Trauma – PTSD

Question:

> >Why are you all alone, or why are you all lonely (there is a difference > > >IMO)? > > >By choice, by circumstance, or what?

. Certainly not by choice- I was in a 5 year relationship that ended when she cheated on me with a mutual acquaintance. I moved away, took another job and have worked more than 500 hours a year of overtime in each of the last 5 years.    Do I work that much because I’m lonely or am I lonely because I work that much? I don’t think I can use the work as an excuse because, obviously, the end of the relationship was a shattering blow to my self-esteem and self-confidence, so I can’t say I’d be out there meeting women left and right if it weren’t for my job.     I am in a community theater group and did meet a woman who seemed to show some interest in me,  but now she just ignores me.                                    Marlowe

Response:

Most of the time I don’t feel lonely, even when alone. I enjoy solitude. There are exceptions, however. Like tonight. Maybe its the season? Or the rain? Or the chill I feel? Maybe it’s because I’ve not seen Kathleen in a while, even though we’ve talked? I can’t identify the reason. Maybe there is none. I do feel a great emptiness within me. I feel like crying. Perhaps I will:: tears seem to be cleansing. ~N~ — "Nothing is so strong as gentleness and nothing is so gentle as real strength" ~ Ralph W. Sockman "BC" <animusainth…@ihug.co.nzorami> wrote in message

news:bsjk29$lkn$3@lust.ihug.co.nz… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Why are you all alone, or why are you all lonely (there is a difference > IMO)? > By choice, by circumstance, or what? > <=[BC]=>

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >>>Why are you all alone, or why are you all lonely (there is a difference > >>>IMO)? > >>>By choice, by circumstance, or what? > > Alone: because I’m nae a fun person to be with, several people have > > tried spending time with me and all have in the end given it up as a > > bad job, the fundamental problem being that I am EXTREMELY BORING, and > > have very little to say for myself. Also ugly, poor, etc. > > Lonely: because in spite of above disqualifications I would like right > > now to be lying next to a Goddess, rather than strangling Kojak, which > > is how I propose to spend next half hour faute de mieux. > > In addition, I have had toothache for the past week. > Make friends with your dentist… I am sure dentists are interesting > people once you get to know them. After all, what kind of a person > chooses a profession involving the regular examination of other peoples > cavities?

A  gynaecologist, a proctologist. I’m sure there are others.

Response:

On Sat, 27 Dec 2003 22:18:44 +1300, BC wrote: > Why are you all alone, or why are you all lonely (there is a difference > IMO)? > By choice, by circumstance, or what?

Uhh, because I don’t like people?  No scrub that; because I don’t like /most/ people.  Because I find it hard to mix with groups, which tend to make me feel like a spare part, because I have a wacky/caustic/unfunny sense of humour, because in the past few years I have turned into a geek, because I have quite different values and beliefs to most people, because I don’t do any social activities (going to the pub is a loner activity for me, except for that remarkable night I did my "experiment" ). Because I would rather use one long word than six short ones, because I prefer books to (boring) conversation, because I like to live close to life’s marrow (succeeding in doing so is a different matter), because I don’t do and am not interested in any kind of sport whatsoever.  Because I’m not shallow, insipid, trashy, narrow-minded, stupid, violent, selfish, greedy, lazy, discriminatory, vain and other things I haven’t thought of, most of which traits belong to most people, and which people tend to respond to in others because they experience these within themselves, or at least I think so.  And because other people simply get in the way. So although I have recently met a woman who I believe to be my true compliment, I forsee being lonely as a continuing situation. Monster — Of course I can!  I’m British. www.the-monstruum.co.uk

Response:

Little Monster <r…@localhost.localdomain> wrote in news:c4cb53af1afc31da0c118a1f215cc5e7@news.teranews.com: > And because other people simply get in the way.

People who don’t want to dig their own graves in an efficient manner before I whack them really annoy me.

