Trauma – PTSD

Question:

I did check out the web site you mention, and didn’t really find anything of tremendous value to me.  That doesn’t mean it has no value.  In fact, at one time in my youth I was "bully-bait" and I can understand how that affects people.  It has something to do with setting up my personality, and it has something to do with my battles with local politics.  But it’s not what my thoughts keep going back to whenever I let my guard down. It’s interesting, and something to tuck away for a footnote, or to clue someone who seems to be really suffering from bullying. However, it’s not the unified field theory of PTSD.  We all got here from different paths.  I’m also learning from people who have been raped or assaulted, or survived accidents, even though none of those things happened to me, or at least not like it happened to them. Why the sudden hostility?  You seem to setting yourself up for criticism.  I wish you would post your thoughts in longer but fewer posts, but perhaps that’s difficult for you.  Fine.  I’d rather have you here as you are able rather than not at all, but don’t expect me to answer every single post. Sometimes I don’t understand your question, and sometimes I just don’t have anything to say.  Don’t hold that against me. What did happen to you anyway? Brent

Response:

 Excuse me, I thought this was a PTSD group with freedom of speech.  My PTSD is woven throughout that war.  Some talk about abuse, some murders, others accidents… I talk about war.  If I feel guilt or not, or any other reaction to the killings does not matter.  What matters is where others are today and that includes me.  Is this an interchange of feelings?  A place to unload within the security of a computer?  Instead of the one liners, why don’t you tell us your story, dodgen..  We will listen and give you the respect we want for ourselves.  You will receive consideration and a few will offer some insight that just maybe you can use. As for me, just what does "forgive and move-on" mean in real life.  You suggest PTSD is bullshit.  Is that what you think? Bill

Response:

I don’t mean this to insult or criticize, but carefully examining your posts I wonder… are you a early teen? It’s OK if you are but you’re flying all over the place and I wonder if we can help you get centered a bit.  We’d like to communicate in more depth, tell us what’s inside you.  Frankly, I don’t believe any of us knows what you are talking about when everything is ‘chicken little’ or ‘chicken shit’.  It is also clear you either doubt or don’t understand Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  That is not a crime.  Just talk with us about what’s going on in your life.  I’d like to know as I sure others would.  I’d also like to see the one & two line whiney comments stop. Slamming everything get weary for us.  I know several people who have stopped reading any of your posts.  Come on in with us, dodgen… it ain’t half bad in here.

Response:

Good to hear from you.  I understand the "flashes" as I worked through that crap years ago… sort of.  Your post brought back memories of the obsessive nature of it.  I’d get cranked and have a cascading in my mind.  Often I’d hyperventilate because I was ‘cookin’.  Like you, my sentences would fragment.  I was so ‘flashed out’, I wrecked 9 cars in just over a year. For a time, like you, when I tried to construct a series of logical events, I couldn’t remember one thought to the next so I had a tendency to speak a broken dialect.  All this came from the horrors of killing, now called PTSD.  Anyway, this post suggests perhaps there are group members who know tons more than I who can point you to some safe places.  You first need to try to trust them… they mean you no harm.  This post, although sent to me should be presented to the group.  If you are for real you’ll appreciate it.  To the flashes again, a lot of us have them.  The more I think about it I realize I still do it some but it has taken on an aggressive flavor.  I am in verbal combat with several people constantly.  I send as many as 200 fax copies of the most vile letters possible until they probably run out of paper.  The only minor relief I get from acute obsessions (and I think this is part of PTSD) is very strenuous Safta and Martial Arts.  I exaust myself.  Anyway, here’s the group. Bill – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -dod…@ix.netcom.com wrote: > Hello Bill, > Point understood, your comment taken in good spirit. I had a real drift > and it appears thats what I do in a drift. I don’t know If my drift is > ptsd nature. I have no professional opinion if I do have ptsd or not. Or > just ddo (mild dissassociative disorder). I believe posting seems to be > my trigger to how I deal with what exactly is going on with me. I am > projecting the flashes as they occure and at times I am not sure what I > am saying what does it mean. > If I had sorted it out I would not project it. > I am doing my best, you might not agree with it. I am also doing my best > as you are too. > I am hear to deal with my issues and I sumed the week  as chicken shit > issues. > I didnt mean to offend anyone on the site. > Sorry if I did that . > I have had three major triggers in the last week. And my posting are the > reflection of the issues I have been dealing with. May be I do  have MPD > and that is what you are saying. > I don’t know much about MPD,  ddo and ptsd as I am on a learning curve. > May be you and the group can  share your opinion based on my postings > based on your experiences and educate me. > Dodgen in drift. Bill Trucks wrote:  Excuse me, I thought this was a PTSD group with freedom

of speech.  My PTSD is woven throughout that war.  Some talk about abuse, some murders, – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –

Response:

In article <35830FC1.82C1F…@globaldialog.com>, Bill Trucks <btru…@globaldialog.com> writes: >use. >As for me, just what does "forgive and move-on" mean in real life.  You >suggest PTSD is bullshit.  Is that what you think? >Bill >-

Dear Bill, I lurk here and even post on occaision…this person (dodgen) is either a child or just a *troll*….if dodgen wants to be a contributing voice here, then let him/her post in a rational manner…I’m sure that *I’d* be better attuned to listen, rather than having to try to rationalize the drivel that’s taking up bandwidth (and time) here..at this point in time, I just see the "From: dodgen" and use my delete key!….If dodgen wants my attention, then she/he can post in a rational manner (preferably with an apology to the group)…these one-line put-downs and juvenial drivel are just not worth *my* time… Reply to: anon-20…@anon.twwells.com x-no archive: yes in headers Think good thoughts and be good to yourself, you deserve it! Any abusive mail will be posted to newsgroups at my discretion. No e-mail accepted unless specifically requested.

Response:

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