Question:
About a month and a half ago my wife and I split up after a night doing a karaoke show (something we did together). It all started when right after our child together was born things started waning down. She has 2 girls now with her. I have the boy (4). about 3 years ago she wanted to go back to school. In the middle of that she wanted to go work for Schlumberger on offshore oil rigs for 4-6 weeks at a time. She then went to work for ADT security and started working out of town. Boy when that hit, the loving housewife/student started partying every night out of town, getting drunk all week with younger people. This hit when she was 30..I am 38. Panick struck me….I was beginning to lose my wife to a mid-life 30’s crises. She came back and went out a gan to St. Louis, where she went out on a date with a co-worker from another region. Stayed out dancing so the co-workers couldn’t find her on Monday work day until she arrived at 7:30 a.m. After St. Louis she told me she wish she hadn’t had our Son and was not married. we stayed together after that struggle and finally quit that type of work after a trip to Denver when I had enough of it. I have been raising the kids, the dogs, etc. etc. now really for 3 years. She started going out 2-3 nights a week so I started Karaoke in hopes this would give her an out (excuse to go to a club)…we did well with it. She got a new job and started running with a guy who was 23 and his buddy. Stopping off after work and drinking beer till she called one night slurring her words…I’ve only had a couple of beers…..yeah right. On Feb. 2, 2001 we were driving home after her co-worker had showed up at the karaoke bar and I said to her "what’s the deal with (your co-worker)" why can’t we be friends like that, you and I do not have that kind of friendship anymore like we used to" (Her) you think I’m doing him (screaming) I said no just asking a question ..She drove 100 miles in a 45 with kid in back at 2:30 a.m. nearly wrecked and slammed me with the food we bought on the way home. Went into the house…I held her and kept saying calm down breathe in breathe out. Finally she broke a glass cut my face threatened to cut my throat and racked me. The next day she called and said I will give you a chance for marriage counseling. Suddenly I’m the bad guy here. She went to 2 sessions and didn’t want to continue. I set up another one with a PHd Clinical Psych. we’ll see if she goes with me…….She says she’s happy being alone, but she calls me most everyday and is soooo lonely. (P.S.) her dad murdered her mom when she was 14 then killed himself 6 mos. later. She went to 2 sessions at 14 and ran out screaming acc. to her grandmother who ended up raising her. I have been congenial throughout his, helping her, offering help whatever. I do love her so. But she says she has no romantic feelings for me….But why does she call. It’s so wierd. I have been in Purgatory for 2 months and it’s March now. Anyway, she wants me to have the house, my truck (she bought her a car), We divided things and she DOES NOT want her 4 year old boy. And I asked in front of the counselor or you going to come back at me later and want him. She said NO. She doesn’t get him, see him, seem to care. this is a wild story huh!???? My thoughts are : post traumatic stress disorder induced by death of mom and dad and a 1st & 2nd abusive marriage. And she seems to display mood changes like MPD multiples.
Response:
Many of us buy into the fairy-tale about a getting married, buying a house, having kids, and living happily ever after. Then we’re shocked and dismayed to find that instead or a prince or princess, we’ve married a fruit-cake. Your wife may have PTSD, but your cannot save her, or IMHO, your marriage. You wife is not mommy-material and her behavior is harmful to your kids. My 2 cents: Kick the loon out, get on with your life and don’t look back. ===Rog’=== "I get by with a little help from my friends." — John Lennon —
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – About a month and a half ago my wife and I split up after a night doing a karaoke show (something we did together). It all started when right after our child together was born things started waning down. She has 2 girls now with her. I have the boy (4). about 3 years ago she wanted to go back to school. In the middle of that she wanted to go work for Schlumberger on offshore oil rigs for 4-6 weeks at a time. She then went to work for ADT security and started working out of town. Boy when that hit, the loving housewife/student started partying every night out of town, getting drunk all week with younger people. This hit when she was 30..I am 38. Panick struck me….I was beginning to lose my wife to a mid-life 30’s crises. She came back and went out a gan to St. Louis, where she went out on a date with a co-worker from another region. Stayed out dancing so the co-workers couldn’t find her on Monday work day until she arrived at 7:30 a.m. After St. Louis she told me she wish she hadn’t had our Son and was not married. we stayed together after that struggle and finally quit that type of work after a trip to Denver when I had enough of it. I have been raising the kids, the dogs, etc. etc. now really for 3 years. She started going out 2-3 nights a week so I started Karaoke in hopes this would give her an out (excuse to go to a club)…we did well with it. She got a new job and started running with a guy who was 23 and his buddy. Stopping off after work and drinking beer till she called one night slurring her words…I’ve only had a couple of beers…..yeah right. On Feb. 2, 2001 we were driving home after her co-worker had showed up at the karaoke bar and I said to her "what’s the deal with (your co-worker)" why can’t we be friends like that, you and I do not have that kind of