Response:

"Eleonore Beaudoin" <bc…@FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote in message

news:bsk9oo$rgu$1@freenet9.carleton.ca… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Circumstances made the choice clear for the alst ten years: was assault4ed > and ended up in semi-coma then unable to walk more than a few risky steps > for 3.5 more eyars, then Graves disease developed as a post traumatic > reaction (physical reaction, metabolism accelerating to withstand the > physical shock of assault). Had to rebuild my life entirely. Stilltrying > to get there, if I am back at work in my field, but am not a permanent > employee (yet? never will be??). > Operation was one step towards the face improvement after it was demolished. > Tons of life reorganization to do, more than coudl be said in three yeras, > sicne I have been at it for all that time and am not done yet, from > unpacking to sortign through to simply gettign to be able to pay for > decoration stuff, organizational stuff like filing cabinet, dishwasher, > new used car, yadee yada. Takes forever. > Next step in the "gettign a life back" will be a sleep marathon startign > tomorrow and finding a rental car asd my 16 year odl car died on me and > garages refuse to fix it, so unsafe the car would be by now.Then shop for > a used one. > Such is the plan between now and Jan 1.

ouch, between all that AND the citrus thing, it must REALLY suck to be you. So what drives you – what makes you go on living?  What makes you get out of bed each day and…  well, live? > You? Why are you lonely/alone:?

Too wimpy/lazy to live life.  I’m Asian, but my family moved to NZ when I was around 10.  As a result I don’t really fit in – I don’t really belong anywhere.  I dislike the asian culture, and I don’t like Asian people.  I’m too kiwi to be Asian, but too Asian to be kiwi.  The lack of common interests with other people, the lack of self-esteeme and low self-image – those all adds to it.  For those reasons (among other things) I don’t have many (if any) friends. And relationship-wise?  Like I said I don’t like people of my own race… well, if I don’t like my race, and also if I don’t like myself as a human being, how the hell do I expect someone else to like me?  even if I find a girl who seems like enjoy my company, what can I do?  I’m boring as hell, sharing no common interests with the people around me.  I don’t drink, don’t dance, don’t like eating in public – basically I don’t do any of the things that "normal" people do!  I don’t have a car.  I live at home.  I work 6 days a week – finishing each night around 8:30pm.  Now how the hell am I supposed to ask girls out?  "I’ve got nothing to say to you babe, but why don’t you drive me to my folks place and I’ll show you my socks?"  Who the heck would go out with me with lines like those? It’s hard for me to make friends and such, since EVERYTIME I try, people start of liking me for my sense of humour, but end up disliking me once they get to know the real me.  I’m just not interesting or happy enough I guess for people.  it’s easier talking to people via e-mail and newsgroups and such, but the same thing happens…  After a while I learn to leave my shield and mask up all the time – the mask to keep people from hating me (although it’s getting harder, being interesting and happy all the time), and the shield to push people away, keep them at a distance to keep myself from being hurt.  it’s easier just to be alone and depressed I think – at least if I EXPECT to be depressed and alone, I won’t be disappointed or depressed later on when I realise that I’m all alone in this world. (and yes, I’m too depressing I know – even my imaginary friends don’t wanna spend time with me no more…  "Sorry, we’re doing something with our friends already" they say…  even my imaginary friends have imaginary friends now – scary.) <=[BC]=>

Response:

"Little Monster" <r…@localhost.localdomain> wrote in message

news:1c4e032312737c149d9632eba9c8ecf3@news.teranews.com… > On Sat, 03 Jan 2004 05:33:34 +1300, BC wrote: > > I’m 23…  still young-ish, but too old I think to be all alone, to have > Whuh??  /I’m/ still young-ish, at 36!  Tsk, made me feel bloody ancient > there for 17 seconds… > > never dated, to have no friends and no strong ties to people. > Not really.  It’s not an age thing, it’s just the way you are.  Some of > us were born under a lonesome star – if you really wanted things to be > otherwise, you would most likely have made an effort to surround yourself > with people (yuk!)

but come on!  I’m 23 – nearly in my mid 20’s.  I have no experience with people – and more specifically no experience with women.  No stolen kisses in the schoolyard.  No teenage sweetheart.  No one to hold hands with.  No one to talk to when I’m lonely.  No one to cuddle up with on those cold lonely nights.  No one to love and be loved by… I don’t know.  I grew up and let all that passed me by, thinking hey, if it’s meant to be, it’ll come.  Some special girl will come along like in the movies – we’d just click and viola, love will blossom and angels will sing while we dance a slow sweet dance, by the waves and under the spell of the moonlight…  I’m 23 – I shouldn’t be spending saturday nights, birthdays and valentines’ alone, typing on the computer at home, alone in my room and feeling sorry for myself… > > I’m Asian (I kinda see that as being…  well, different and kinda inferior > > to other people). > I don’t get this bit – why does that make you feel inferior?  My > experience of young Moslem and Sikh men is that they think they are the > best thing going, most other young asian men seem to have similar ideas! > As a cultural group, british asians appear to incredibly successful, as a > relatively new addition to society, and much more sorted out than a lot of > british whites I know.  Of course,  things might be different in other > countries…

