just send white healing light… I hope that all the above will help. Cancer in my family has been dangerous. Both grandmothers dead of cancer, one brain cancer the other breast cancer; and my mom had breast cancer in her 30’s. Just a note to all women out there, One in eight american women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their life. Please do a self-exam once a month. It could mean your life. luv ya all, in hope, celeste
Response:
Celeste, It’s good that you have reached the point where you feel strong enough to leave the toxic people out of your life. I’m sorry about your cancer diagnosis. I don’t pray anymore, but you will be in my thoughts. — ht — And if life is just a highway — then the soul is just a car, And objects in the rearview mirror may appear closer than they are.
Response:
Hello Celeste I’m so glad you put the good news first! It sounds like you are doing some heavy thinking through these days. I am sending you healing thoughts and I just lit a candle for you Celeste. Cancer is part of my history too and something I am always aware of. I will think of you often on Thursday. marbet – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Well, I have some things that I need to "put out there". How about good news first? I finally had a good long conversation with my "self". I came to the conclusion that I am still trying to win love from a family that doesn’t know how to love. That I still put myself in a position of weakness in my family of origin. Most of all, I came to the conclusion that I am still in relationship with my family and that it is time for a change. My relationship with my family is distant, and not very giving. It never really makes me happy to spend time with them, or to talk with them (particularly father and stepmother). I still beat myself for not calling them, for their disappointment in me etc.etc. So, I took a good look at myself the other day, and I came to the conclusion that I was becoming someone I hate. I was staying in relationship with these people because of what they *could* (should they ever decide to) do for me. I recognized that I should *not* be in relationship with people who are not good for me. (I know, basic as it sounds it has taken me a long time to get here ….) Not because I am supposed to, not because if I do I get left in the will, Not because I will gain anything. So, is my relationship with father/stepmom good for me? Well, in some ways yes, it is nice when they do something nice-pretty rare. But is that any reason to keep someone in my life? No. So, I made a pact with myself. I will not be in any relationship that is not healthy, doesn’t make me happy, or is not fulfilling. I *will* be in relationship with people who are good to know, good to learn from, or good for me. I will hold myself to no ties except those that are beneficial to me. I will not waste any more of my time caring for relationships which hurt me. So, I think (cross my fingers) I am ready to cut my father and stepmom out of my life. This is going to be very hard. (Lots of pressure to be at family reunion this christmas, and to "be there" for my parents.) Yet, even though hard, this is the next step in becoming completely responsible for myself and my emotions. After all, it is my responsibility to take care of myself, I need to quit waiting for the day that someone cares enough to make a difference for me. I am pretty proud of this choice right now. It has been a long time coming. Who knows, I may yet become someone I can be proud of. (smile) Now the other thing, having surgery on Thurs; lumpectomy etc. I am worried about the results, please keep me in your prayers. I found out I have breast cancer from a needle biopsy just over a week ago. Now the hope is that it has not spread to my lymph nodes. Please keep me in your thoughts or prayers. I don’t care if you talk to buddha or christ, or just send white healing light… I hope that all the above will help. Cancer in my family has been dangerous. Both grandmothers dead of cancer, one brain cancer the other breast cancer; and my mom had breast cancer in her 30’s. Just a note to all women out there, One in eight american women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their life. Please do a self-exam once a month. It could mean your life. luv ya all, in hope, celeste
Response:
Hi Celeste and Jeeco, Sorry missed the original post, I will certainly be thinking of you Celeste, my Mother was diagnosed as having breast cancer in 1989 and had a masectomy, everything was fine until last year when they found another malignant lump, this too was removed and so far so good. I actually expect to get breast cancer it is on both sides of my family so I am very aware of it, I wear a pink ribbon to support breast cancer awareness. I shall send you healing thoughts and my good wishes. I second your advice, all women should self examine, it is vital and could save your life. Sera – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Sounds like you’ve had a good conversation! Deciding to cut the cord, if you will, was very hard for me too. Best of luck with your cancer. I’ll metaphorically ring the temple bells, sing the chants and spin a prayer wheel or two for you. jeeco Well, I have some things that I need to "put out there". How about good news first? I finally had a good long conversation with my "self". I came to the conclusion that I am still trying to win love from a family that doesn’t know how to love. That I still put myself in a position of weakness in my family of origin. Most of all, I came to the conclusion that I am still in relationship with my family and that it is time for a change. My relationship with my family is distant, and not very giving. It never really makes me happy to spend time with them, or to talk with them (particularly father and stepmother). I still beat myself for not calling them, for their disappointment in me etc.etc. So, I took a good look at myself the other day, and I came to the conclusion that I was becoming someone I hate. I was staying in relationship with these people because of what they *could* (should they ever decide to) do for me. I recognized that I should *not* be in relationship with people who are not good for me. (I know, basic as