Question:
Celeste, these new "kinder, gentler" posts are really quite amazing. Having seen the earlier post from Valerie, I would have bet that you couldn’t respond to any note mentioning PRIMAL WOUND without saying "Primal Bunk" … But you did! Boy, am I surprised and delighted. Sue T.
Response:
I am new to this group and ask for your patience. I have always known I was adopted but it was always ‘our business’ but still ‘nothing to be ashamed of’. (Boy, there’s a double message). I am in treatment for severe depression. Has anyone else dealth with depression and what did you do to help yourself? I have located a counselor in my area who’s specialty is adoption. Is that a good idea? I am reading a book called Primal Wound and I can see myself and my behaviors so clearly in that book, yet it was something I never really associated with being adopted. Would like to hear from anyone who can help. Thanx. Valerie
Valerie, Depression is quite prevelent in the adoption community. I don’t believe that many women facing relinquishing the child they were carrying avoided depression, which the baby would have experienced also. I would hope that your counselor is aware of the layering that adoption does to us, but not be solely blaming adoption. I think of adoptees as a train on a circular track. Each time they have an experience they pass by the file cabinet in their brain and file the experience either under adoption or under NOT adoption. And then in therapy the job is to take out each file in the Adoption section, examine them and consider what part is adoption and what part is sibling rivalry or what ever and refile everything. What a paradox. We have to trust our therapists and yet we know too many of the professionals don’t get adoption issues and trust is our major issue. I like Primal Wound, but would have begun with BJ Lifton’s early books, such as Twice born. I also like her latest book a lot. I always ask therapists if they have dealt with post traumatic stress, as a check on how much they might be able to help an adoptee. Good luck. Hope you keep writing and sharing here also. Jean, adopted person.
Response:
I am new to this group and ask for your patience. I have always known I was adopted but it was always ‘our business’ but still ‘nothing to be ashamed of’. (Boy, there’s a double message). I am in treatment for severe depression. Has anyone else dealth with depression and what did you do to help yourself? I have located a counselor in my area who’s specialty is adoption. Is that a good idea? I am reading a book called Primal Wound and I can see myself and my behaviors so clearly in that book, yet it was something I never really associated with being adopted. Would like to hear from anyone who can help. Thanx. Valerie
Response:
I am new to this group and ask for your patience. I have always known I was adopted but it was always ‘our business’ but still ‘nothing to be ashamed of’. (Boy, there’s a double message). I am in treatment for severe depression. Has anyone else dealth with depression and what did you do to help yourself? I have located a counselor in my area who’s specialty is adoption. Is that a good idea? I am reading a book called Primal Wound and I can see myself and my behaviors so clearly in that book, yet it was something I never really associated with being adopted. Would like to hear from anyone who can help. Thanx. Valerie
You need to have answers to some questions. In all likelyhood, adoption was the beginning of the answers and solutions, and not the causes. But would have been best for you to have had more information about your pre-adoptive history than you and your adoptive parents were given at the time you were adopted. What age were you placed for adoption? Did you spend any time in interim or foster care? Do you have any idea if you may have a history of abuse? Some forms of depressive illnesses are biologically inherited, some of it could be due your inborn temperament, and/or the lack of understanding of your temperament. Celeste — Celeste’s filtered message list: 1. DeerWatson 2. WorldWide Registry 3. Sue Tretter 4. Steve White 5. Patty Bybee Forewarning: If you want me to read what you have to say, don’t flame me, don’t spam me or you’ll be next to be added to this list. I keep a list for those who send me unwanted e*mail too, hee, hee. Heck with lies, the sun sets are peaceful at my house ||||/ __ __/ __ /|||| / / | ____ | | | | | | ____ | | ___ | | | | |
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