That’s one of the reasons why I don’t like my own people.  It’s a bit of a generalisation, but it’s mainly true IMO.  Asians are rude, loud – they act like drunken buffoons most of the time, and they’re racist and arrogant. Most of them dress like refugees, and look even worse…  THIS is how I see my own race…  Combine that with my low-self esteeme…  can you imagine how I see myself?  Seeing myself the way I do, I just can’t imagine anyone else liking me for me. I don’t like my race, I don’t like my family, and I don’t like myself. Everything about me is in conflict – and everytime I try to resolve these conflicts my inner turmoil just gets worse.  it’s like I’m trying to cover the black hole of my soul – but it only sucks in whatever I try to use, and it just grows bigger and bigger… > > I feel uncomfortable around people.  I don’t know how to act around > > people…  and I’m afraid of being around people, especially people I > > like, since I have a low-esteeme, and I constantly afriad of letting > > others down. For those reasons I don’t go to social gatherings. > Do what I do – fake it!  In time it stops being scary and you can stop > faking – there’s no need anymore.

No.  I already do that, and it’s only making things worse.  I put on an act, which attracts people – but the inner me hides from them, pushing them away. "It’s not real", it screams.  "They don’t like you – they like your act!" What’s the point of putting on a mask that everyone else likes, when they hate the person behind the mask?  Besides, I don’t like hiding behind masks, especially not ones of my own making.  It’s dishonest I think.  I refuse to laugh when I’m sad; to pretend to be happy when I’m angry; to…  what was it that shakespeare said in "Much Ado About Nothing"?  About not eating when full and not laugh for someone elses sake or something?  It’s like that.  I try to be as honest to myself – to my emotions, my thoughts and my ideals… I try to be myself at all times.  For better or worse, I’d rather bare my soul, and let the world see me for who and what I am. > > I guess in many ways my loneliness is self-imposed… > Perhaps because you /secretly/ want to be alone?

Maybe – but then why do my heart ache so?  Why do I cry these tears of pain and loneliness time after time?  Why do I…  what’s the point…  Why waste my time writing.  It’s not doing anything – instead of lightening the heavy burden of my heart, all it’s doing is dragging more muck out, from the darkness and into the light…  and oh, it’s spreading.  How it’s spread!  I can feel it creeping inch by inch, swollowing everything whole… <=[BC]=>

Response:

"eerie rodent of unusual size & typing ability" <ee…@biteme.com> wrote in message news:Xns946567301A9C8freakingA@68.6.19.6… > Little Monster <r…@localhost.localdomain> wrote in > news:1c4e032312737c149d9632eba9c8ecf3@news.teranews.com: > >to surround > > yourself with people (yuk!)

What an offensive notion. At least I don’t have to worry about fending off people, as there are no one around. More relaxing that way, and I get to concentrate on lifes deeper matters instead of incessant bickering. zorn

Response:

"BC" <animusainth…@ihug.co.nzorami> wrote in news:bt47bj$p4r$1@lust.ihug.co.nz: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "eerie rodent of unusual size & typing ability" <ee…@biteme.com> > wrote in message news:Xns946250AAE1832freakingA@68.6.19.6… >> Little Monster <r…@localhost.localdomain> wrote in >> news:c4cb53af1afc31da0c118a1f215cc5e7@news.teranews.com: >> > And because other people simply get in the way. >> People who don’t want to dig their own graves in an efficient manner > before >> I whack them really annoy me. > maybe they wanna be cremated? > <=[BC]=>

I usually give them that option.  They’re just lazy.

