Question:
this is going to be very hard for me to write, so bare with me. I am very very very sorry to all, That i have offended or have not offended. I am sure you all understand that with the panic comes a little or should i say alot of irrational thinking.
Taryn, if you think you are irrational… stop by one of the stop-smoking ng’s some time 
Seriously, even though I’m a newbie, I can feel that you are both welcomed and wanted here. Be kind to yourself, Matoaka
Response:
this is going to be very hard for me to write, so bare with me. I am very very very sorry to all, That i have offended or have not offended. I am sure you all understand that with the panic comes a little or should i say alot of irrational thinking. Taryn, if you think you are irrational… stop by one of the stop-smoking ng’s some time thank you, that made me laugh. Laugh, actually laugh. WOW!! maybe I am
finally getting better. Bless you. Taryn – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Seriously, even though I’m a newbie, I can feel that you are both welcomed and wanted here. Be kind to yourself, Matoaka
Response:
SO i thought i would start by giving people some more info about me. oh before i start i am a horrible speller. I am a child abuse surviver ( emotional, physical and sexual), which may be the root of my problems.
Hi Donald, I just wanted to make sure that you knew of a NG’s just for people like you and I. I am also a survivor of child abuse, and there’s lots of us in the NG. There’s all sorts of trauma victims. Nam vets, rape victims, other war vets, policemen, firemen, emt tech’s, and all the one I missed…sorry… anyway please feel free to join us at: alt.support.trauma-ptsd Have a nice day Peace -G. — Peace is the answer… …wanna’ fight about it? -G.
Response:
this is going to be very hard for me to write, so bare with me. I am very very very sorry to all, That i have offended or have not offended. I am sure you all understand that with the panic comes a little or should i say alot of irrational thinking. <snip
Taryn, I’m a survivor of abuse also; emotional, physical and sexual. So, I understand. Please, hang in here with us at ASAP. We know what it’s like when people sometimes say things they don’t really mean or when they speak <write without really thinking how it’s going to sound in the NG. I’m sure all of us have been guilty of it at one time or another. The main thing is that you came back and explained and apologized. I have never seen anyone "shunned" in this NG if they make a mistake and then apologize for it. It’s the people who continue to willfully hurt and harm the other folks in the NG that we don’t have tolerance for. Those are the ones we call "trolls". {{{{{{Taryn}}}}} There are people here to help and support you. Hugs, Jen
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – this is going to be very hard for me to write, so bare with me. I am very very very sorry to all, That i have offended or have not offended. I am sure you all understand that with the panic comes a little or should i say alot of irrational thinking. Philip I am sorry, I see that you are a very sweet, compassionate and understanding person. and a pillar of support to the people here. I am sorry if i offended you. I am a stubborn person and lashed out at you for no good reason. normally at least before the panic problems I has a calm and rational person. I never cried and now I seem to cry 70% of my waking hours, which is alot because I don’t slepp and don’t eat. I would like to rejoin the group with everyones permission. and will try by best to remain calmer and less abrasive. SO i thought i would start by giving people some more info about me. oh before i start i am a horrible speller. I am a child abuse surviver ( emotional, physical and sexual), which may be the root of my problems. I has hopitalized six years ago for what they called a nervous breakdown, the therapy I recieved has useless, not to say that therapy is useless. It was just the particular sigmund freud wanna be Dr. I got. he believed the abuse has my fault and my sucuide attempts were due to my own guilt about the abuse. I left the hopital and went three years before having panic attacks again, at this time I was put on xanax and remained on it for six months. The next three years were spent with no meds, no panic. Rebuilding my life and my slef concept. I finally came to a place in my life that i learned to love myself. I put the past in the past. the nightmares stopped and I found a sense of normalcy. now three years latter I am having the panic again and feel as though all the hard work i put in is lost. I am scared, and hurt and lost. I can’t think straight half the time and cry the other half. My medicine is not working and I am scared that nothing will work. SO i am edging and irrational. I hope that that explains some of my horrible behavior. and that you all will forgive me especailly you philip. I know now that you meant no harm, and that i took it the wrong way. I am fairly sensitive these days. to all those that have been emailing me, If I am allowed back in to the group, please post here. Thank you for reading this. Taryn
Addition to message: people can post to me here on the ng but still feel free to email me if you want to discuss something one on one or more personal. Taryn
Response:
Donald Cunningham schreef: this is going to be very hard for me to write, so bare with me. I am very very very sorry to all, That i have offended or have not offended. I am sure you all understand that with the panic comes a little or should i say alot of irrational thinking. Philip I am sorry, I see that you are a very sweet, compassionate and understanding person. and a pillar of support to the people here. I am sorry if i offended you.
