Question:
>I’m thinking of you, Anne 
>Mel
I’ve been thinking of you also. :-) I know I haven’t written but I think you understand. I haven’t even written my own grandmother lately. I really need to do that soon. Take care, sweetie. Lots of hugs. Anne H. "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world."
Response:
>It gave the impression that I was >thinking on how I felt and wasn’t "being emotional." :-)
Oh, heaven forbid you should be accused of THAT! 
I’ve never been accused of it, personally, but I understand it’s demoralizing. "bg" Glad you and DH have talked it out. I was hoping he’d quickly reach the same conclusion you did about your home as an alternative. At least he’s thinking clearly and has your best interests at heart as well. Take care of yourself as best you can, Anne, and keep us posted. Leeza "Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.:" Talking Heads
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Anne Haas wrote: > I know Anne R. was a wee bit > upset about the sentencing but I had no influence over that.
Anne R. was completely *disgusted* by the sentencing, but I certainly know it wasn’t anything to do with you! Did you take my suggestions with you to court? I thought they were pretty good, since the judge obviously doesn’t have any creative thoughts in this area. Anne
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Anne, God, this just never ends for you. I am so sorry. I just don’t know what to say. I understand your relief at SD being detained, but even that probably isn’t going to be enough for you to truly feel safe. I wouldn’t feel safe if I was in your situation. Now your relationship with your husband is suffering, your own self-esteen has hit the skids, and your health is going down the toilet as well. You’ve paid for SD’s problems with everything you have, Anne. what do you have left? I can’t believe DH is even mentioning the possibility of SD moving back in with you. I think it should be absolutely out of the question. ((((hugs))))) Leeza "Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.:" Talking Heads
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Leeza, Things are actually getting better. I think he was looking at all options. I also think he was putting out feelers on how I would feel – just didn’t do a very good job of it. I think it helped that I didn’t overreact at the time and waited a bit so we could talk about it. It gave the impression that I was thinking on how I felt and wasn’t "being emotional." :-) We’ve talked periodically over the weekend and today. At lunch today (DH had the day off & I worked), we talked about what would be the best place for her. Self-esteem isn’t an issue. I know who I am and what I want. The health issue, well, that’s been a problem for awhile now. At least we think we figured out why I suddenly gained 20 pounds in 2 months with little increase in food!!! DH & I both think it’s from the birth control shot I got at the end of March. I don’t think that will be renewed without talking with the doctor!!! I keep telling DH it’s easier for him to get snipped rather than me. He knows that but for some reason just doesn’t like the idea. *bg* I’ll let you know how the hearing goes. Anne H. "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world."
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>Anne R. was completely *disgusted* by the sentencing, but I >certainly know it wasn’t anything to do with you! Did you take >my suggestions with you to court? I thought they were pretty good, >since the judge obviously doesn’t have any creative thoughts in >this area.
I was too, Anne. No, I didn’t take the suggestions to court. I never went. I won’t go tomorrow. Particularly since BM & BM’s mother will be there tomorrow. (Actually, I get along pretty well with the grandmother, but BM and I are icily polite with each other.) DH knows what I think would be best for SD (residential rehab hospital). It is uncertain though whether the judge will even ask him what he thinks. The judge, Anne, often goes with the recommendation of attorneys and/or probation office. Although a lot of them aren’t creative, we do have some pretty good ones in the juvenile system. If SD gets one particular one tomorrow, she will not be the least bit happy because that woman is tough as nails and won’t take caca off these "kids." Anne H. "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world."
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On 27 May 2000 20:29:14 GMT, astafh…@aol.comnospam (Anne Haas) wrote: >>Is this because he’s defensive (or perhaps torn)? It seems to me the >>sooner he understands what’s going on for you the better – we’re not >>talking about you having a go at SD, but about post traumatic shock – >>entirely uncontrollable. That’s something that needs acknowledging, if >>you’re to continue to heal and learn to feel safe again. Any chance of a >>professional working with the two of you? >>Kevin >It could be, Kevin. I hadn’t even thought about the shock thing. I was >thinking of calling my former counselor and seeing about getting on with a >psychiatrist. The depression is getting deeper. DH said something this >morning that if it happens will be the end of my marriage.