Response:

Little Monster <r…@localhost.localdomain> wrote in news:1c4e032312737c149d9632eba9c8ecf3@news.teranews.com: > On Sat, 03 Jan 2004 05:33:34 +1300, BC wrote: >> I’m 23…  still young-ish, but too old I think to be all alone, to >> have > Whuh??  /I’m/ still young-ish, at 36!  Tsk, made me feel bloody > ancient there for 17 seconds… >> never dated, to have no friends and no strong ties to people. > Not really.  It’s not an age thing, it’s just the way you are.  Some > of us were born under a lonesome star – if you really wanted things to > be otherwise, you would most likely have made an effort to surround > yourself with people (yuk!)

I have tried, just very unsuccessfully.  Also most ppl seem like dinks.  

Response:

"eerie rodent of unusual size & typing ability" <ee…@biteme.com> wrote in message news:Xns946250AAE1832freakingA@68.6.19.6… > Little Monster <r…@localhost.localdomain> wrote in > news:c4cb53af1afc31da0c118a1f215cc5e7@news.teranews.com: > > And because other people simply get in the way. > People who don’t want to dig their own graves in an efficient manner before > I whack them really annoy me.

maybe they wanna be cremated? <=[BC]=>

Response:

On Sat, 03 Jan 2004 05:33:34 +1300, BC wrote: > I’m 23…  still young-ish, but too old I think to be all alone, to have

Whuh??  /I’m/ still young-ish, at 36!  Tsk, made me feel bloody ancient there for 17 seconds… > never dated, to have no friends and no strong ties to people.

Not really.  It’s not an age thing, it’s just the way you are.  Some of us were born under a lonesome star – if you really wanted things to be otherwise, you would most likely have made an effort to surround yourself with people (yuk!) > I’m Asian (I kinda see that as being…  well, different and kinda inferior > to other people).

I don’t get this bit – why does that make you feel inferior?  My experience of young Moslem and Sikh men is that they think they are the best thing going, most other young asian men seem to have similar ideas! As a cultural group, british asians appear to incredibly successful, as a relatively new addition to society, and much more sorted out than a lot of british whites I know.  Of course,  things might be different in other countries… > I feel uncomfortable around people.  I don’t know how to act around > people…  and I’m afraid of being around people, especially people I > like, since I have a low-esteeme, and I constantly afriad of letting > others down. For those reasons I don’t go to social gatherings.

Do what I do – fake it!  In time it stops being scary and you can stop faking – there’s no need anymore. > I guess in many ways my loneliness is self-imposed…

Perhaps because you /secretly/ want to be alone? Monster — Of course I can!  I’m British. www.the-monstruum.co.uk

Response:

"BC" <animusainth…@ihug.co.nzorami> wrote in message

news:bt46gv$omt$1@lust.ihug.co.nz… > "zorn" <john….@yahoo.com> wrote in message > news:3fedc44a$0$27462$edfadb0f@dread16.news.tele.dk… > How do you know if you’re "clinically depressed"?

Self-diagnosis is in principle not possible. There are some on-line screening tests which should only be taken as loose guides, fx http://www.depression-screening.org/screeningtest/screeningtest.htm . A professional will be needed for actual diagnosis. > Our feelings and emotions > are part of us – they help define who and what we are.  I’m NOT a happy > chappy, but I refuse to think of feelings and emotions as being sicknesses, > to be "cured", altered or discarded.

Of course, feelings and emotions are not meant to be "cured" – be they sadness or joy. But look at it this way: if a continuously depressive mood is the /symptom/ of a physiological condition, should the physiological condition thus be allowed to persist? Apart from this – I have sometimes been so fed up with feeling miserable (though not clinically depressed), that I would do many a thing to try and change it – and thereby abandon the idea that the emotions and feelings are "sacred", "correct" or "the fundamental truth of my being". In everyday life one has to rely on emotions and feelings to guide oneself, and to "be". But they are not the fundamental basis of existence from my point of view (and i’m _not_ talking religion). A learned emotional response can be altered, and should, if it really affects ones life in a bad way. ( Someone on asl educated me, that this kind of "self-change talk" is not meaningful for everybody here on asl. I’m talking from my personal point of view, and how I feebly try to manipulate my life into something meaningful. Sometimes I get confused: should I be chasing all this change? Should I not just lay back and take a more relaxed attitude. Accept myself as I am??? Should I rage against the night? Or go quiet into it? Give up? ) > I feel uncomfortable around people.  I don’t know how to act around > For those reasons I don’t go to social gatherings.

kind of self-enhancing eh, a bugger to brake these loops > And if you think your interests are weird?  Well, everyone’s unique in some > way.  Everyone’s different, with different tastes, thoughts and ideas. But > there are billions of people out there – no matter how weird or different > you are, I guarantee there are tons of people out there with the same > thoughts, interests and ideals.  The trick is try and find these people.