I wasn’t offended, Taryn. There is no reason to feel guilty, it’s no big deal. People can and hopefully are allowed to misunderstand each other now and then. I’m happy that you’re back. I am a stubborn person and lashed out at you for no good reason. normally at least before the panic problems I has a calm and rational person.
Don’t worry about it. Being calm and rational is only one side of the coin. I’m glad when somebody can be emotional as well. We need to be. I never cried and now I seem to cry 70% of my waking hours, which is alot because I don’t slepp and don’t eat. I would like to rejoin the group with everyones permission. and will try by best to remain calmer and less abrasive.
Nobody has to ask permission to be here and nobody can give anybody else permission to be here either. The only unwelcome people are *trolls* who sometimes drop by for disruptive purposes. You’re very welcome and always have been. And you don’t have to be *calm* all the time either…you’re quite OK as you are IMO. SO i thought i would start by giving people some more info about me. oh before i start i am a horrible speller. I am a child abuse surviver ( emotional, physical and sexual), which may be the root of my problems. I has hopitalized six years ago for what they called a nervous breakdown, the therapy I recieved has useless, not to say that therapy is useless. It was just the particular sigmund freud wanna be Dr. I got. he believed the abuse has my fault and my sucuide attempts were due to my own guilt about the abuse.
Oh dear….the harm these doctors can cause. Abuse *never* is the fault of the one who is abused. That’s maybe the first characteristic for it to be abuse anyway. I’m very sorry that you were so badly understood. I left the hopital and went three years before having panic attacks again, at this time I was put on xanax and remained on it for six months. The next three years were spent with no meds, no panic. Rebuilding my life and my slef concept. I finally came to a place in my life that i learned to love myself. I put the past in the past. the nightmares stopped and I found a sense of normalcy.
I find that a great achievement. now three years latter I am having the panic again and feel as though all the hard work i put in is lost.
Anxiety disorders have a way of being cyclic. Sometimes one goes in remission for years and then has to be on meds again for some time. Your hard work is not lost. You gained three panic-free years by working so hard! And now you know how to do it and so this second time may well be easier. I am scared, and hurt and lost. I can’t think straight half the time and cry the other half. My medicine is not working and I am scared that nothing will work
What med(s) do you take? If Xanax worked for you before, it should do the trick again.About a year ago I was a basket case and was sure that there would be no relief for me anymore. My pdoc said: "There is always *something* that will work." I didn’t believe him but he was right. Xanax and imipramine work well for me. . SO i am edging and irrational. I hope that that explains some of my horrible behavior. and that you all will forgive me especailly you philip.
I have nothing to forgive, I’m sorry that my words had the wrong impact. I know now that you meant no harm, and that i took it the wrong way. I am fairly sensitive these days. to all those that have been emailing me, If I am allowed back in to the group, please post here. Thank you for reading this. Taryn
I wonder if you have ever tried therapy again, Taryn. I feel that with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) meds only are not good enough. I feel you should also do therapy, maybe CBT, maybe just non-directive counseling. Best wishes, Philip
Response:
Dear Taryn, I am sure you all understand that with the panic comes a little or should i say alot of irrational thinking.
Yes, we understand… My husband doesn`t have a anxiety/panic and is prone to irrationality, were human…<G Philip I am sorry, I see that you are a very sweet, compassionate and understanding person. and a pillar of support to the people here
Yes he is… And you have been very helpful and compassionate here too… never cried and now I seem to cry 70% of my waking hours, which is alot because I don’t slepp and don’t eat.
This sounds so sad… I really feel for you. I would like to rejoin the group with everyones permission. and will try by best to remain calmer and less abrasive.
You never left, and you don`t need permission from one person here!! I am a child abuse surviver ( emotional, physical and sexual),
I am too…..not sexual though has hopitalized six years ago for what they called a nervous breakdown, the therapy I recieved has useless, not to say that therapy is useless. It was just the particular sigmund freud wanna be Dr. I got. he believed the abuse has my fault and my sucuide attempts were due to my own guilt about the abuse
This is disgusting that a doctor tell you the abuse was your fault, this is so sick…. No child ever deserves to be abused… As a child there is nothing you can do about the abuse. I deserve absolutely no blame for my abusive childhood, the blame goes to mom and dad, they should have known better. I hope you realize that it isn`t your fault. The fault lays with the abuser…… . I left the hopital and went three years before having panic attacks again, at this time I was put on xanax and remained on it for six months. The next three years were spent with no meds, no panic. Rebuilding my life and my slef concept. I finally came to a place in my life that i learned to love myself. I put the past in the past. the nightmares stopped and I found a sense of normalcy. now three years latter I am having the panic again and feel as though all the hard work put
in is lost Unfortunately, anxiety/panic can come and go… I had 7 great years, then I suffered one of my worst setbacks…but thank god for paxil life is good again… I know exactly how you feel, its so fustrating, but realize you will get over this setback too, it takes time.. My medicine is not working and I am scared that nothing will work. SO i am edging and irrational. I hope that that explains some of my horrible behavior. and that you all will forgive me especailly you philip. I know now that you meant no harm, and that i took it the wrong way. I am fairly sensitive these days. to all those that have been emailing me, If I am allowed back in to the group, please post here. Thank you for reading this. Taryn
Time to go back to the doctor and ask for a med change!! What are you taking?? I read the posts at deja news and see what happened, and your behaviour was NOT *horrible*. Nothing to forgive, you are being way to hard on yourself, really…. I think most of us have gotten into disagreements and have lost out tempers.. And yes, we are all sensitive….. So start posting away..{{{TARYN}}} Jackie )) "The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish,cutting the heart asunder."
