Question:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -"tinydancer" <tinydan…@nowhere.com> wrote in message <news:pzinc.147590$Yw5.61454@bignews4.bellsouth.net>… > Hi bobbilyn, > I think it affects different people different ways, but on the whole what > you state is pretty common. What I meant by ‘different people/diffrent > ways’ is that I’m just the opposite of Z. I could never watch horror movies > or particularly scary things. They just sort of exaggerated the fears I had > inside as a kid. > I also find that ‘if I’m aware of what might be in a movie, I can cope a bit > better.’ I also can’t watch any movies depicting rape or sexual assaults. > And sometimes certain movies catch me completely off guard. The last one I > can remember doing that was ‘The Devine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood.’ I > had a severe reaction to that one, it just wiped me out. Crying, sobbing, > and totally depressed for days afterwards. > td >Tinydancer,
When you watched that movie, "The Devine Secrets of sthe YaYa Sisterhood, how were you able to cope after the crying and the depression those days after. In my experience, what happens to me, I cannot stop thinking about it. it continues to replay in my head like a broken record. And the more I think about it the more I look into the violent scene that I got a glimpse of. In my therapy the psychiatric nurse said that for people that have PTSD the biggest trigger is the visual. And in my experience it is. This is one fear that I truly hope I will be able to find some coping exercises that will help me. Thanks again td for your response. Bobbilyn – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "bobbilyn" <borinquen…@yahoo.com> wrote in message > news:de381155.0405062129.7457a072@posting.google.com… > > I don’t know but from what I remember from my therapy at Destinations, > > I remember the psychiatric nurse telling me how when someone has had a > > trauma of being abused, that when watching a sexual attack on the T.V > > is very disturbing for people that have had a trauma with abuse. Well > > the reason I raise this is because lately I have been having many > > problems with wanting to watch T.V. I can’t without ending up > > paralyzed on my seat because of something graphic, violent scenes on > > the tube. Now when my boyfriend and I go to the movies, or rent a > > video we have to read the fine print in the rating box to make sure > > even the slightest scene won’t make me uncomfortable that I end up > > walking out of movie theatre or stopping the VCR. Sometimes I like to > > watch South Park because it makes me laugh, but I can’t anymore, > > because you never know when to expect something disturbing. Something > > tells me that all this my boyfriend is bothered by. Maybe bothered is > > not the right word, I don’t know. In conclusion I wanted to know from > > other people’s experience if they have come across this problem, this > > fear. And if so, what is it that you do when this happens. > > Bobbilyn
Response:
"bobbilyn" <borinquen…@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:de381155.0405091134.f4f5101@posting.google.com… snippedt – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > better.’ I also can’t watch any movies depicting rape or sexual assaults. > > And sometimes certain movies catch me completely off guard. The last one I > > can remember doing that was ‘The Devine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood.’ I > > had a severe reaction to that one, it just wiped me out. Crying, sobbing, > > and totally depressed for days afterwards. > > td > >Tinydancer, > When you watched that movie, "The Devine Secrets of sthe YaYa > Sisterhood, how were you able to cope after the crying and the > depression those days after.