…and I did find _some_, but because they are so rare, they are located ridiculously far away, and no personal interaction on a regular basis is possible. BTW, _I_ don’t think my interests are weird, it’s people who tell me so. A noticable difference there, I think. Finding people is a most unagreable task, when one is lacking in social talent. Even more tricky to find a special someone of the appropriate sex (which is of course female heh . >It > is often hard, sometimes it might even seem impossible…  but nothing is > impossible I think if you believe, if you try hard enough…  ahh to dream > that impossible dream, to reach that impossible star!  Keep your chin up, > and don’t give up – remember, hope turns to despair if you give up on it!

I hold up a multifaceted mirror, and beam this back to you too and around onto the folks happening to read all the way through this post. > <=[BC]=>

wishes for a better new year! zorn

Response:

"Dynamize" <zarathus…@nospam.kyuzo.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message

news:bsolia$fip$1@newsg1.svr.pol.co.uk… > Circumstance. I’m irritable, and after the initial novelty of meeting me has > worn off my boring nature and crap conversational skills shine through. Plus > it’s half seven in the morning, I haven’t slept a wink, there’s nothing good > on telly, I’m unipolar and life’s so very grey and mundane.

Wow, I have found my twin I think…  (or maybe I have split personalities…  did one of my other personalities post this message I wonder?) >Also, I have > dropped out of uni after the first semester at the tender age of 21 because > the course was rubbish. I now have no direction in life. No ambitions, no > goals. I find my friends to be annoying inconveniences. Hardly the makings > of a great lover or interesting social contact is it? > I suppose it’s also choice really, I just don’t feel like being in the > presence of anyone else. Strange. I feel lonely, but I don’t want to talk to > anyone face to face. Ho hum.

Ahh I feel your pain bud. I’m in the same boat.  23, crap life, crap job, no goal in life.  Don’t like spending time with people, and it actually annoys me when the people I do know contacts me and wanna do stuff (hey I can’t help it – I work 6 days a week, so it’s understandable that I want me ME time on the one day that I do get off…  and not spend the whole day watching your mate play a bloody game on his computer…  or have someone come over to use your DVD player…) I have to say though your life probably isn’t gonna get better by itself. The less active you are, the more apathic and lazy you’d become.  and as for girls (or guys if you’re a chick)…  just keep this in mind: no matter how ugly, boring, or whatever problem you think you might have, there’ll be someone out there who’d find you attractive…  I mean hey, there are some pretty weird fetishes out there! <=[BC]=>

Response:

"zorn" <john….@yahoo.com> wrote in message

news:3fedc44a$0$27462$edfadb0f@dread16.news.tele.dk… > Circumstance had it, that I was blessed with alcoholic and psychiatrically > ill parents (one ailment each). I was bestowed  with clinical depression > until I sought medical help at the age of 20 (approx).

How do you know if you’re "clinically depressed"?  Our feelings and emotions are part of us – they help define who and what we are.  I’m NOT a happy chappy, but I refuse to think of feelings and emotions as being sicknesses, to be "cured", altered or discarded. > I cannot know, but I gather that I missed many aspects of youth, that > somehow builds social skills ("dating" and other odd things). And maybe my > "personality" have also suffered in development. But these are really > unknowns. > Today, my tastes in movies and music and books are not mainstream. People > think that I am "strange", and sometimes tell me so, although I am not > extreme in any obvious way. People do not find me interesting and fun to be > with. I am not generally invited to social gatherings. This poses a sort of > externally imposed loneliness, that depends on myself in ways I cannot see > clearly. But I am so tired of this, I would like to be more a member of the > human race. > I do not know how to "get" a girlfriend, but I try and do what I can.

