Question:
Hi, I became bulimic as a way of dealing with stress (I can not exactly say what stress it was, though the condition only became ’seriou’ about a year and a half ago.) I expected to deal with my problems and for the thing to go away. It didn’t. I have a few tentative hypotheses for why it didn’t, but let me spoiler: talking about the ‘high’ effects of bulimia. Addictive: you can feel high after binging and purging, feeling like you’ve conquered yourself. Unfortunatly, as I’ve begun to relize, all you’ve done is *abdicate* control. PTSD: this is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I am familiar with this from watching my father, a Veitnam veteran, relive his war experiences and practice the behaviors they caused. I think, if bulimia was a stress reaction, you will continue to use it to relieve stress of any kind. Also, perhaps the stress that caused your bulimia has not beenresloved entirely. good luck in your fight. Every small victory is worth it. always, blot — I’m not tense — just terribly, terribly alert. Spamstop address: ‘zianet’ tastes better then ’spam’
Response:
Welcome to the group! I think most of us can relate to wanting to recover but still clinging to it. I think we all have our own reason for it, but it’s usually a coping skill one way or another. It can also be an addiction or, even in 18 months, a habit. Or a combination of these things. Are you in therapy at all? That might help you figure out why you need this. I also found a journal helped me sort out my feelings. Even if your problems are much less now, you may still be emotionally affected by it somehow. Only you can really say what is continuing the cycle. I would suggest therapy if you aren’t already in it. Good luck and hang in there! Luv ya, Tara
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This is the first time that I have posted to the group and I hope that you can help me. Although I have not had my Ed for many years, I do have it. I want to get better but I am so very fearful. I have looked at the group for the past couple of days since my supporter found you. Perhaps you can help me with a question that I cannot find an answer for myself. If I am so desperate to be well again, why would it be that I seem to cling on to this condition and use it as a way of comfort. I get very confused and don’t understand what is going on inside me half the time. Perhaps I should give a little history. My life seemingly collapsed for various reasons about 18 months ago. I became bulimic as a result of these personal problems. However, these problems are not as they were and have pretty much worked out. Can anyone tell me why the Ed has not gone away as a natural progression. I don’t understand this and I try so very hard but still I am standing still. I know that 18 months is a relatively short time and I feel I should be able to "snap out of it" but I can’t. Can anyone help me to understand what it is that makes this vicious circle continue. Flower
Response:
hi flower, welcome to the group. i understand your frustration of hating the disease and yet clinging to it. why? for me i believe the answer is that it still in an odd way is a coping mechanism for me. it is there for a reason. in order to let go, you need support adn better coping skills to replace the ed shell
Response:
This is the first time that I have posted to the group and I hope that you can help me. Although I have not had my Ed for many years, I do have it. I want to get better but I am so very fearful. I have looked at the group for the past couple of days since my supporter found you. Perhaps you can help me with a question that I cannot find an answer for myself. If I am so desperate to be well again, why would it be that I seem to cling on to this condition and use it as a way of comfort. I get very confused and don’t understand what is going on inside me half the time. Perhaps I should give a little history. My life seemingly collapsed for various reasons about 18 months ago. I became bulimic as a result of these personal problems. However, these problems are not as they were and have pretty much worked out. Can anyone tell me why the Ed has not gone away as a natural progression. I don’t understand this and I try so very hard but still I am standing still. I know that 18 months is a relatively short time and I feel I should be able to "snap out of it" but I can’t. Can anyone help me to understand what it is that makes this vicious circle continue. Flower
Response:
To know that there are others who are feeling and dealing with similar things at the same time helps. Thank you. I was seeing a psychologist but due to changes in our GP system she has now left. I am waiting for an appointment at a clinic in my area. I do miss seeing Ann (the psychologist) she was helping me to deal with things, but I am not looking forward to the clinic at all. I am not sure that I will even go there yet. I am still thinking about it. I would like very much to think that I have just found a new group friends. It is good to know that you guys are aware of what my head is doing without the need for too many words. In your replies I can feel your caring. Flower
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