it sounds it has taken me a long time to get here ….) Not because I am supposed to, not because if I do I get left in the will, Not because I will gain anything. So, is my relationship with father/stepmom good for me? Well, in some ways yes, it is nice when they do something nice-pretty rare. But is that any reason to keep someone in my life? No. So, I made a pact with myself. I will not be in any relationship that is not healthy, doesn’t make me happy, or is not fulfilling. I *will* be in relationship with people who are good to know, good to learn from, or good for me. I will hold myself to no ties except those that are beneficial to me. I will not waste any more of my time caring for relationships which hurt me. So, I think (cross my fingers) I am ready to cut my father and stepmom out of my life. This is going to be very hard. (Lots of pressure to be at family reunion this christmas, and to "be there" for my parents.) Yet, even though hard, this is the next step in becoming completely responsible for myself and my emotions. After all, it is my responsibility to take care of myself, I need to quit waiting for the day that someone cares enough to make a difference for me. I am pretty proud of this choice right now. It has been a long time coming. Who knows, I may yet become someone I can be proud of. (smile) Now the other thing, having surgery on Thurs; lumpectomy etc. I am worried about the results, please keep me in your prayers. I found out I have breast cancer from a needle biopsy just over a week ago. Now the hope is that it has not spread to my lymph nodes. Please keep me in your thoughts or prayers. I don’t care if you talk to buddha or christ, or just send white healing light… I hope that all the above will help. Cancer in my family has been dangerous. Both grandmothers dead of cancer, one brain cancer the other breast cancer; and my mom had breast cancer in her 30’s. Just a note to all women out there, One in eight american women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their life. Please do a self-exam once a month. It could mean your life. luv ya all, in hope, celeste — For more information about this posting service, contact: services If you wish to get an anonymous email/posting account, visit our sign-up page: http://asarian-host.org/emailform.html
Response:
Hi Celeste, Just wanted to say, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I sincerely pray that the cancer has not spread and I wish you strength at this time. Tempest <snipped
Response:
Hi Celeste, I just want to say that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I sincerely pray that the cancer has not spread. I wish you strength at this time. Tempest
Response:
Hi Amber – Catherine here Well, I have some things that I need to "put out there". How about good news first?
I like the good news first. I finally had a good long conversation with my "self". I came to the conclusion that I am still trying to win love from a family that doesn’t know how to love. That I still put myself in a position of weakness in my family of origin. Most of all, I came to the conclusion that I am still in relationship with my family and that it is time for a change.
Good for you – that you feel good enough to make a change, that you’re having meaningful conversations with yourself, that you want to make positive changes for _yourself_. My relationship with my family is distant, and not very giving. It never really makes me happy to spend time with them, or to talk with them (particularly father and stepmother). I still beat myself for not calling them, for their disappointment in me etc.etc.
That guilt is ingrained by society – biological connections shouldn’t mandate behavior. Respect and love are earned. So, I took a good look at myself the other day, and I came to the conclusion that I was becoming someone I hate. I was staying in relationship with these people because of what they *could* (should they ever decide to) do for me. I recognized that I should *not* be in relationship with people who are not good for me. (I know, basic as it sounds it has taken me a long time to get here ….) Not because I am supposed to, not because if I do I get left in the will, Not because I will gain anything. So, is my relationship with father/stepmom good for me? Well, in some ways yes, it is nice when they do something nice-pretty rare. But is that any reason to keep someone in my life? No.
I agree. So, I made a pact with myself. I will not be in any relationship that is not healthy, doesn’t make me happy, or is not fulfilling.
Bravo! I *will* be in relationship with people who are good to know, good to learn from, or good for me. I will hold myself to no ties except those that are beneficial to me. I will not waste any more of my time caring for relationships which hurt me. So, I think (cross my fingers) I am ready to cut my father and stepmom out of my life. This is going to be very hard. (Lots of pressure to be at family reunion this christmas, and to "be there" for my parents.) Yet, even though hard, this is the next step in becoming completely responsible for myself and my emotions. After all, it is my responsibility to take care of myself, I need to quit waiting for the day that someone cares enough to make a difference for me. I am pretty proud of this choice right now. It has been a long time coming. Who knows, I may yet become someone I can be proud of. (smile)
I think you can be proud now. Now the other thing, having surgery on Thurs; lumpectomy etc. I am worried about the results, please keep me in your prayers. I found out I have breast cancer from a needle biopsy just over a week ago. Now the hope is that it has not spread to my lymph nodes. Please keep me in your thoughts or prayers. I don’t care if you talk to buddha or christ, or just send white healing light… I hope that all the above will help.
My thoughts are with you. Good luck. Cancer in my family has been dangerous. Both grandmothers dead of cancer, one brain cancer the other breast cancer; and my mom had breast cancer in her 30’s.
Again, good luck. Just a note to all women out there, One in eight american women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their life. Please do a self-exam once a month. It could mean your life.
