Question:
Ok… I’m a guy (39)… but I need some info. My girlfrined (46) I suspect is experiencing some stage of menopause etc. She doesnt really think so I need some info, and suggestions how to deal with this. Her symptoms: 1) Night sweats sometimes 2) Feels like she is crawling out of her skin, and her mind is racing/jumpy 3) House temp is either set at 70′F or 90′F 4) She took the pill for a while and that appeared to level out the above 5) Very moody… crying, and suicidal… to angry and never agrees with anyone..(she blows up at everything/everyone) 6) Back/Hip/Bone pain.. (is this a symptom?) The problems complicating things 1) She had a BAD divorce, where the hubby has/still plays games with the kids (21-23) 2) Hubby is a classic "Parental Alienation syndrome" case 3) Daughter is finally coming around after 3 yrs… son wants nothing to do with mom 4) Standard work B.S. 5) She smokes.. so they pulled her off of the pill. 6) High rate of breast cancer in family, and she has alread numerous non-cancerous cysts. (there was some common name, I forget) 7) EVERY person in her family had a hist early on in life, and non have really had menopause symptoms.. so none can offer support. Sooo….the way I see it, her life is troublesome, and difficult in the best of times, and now I believe her hormones are acting up. She often gets SOOOO depressed, I wonder if its hormones, or classic depression. How depressed have people got strictly due to menopause? She often talks of suicide.! I am wondering if there is some HRT for this. If so what drug. How safe is it? Can she smoke on the HRT? What affect will it have on Breast Cancer? How long will this menopause typically last? Ugghhh… I guess all I can say is HELP! How do I deal with her moods, etc? Do I just leave her alone.. Do I rub her feet? Do I feed her chocolates? What the heck do I do.. I ALWAYS loose! I am never right.. can never do the right thing? Is this just part of menopause? I mean.. she says she feels wound up inside.. so does that mean I cant do anything right? Any support/advice for a poor guy thats really trying, and has no clue what to do would be app. Thanks Much Andrew adudinskyS…@cogeco.ca (please remove the word SPAM from email before replying
Response:
Welcome, Andrew. Here is my opinion, and it’s *just* my opinion: Don’t believe the hype. Women do not automatically go crazy at menopause. Women do not automatically need to be "put on something" to "regulate their hormones." HT (it’s not called HRT any more) can be useful for short-term relief of symptoms felt to be disabling, but is now known to be too risky for any kind of long-term use. If your girlfriend is already at risk because of tobacco use, this doesn’t seem like the direction to go in. One thing you might not realize is that it often takes women much longer to get over a bad marriage or bad relationship than it takes men. After my breakup with husband #2, he was re-married within a year and a half (and no, he did *not* get involved with her while we were together), and I hadn’t even started dating yet. I was still licking my wounds, so to speak. I admit there are some problems in my current relationship that go back to my marriages. This may be happening in your relationship too. Also, my current boyfriend, who doesn’t have children, once told me how hard it was for him to come to realize that when you get involved with a woman who has children, those children’s needs and problems are always going to come first. Is this like what’s going on with you? It’s great that you are looking for a way to help your girlfriend and your relationship, but remember it’s not up to you to fix everything for her! In other words, please encourage her to post here herself, and if she talks about her specific problems, believe me, she’ll get lots of good responses. Eva
Response:
"A.Dudinsky" <adudinskyS…@cogeco.ca> wrote in message
news:qYMLc.45471$XY6.3682023@read2.cgocable.net… > Ok… I’m a guy (39)… but I need some info. My girlfrined (46) I suspect > is experiencing some stage of menopause etc. She doesnt really think so I > need some info, and suggestions how to deal with this.
I can address some of your questions, not all – but others will probably be able to answer those. > Her symptoms: > 1) Night sweats sometimes > 2) Feels like she is crawling out of her skin, and her mind is
racing/jumpy These two sound like menopausal things to me. > 3) House temp is either set at 70′F or 90′F
I never want it warm in the house anymore – my thermostat’s set for 66 – 67
If you like this post and would like to receive updates from this blog, please subscribe our feed.