Question:
Anybody else here brooding about how to handle this holiday? My kids are really excited to see the fireworks. I really don’t want to see their little faces fall if I tell them that Mommy can’t go again. I seem to miss so much with them. On one hand it is a weekend and I could spend the next day in bed if I necessary. Then my husband will be mad that I did something suspecting it was going to knock me out. I’m also a little afraid of putting myself in the middle of all that noise and light. Any thoughts out there? Stephanie in OR
Maybe you could get your own supply of fireworks, to blow up on your own schedule? Sometimes noise is not nearly so bad if we are the ones making the noise! And this way, even if you did miss the planned celebration, you could direct your own. Memories of "mom" lighting the fuses might be much more special than "mom in lawnchair." 
- jqt –
Response:
Anybody else here brooding about how to handle this holiday? My kids are really excited to see the fireworks. I really don’t want to see their little faces fall if I tell them that Mommy can’t go again. I seem to miss so much with them. On one hand it is a weekend and I could spend the next day in bed if I necessary. Then my husband will be mad that I did something suspecting it was going to knock me out. I’m also a little afraid of putting myself in the middle of all that noise and light. Any thoughts out there? Stephanie in OR
Response:
Good suggestion. One celebration with mom in the backyard and one on the boat with dad and grandpa. I’ll see how that goes over. Thanks. Stephanie in OR – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Anybody else here brooding about how to handle this holiday? My kids are really excited to see the fireworks. I really don’t want to see their little faces fall if I tell them that Mommy can’t go again. I seem to miss so much with them. On one hand it is a weekend and I could spend the next day in bed if I necessary. Then my husband will be mad that I did something suspecting it was going to knock me out. I’m also a little afraid of putting myself in the middle of all that noise and light. Any thoughts out there? Stephanie in OR Maybe you could get your own supply of fireworks, to blow up on your own schedule? Sometimes noise is not nearly so bad if we are the ones making the noise! And this way, even if you did miss the planned celebration, you could direct your own. Memories of "mom" lighting the fuses might be much more special than "mom in lawnchair." – jqt –
Response:
Anybody else here brooding about how to handle this holiday? My kids are really excited to see the fireworks. I really don’t want to see their little faces fall if I tell them that Mommy can’t go again. I seem to miss so much with them. On one hand it is a weekend and I could spend the next day in bed if I necessary. Then my husband will be mad that I did something suspecting it was going to knock me out. I’m also a little afraid of putting myself in the middle of all that noise and light. Any thoughts out there? Stephanie in OR
Stephanie, When I was growing up my father never took us to fireworks and since my mother didn’t drive, I guess we only went to them if it was within walking distance or we went with a neighbor. By the time I was around 7 or so, I figured out that my father was visibly disturbed by fireworks. The noises on 4th of July and other such holdiays, obviously upset him. After I realised that I always stayed home with my father. My father had been through the entire 2nd world war from beginning to end in Europe. They didn’t call it post traumatic stres syndrome until after Viet Nam but that’s what he had. The sound of the fire works exploding was very upsetting to him. I never missed the fire works and preferred being with my Dad. In fact, I never realised until I started responding to your post why I have no interest in fireworks. Although, interestingly enough I also have a sort of ptss related to explosions. I didn’t get it from my father but from working in an oil refinery for 10 years and being around too many explosions and fires and loud noises. Can’t their father take them to the fireworks? And you stay home? diane remove the xyz in my address to send email.