Well, Anne, if I can have post-traumatic shock just from BM accusing me of the things she has, I would be quite surprised if you *aren’t* suffering from it. I think professional help is the best thing since sliced bread these days, and I hope that you do make that call ASAP. I think it is really important for *both* of you, but I also think you may want to have a session or two on your own first so you can really talk about how you feel with the psych, and then the psych will be able to explain how you feel to DH – not to mention exactly what you’re suffering from. It always seems to sink in more when it is a professional talking – at least it did here for my SO. He also felt that having all the symptoms explained to him – it was like a light being switched on and he finally understood how I felt. >He said something about trying to figure out how SD could move back here again. > I didn’t say anything other than it wouldn’t work unless she had a major >attitude change and she obviously hasn’t had one yet. >Apparently seeing her at the detention center really shook him up. The only >comment he made was that it was not a good place for her. (Excuse me but is a >good place for any kid?) I think that may be a good wake-up call for her. I >don’t know.
No, it’s not a good place for any kid to be – but some kids need to be there. I can understand how it would shake DH up, but he needs to understand that what she did was so horrible, and when you do horrible things you end up in horrible places. SD had a choice that night – she could have chosen to leave you alone and not violate you in the way she did. She is the one (mental health issues or not) that chose to take those actions, and she must face the consequences. And it is really hard for people around people who have made the wrong choices. You want to help and do everything you can for the person if it’s someone you love (and even sometimes you just want to help anyway) but you have to understand that this is something outside of your circle. And this is where your DH is probably at right now. He wants to protect his little girl – but his little girl did something wrong and he cannot change that. And sometimes, helping people can actually hurt them in the long term. (I’m not saying you as in *you* Anne, I’m saying you as in people who love people that make the wrong choices! – sorry if confusing >I’m thinking of calling and getting on with a psychiatrist instead of a >counselor. Actually, I haven’t been to see her in about 2 months. But I see >myself heading into some pretty severe depression here and probably ought to be >on some drugs. I did finally take a sleeping pill last night so I could get >some sleep. It did help.
You know, that’s something to be grateful for right there, Anne – that you can see yourself heading into depression. Me, I can’t see it until I’m on the other side and have just finished climbing out of that big dark hole – that’s when I realise just how big the hole was and how lucky I was to climb out of it. Like right now, I know I must be depressed, but I still can’t *see* it. 
I remember you writing something a week or two ago, and I wanted to reply to it, but I don’t think I did. At the moment, I’d forget my head if it wasn’t attached!! I do know that I wanted to recommend a book to you – _The Gift of Fear_ by Gavin De Becker – but right now I can’t remember exactly why I wanted to recommend it to you! I’m thinking of you, Anne Mel – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Anne H. >"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might >be the world."
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In article <sj24clpl5pj…@corp.supernews.com>, posted Sun, 28 May 2000 07:38:33 -0700, Jana Lockhart says… > I have no advice just support. I have a relative that went through a similar > thing. Just remember that she is ill. She needs help and you need to not > forget about yourself. She needs love and support but so do you. Make sure > you take some time for yourself. Jana
Anne, From this vantage point… I wonder if taking time for yourself might mean putting some distance between you and SD, both in time and miles. This is a tough place for you, and for Roy. It’s a question of what you can cope with, and are willing to risk. Kevin – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "Ruth" <r…@i-1.net> wrote in message news:3930A7CA.35161AF3@i-1.net… > > Anne, > > I kinda came into this group in the middle of whatever it was you were > going > > through, so I don’t know the history of what Roy does. what I do know is > that when > > you were at your lowest; when Andrea went off the deep end, Roy was there > > protecting and supporting you. he knows it was real wrong of her. Now, I > guess > > he’s had some time to process the disturbing turns Andrea has taken and > maybe he > > just wants to help her get better. that’s not a strike against you. > > keep remembering how he supported you. he sounds scared right now. > > {{love and hugs to you!}} > > Ruth > > Anne Haas wrote: > > > >Andrea is a very ill girl on > > > >many levels and until she hits bottom she cannot even begin to see what > she > > > >has > > > >done wrong. > > > Very true. I don’t know if this little stay at the detention center > will do > > > the trick or not. I do not THINK they keep the kids there for very > long, i.e., > > > maybe a couple weeks max, but I could be wrong. It’s the first time > she’s ever > > > been in jail. I hope it’s an eye opener for her. > > > I know Roy is torn. I would be also. The only "arguement" I can think > of is > > > that within 1-2 years, she will be "gone" and living her own life and he > will > > > be all alone. > > > I don’t know why I’m worrying about all of this right now. Like I said > before, > > > the chances of the judge releasing her again on probation are very slim. > Geez, > > > the girl couldn’t make it a week without getting in trouble. The > probation > > > office would probably recommend that she not be released into his > custody > > > anyway. I am sure that in their investigation of her, they discovered t > hat we > > > had little control of her also. > > > I can understand his wanting to keep her out of trouble, but observation > has > > > shown that he tends to think about it when she’s pretty much at the > point of no > > > return and needs a good lesson. This is somewhat similar to what we > went > > > through when we decided to put her in the hospital and he thought about > backing > > > out of it. > > > Anne H. > > > "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might > > > be the world."
– HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY 5) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won!" "I won!" "3rd time this week!"
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>Andrea is a very ill girl on >many levels and until she hits bottom she cannot even begin to see what she >has >done wrong.
Very true. I don’t know if this little stay at the detention center will do the trick or not. I do not THINK they keep the kids there for very long, i.e., maybe a couple weeks max, but I could be wrong. It’s the first time she’s ever been in jail. I hope it’s an eye opener for her. I know Roy is torn. I would be also. The only "arguement" I can think of is that within 1-2 years, she will be "gone" and living her own life and he will be all alone. I don’t know why I’m worrying about all of this right now. Like I said before, the chances of the judge releasing her again on probation are very slim. Geez, the girl couldn’t make it a week without getting in trouble. The probation office would probably recommend that she not be released into his custody anyway. I am sure that in their investigation of her, they discovered that we had little control of her also. I can understand his wanting to keep her out of trouble, but observation has shown that he tends to think about it when she’s pretty much at the point of no return and needs a good lesson. This is somewhat similar to what we went through when we decided to put her in the hospital and he thought about backing out of it. Anne H. "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world."
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>I read your post several times, just can’t seem to find the right words >for what I want to say.
That’s kind of how I feel. Everything is such a maelstrom right now that I don’t know if I make myself clear or not. >Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you, Kathi. :-) Anne H. "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world."
Response:
I have no advice just support. I have a relative that went through a similar thing. Just remember that she is ill. She needs help and you need to not forget about yourself. She needs love and support but so do you. Make sure you take some time for yourself. Jana – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -"Ruth" <r…@i-1.net> wrote in message news:3930A7CA.35161AF3@i-1.net… > Anne, > I kinda came into this group in the middle of whatever it was you were going > through, so I don’t know the history of what Roy does. what I do know is that when > you were at your lowest; when Andrea went off the deep end, Roy was there > protecting and supporting you. he knows it was real wrong of her. Now, I guess > he’s had some time to process the disturbing turns Andrea has taken and maybe he > just wants to help her get better. that’s not a strike against you. > keep remembering how he supported you. he sounds scared right now. > {{love and hugs to you!}} > Ruth > Anne Haas wrote: > > >Andrea is a very ill girl on > > >many levels and until she hits bottom she cannot even begin to see what she > > >has > > >done wrong. > > Very true. I don’t know if this little stay at the detention center will do > > the trick or not. I do not THINK they keep the kids there for very long, i.e., > > maybe a couple weeks max, but I could be wrong. It’s the first time she’s ever > > been in jail. I hope it’s an eye opener for her. > > I know Roy is torn. I would be also. The only "arguement" I can think of is > > that within 1-2 years, she will be "gone" and living her own life and he will > > be all alone. > > I don’t know why I’m worrying about all of this right now. Like I said before, > > the chances of the judge releasing her again on probation are very slim. Geez, > > the girl couldn’t make it a week without getting in trouble. The probation > > office would probably recommend that she not be released into his custody > > anyway. I am sure that in their investigation of her, they discovered t hat we > > had little control of her also. > > I can understand his wanting to keep her out of trouble, but observation has > > shown that he tends to think about it when she’s pretty much at the point of no > > return and needs a good lesson. This is somewhat similar to what we went > > through when we decided to put her in the hospital and he thought about backing > > out of it. > > Anne H. > > "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might > > be the world."