I’m 23…  still young-ish, but too old I think to be all alone, to have never dated, to have no friends and no strong ties to people. I don’t know how to act around people, partly due to the fact that I didn’t spend much time with people when I was younger, partly due to the fact that share no common interests with them, and also partly due to the fact that I’m Asian (I kinda see that as being…  well, different and kinda inferior to other people). I feel uncomfortable around people.  I don’t know how to act around people…  and I’m afraid of being around people, especially people I like, since I have a low-esteeme, and I constantly afriad of letting others down. For those reasons I don’t go to social gatherings. I guess in many ways my loneliness is self-imposed… > I feel very different.

One thing I always tell people is that they are NOT alone, no matter how different they are, or how different they feel.  You might think "I shouldn’t feel this lonely and depressed, since everyone else around me seems so happy".  But chances are the majority of the people have the same doubts, thoughts and feelings – on the inside at least, even if they don’t show it.  Just look around you – just read some of the posts in this newsgroup!  There ARE others just like you out there. And if you think your interests are weird?  Well, everyone’s unique in some way.  Everyone’s different, with different tastes, thoughts and ideas.  But there are billions of people out there – no matter how weird or different you are, I guarantee there are tons of people out there with the same thoughts, interests and ideals.  The trick is try and find these people.  It is often hard, sometimes it might even seem impossible…  but nothing is impossible I think if you believe, if you try hard enough…  ahh to dream that impossible dream, to reach that impossible star!  Keep your chin up, and don’t give up – remember, hope turns to despair if you give up on it! <=[BC]=>

Response:

"BC" <animusainth…@ihug.co.nzorami> wrote in message

news:bsjk29$lkn$3@lust.ihug.co.nz… > Why are you all alone, or why are you all lonely (there is a difference > IMO)? > By choice, by circumstance, or what?

Women consider me worthless because I lack sufficient good looks and money. And even though I require neither of those things from a potential partner, it is still expected of me.

Response:

Why are you all alone, or why are you all lonely (there is a difference IMO)? By choice, by circumstance, or what? <=[BC]=>

Response:

The usual answer would be – can’t find the right woman/gal/partner/soulmate/etc – no matter where you are. Whether it be UK, Oz, USA, or even in NZ. The usual reason – is not able to mix socially, not having the right social skills, not having the gumption to ask a gal out for a date, and able to take rejection, etc. If it is the simple matter of finding a gal, then we’d all be married long ago. It’s always wanting the right/suitable partner, that is the problem – being particular. Harvey In article <bsjk29$lk…@lust.ihug.co.nz>, animusainth…@ihug.co.nzorami says… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Why are you all alone, or why are you all lonely (there is a difference >IMO)? >By choice, by circumstance, or what? ><=[BC]=>

Response:

"BC" (animusainth…@ihug.co.nzorami) writes: > Why are you all alone, or why are you all lonely (there is a difference > IMO)? > By choice, by circumstance, or what? > <=[BC]=>

Circumstances made the choice clear for the alst ten years: was assault4ed and ended up in semi-coma then unable to walk more than a few risky steps for 3.5 more eyars, then Graves disease developed as a post traumatic reaction (physical reaction, metabolism accelerating to withstand the physical shock of assault). Had to rebuild my life entirely. Stilltrying to get there, if I am back at work in my field, but am not a permanent employee (yet? never will be??). Operation was one step towards the face improvement after it was demolished. Tons of life reorganization to do, more than coudl be said in three yeras, sicne I have been at it for all that time and am not done yet, from unpacking to sortign through to simply gettign to be able to pay for decoration stuff, organizational stuff like filing cabinet, dishwasher, new used car, yadee yada. Takes forever. Next step in the "gettign a life back" will be a sleep marathon startign tomorrow and finding a rental car asd my 16 year odl car died on me and garages refuse to fix it, so unsafe the car would be by now.Then shop for a used one. Such is the plan between now and Jan 1. You? Why are you lonely/alone:? C —

Response:

bc…@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Eleonore Beaudoin) wrote in news:bsk9oo$rgu$1@freenet9.carleton.ca: > "BC" (animusainth…@ihug.co.nzorami) writes: >> Why are you all alone, or why are you all lonely (there is a difference >> IMO)? >> By choice, by circumstance, or what? >> <=[BC]=>

Once my path of vengeance is complete I’m sure circumstances will be improved.  