I used to be that way bobbilyn, it would just weigh on me, make me so depressed for days and days. For myself, I’ve found the more I talk about something, get it out, the less long-lasting impact it has, or perhaps I should word it, the faster I can recover from it or stop it from haunting me. I’m not exactly sure how to word that. All I know is the more I get it out, talk about it, explain to others just why it upset me so much, the more relief I get. When I watched the ‘YaYa’ movie, I thought it was just going to be another of those ‘girl movies’. I had no idea about the craziness, the mental breakdown, watching the effect it had on the children, etc. I don’t know if you saw the movie or not, but it just threw me into a tailspin. I saw it from the crazy woman’s side, the kids side, and then my own children’s side, how they must’ve felt when me, their mom, lost it. I mean I just got hysterical watching that movie, hysterical with grief, horror, the whole gamet. I cried and cried, talked to my husband, trying to explain to him how I felt. Then I called my daughters and talked to them about ‘how they felt’ when I had my breakdown. We cried, my daughters and me, and we talked in a bit more depth about all that had happened. And then I watched the movie over again, because I really felt like I needed to watch it again. Movies that have rape scenes in them, or extreme violence, I usually try to avoid. I can’t remember if you have a husband or a boyfriend? But I would guess it depends upon how committed your relationship is with that person. I mean, if this is a person who is very committed to you, then I’d recommend the two of you going to some therapy together. After my husband attended some therapy sessions with me, and my therapist was able to explain a few things to him, he was able to be much more supportive of me. He learned things to say and do, to try and help make those ‘bad times’ less traumatic. He learned coping skills, sometimes just knowing to come and put his arm around me and give me a hug at certain times makes all the difference in the world. I hope this helps, best, td In my experience, what happens to me, I – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> cannot stop thinking about it. it continues to replay in my head like > a broken record. And the more I think about it the more I look into > the violent scene that I got a glimpse of. In my therapy the > psychiatric nurse said that for people that have PTSD the biggest > trigger is the visual. And in my experience it is. This is one fear > that I truly hope I will be able to find some coping exercises that > will help me. Thanks again td for your response. > Bobbilyn > > "bobbilyn" <borinquen…@yahoo.com> wrote in message > > news:de381155.0405062129.7457a072@posting.google.com… > > > I don’t know but from what I remember from my therapy at Destinations, > > > I remember the psychiatric nurse telling me how when someone has had a > > > trauma of being abused, that when watching a sexual attack on the T.V > > > is very disturbing for people that have had a trauma with abuse. Well > > > the reason I raise this is because lately I have been having many > > > problems with wanting to watch T.V. I can’t without ending up > > > paralyzed on my seat because of something graphic, violent scenes on > > > the tube. Now when my boyfriend and I go to the movies, or rent a > > > video we have to read the fine print in the rating box to make sure > > > even the slightest scene won’t make me uncomfortable that I end up > > > walking out of movie theatre or stopping the VCR. Sometimes I like to > > > watch South Park because it makes me laugh, but I can’t anymore, > > > because you never know when to expect something disturbing. Something > > > tells me that all this my boyfriend is bothered by. Maybe bothered is > > > not the right word, I don’t know. In conclusion I wanted to know from > > > other people’s experience if they have come across this problem, this > > > fear. And if so, what is it that you do when this happens. > > > Bobbilyn
Response:
Hi Bobbilyn, I used to watch horror movies as a young child so that home life didn’t seem so bad. Then later as an adult I would read Stephen King books just before bed, and strangely enough that would usually somehow prevent a nightmare. But now, sometimes an unexpected scene in a movie or tv show will cause a nightmare, or an adrenline dump, or freeze me up. I have to decide how badly do I want to see the movie or tv show. Or even listen to the radio as that can cause triggers as well. It’s up to me and I make my decisions based on how I’m feeling lately. If things have been OK, maybe I’ll try the news tonight. If I’ve pushed myself all day and am tired then maybe not. As it is I generally don’t watch a lot of tv and seldom go to the theatre. When I do I sit at the very back of the theatre. My partner understands and joins me there. Sometimes we’ve gone with others, and if I feel secure I’ll maybe sit with the group instead of back against the wall. If your boyfriend is uncomfortable, that’s about him – not you. Don’t blame yourself if others aren’t understanding or trying to be understanding and supportive. It’s not your fault that something terrible happened to you or that now you’re having to cope with the resulting ptsd symptoms. We need to be able to say, "Hey, I want to watch *whatever* to enjoy it, not to be triggered by it. We have rights as people to take care of ourselves. We don’t have to subject ourselves to triggers when there are enough of them sometimes in one day to freak us out for months. We shouldn’t be devalued with a lack of compassion by those we look to for support and nurturing. Z55 "bobbilyn" <borinquen…@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:de381155.0405062129.7457a072@posting.google.