Response:
I read your post several times, just can’t seem to find the right words for what I want to say. Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs Kathi * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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Anne: If it’ll help at all, what the Judge may do is sentence the SD to a psych hospital for kids. Basically a ward in the hospital where they get the help they need for their mental illness. The workers try and help the kids see what they’re doing and try and teach them "normal" behavior so that one day they can re-enter society. I don’t know if you know that the job I started last work is actually working with kids with mental illness. Luckily, I’m only the secretary for the Social Workers, but the stories I hear about some of these kids just send me home and I’ll be hugging Tori all night! Several of the kids in our program are in the hospital. They get passes if they’re good, so they can leave to visit family for a few hours or the weekend. If they’re really bad off, they’ll be on special wards. There are several levels to the wards. They have a team of professionals working with the kids, including therapists, counselors, social workers, etc. I don’t know if any of that is new information to you or not, but it might help your husband to know that at least his daughter will start getting the help she needs. Cindy
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>He said something about trying to figure out how SD could move back here >again. > I didn’t say anything other than it wouldn’t work unless she had a major >attitude change and she obviously hasn’t had one yet.
This has got to be so hard for both of you. You are in a place where you are not ready to deal with seeing SD let alone live with her, and you know what? You have that right. You have the right to feels safe and secure in your own home, and you have the right not to take care of someone who abused you. OTOH DH has got to feel completely torn. This is his daughter and he not only is responsible for her but he loves her and wants to to the best he can to save her from complete self-destruction. He, as a parent, not only has the right but the responsibility to do these things. To do this is in conflict with his wife, his lover and partner. DH has to find a balence between his responsibilities to his wife and his daughter. He also must know that whatever he does now will have permanent consquences on his relationship with both of you. >I’m thinking of calling and getting on with a psychiatrist instead of a >counselor. Actually, I haven’t been to see her in about 2 months. But I see >myself heading into some pretty severe depression here and probably ought to >be >on some drugs.
Could you continue counseling as well as a psychiatrist? Anne I think your first concern at this point has to be you, and you must decide your limits. Roy has no choice and has to consider Andrea but you do not. The best option is if the two of you could come to an agreement that is liveable for everyone, but this might not happen. Andrea is a very ill girl on many levels and until she hits bottom she cannot even begin to see what she has done wrong. Love, Melissa "Every once in awhile declare peace; it confuses the hell out of your enemies" -Ferengi rule of Aquisition #76
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In article <20000527162914.26489.00000…@ng-fm1.aol.com>, posted 27 May 2000 20:29:14 GMT, Anne Haas says… > >Is this because he’s defensive (or perhaps torn)? It seems to me the > >sooner he understands what’s going on for you the better – we’re not > >talking about you having a go at SD, but about post traumatic shock – > >entirely uncontrollable. That’s something that needs acknowledging, if > >you’re to continue to heal and learn to feel safe again. Any chance of a > >professional working with the two of you? > >Kevin > It could be, Kevin. I hadn’t even thought about the shock thing. I was > thinking of calling my former counselor and seeing about getting on with a > psychiatrist. The depression is getting deeper.
Yes, I can believe that. If you can get to someone to give some professional advice, that would be good. When i read about the attack on you I thought it would be a long while for you to readjust and to heal – not just the physical damage, but the relentless knowledge of what it is to have your vulnerability truly abused… the emotional pain of what it is to know you have a damaged body and to know in your bones that it *can* happen. It seems clear to me that all the uncertainty of what is happening to SD is not serving you well at all. Even when she’s safely away somewhere, you’re still afraid – isn’t that right??? Safety – it’s a basic human need. Definitely the counsellor/Psychiatrist . maybe somewhere along the line some self-defense classes. I know that may not be your bag, but it’s just a suggestion for now. And I think your DH could do with some help too – it’s clear he needs some support, and aid in understanding the long term implications of an attack like that. His ‘father’ instinct must be racking him some of these days. He may not show it, but I’d guess he’s deeply unhappy seeing his daughter in this state in a general sense, not just at the detention centre… but I’m hoping he can also be woken up to your truth and needs. more… > DH said something this > morning that if it happens will be the end of my marriage. > He said something about trying to figure out how SD could move back here again. > I didn’t say anything other than it wouldn’t work unless she had a major > attitude change and she obviously hasn’t had one yet.