friendship anymore like we used to" (Her) you think I’m doing him (screaming) I said no just asking a question ..She drove 100 miles in a 45 with kid in back at 2:30 a.m. nearly wrecked and slammed me with the food we bought on the way home. Went into the house…I held her and kept saying calm down breathe in breathe out. Finally she broke a glass cut my face threatened to cut my throat and racked me. The next day she called and said I will give you a chance for marriage counseling. Suddenly I’m the bad guy here. She went to 2 sessions and didn’t want to continue. I set up another one with a PHd Clinical Psych. we’ll see if she goes with me…….She says she’s happy being alone, but she calls me most everyday and is soooo lonely. (P.S.) her dad murdered her mom when she was 14 then killed himself 6 mos. later. She went to 2 sessions at 14 and ran out screaming acc. to her grandmother who ended up raising her. I have been congenial throughout his, helping her, offering help whatever. I do love her so. But she says she has no romantic feelings for me….But why does she call. It’s so wierd. I have been in Purgatory for 2 months and it’s March now. Anyway, she wants me to have the house, my truck (she bought her a car), We divided things and she DOES NOT want her 4 year old boy. And I asked in front of the counselor or you going to come back at me later and want him. She said NO. She doesn’t get him, see him, seem to care. this is a wild story huh!???? My thoughts are : post traumatic stress disorder induced by death of mom and dad and a 1st & 2nd abusive marriage. And she seems to display mood changes like MPD multiples.
Response:
It is common, if not normal, to want to believe that "something" is causing your wife to act the way she does, but even though she is obvoiusly in need of some serious therapy, that is secondary. She is hurting you and the children and this needs to stop immediately. Do whatever you have to do. Have her arrested. Have her children taken into protective custody (I am assuming that the boy is yours together and the girls are hers from a previous relationship but it makes no difference. Kids need to be protected, no matter whose they are.). You may or may not decide to stick around and try to help her through whatever it is, but you need to remove the threat of physical danger first!
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – About a month and a half ago my wife and I split up after a night doing a karaoke show (something we did together). It all started when right after our child together was born things started waning down. She has 2 girls now with her. I have the boy (4). about 3 years ago she wanted to go back to school. In the middle of that she wanted to go work for Schlumberger on offshore oil rigs for 4-6 weeks at a time. She then went to work for ADT security and started working out of town. Boy when that hit, the loving housewife/student started partying every night out of town, getting drunk all week with younger people. This hit when she was 30..I am 38. Panick struck me….I was beginning to lose my wife to a mid-life 30’s crises. She came back and went out a gan to St. Louis, where she went out on a date with a co-worker from another region. Stayed out dancing so the co-workers couldn’t find her on Monday work day until she arrived at 7:30 a.m. After St. Louis she told me she wish she hadn’t had our Son and was not married. we stayed together after that struggle and finally quit that type of work after a trip to Denver when I had enough of it. I have been raising the kids, the dogs, etc. etc. now really for 3 years. She started going out 2-3 nights a week so I started Karaoke in hopes this would give her an out (excuse to go to a club)…we did well with it. She got a new job and started running with a guy who was 23 and his buddy. Stopping off after work and drinking beer till she called one night slurring her words…I’ve only had a couple of beers…..yeah right. On Feb. 2, 2001 we were driving home after her co-worker had showed up at the karaoke bar and I said to her "what’s the deal with (your co-worker)" why can’t we be friends like that, you and I do not have that kind of friendship anymore like we used to" (Her) you think I’m doing him (screaming) I said no just asking a question ..She drove 100 miles in a 45 with kid in back at 2:30 a.m. nearly wrecked and slammed me with the food we bought on the way home. Went into the house…I held her and kept saying calm down breathe in breathe out. Finally she broke a glass cut my face threatened to cut my throat and racked me. The next day she called and said I will give you a chance for marriage counseling. Suddenly I’m the bad guy here. She went to 2 sessions and didn’t want to continue. I set up another one with a PHd Clinical Psych. we’ll see if she goes with me…….She says she’s happy being alone, but she calls me most everyday and is soooo lonely. (P.S.) her dad murdered her mom when she was 14 then killed himself 6 mos. later. She went to 2 sessions at 14 and ran out screaming acc. to her grandmother who ended up raising her. I have been congenial throughout his, helping her, offering help whatever. I do love her so. But she says she has no romantic feelings for me….But why does she call. It’s so wierd. I have been in Purgatory for 2 months and it’s March now. Anyway, she wants me to have the house, my truck (she bought her a car), We divided things and she DOES NOT want her 4 year old boy. And I asked in front of the counselor or you going to come back at me later and want him. She said NO. She doesn’t get him, see him, seem to care. this is a wild story huh!???? My thoughts are : post traumatic stress disorder induced by death of mom and dad and a 1st & 2nd abusive marriage. And she seems to display mood changes like MPD multiples.