Response:

"BC" <animusainth…@ihug.co.nzorami> wrote in message

news:bsjk29$lkn$3@lust.ihug.co.nz… > Why are you all alone, or why are you all lonely (there is a difference > IMO)? > By choice, by circumstance, or what? > <=[BC]=>

Circumstance had it, that I was blessed with alcoholic and psychiatrically ill parents (one ailment each). I was bestowed  with clinical depression until I sought medical help at the age of 20 (approx). I cannot know, but I gather that I missed many aspects of youth, that somehow builds social skills ("dating" and other odd things). And maybe my "personality" have also suffered in development. But these are really unknowns. Today, my tastes in movies and music and books are not mainstream. People think that I am "strange", and sometimes tell me so, although I am not extreme in any obvious way. People do not find me interesting and fun to be with. I am not generally invited to social gatherings. This poses a sort of externally imposed loneliness, that depends on myself in ways I cannot see clearly. But I am so tired of this, I would like to be more a member of the human race. I do not know how to "get" a girlfriend, but I try and do what I can. I feel very different. zorn

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> In article <bsjk29$lk…@lust.ihug.co.nz>, animusainth…@ihug.co.nzorami > says… > >Why are you all alone, or why are you all lonely (there is a difference > >IMO)? > >By choice, by circumstance, or what?

Alone: because I’m nae a fun person to be with, several people have tried spending time with me and all have in the end given it up as a bad job, the fundamental problem being that I am EXTREMELY BORING, and have very little to say for myself. Also ugly, poor, etc. Lonely: because in spite of above disqualifications I would like right now to be lying next to a Goddess, rather than strangling Kojak, which is how I propose to spend next half hour faute de mieux. In addition, I have had toothache for the past week.

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nevilemo…@yahoo.com (OB) wrote in news:6ebc501c.0312281513.5fe273db@posting.google.com: >> In article <bsjk29$lk…@lust.ihug.co.nz>, >> animusainth…@ihug.co.nzorami says… >> >Why are you all alone, or why are you all lonely (there is a >> >difference IMO)? >> >By choice, by circumstance, or what? > Alone: because I’m nae a fun person to be with,

Could be. >several people have > tried spending time with me and all have in the end given it up as a > bad job, the fundamental problem being that I am EXTREMELY BORING

??? >and > have very little to say for myself.

Oh, I don’t think so.

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"BC" <animusainth…@ihug.co.nzorami> wrote in message

news:bsjk29$lkn$3@lust.ihug.co.nz… > Why are you all alone, or why are you all lonely (there is a difference > IMO)? > By choice, by circumstance, or what? > <=[BC]=>

Circumstance. I’m irritable, and after the initial novelty of meeting me has worn off my boring nature and crap conversational skills shine through. Plus it’s half seven in the morning, I haven’t slept a wink, there’s nothing good on telly, I’m unipolar and life’s so very grey and mundane. Also, I have dropped out of uni after the first semester at the tender age of 21 because the course was rubbish. I now have no direction in life. No ambitions, no goals. I find my friends to be annoying inconveniences. Hardly the makings of a great lover or interesting social contact is it? I suppose it’s also choice really, I just don’t feel like being in the presence of anyone else. Strange. I feel lonely, but I don’t want to talk to anyone face to face. Ho hum.

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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -OB wrote: >>In article <bsjk29$lk…@lust.ihug.co.nz>, animusainth…@ihug.co.nzorami >>says… >>>Why are you all alone, or why are you all lonely (there is a difference >>>IMO)? >>>By choice, by circumstance, or what? > Alone: because I’m nae a fun person to be with, several people have > tried spending time with me and all have in the end given it up as a > bad job, the fundamental problem being that I am EXTREMELY BORING, and > have very little to say for myself. Also ugly, poor, etc. > Lonely: because in spite of above disqualifications I would like right > now to be lying next to a Goddess, rather than strangling Kojak, which > is how I propose to spend next half hour faute de mieux. > In addition, I have had toothache for the past week.

Make friends with your dentist… I am sure dentists are interesting people once you get to know them. After all, what kind of a person chooses a profession involving the regular examination of other peoples cavities? .ske (another Munday, *sigh*)

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