Well it’s partly a solution – but also knowing how and whether you can have time to reach safety within yourself. Even with an attitude change on SD’s part do you think you’d feel safe? Within two months? A year? Three years? I’d think in terms of three years, then work down from there if it comes quicker. many thoughts, Kevin – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Apparently seeing her at the detention center really shook him up. The only > comment he made was that it was not a good place for her. (Excuse me but is a > good place for any kid?) I think that may be a good wake-up call for her. I > don’t know. > I’m thinking of calling and getting on with a psychiatrist instead of a > counselor. Actually, I haven’t been to see her in about 2 months. But I see > myself heading into some pretty severe depression here and probably ought to be > on some drugs. I did finally take a sleeping pill last night so I could get > some sleep. It did help. > Anne H. > "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might > be the world."
–
Response:
>Is this because he’s defensive (or perhaps torn)? It seems to me the >sooner he understands what’s going on for you the better – we’re not >talking about you having a go at SD, but about post traumatic shock – >entirely uncontrollable. That’s something that needs acknowledging, if >you’re to continue to heal and learn to feel safe again. Any chance of a >professional working with the two of you? >Kevin
It could be, Kevin. I hadn’t even thought about the shock thing. I was thinking of calling my former counselor and seeing about getting on with a psychiatrist. The depression is getting deeper. DH said something this morning that if it happens will be the end of my marriage. He said something about trying to figure out how SD could move back here again. I didn’t say anything other than it wouldn’t work unless she had a major attitude change and she obviously hasn’t had one yet. Apparently seeing her at the detention center really shook him up. The only comment he made was that it was not a good place for her. (Excuse me but is a good place for any kid?) I think that may be a good wake-up call for her. I don’t know. I’m thinking of calling and getting on with a psychiatrist instead of a counselor. Actually, I haven’t been to see her in about 2 months. But I see myself heading into some pretty severe depression here and probably ought to be on some drugs. I did finally take a sleeping pill last night so I could get some sleep. It did help. Anne H. "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world."
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On 26 May 2000 00:07:59 GMT, astafh…@aol.comnospam (Anne Haas) wrote: >SD was picked up by the police about an hour ago for breaking probation – it >was just under a week since she was sentenced. >Part of her probation included no alcohol, etc. As y’all might recall, she was >staying with the family of a friend. She, her friend & another "hoodlum" were >out in the front yard of that house at 1:30 this morning drinking. They >somehow managed to wake up the mother. According to DH, this was the last >straw & she reported SD to her probation officer. >The police picked her up around 6 pm and were taking her to the juvenile >detention center. There will probably be a hearing tomorrow or Tuesday. No >one has called DH with any details yet.
Score one for the cops!! Good for them! Put her where she belongs! Nicole (who is opinionated and bitchy today) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I can’t really say much to DH, but I can to y’all. :-) I’m actually relieved >that she is in custody now. I just feel safer. I know Anne R. was a wee bit >upset about the sentencing but I had no influence over that. The probation >office had recommended that she be put in "reform" school but the judge >accepted the agreement made between the two attorneys. Of course, those of us >that know SD knew it was a matter of time before she broke probation. >I will let y’all know what happens. >Anne H. >"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might >be the world."
Response:
SD was picked up by the police about an hour ago for breaking probation – it was just under a week since she was sentenced. Part of her probation included no alcohol, etc. As y’all might recall, she was staying with the family of a friend. She, her friend & another "hoodlum" were out in the front yard of that house at 1:30 this morning drinking. They somehow managed to wake up the mother. According to DH, this was the last straw & she reported SD to her probation officer. The police picked her up around 6 pm and were taking her to the juvenile detention center. There will probably be a hearing tomorrow or Tuesday. No one has called DH with any details yet. I can’t really say much to DH, but I can to y’all. :-) I’m actually relieved that she is in custody now. I just feel safer. I know Anne R. was a wee bit upset about the sentencing but I had no influence over that. The probation office had recommended that she be put in "reform" school but the judge accepted the agreement made between the two attorneys. Of course, those of us that know SD knew it was a matter of time before she broke probation. I will let y’all know what happens. Anne H. "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world."
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>SD was picked up by the police about an hour ago for breaking probation – it >was just under a week since she was sentenced.
This does not surprise me at all. Personally I think SD both wanted and needed to be removed from society for awhile. I think she’s been trying her best to get into a hospital or Juvy for some time now. Anne I know that this may not be of your concern anymore but if it’s possible could Roy make sure she gets therapy or some kind of treatment while she’s in? Not only is Andrea an alcaholic, but she’s just been raped and is in desperate need of help as well as a dose of reality. Somewhere inside this monster of a teenager is a very scared little girl who knows no way to stop the pattern she has begun. Love, Melissa "Every once in awhile declare peace; it confuses the hell out of your enemies" -Ferengi rule of Aquisition #76
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>Personally I think SD both wanted and needed >to be removed from society for awhile. I think she’s been trying her best to >get into a hospital or Juvy for some time now.