Response:
I think you would be wise to get the two girls as well. If she’s driving reclessly with them and drinking, they are not safe. Perhaps you could suggest she keep them with you while she gets her head together. I feel she’s a danger to them. Nancy
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – About a month and a half ago my wife and I split up after a night doing a karaoke show (something we did together). It all started when right after our child together was born things started waning down. She has 2 girls now with her. I have the boy (4). about 3 years ago she wanted to go back to school. In the middle of that she wanted to go work for Schlumberger on offshore oil rigs for 4-6 weeks at a time. She then went to work for ADT security and started working out of town. Boy when that hit, the loving housewife/student started partying every night out of town, getting drunk all week with younger people. This hit when she was 30..I am 38. Panick struck me….I was beginning to lose my wife to a mid-life 30’s crises. She came back and went out a gan to St. Louis, where she went out on a date with a co-worker from another region. Stayed out dancing so the co-workers couldn’t find her on Monday work day until she arrived at 7:30 a.m. After St. Louis she told me she wish she hadn’t had our Son and was not married. we stayed together after that struggle and finally quit that type of work after a trip to Denver when I had enough of it. I have been raising the kids, the dogs, etc. etc. now really for 3 years. She started going out 2-3 nights a week so I started Karaoke in hopes this would give her an out (excuse to go to a club)…we did well with it. She got a new job and started running with a guy who was 23 and his buddy. Stopping off after work and drinking beer till she called one night slurring her words…I’ve only had a couple of beers…..yeah right. On Feb. 2, 2001 we were driving home after her co-worker had showed up at the karaoke bar and I said to her "what’s the deal with (your co-worker)" why can’t we be friends like that, you and I do not have that kind of friendship anymore like we used to" (Her) you think I’m doing him (screaming) I said no just asking a question ..She drove 100 miles in a 45 with kid in back at 2:30 a.m. nearly wrecked and slammed me with the food we bought on the way home. Went into the house…I held her and kept saying calm down breathe in breathe out. Finally she broke a glass cut my face threatened to cut my throat and racked me. The next day she called and said I will give you a chance for marriage counseling. Suddenly I’m the bad guy here. She went to 2 sessions and didn’t want to continue. I set up another one with a PHd Clinical Psych. we’ll see if she goes with me…….She says she’s happy being alone, but she calls me most everyday and is soooo lonely. (P.S.) her dad murdered her mom when she was 14 then killed himself 6 mos. later. She went to 2 sessions at 14 and ran out screaming acc. to her grandmother who ended up raising her. I have been congenial throughout his, helping her, offering help whatever. I do love her so. But she says she has no romantic feelings for me….But why does she call. It’s so wierd. I have been in Purgatory for 2 months and it’s March now. Anyway, she wants me to have the house, my truck (she bought her a car), We divided things and she DOES NOT want her 4 year old boy. And I asked in front of the counselor or you going to come back at me later and want him. She said NO. She doesn’t get him, see him, seem to care. this is a wild story huh!???? My thoughts are : post traumatic stress disorder induced by death of mom and dad and a 1st & 2nd abusive marriage. And she seems to display mood changes like MPD multiples.
