Question:
there isnt’ a subject cause it is just hoeplessness and knwoing that fhte last ditsch attempt to find a way to contineu got sh*t on by someone hwo considers themself to be byeond all cruelty and stupdity. so waht do you do when the road cirlscles back to ysoruself and the yourself in the mirror is so broken and the spirit to try is so worn that most of the wakign hours are lost to the desier to d*e and the enregy is spent trying to psuh the images of d*ath away form your imaginaation? it’s ok, it’s a rhetorical queistion. sorry for the typos. soemtimes i think that the end of the line is jsut that. it is the point, or lack of point in mathematicla terms, where a line ceasees to exist. the point is rescindied. the forwarld movement of vision and imagination and reason all stop becuase the point does not exist and the line ends. hope is not a mathematical quantity. it doesn’t even weigh enough to lay your head on. i am sorry for only saying hoepless nad sorry stuff anymore. we belivce that if you can’t find a way to fix things or to search ofor hope or a way to move forward that you shoudl jsut be quiet so you don’t bore people and also so you do prove what a stupid waste you are. it jsut hurt too much tonite to try one last time for help and to be remdinded that we are jsut a broken nothing. we can hide and knwo that. i dont’ want to go out and fnid hurt. i don’t think i ahve anything to say about any of theis stuff. we are too tired of hurting and wantnig to d*e. you are all such good people here and we think you all thry very hard to help each othre and find wasy to get ok when you can and there isnt’ anything we ahve to offer exepct msirey. and we are sick to d*ath of it. i think it has pretty much desrtoyed our life. so i think i won’t spread it aorund here again. sorry. thais is so messed up and junky. my thinking isn’t very good anymeor. worese tonite. worse tomorrow too. betsy — I am a community of no less than a thousand. I am not an I. I am a country of persons. -Nuruddin Farah
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – there isnt’ a subject cause it is just hoeplessness and knwoing that fhte last ditsch attempt to find a way to contineu got sh*t on by someone hwo considers themself to be byeond all cruelty and stupdity. so waht do you do when the road cirlscles back to ysoruself and the yourself in the mirror is so broken and the spirit to try is so worn that most of the wakign hours are lost to the desier to d*e and the enregy is spent trying to psuh the images of d*ath away form your imaginaation? it’s ok, it’s a rhetorical queistion. sorry for the typos. soemtimes i think that the end of the line is jsut that. it is the point, or lack of point in mathematicla terms, where a line ceasees to exist. the point is rescindied. the forwarld movement of vision and imagination and reason all stop becuase the point does not exist and the line ends. hope is not a mathematical quantity. it doesn’t even weigh enough to lay your head on. i am sorry for only saying hoepless nad sorry stuff anymore. we belivce that if you can’t find a way to fix things or to search ofor hope or a way to move forward that you shoudl jsut be quiet so you don’t bore people and also so you do prove what a stupid waste you are. it jsut hurt too much tonite to try one last time for help and to be remdinded that we are jsut a broken nothing. we can hide and knwo that. i dont’ want to go out and fnid hurt. i don’t think i ahve anything to say about any of theis stuff. we are too tired of hurting and wantnig to d*e. you are all such good people here and we think you all thry very hard to help each othre and find wasy to get ok when you can and there isnt’ anything we ahve to offer exepct msirey.
you know, we don;t think that is true, and we probably can;t explain it the way dove coulld. maybe you don;t even know who dove is, though…anyway, all of us get so much from the things you write, but we never know how, or what to say, and even think oh, she doens;t want to hear from the likes of us. but every time we see your email address on a post, we read and it speaks to someone insied. someitmes, us, H&V, sometimes dove, sometimes our one who feels like what youre saying here (we just call tht one DS), and sometimes even our mean CS. we were reading here a long time and once dove was thinking, every time we read one of your posts we like you more and more. then we realized that you remind us of so many of us. then we realized that we can’t like you and hate ourselves, if we think we are like you or you remind us of us…..so you helped us to start liking ourselves better. so, maybe it is wrong to say all this silliness, but we wanted to show yhou that you have stuff to offer that you fdont; even realize. we are sorry we cant explain it better,. maybe dove can somedya but she can be pretty shy. and we are sick to d*ath of it. i think it has pretty much desrtoyed our life. so i think i won’t spread it aorund here again.
we think it is okay to be how ever you need to be here. (but we think we are writing to much and tellin too much, so we are going to stop now) sorry. thais is so messed up and junky. my thinking isn’t very good anymeor. worese tonite. worse tomorrow too.