I agree. >make sure she gets therapy or some kind of treatment while she’s in? >Not only is Andrea an alcaholic, but she’s just been raped and is in >desperate >need of help as well as a dose of reality. Somewhere inside this monster of >a >teenager is a very scared little girl who knows no way to stop the pattern >she >has begun.
I know. Her normal psychiatrist works with the kids in Juvey. In fact, a lot of them are her normal patients anyway. *sigh* DH is taking some of his frustration out on me. I realize this and know it’s normal but it’s hard not to get into a full-blown fight over some of the crap he’s spouted. He made some comment last night about me having it out for SD. I left the room. Later, I told him that I didn’t feel like I had it out for her. I could see where some of my actions might indicate that (like telling the PO about her not completing her probation of the second smoking violation, but they would have found that out when they started checking into her background). I told him that I admit that a part of the bratty side of me is gleeful that she is getting her just desserts but I didn’t like feeling that way. What I didn’t tell him was the relief I’m feeling knowing that she is locked up. I can’t tell you how often I have been scared that I would look up and see her standing across the street looking into the house or in the backyard doing the same thing. I just about had a coronary when she stopped here a couple weeks ago about 10 pm to have her dad drive her "home" since she was riding a bike. I didn’t even open the door but when she said who she was, my heart started racing. I didn’t settle down until Roy got home again. I don’t like living this way and it’s a real bitch that I can’t tell my husband how I feel. You might see me venting on here a lot in the near future. It seems like I cannot talk with my husband, at least not yet. btw, the hearing is on Tuesday afternoon. I will let y’all know what happens. Anne H. "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world."
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Hi Anne, Boy – I would think some sort of highly supervised situation is really called for. Not just for society, but for SD sake as well. I don’t know if that means jail – I’d like to think there are better alternatives… I keep thinking if it’s more mental than criminal that a group home might be more appropriate. I am sorry to hear that these SD issues are coming between you and DH. Hopefully with time that wall will come down… I would think it’s perfectly reasonable that you would feel relieved she’s been picked up again. You’ve suffered terribly. Merrie Anne Haas <astafh…@aol.comnospam> wrote in message
news:20000525200759.18933.00000068@ng-cs1.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> SD was picked up by the police about an hour ago for breaking probation – it > was just under a week since she was sentenced. > Part of her probation included no alcohol, etc. As y’all might recall, she was > staying with the family of a friend. She, her friend & another "hoodlum" were > out in the front yard of that house at 1:30 this morning drinking. They > somehow managed to wake up the mother. According to DH, this was the last > straw & she reported SD to her probation officer. > The police picked her up around 6 pm and were taking her to the juvenile > detention center. There will probably be a hearing tomorrow or Tuesday. No > one has called DH with any details yet. > I can’t really say much to DH, but I can to y’all. :-) I’m actually relieved > that she is in custody now. I just feel safer. I know Anne R. was a wee bit > upset about the sentencing but I had no influence over that. The probation > office had recommended that she be put in "reform" school but the judge > accepted the agreement made between the two attorneys. Of course, those of us > that know SD knew it was a matter of time before she broke probation. > I will let y’all know what happens. > Anne H. > "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might > be the world."
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Hugs Anne. This is a terrible mess for both of you… >You might see me venting on here a lot in the near future. It seems like I >cannot talk with my husband, at least not yet.
"This time: gonna do it RIGHT!" — Bob Seger Jennaii
Response:
In article <20000526181720.22571.00000…@ng-cr1.aol.com>, posted 26 May 2000 22:17:20 GMT, Anne Haas says… > You might see me venting on here a lot in the near future. It seems like I > cannot talk with my husband, at least not yet.
Is this because he’s defensive (or perhaps torn)? It seems to me the sooner he understands what’s going on for you the better – we’re not talking about you having a go at SD, but about post traumatic shock – entirely uncontrollable. That’s something that needs acknowledging, if you’re to continue to heal and learn to feel safe again. Any chance of a professional working with the two of you? Kevin — HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY 1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
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