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I don’t know but from what I remember from my therapy at Destinations, > I remember the psychiatric nurse telling me how when someone has had a > trauma of being abused, that when watching a sexual attack on the T.V > is very disturbing for people that have had a trauma with abuse. Well > the reason I raise this is because lately I have been having many > problems with wanting to watch T.V. I can’t without ending up > paralyzed on my seat because of something graphic, violent scenes on > the tube. Now when my boyfriend and I go to the movies, or rent a > video we have to read the fine print in the rating box to make sure > even the slightest scene won’t make me uncomfortable that I end up > walking out of movie theatre or stopping the VCR. Sometimes I like to > watch South Park because it makes me laugh, but I can’t anymore, > because you never know when to expect something disturbing. Something > tells me that all this my boyfriend is bothered by. Maybe bothered is > not the right word, I don’t know. In conclusion I wanted to know from > other people’s experience if they have come across this problem, this > fear. And if so, what is it that you do when this happens. > Bobbilyn
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I don’t know but from what I remember from my therapy at Destinations, >I remember the psychiatric nurse telling me how when someone has had a >trauma of being abused, that when watching a sexual attack on the T.V >is very disturbing for people that have had a trauma with abuse. Well >the reason I raise this is because lately I have been having many >problems with wanting to watch T.V. I can’t without ending up >paralyzed on my seat because of something graphic, violent scenes on >the tube. Now when my boyfriend and I go to the movies, or rent a >video we have to read the fine print in the rating box to make sure >even the slightest scene won’t make me uncomfortable that I end up >walking out of movie theatre or stopping the VCR. Sometimes I like to >watch South Park because it makes me laugh, but I can’t anymore, >because you never know when to expect something disturbing. Something >tells me that all this my boyfriend is bothered by. Maybe bothered is >not the right word, I don’t know. In conclusion I wanted to know from >other people’s experience if they have come across this problem, this >fear. And if so, what is it that you do when this happens. >Bobbilyn
What Z said. Exactly! Risa
Response:
Hi BobbiLyn! Amen to what Z55 said! Please print it out and post it somewhere that you can see it every day until you do not forget the message. I used to have to take little snippits like this and post them near where I was making decisions in order to NOT forget what I wanted to do ‘in a moment of stress’. YMMV Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
For awhile I had this same problem but then just about everything in life was triggering to me. I didn’t want to hide away from the world and I was doing that for a time. I’ve done my best to take my life back…..I won’t let cars, movies, helicoptors, etc control my life any longer. At times I’ve had to force myself to do whatever….and it worked. I’m bigger then my abuse and I won’t let my abuse control me. Now, hardly anything triggers me into ptsd. I will have "the thoughts" of what happened to me, but I can control it and not allow it to go further. This is just what worked for me. It wasn’t easy but it has been worth it. Donna
Response:
great advice from the others. the only thing i would add is to carry a small notepad and briefly jot down what bothers you and how you feel as soon as possible (i even have a pen with a light for when i go to movies). be as specific as you can (ie. instead of ‘uncomfortable’, try to narrow it down to ’scare’, ‘anxious’, ‘nauseous’, etc.). then later (next day, week, whenever it feels ok) look back at your notes and think about things you could do to minimize the effect of each instance. sometimes looking at situations out of context makes it less distressing to think about. for example, one of the first patterns i discovered in my notes was that i usually felt a mixture of nausea and disgust when two people simply kissed. but only if they were married and only at movies (the same situation on tv didnt seem to bother me). after thinking about it i realized what memory these scenes triggered and that the reason it only happened in theaters was because i tend to get ‘into’ the story more (darkness, big screen, no distractions like phone etc.). so from then on, whenever i was in a movie and it seemed like the plot was leading in that direction, i would try to disengage from the movie a bit (like with commercials on tv) and remind myself that i didnt know these people, it was a fictional story, had nothing to do with me, etc. didnt totally work the first couple of times and obviously some triggers are more severe than kissing, but eventually i could watch a scene like without discomfort. my nickel(inflation), ymmv t "bobbilyn" <borinquen…@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:de381155.0405062129.7457a072@posting.google.