Question:
On 4-1-97 I WAS AIRLIFTED AND HAD BRAIN SURGERY.I WAS IN A COMA AND WASN’T EXPECTED TO MAKE IT.I OBVIOUSLY DID.I have been having a very hard time of it since than. I started having this peculiar smell and I would think here it comes again. I’d say this time I have to remember what I am seeing. It always happens when I am in the food market.in the candy isle for some reason or other. I smell, than I have this vision and I know its always the same but no matter how hard I try I can never remember it when it ends. I do know that I turn white as a ghost and I am terrified.I than have a hot flash during which I feel that someone is going to get me and kill me. I get sick thinking about it. I also have been in agony from my injuries. Four discs in my neck,2 bulging,2 herniated slightly,a compression fracture in the middle of my spine, Shoulder has scapula injury, ptsd,nerve damage in left arm. I also am in recovery from addiction. I overdosed 4 or 5 times from heroin and I was placed in foster care at age 3 1/2. I was molested and my first memories were GOD let me die but please get my daddy(was an alcoholic) mommy and brother together and you can take my life. I have always thought about dying from an early age. Dr told me this all cotributes to my ptsd. my brother was murdered at Hampden ,Va. in 1985 at the Grateful Dead concert. I am not looking for pity but I can’t stop thinking thatI am going to die . I know we will all die but what I am saying is that I am terrified to drive, to have friends ,to get close to any one because I think they will desert me. My brother was the only person I loved until my sons were born and now I am with a beautiful woman whom I am married to for 6 months. She has helped me and I love her but I can’t stop thinking about death and I don’t talk to any one about this stuff. Thanks for listening
Response:
There are so many possibilities of what is causing all of your symtons that I think they need to be separated and dealt with one at a time.No easy task!!! A thought came to me re:the supermarket episode,it may be that you are experiencing some type of seizure activity brought on by a specific odor,with a history of head trauma this would not be all that unusual the resultant feelings of panic,anxiety and imminent death may be justified if some part of your brains neural activity is firing in rapid succession.Do you see a neurologist? Are you currently on any anti-seizure meds? It may be worthwhile to discuss this with your Doc.Just a thought,best of luck,hang in there,J.De Garay
Response:
I just came from the rehabilatation hospitals cognitive / speech department. I saw a psychologist by the name ofMicah R. Sadigh.He just published an article in "Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback,Vol.24,No.3,1999. The Treatment of Recalcitrant Post-traumatic Nightmares with Autogenic Training and Autogenic Abreaction:A Case Study. I will start his program in April when I get back from Teramo, Italy. I will be in the Pain Management Program in Good Shepherd Hospital, located in Allentown,Pa. I had a EEG which ruled out seizure. The program is one of the best in the Philadelphia area. I have seen,PT,OT,Psychology,Psychiatry,Cognitve, and a few others in this last few weeks. They improved my neck with traction and some kind of evil electric stim and injecting steroids and flexoril. My family is a Osteopath and he manipulates my back, where it was fractured. I don’t like him to do my neck though. well talk to you soon.Thankyou for the help.Patrick
Response:
Patrick,Sounds like you have the ball rolling in addressing your issues.I hope you can continue to communicate,I would be interested to hear of what you learn in the pain management program.Best of Luck .Hang Tough,,DeGaray
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