Response:
this is going to be very hard for me to write, so bare with me. I am very very very sorry to all, That i have offended or have not offended. I am sure you all understand that with the panic comes a little or should i say alot of irrational thinking. Philip I am sorry, I see that you are a very sweet, compassionate and understanding person. and a pillar of support to the people here. I am sorry if i offended you. I am a stubborn person and lashed out at you for no good reason. normally at least before the panic problems I has a calm and rational person. I never cried and now I seem to cry 70% of my waking hours, which is alot because I don’t slepp and don’t eat. I would like to rejoin the group with everyones permission. and will try by best to remain calmer and less abrasive. SO i thought i would start by giving people some more info about me. oh before i start i am a horrible speller. I am a child abuse surviver ( emotional, physical and sexual), which may be the root of my problems. I has hopitalized six years ago for what they called a nervous breakdown, the therapy I recieved has useless, not to say that therapy is useless. It was just the particular sigmund freud wanna be Dr. I got. he believed the abuse has my fault and my sucuide attempts were due to my own guilt about the abuse. I left the hopital and went three years before having panic attacks again, at this time I was put on xanax and remained on it for six months. The next three years were spent with no meds, no panic. Rebuilding my life and my slef concept. I finally came to a place in my life that i learned to love myself. I put the past in the past. the nightmares stopped and I found a sense of normalcy. now three years latter I am having the panic again and feel as though all the hard work i put in is lost. I am scared, and hurt and lost. I can’t think straight half the time and cry the other half. My medicine is not working and I am scared that nothing will work. SO i am edging and irrational. I hope that that explains some of my horrible behavior. and that you all will forgive me especailly you philip. I know now that you meant no harm, and that i took it the wrong way. I am fairly sensitive these days. to all those that have been emailing me, If I am allowed back in to the group, please post here. Thank you for reading this. Taryn
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – this is going to be very hard for me to write, so bare with me. I am very very very sorry to all, That i have offended or have not offended. I am sure you all understand that with the panic comes a little or should i say alot of irrational thinking. Philip I am sorry, I see that you are a very sweet, compassionate and understanding person. and a pillar of support to the people here. I am sorry if i offended you. I am a stubborn person and lashed out at you for no good reason. normally at least before the panic problems I has a calm and rational person. I never cried and now I seem to cry 70% of my waking hours, which is alot because I don’t slepp and don’t eat. I would like to rejoin the group with everyones permission. and will try by best to remain calmer and less abrasive. SO i thought i would start by giving people some more info about me. oh before i start i am a horrible speller. I am a child abuse surviver ( emotional, physical and sexual), which may be the root of my problems. I has hopitalized six years ago for what they called a nervous breakdown, the therapy I recieved has useless, not to say that therapy is useless. It was just the particular sigmund freud wanna be Dr. I got. he believed the abuse has my fault and my sucuide attempts were due to my own guilt about the abuse. I left the hopital and went three years before having panic attacks again, at this time I was put on xanax and remained on it for six months. The next three years were spent with no meds, no panic. Rebuilding my life and my slef concept. I finally came to a place in my life that i learned to love myself. I put the past in the past. the nightmares stopped and I found a sense of normalcy. now three years latter I am having the panic again and feel as though all the hard work i put in is lost. I am scared, and hurt and lost. I can’t think straight half the time and cry the other half. My medicine is not working and I am scared that nothing will work. SO i am edging and irrational. I hope that that explains some of my horrible behavior. and that you all will forgive me especailly you philip. I know now that you meant no harm, and that i took it the wrong way. I am fairly sensitive these days. to all those that have been emailing me, If I am allowed back in to the group, please post here. Thank you for reading this. Taryn
Dear Taryn: I am new here too, and I am also an abuse survivor. I can understand mis-placed reactions, and you seem to have no reason to be "banished" just because you had a bad day. Please stay here and be supported and offer your welcome support. I think, by seeing Phillip’s comments, he understands. Please take care of yourself, and let us "newbies" help each other around . Best wishes… David
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