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I don’t know but from what I remember from my therapy at Destinations, > I remember the psychiatric nurse telling me how when someone has had a > trauma of being abused, that when watching a sexual attack on the T.V > is very disturbing for people that have had a trauma with abuse. Well > the reason I raise this is because lately I have been having many > problems with wanting to watch T.V. I can’t without ending up > paralyzed on my seat because of something graphic, violent scenes on > the tube. Now when my boyfriend and I go to the movies, or rent a > video we have to read the fine print in the rating box to make sure > even the slightest scene won’t make me uncomfortable that I end up > walking out of movie theatre or stopping the VCR. Sometimes I like to > watch South Park because it makes me laugh, but I can’t anymore, > because you never know when to expect something disturbing. Something > tells me that all this my boyfriend is bothered by. Maybe bothered is > not the right word, I don’t know. In conclusion I wanted to know from > other people’s experience if they have come across this problem, this > fear. And if so, what is it that you do when this happens. > Bobbilyn
Response:
Hiya Nancy! I need to print it out for myself?! *grin* I learned it from ya’ll here in the ptsd group! Z55 "Nancy" <kipc…@msn.com> wrote in message
news:UQJmc.5960$nN6.4283@lakeread06… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi BobbiLyn! > Amen to what Z55 said! > Please print it out and post it somewhere that you can see it every day > until you do not forget the message. > I used to have to take little snippits like this and post them near where I > was making decisions in order to NOT forget what I wanted to do ‘in a > moment of stress’. > YMMV > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy
Response:
"bobbilyn" <borinquen…@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:de381155.0405062129.7457a072@posting.google.com… > I don’t know but from what I remember from my therapy at Destinations, > I remember the psychiatric nurse telling me how when someone has had a [snip] > Bobbilyn
Hi Bobbilyn. I know how you feel. I can’t watch movies or even view photos of people being tortured. I walk out of movies if torture scenes are shown. (These are my true feelings and not a sarcastic dig at the Iraq situation.)
Response:
Hi bobbilyn, I think it affects different people different ways, but on the whole what you state is pretty common. What I meant by ‘different people/diffrent ways’ is that I’m just the opposite of Z. I could never watch horror movies or particularly scary things. They just sort of exaggerated the fears I had inside as a kid. I also find that ‘if I’m aware of what might be in a movie, I can cope a bit better.’ I also can’t watch any movies depicting rape or sexual assaults. And sometimes certain movies catch me completely off guard. The last one I can remember doing that was ‘The Devine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood.’ I had a severe reaction to that one, it just wiped me out. Crying, sobbing, and totally depressed for days afterwards. td "bobbilyn" <borinquen…@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:de381155.0405062129.7457a072@posting.google.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I don’t know but from what I remember from my therapy at Destinations, > I remember the psychiatric nurse telling me how when someone has had a > trauma of being abused, that when watching a sexual attack on the T.V > is very disturbing for people that have had a trauma with abuse. Well > the reason I raise this is because lately I have been having many > problems with wanting to watch T.V. I can’t without ending up > paralyzed on my seat because of something graphic, violent scenes on > the tube. Now when my boyfriend and I go to the movies, or rent a > video we have to read the fine print in the rating box to make sure > even the slightest scene won’t make me uncomfortable that I end up > walking out of movie theatre or stopping the VCR. Sometimes I like to > watch South Park because it makes me laugh, but I can’t anymore, > because you never know when to expect something disturbing. Something > tells me that all this my boyfriend is bothered by. Maybe bothered is > not the right word, I don’t know. In conclusion I wanted to know from > other people’s experience if they have come across this problem, this > fear. And if so, what is it that you do when this happens. > Bobbilyn
Response:
I don’t know but from what I remember from my therapy at Destinations, I remember the psychiatric nurse telling me how when someone has had a trauma of being abused, that when watching a sexual attack on the T.V is very disturbing for people that have had a trauma with abuse. Well the reason I raise this is because lately I have been having many problems with wanting to watch T.V. I can’t without ending up paralyzed on my seat because of something graphic, violent scenes on the tube. Now when my boyfriend and I go to the movies, or rent a video we have to read the fine print in the rating box to make sure even the slightest scene won’t make me uncomfortable that I end up walking out of movie theatre or stopping the VCR. Sometimes I like to watch South Park because it makes me laugh, but I can’t anymore, because you never know when to expect something disturbing. Something tells me that all this my boyfriend is bothered by. Maybe bothered is not the right word, I don’t know. In conclusion I wanted to know from other people’s experience if they have come across this problem, this fear. And if so, what is it that you do when this happens. Bobbilyn
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