Question:
We are having trouble talking to our therapist about what we need to. = It really isn’t that it’s not the time or that we are not ready yet, = cuz’ we are. We really need to talk to her about what is going on = inside of us and what is happening. But we just sit there with tears = streaming down our face wishing that she could see into our heart and = know without us saying a word. We want to talk, yet nothing can come = out. We feel miserable when this happens. It just takes us further = into the darkness. Has anybody felt like this? Will it pass? Does = anyone have any suggestions or comments? They would be appreciated. Morgana and the rest of us
yes Morgana etall i have had this happen and also have a suggestion when this happens my therp notices and although she cannot read my mind she will hand me paper and a pen and i can usually write at least the main subject or give here a clue also sometimes i have a warning to this feeling before I go to therapy and i call her answering machine and tell it to the machine. heather
Response:
We are having trouble talking to our therapist about what we need to. = It really isn’t that it’s not the time or that we are not ready yet, = cuz’ we are. We really need to talk to her about what is going on = inside of us and what is happening. But we just sit there with tears = streaming down our face wishing that she could see into our heart and = know without us saying a word. We want to talk, yet nothing can come = out. We feel miserable when this happens. It just takes us further = into the darkness. Has anybody felt like this? Will it pass? Does = anyone have any suggestions or comments? They would be appreciated. Morgana and the rest of us Your e-mail reply to this message WILL be *automatically* ANONYMIZED.
Response:
We are having trouble talking to our therapist about what we need to. = It really isn’t that it’s not the time or that we are not ready yet, = cuz’ we are. We really need to talk to her about what is going on = inside of us and what is happening. But we just sit there with tears = streaming down our face wishing that she could see into our heart and = know without us saying a word. We want to talk, yet nothing can come = out. We feel miserable when this happens. It just takes us further = into the darkness. Has anybody felt like this? Will it pass? Does = anyone have any suggestions or comments? They would be appreciated. Morgana and the rest of us
Yes I can relate to you so well. I trust my therapist COMPLETLY and she is the only person that i truly TRUST and feel SAFE with. I have been in therapy for 21/2 years and only recently I have been able to open up to her some It really has to do with me and my feelings and shame and up inside. I want it to come out but I am TERRIFIED at the same time. At least you cry with your therapist. I feel that is an important step. My tears are silent tears. No one sees them but me. I want to share them with her but I can’t. Yes by not talking and keeping it all buried inside only makes us further alone and yes in darkness. My therapist told me that. She is so right. So then why today when I am not doing well at all can’t I call her. IT IS SO HARD ALL OF THIS. Sometimes I want to talk but all my thoughts go around and around like a tornado. I get lossed in the middle. Well hang in there. I certainly can relate and undrestand the fear and fustration. Take Care P.B. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Your e-mail reply to this message WILL be *automatically* ANONYMIZED.
Response:
Dear Morgana; I have the same feeling all t often — I know what I want to say to my therp or my SO but nothing comes. Now that I’m several years into therapy (yes, years; and I hope your peace and helaing can take place faster while still remaining safe!), I find that there are several reasons for my silence: 1. I was tought/conditioned to be silent by my persp 2. I am afraid that I reall *am* crazy and my therp will find out 3. I am afraid (or parts of me) that I really *am* alone and I don’t want to find out 4. I’m trying to cope and I have used silence as my main coping strategy I could go on… But I guess I want to say that I’ve put boundaries around all these problems or tensions by learning that I *am* safe nowadays. And that I have control over my safety. And I often do *not* know all the issues that my parts are holding. I can’t describe *how* I’ve learned to sense when I’m evading an issue or being less than honest, but that is one important thing that I have learned 
It helps me decide when to cry, when to talk, when to be analytical in my therp session, and so forth. And I’m still learning a lot. I hope these words help. Peace and healing to you and yours. Be safe, Eudora * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Tears can make a river to take you somewhere new. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Response:
We are having trouble talking to our therapist about what we need to. = It really isn’t that it’s not the time or that we are not ready yet, = cuz’ we are. We really need to talk to her about what is going on = inside of us and what is happening. But we just sit there with tears = streaming down our face wishing that she could see into our heart and = know without us saying a word. We want to talk, yet nothing can come = out. We feel miserable when this happens. It just takes us further = into the darkness. Has anybody felt like this? Will it pass? Does = anyone have any suggestions or comments? They would be appreciated. Morgana and the rest of us
This sounds so familiar! For what it’s worth, been there and done that. I say this because it is always most helpful to me to realize I’m not the only one with an experience and I just love it when I post about some totally bizarre thing and have several people go ‘yep!’ What I finally did in this situation was to tell my therapist what was going on, heck show hir your post. You explained it so well! After I did this my therapist started talking about what was going on in the present and not behind it. Like, if I wanted to talk but couldn’t he would talk about what it felt like to not be able to talk or what it felt like to think about what if I _could_ talk. He and I did this for about two years and gradually I found fewer and fewer things I couldn’t talk about like this (I still have problems with my mind going blank or others inside refusing to share with me, but that is different than physically not being able to get the words out). Now, I seem to only have this problem when seriously intense emotions are involved. They seem to come from a part of my brain that isn’t connected to the verbal part of it so I can’t access words and those concepts at the same time yet. With my current therapist I have had this problem only once or twice, so it does go away! Now, as soon as I feel it starting I start talking about what is happening as it happens (‘I feel like the words are stuck in my head and won’t come it. This is so frustrating!’ or whatever) and he just guides me by asking specific questions until some of the words get lose, then he starts talking about what I _can_ say and it usually leads me to being able to say more. As with most of this, I agree that this is frustrating and annoying and I wish there was some way to make it stop now. However, what has always worked best for me is to slow down and take it easy. By relaxing and letting it happen at a slower pace I can get more done in the long run (but I _still_ don’t like it!!) Rainbow Colors (Jill, who has found it works really well to type stuff and bring it in to be read during sessions. This way I’m not really _saying_ anything — I choose to post non-anon because my abusers are afraid. They would have to admit something happened in order to confront me; this they will never do. They are the only people who will be upset if they know who I am, and they are too afraid to admit to what they did. Black of Rainbow Colors
Response:
We are having trouble talking to our therapist about what we need to. = It really isn’t that it’s not the time or that we are not ready yet, = cuz’ we are. We really need to talk to her about what is going on = inside of us and what is happening. But we just sit there with tears = streaming down our face wishing that she could see into our heart and = know without us saying a word. We want to talk, yet nothing can come = out. We feel miserable when this happens. It just takes us further = into the darkness. Has anybody felt like this? Will it pass? Does = anyone have any suggestions or comments? They would be appreciated. Morgana and the rest of us
us draw what we feel. Or sometimes just one person can’t talk so they show the pictures in our mind to someone who can . He also has a sandtray with little toys that can act things out. I don’t like this, but some of my friends do. Sometimes we just talk about why we can’t talk. Give yourself time . Hope this helps Turtle Your e-mail reply to this message WILL be *automatically* ANONYMIZED.
– q
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