Good advice. Catherine
Response:
Well, I have some things that I need to "put out there". How about good news first? I finally had a good long conversation with my "self". I came to the conclusion that I am still trying to win love from a family that doesn’t know how to love. That I still put myself in a position of weakness in my family of origin. Most of all, I came to the conclusion that I am still in relationship with my family and that it is time for a change. My relationship with my family is distant, and not very giving. It never really makes me happy to spend time with them, or to talk with them (particularly father and stepmother). I still beat myself for not calling them, for their disappointment in me etc.etc. So, I took a good look at myself the other day, and I came to the conclusion that I was becoming someone I hate. I was staying in relationship with these people because of what they *could* (should they ever decide to) do for me. I recognized that I should *not* be in relationship with people who are not good for me. (I know, basic as it sounds it has taken me a long time to get here ….) Not because I am supposed to, not because if I do I get left in the will, Not because I will gain anything. So, is my relationship with father/stepmom good for me? Well, in some ways yes, it is nice when they do something nice-pretty rare. But is that any reason to keep someone in my life? No. So, I made a pact with myself. I will not be in any relationship that is not healthy, doesn’t make me happy, or is not fulfilling. I *will* be in relationship with people who are good to know, good to learn from, or good for me. I will hold myself to no ties except those that are beneficial to me. I will not waste any more of my time caring for relationships which hurt me. So, I think (cross my fingers) I am ready to cut my father and stepmom out of my life. This is going to be very hard. (Lots of pressure to be at family reunion this christmas, and to "be there" for my parents.) Yet, even though hard, this is the next step in becoming completely responsible for myself and my emotions. After all, it is my responsibility to take care of myself, I need to quit waiting for the day that someone cares enough to make a difference for me. I am pretty proud of this choice right now. It has been a long time coming. Who knows, I may yet become someone I can be proud of. (smile) Now the other thing, having surgery on Thurs; lumpectomy etc. I am worried about the results, please keep me in your prayers. I found out I have breast cancer from a needle biopsy just over a week ago. Now the hope is that it has not spread to my lymph nodes. Please keep me in your thoughts or prayers. I don’t care if you talk to buddha or christ, or just send white healing light… I hope that all the above will help. Cancer in my family has been dangerous. Both grandmothers dead of cancer, one brain cancer the other breast cancer; and my mom had breast cancer in her 30’s. Just a note to all women out there, One in eight american women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their life. Please do a self-exam once a month. It could mean your life. luv ya all, in hope, celeste
Response:
So sorry that I haven’t responded to any of the great posts today, Bikerbabe is sad and rusting the pipes on her bike from tears. I will talk with you all later, I hope that everyone else is doing great, you have all been in my thoughts today. Bikerbabe I was given this life to live, for whatever the reason, and I mustf ind a way to live it the best way I know how.
Response:
So sorry that I haven’t responded to any of the great posts today, Bikerbabe is sad and rusting the pipes on her bike from tears. I will talk with you all later, I hope that everyone else is doing great, you have all been in my thoughts today.
anything you want to talk about? *hugs* i like you just as well when you’re sad… Bikerbabe I was given this life to live, for whatever the reason, and I mustf ind a way to live it the best way I know how.
– http://www.softworksconsulting.com/mcs/ I’m not tense, i’m just terribly, terribly alert.
Response:
Thank you Silverleaf, Just feeling very, very bad right now, past few days, weeks, I stopped counting. I am sorry that I can’t talk about it, I probably should, but I just can’t. I am so tired…very tired, I really need some time alone, I never get that. Have to put things back into perspective. Must get a hold of myself cuz I have to go to work. Thank you for your concern, I truly appreciate it. Bikerbabe PS Can’t go to my therapist cuz I just found out that she moved, I am crushed. Who will I talk to?:{{{{ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – So sorry that I haven’t responded to any of the great posts today, Bikerbabe is sad and rusting the pipes on her bike from tears. I will talk with you all later, I hope that everyone else is doing great, you have all been in my thoughts today. anything you want to talk about? *hugs* i like you just as well when you’re sad… Bikerbabe I was given this life to live, for whatever the reason, and I mustf ind a way to live it the best way I know how. — http://www.softworksconsulting.com/mcs/ I’m not tense, i’m just terribly, terribly alert.
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Don’t be sad Bikerbabe I think you’re really cool! I’ll just sit here and listen to Birdland till you feel like talking, ok? Let us know what’s up, Bikerbabe. Brenda – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – So sorry that I haven’t responded to any of the great posts today, Bikerbabe is sad and rusting the pipes on her bike from tears. I will talk with you all later, I hope that everyone else is doing great, you have all been in my thoughts today. Bikerbabe I was given this life to live, for whatever the reason, and I mustf ind a way to live it the best way I know how.
– z z | z _,,,–,, /,`.-’`’ ._ -;;,_ |,4- ) )_ .;.( `’-’ ‘—”(_/._)-’(__) "Love makes you real" — The Velvetine Rabbit — http://www.GeoCities.com/SoHo/Nook/7680
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