Response:
I must say you are very smart to get out of this one.. She sounds like a VERY emotionally distraught woman who is Dangerous and in DIRE need of emotional help!! Probably from her screwed up, violent past. Going through what she went through as a child had to take it’s toll on her mental health! I am sorry you have had to put up with this for the past three years. Sounds like you’ve been more than a saint all these years, and that you have tried to be patient and have waited for her to "come home" and calm down. Sounds like she is extremely unhappy within herself, and is looking for happiness in all of the wrong places/ways.. I would certainly urge her to get counseling, and it is probably a God-send that you have your little son. Maybe later if she gets herself help she can start constructive visits with your son, but for now, it’s probably best that he not be in her presence. Best of Luck to YOU! Kathie
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – About a month and a half ago my wife and I split up after a night doing a karaoke show (something we did together). It all started when right after our child together was born things started waning down. She has 2 girls now with her. I have the boy (4). about 3 years ago she wanted to go back to school. In the middle of that she wanted to go work for Schlumberger on offshore oil rigs for 4-6 weeks at a time. She then went to work for ADT security and started working out of town. Boy when that hit, the loving housewife/student started partying every night out of town, getting drunk all week with younger people. This hit when she was 30..I am 38. Panick struck me….I was beginning to lose my wife to a mid-life 30’s crises. She came back and went out a gan to St. Louis, where she went out on a date with a co-worker from another region. Stayed out dancing so the co-workers couldn’t find her on Monday work day until she arrived at 7:30 a.m. After St. Louis she told me she wish she hadn’t had our Son and was not married. we stayed together after that struggle and finally quit that type of work after a trip to Denver when I had enough of it. I have been raising the kids, the dogs, etc. etc. now really for 3 years. She started going out 2-3 nights a week so I started Karaoke in hopes this would give her an out (excuse to go to a club)…we did well with it. She got a new job and started running with a guy who was 23 and his buddy. Stopping off after work and drinking beer till she called one night slurring her words…I’ve only had a couple of beers…..yeah right. On Feb. 2, 2001 we were driving home after her co-worker had showed up at the karaoke bar and I said to her "what’s the deal with (your co-worker)" why can’t we be friends like that, you and I do not have that kind of friendship anymore like we used to" (Her) you think I’m doing him (screaming) I said no just asking a question ..She drove 100 miles in a 45 with kid in back at 2:30 a.m. nearly wrecked and slammed me with the food we bought on the way home. Went into the house…I held her and kept saying calm down breathe in breathe out. Finally she broke a glass cut my face threatened to cut my throat and racked me. The next day she called and said I will give you a chance for marriage counseling. Suddenly I’m the bad guy here. She went to 2 sessions and didn’t want to continue. I set up another one with a PHd Clinical Psych. we’ll see if she goes with me…….She says she’s happy being alone, but she calls me most everyday and is soooo lonely. (P.S.) her dad murdered her mom when she was 14 then killed himself 6 mos. later. She went to 2 sessions at 14 and ran out screaming acc. to her grandmother who ended up raising her. I have been congenial throughout his, helping her, offering help whatever. I do love her so. But she says she has no romantic feelings for me….But why does she call. It’s so wierd. I have been in Purgatory for 2 months and it’s March now. Anyway, she wants me to have the house, my truck (she bought her a car), We divided things and she DOES NOT want her 4 year old boy. And I asked in front of the counselor or you going to come back at me later and want him. She said NO. She doesn’t get him, see him, seem to care. this is a wild story huh!???? My thoughts are : post traumatic stress disorder induced by death of mom and dad and a 1st & 2nd abusive marriage. And she seems to display mood changes like MPD multiples.
Response:
similar situation here. she is gone now, been separated for about ten months in this house. one day i came home from work and found a letter saying she is going to live on her own… this all started about 12 years ago when she met a woman that doesn’t have any use for men. down hill from there. now that she is gone, left her 15 year old son behind also, i feel more relaxed and can’t wait to get on with my life. she was a pretty-good wife, i was a pretty-good husband/provider both of which she no longer needs. she has said many times she is going to start doing all the things she likes and is going to take care of herself, first. sounds kind of selfish but she was always out for number one. even before we got married she always went for the good stuff and the people that could give it to her. man did i make a mistake in marrying her. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – About a month and a half ago my wife and I split up after a night doing a
Response:
Finally she broke a glass cut my face threatened to cut my throat and racked me. The next day she called and said I will give you a chance for marriage counseling.
You still have a cut? Go to the police station and file an assault and battery thing against her. You may need to prove she’s a violent person if you want custody of your kid.
Response:
this is a wild story huh!???? My thoughts are : post traumatic stress disorder induced by death of mom and dad and a 1st & 2nd abusive marriage. And she seems to display mood changes like MPD multiples.
My thoughts are: N-U-T-C-A-S-E. Run away from her as fast as you can and keep the children from her as well. She should be taken into a mental hospital.
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