Response:
That’s what I call love and devotion. A kid missing something like fireworks to spend to with her father. Sounds like your parents raised a very compassionate person. If I’m not able to go my husband and their grandpa will take them without me. My husband is a great father. Takes them to dentist and doctor appointments and he went on all but 1 field trip last year. I just have to stay home too often and my kids miss me being involved. They are very sweet about it but I can tell it hurts them. One day at a time I guess. Thanks for the reply, Stephanie in OR – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Anybody else here brooding about how to handle this holiday? My kids are really excited to see the fireworks. I really don’t want to see their little faces fall if I tell them that Mommy can’t go again. I seem to miss so much with them. On one hand it is a weekend and I could spend the next day in bed if I necessary. Then my husband will be mad that I did something suspecting it was going to knock me out. I’m also a little afraid of putting myself in the middle of all that noise and light. Any thoughts out there? Stephanie in OR Stephanie, When I was growing up my father never took us to fireworks and since my mother didn’t drive, I guess we only went to them if it was within walking distance or we went with a neighbor. By the time I was around 7 or so, I figured out that my father was visibly disturbed by fireworks. The noises on 4th of July and other such holdiays, obviously upset him. After I realised that I always stayed home with my father. My father had been through the entire 2nd world war from beginning to end in Europe. They didn’t call it post traumatic stres syndrome until after Viet Nam but that’s what he had. The sound of the fire works exploding was very upsetting to him. I never missed the fire works and preferred being with my Dad. In fact, I never realised until I started responding to your post why I have no interest in fireworks. Although, interestingly enough I also have a sort of ptss related to explosions. I didn’t get it from my father but from working in an oil refinery for 10 years and being around too many explosions and fires and loud noises. Can’t their father take them to the fireworks? And you stay home? diane remove the xyz in my address to send email.
Response:
you went to the fireworks with your family, and then you *don’t* end up feeling quite as bad as you thought you would the next day? I only ask that because of my adventures of the last couple of weeks. I did things I’ve been terrified to do for a long time, and just thought I’d deal with the consequences tomorrow. Dammit, I wanted to do something fun, and maybe a little brave!! I did have a couple of bad days. But some of the things I was sure would end up nearly killing me, didn’t affect me as much as I thought they would. No, as much as I was *sure* they would. I’m still afraid to do things, but I found out that if I just get a bug up my butt to go out and have some fun, maybe I have to do it. I need to hang onto the parts of my life I really used to like, and even create some new adventures, and just see what happens. I’ll get the headaches anyway, but now and then I can have some fun too. I think now and then I *need* the fun, to keep me from going insane. Cyndi
Response:
My mom’s birthday is the 4th too. When I was a kid I thought it was just too cool that she got to celebrate it with fireworks. She’s in Arizona now. Let me know how it works out for you. Good luck, Stephanie in OR – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -I’m glad you asked that question Stephanie. My mother-in-laws birthday is the 4th of July and my sister-in-law is a tennager who thinks she has to go see fireworks with me and her big brother and her mom. Marianne TX
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I’m glad you asked that question Stephanie. My mother-in-laws birthday is the 4th of July and my sister-in-law is a tennager who thinks she has to go see fireworks with me and her big brother and her mom. Marianne TX
Response:
Bright, flashing light of any kind is my only invariable trigger. Consider that the picture of a mom with a chronic health condition taking good care of herself is a GREAT example for children. A special day with dad, and the model of a husband as full parental partner, are also wonderful. These things are much finer than any misguided attempt to be a cookie-cutter "perfect" mom who ignores her own needs for the sake of the children. They will one day be adults, who may very well profit by your model of self-care. Have a great holiday! –Julianne
Response:
Gin here! What I have done in the past is take a pair of wrap around sunglasses, and earplugs. I also used to give myself a light sedative dose before going, but that was when someone else was driving, without drinking! Sorry I couldn’t have been more help! Blessed Be! Gin Anybody else here brooding about how to handle this holiday? My kids are really excited to see the fireworks. I really don’t want to see their little faces fall if I tell them that Mommy can’t go again. I seem to miss so much with them. On one hand it is a weekend and I could spend the next day in bed if I necessary. Then my husband will be mad that I did something suspecting it was going to knock me out. I’m also a little afraid of putting myself in the middle of all that noise and light. Any thoughts out there? Stephanie in OR
Response:
I tend to agree with you Cyndi…I’ve spent time traveling the the rainforest, the mountains, here on the Olympic Peninsula, I’ve traveled all over the world from the east coast to the south seas , part of the time with a migraine part on drugs for my migraine and part in pretty good shape. Everytime I give in and say I’m not gonna do something, I feel like the monster is laughing at me and is winning. It wins often enough that when I’m feeling good, I go for the gusto. It’s not gonna take a second Live people live… the best you can when you can. Caroline – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – if you went to the fireworks with your family, and then you *don’t* end up feeling quite as bad as you thought you would the next day? I only ask that because of my adventures of the last couple of weeks. I did things I’ve been terrified to do for a long time, and just thought I’d deal with the consequences tomorrow. Dammit, I wanted to do something fun, and maybe a little brave!! I did have a couple of bad days. But some of the things I was sure would end up nearly killing me, didn’t affect me as much as I thought they would. No, as much as I was *sure* they would. I’m still afraid to do things, but I found out that if I just get a bug up my butt to go out and have some fun, maybe I have to do it. I need to hang onto the parts of my life I really used to like, and even create some new adventures, and just see what happens. I’ll get the headaches anyway, but now and then I can have some fun too. I think now and then I *need* the fun, to keep me from going insane. Cyndi
Response:
I remember when I was in high school, and the town moved the fireworks from the center of town to over the lake (prettier there anyway). I was thrilled. I could still see the light show, but not hear the noise from my front yard. I have even gone out on a boat, far enough away for no noise, and still see the lights reflecting on the water. I have always been terrified of these noises, they always bring back a terrible sense of deja vu for me, for some weird reason. My dad used to tease that I was reincarnated from someone in WWII, and was living their post traumatic stress syndrome for them. Some thing weird anyway. Before they moved them out of town, I used to drive with my parents to a desert location to watch them in town, where the noise didn’t reach. Maybe Stephanie, you can take your kids to a special, out-of-the-way place, where the lights still show, but the noise is low, and you can turn away from the lights, while the kids still have fun. My cousin who has migraines, wears her sunglasses to watch them. God Bless! Jane in AZ * I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am *
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Anybody else here brooding about how to handle this holiday? My kids are really excited to see the fireworks. I really don’t want to see their little faces fall if I tell them that Mommy can’t go again. I seem to miss so much with them. On one hand it is a weekend and I could spend the next day in bed if I necessary. Then my husband will be mad that I did something suspecting it was going to knock me out. I’m also a little afraid of putting myself in the middle of all that noise and light. Any thoughts out there? Stephanie in OR Stephanie, When I was growing up my father never took us to fireworks and since my mother didn’t drive, I guess we only went to them if it was within walking distance or we went with a neighbor. By the time I was around 7 or so, I figured out that my father was visibly disturbed by fireworks. The noises on 4th of July and other such holdiays, obviously upset him. After I realised that I always stayed home with my father. My father had been through the entire 2nd world war from beginning to end in Europe. They didn’t call it post traumatic stres syndrome until after Viet Nam but that’s what he had. The sound of the fire works exploding was very upsetting to him. I never missed the fire works and preferred being with my Dad. In fact, I never realised until I started responding to your post why I have no interest in fireworks. Although, interestingly enough I also have a sort of ptss related to explosions. I didn’t get it from my father but from working in an oil refinery for 10 years and being around too many explosions and fires and loud noises. Can’t their father take them to the fireworks? And you stay home? diane remove the xyz in my address to send email.
Response:
Hello there mom732… I am down here on the sound right outside of New London in Waterford.. You know where they get the famous Niantic Bay Scallops… We take the boat up to Watch Hill Rhode Island and we watched the fireworks which last year were beautiful but no noise…. Then there is always that one boater who decides to throw a cherry bomb and then BANG goes the head. Have a good time… Ronnie Queen Of Hugs
Response:
I live high up so we can watch them from a distance, not too bright and no noise. Could you find such a place?(Plus – no crowds and only people we like are there – another advantage). If you lived in NW CT I’d invite you to our front yard!!! However, try sunglasses and/or a nice set of earplugs!! You never know, might start a fashion trend!! Good luck, I know it’s hard to be a ‘party pooper’ been there to; especially hard with an occasion with the kids.
Response:
Hey everybody, thanks. What a bunch of good suggestions. In this group it is truly "ask and ye shall receive"! Still not sure how it is going to turn out exactly but I sure have a lot of ideas to mull over. Much better than just telling my kids, sorry can’t go, have fun. Thanks a lot you guys. Stephanie in OR
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