we are really sorry you are feelign so sad and wish we were knowing of a way or a thing to say to make it better. wish there wwere a magic way. violet and hope betsy — I am a community of no less than a thousand. I am not an I. I am a country of persons. -Nuruddin Farah
– For info about this service, see http://anon.twwells.com/help/ or e-mail:
Response:
don’t know about anybody else, but when my heart swells in sympathy for your pain and despair, it finds an echo within me that leads me to a pocket in my soul that’s been hurting and feeling unworthy to look to me for ease. it’s much easier for me to be kind and understanding and accepting to someone else, rather than myself. so there is value in posting abt one’s pain, even though one might feel like that’s all one ever contributes. If someone only posts happy stuff, then i wouldn’t feel right posting sad stuff. we’re all on this group to help each other. it’s a dynamic relationship. each member has something to contribute, including you. Maybe even especially you, cuz you *need* support right now. It helps us (speaking for myself if not the group) to be able to offer support to someone in need. So, out of pure selfishness, I offer you my understanding and sympathy and support, and as many hugs as you can carry around with you, so you’ll always have some when you need them most. I’m sorry you’re hurting so much. But you have worth. dyenths
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – there isnt’ a subject cause it is just hoeplessness and knwoing that fhte last ditsch attempt to find a way to contineu got sh*t on by someone hwo considers themself to be byeond all cruelty and stupdity. so waht do you do when the road cirlscles back to ysoruself and the yourself in the mirror is so broken and the spirit to try is so worn that most of the wakign hours are lost to the desier to d*e and the enregy is spent trying to psuh the images of d*ath away form your imaginaation? it’s ok, it’s a rhetorical queistion. sorry for the typos. soemtimes i think that the end of the line is jsut that. it is the point, or lack of point in mathematicla terms, where a line ceasees to exist. the point is rescindied. the forwarld movement of vision and imagination and reason all stop becuase the point does not exist and the line ends. hope is not a mathematical quantity. it doesn’t even weigh enough to lay your head on. i am sorry for only saying hoepless nad sorry stuff anymore. we belivce that if you can’t find a way to fix things or to search ofor hope or a way to move forward that you shoudl jsut be quiet so you don’t bore people and also so you do prove what a stupid waste you are. it jsut hurt too much tonite to try one last time for help and to be remdinded that we are jsut a broken nothing. we can hide and knwo that. i dont’ want to go out and fnid hurt. i don’t think i ahve anything to say about any of theis stuff. we are too tired of hurting and wantnig to d*e. you are all such good people here and we think you all thry very hard to help each othre and find wasy to get ok when you can and there isnt’ anything we ahve to offer exepct msirey. and we are sick to d*ath of it. i think it has pretty much desrtoyed our life. so i think i won’t spread it aorund here again. sorry. thais is so messed up and junky. my thinking isn’t very good anymeor. worese tonite. worse tomorrow too. betsy — I am a community of no less than a thousand. I am not an I. I am a country of persons. -Nuruddin Farah
Response:
there isnt’ a subject cause it is just hoeplessness and knwoing that fhte last ditsch attempt to find a way to contineu got sh*t on by someone hwo considers themself to be byeond all cruelty and stupdity.
if you can be spiteful enough not to let that one affect you? well, i always think that but i never totally manage it. so waht do you do when the road cirlscles back to ysoruself and the yourself in the mirror is so broken and the spirit to try is so worn that most of the wakign hours are lost to the desier to d*e and the enregy is spent trying to psuh the images of d*ath away form your imaginaation?
i just do that, what you just said. lose hours. after awhile i stop trying to push the stuff away because after awhile who cares. it’s ok, it’s a rhetorical queistion.
and a rhetorical answer. sorry for the typos.
’s okay. i’m sorry for a whole buncha stuff. soemtimes i think that the end of the line is jsut that. it is the point, or lack of point in mathematicla terms, where a line ceasees to exist. the point is rescindied. the forwarld movement of vision and imagination and reason all stop becuase the point does not exist and the line ends. hope is not a mathematical quantity. it doesn’t even weigh enough to lay your head on.
good poetry on bad feelings. oh maybe that’s what you do. i am sorry for only saying hoepless nad sorry stuff anymore.
