Question:
Hi Beckka: Beckka, I don’t know who you are. I don’t think I have ever talked to you before. I am Thumper and it is nice to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for this wonderful post of affection toward those with mental illness, which is after all, something that we can’t help, just like we can’t help having DID. I am not psychotic. But, like others, I took Zyrexa for a while and it helped me tremendously…within only a couple of days. I felt better than I had in a very long while. For what it is worth, my T put me on Zyprexa for one *primary* reason: sleep. Yes, sleep. And, it worked. But only for a very short time. I am sure that there were other benefits too because I felt so good. That surely was not just because I got a couple nights of excellent rest. For my own reasons, I came off all meds and I am fighting the fight to stay well / better. I am losing the fight however. Depression is getting more than I handle. Anxiety is bad. Blah, blah, blah and blah. Funny isn’t it? We of all people should know what it feels like to be the target of misunderstanding. Littles inside hurt for people not even *trying* or *wanting* to understand. Littles hate to see anyone ridiculed for something that they have no power to stop like we had power to stop the hurters. Thank you Beckka. Thumper. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – OKay… how can I put this gently? I am upset, but I am sincere… please hear me out? I have seen a lot of talk here on the dissociation ng about schizophrenia and antipsychotic medications. It has been painful for me to see so much misunderstanding about schizophrenia, psychosis, paranoia, and antipsychotic medications. How can I describe my condition? I am multiple, with a schizoaffective (depressed type) vulnerability. I have learned all I can about both. The DID dx came 7years ago, I remember I thought, well, TG I am not schizophrenic! Boy then I’d REALLY be nuts! whew…! As predicted on much earlier testing, just a year or so ago, at a time of dealing with incredible life stressors, as I became increasingly dreadful and paranoid, and came to learn more about schizophrenia. As a multiple (and I used to be quite a vocal one!) I hated hearing the general public’s opinion of the "Sybil" multiple, and it was often, by the uninfomed, refered to as schizophrenia. This chapped my hide– this misinformation was perpetuated and laughed about over the airways, on t.v., in office coffee rooms everywhere– and there seemed to be so little support and understanding. Just stigma. I know many multiples who have experienced this anguish. Now… am I really seing multiple’s perpetuating misunderstandings about mental illness? Please let’s not perpetuate misinformation here about schizophrenia and psychotic conditions. I know I’m not the only one who’s had to deal with it. Yes, some multiples take anti-psychotics at low doses, and it actually helps them tremendously. Some multiples can and DO become psychotic, as the dissociative defenses can’t handle absolutely everything all the time… some things that happen to some people can "break" them, hopefully for brief periods of time, with the right treatment and the social supports needed to address problems. Some multiples are vulnerable to schizophrenic disorders. Some have personality disorders, some have seizures, some of us will be vulnerable to depression and anxiety long after integration, and there are many other possibilities. Just as we all experience our selfs/states in unique ways, we all have traits and vulnerabilites that point to other problems and strengths. This is part of being multiple. None of us is necessarily immune to psychosis. Whether multiple or not. We are all very complex individuals. I just want to say please tread carefully and if you truly don’t understand these things, try to avoid presenting your opinions of it as if you do. Psychosis is very, very painful, disabling stuff. And just as with multiplicity, empathy goes a long, long way to bridging the gap between the afflicted and isolated and care and support. Thanks for hearing me. "Be patient toward all that is unresolved in your heart, and try to love the questions themselves." Rainer Maria Rilke
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Response:
Hi, Bekka. I heard you and read what you wrote. I am not and was not DID, but more toward the middle of the spectrum of dissociation, something around DDNOS, and I certainly have dissociative flashbacks associated with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I also have Bipolar Affect Disorder, and when unmedicated and under a LOT of stress I definitely have some delusions and possibly mild psychosis (how can you tell? *laugh*). I think the majority of folks here have simply been reacting to an assertion that schitzophrenia = dissociation. I know that’s what I’ve been reacting to. As far as I’ve read and learned, they’re not even remotely the same, although they CAN look similar to the untrained eye (and even to the trained eye if they’re not paying close enough attention). I agree with you on the general lack of support for any sort of mental illness or disorder, btw. While I’ve been extremely fortunate and have very supportive friends, a lot of people have to deal with all kinds of discrimination and cruelty from the ignorant of the world. And also for what it’s worth, I take an anti-convulsant (Tegratol) and it controls my moods pretty much completely. So much for the notion that any and all delusional or psychotic conditions require an anti-psychotic or whatever they’re calling them these days 
Well, enough rambling. I guess I just wanted to do that. bonni — / http://www.geocities.com/Athens/3059/ t r i n i t y / http://www.prairienet.org/~bonni/
Response:
OKay… how can I put this gently? I am upset, but I am sincere… please hear me out? I have seen a lot of talk here on the dissociation ng about schizophrenia and antipsychotic medications. It has been painful for me to see so much misunderstanding about schizophrenia, psychosis, paranoia, and antipsychotic medications. How can I describe my condition? I am multiple, with a schizoaffective (depressed type) vulnerability. I have learned all I can about both. The DID dx came 7years ago, I remember I thought, well, TG I am not schizophrenic! Boy then I’d REALLY be nuts! whew…! As predicted on much earlier testing, just a year or so ago, at a time of dealing with incredible life stressors, as I became increasingly dreadful and paranoid, and came to learn more about schizophrenia. As a multiple (and I used to be quite a vocal one!) I hated hearing the general public’s opinion of the "Sybil" multiple, and it was often, by the uninfomed, refered to as schizophrenia. This chapped my hide– this misinformation was perpetuated and laughed about over the airways, on t.v., in office coffee rooms everywhere– and there seemed to be so little support and understanding. Just stigma. I know many multiples who have experienced this anguish. Now… am I really seing multiple’s perpetuating misunderstandings about mental illness? Please let’s not perpetuate misinformation here about schizophrenia and psychotic conditions. I know I’m not the only one who’s had to deal with it. Yes, some multiples take anti-psychotics at low doses, and it actually helps them tremendously. Some multiples can and DO become psychotic, as the dissociative defenses can’t handle absolutely everything all the time… some things that happen to some people can "break" them, hopefully for brief periods of time, with the right treatment and the social supports needed to address problems. Some multiples are vulnerable to schizophrenic disorders. Some have personality disorders, some have seizures, some of us will be vulnerable to depression and anxiety long after integration, and there are many other possibilities. Just as we all experience our selfs/states in unique ways, we all have traits and vulnerabilites that point to other problems and strengths. This is part of being multiple. None of us is necessarily immune to psychosis. Whether multiple or not. We are all very complex individuals. I just want to say please tread carefully and if you truly don’t understand these things, try to avoid presenting your opinions of it as if you do. Psychosis is very, very painful, disabling stuff. And just as with multiplicity, empathy goes a long, long way to bridging the gap between the afflicted and isolated and care and support. Thanks for hearing me. "Be patient toward all that is unresolved in your heart, and try to love the questions themselves." Rainer Maria Rilke
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