’s okay. i am sorry for a whole buncha stuff. we belivce that if you can’t find a way to fix things or to search ofor hope or a way to move forward that you shoudl jsut be quiet so you don’t bore people and also so you do prove what a stupid waste you are.
i dunno. sometimes think this, sometimes that. it jsut hurt too much tonite to try one last time for help and to be remdinded that we are jsut a broken nothing.
this reminds me of me at sometimes. we can hide and knwo that. i dont’ want to go out and fnid hurt.
me neither. and sometimes it comes right inside when we’re trying hardest to hide from it. i don’t think i ahve anything to say about any of theis stuff. we are too tired of hurting and wantnig to d*e. you are all such good people here and we think you all thry very hard to help each othre and find wasy to get ok when you can and there isnt’ anything we ahve to offer exepct msirey. and we are sick to d*ath of it. i think it has pretty much desrtoyed our life. so i think i won’t spread it aorund here again.
i hope it doesn’t bother you for me to say this because i am not gonna say it for the purpose of bothering you. i’m gonna say it for the purpose of thanking you. you help/ed me in a whole lotta ways in a whole lotta times. sorry. thais is so messed up and junky. my thinking isn’t very good anymeor. worese tonite. worse tomorrow too.
i wish it could get better. mine does sometimes then it gets bad again then i forget that it ever got better then it gets good again. today i got slipped back into the dream thing, uyoiu know when you cant’ get rid of the dreams. and it still bothers me like that right now espeicially cause i jsut said something about it. and the dreams are creeping pu on me. and the t said it’s a memory but i argued that it’s a dream and so he said just tell me about as if it were a dream and i think that made it worse but i can never tell for sure. i do remember that this has happened before though and then it went awasy for awhile before it came back. like a few times. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – betsy — trill I am a community of no less than a thousand. I am not an I. I am a country of persons. -Nuruddin Farah
Response:
betsy, I know how hopeless life can feel, and how there can be so much pain and misery in trying to go on living. I think it is always ok to give it one more try to reach out, and one more, and one more. Sometimes this process of thinking, "Even though I believe it is hopeless, it’s been this way for so long, I don’t think it can change, but I’ll try one last time," can help people hang on until things do get a little less painful or seem more worthwhile. I believe you are valuable and have worth. I always like what you have to say, and I think it is ok to say all this for as long as you want. I think people can relate. You are worthwhile to us. -Nancy
Response:
…anyway, all of us get so much from the things you write, but we never know how, or what to say, and even think oh, she doens;t want to hear from the likes of us. but every time we see your email address on a post, we read and it speaks to someone insied. someitmes, us, H&V, sometimes dove, sometimes our one who feels like what youre saying here (we just call tht one DS), and sometimes even our mean CS. we were reading here a long time and once dove was thinking, every time we read one of your posts we like you more and more. then we realized that you remind us of so many of us. then we realized that we can’t like you and hate ourselves, if we think we are like you or you remind us of us…..so you helped us to start liking ourselves better. so, maybe it is wrong to say all this silliness, but we wanted to show yhou that you have stuff to offer that you fdont; even realize. we are sorry we cant explain it better,. maybe dove can somedya but she can be pretty shy.
I feel exactly like this, and you said it so much better than I could. And I bet a lot of people here feel this way about betsy. -Nancy
Response:
Ummm…I came here cuz I think I’m did….but how do I know for sure? I mean…lots of bad stuff has happened but I can’t remember first 11 yrs of my life, and lots of symptoms would say yes I am did… I’m scared and I don’t know how to know or what to do next? AngelSong.
Response:
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Hi Foster and friends I’m at work and Ann took print of your writing here and I just read it and feel that I must write and write and wriiiiiiiiiite you !!! I’m feeling so sad because you all look so nice and I don’t want you to feel like this and to plan every min. to get through. Oh I don’t want that for you ! I’m just new on the list and would like to get to know you because you really seem nice and I know how you feel right now and therapist is right in his words but I know that it makes you not feeling different. No money is hard. No friend 3 weeks is hard. No therapist or group to go to now is hard. I think very deep now. Sometimes I help Ann with this : I show her nice pictures, I have one favorite : one beautiful lady picnicking with 2 lil girls and they are very happy. Then she stares at pic and colours for very long time and then she get feeling a bit better and Betha make cd playing then like "Enya" and she is better then slowly and I wrap arms around her and Emma too and emma begs her to wrap blanki around her and all together that helps and I rock Ann long long time till she is bit filled. I would like to blow killing feelings away in you and that maybe selfish from me, but if you kill yourself than you’re not there anymore for your friend and here on list and I can’t know you better. I think you can feel better slowly again with not killing yourself too. You want my favourite picture to look at ? I think Ann can make jpeg of it and
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