Question:
>As a matter of fact, I think everytime I post something on this >newsgroup, I’m testing. I’m so foolishly honest about myself and >personal life. I have this need to talk about my problems, and to see >if people will still love me and understand me even though I’m nuts. >Hey, some of them actually do, until I act like the asshole I was the >other day by cursing out the whole NG.
We are all testing. It’s called validation and confrontation. Two basic mechanisms of human interaction. We all do it consciously or otherwise every time we communicate. We either look for confirmation of our own self image to reassure ourselves or we look for contradictions to provoke change. In a healthy situation we get a balance of both that leads us to greater growth. This group is a bit extreme but no different in principle to anywhere else. I too am foolishly honest and open. My date last Tuesday joked that I could get lots of dates with women doing psych courses purely for research value. That’s fine by me 
And I like it when you swear. Trevor
Response:
Hey guys, I am suffering from Bi Polar and post traumatic stress disorder, its made me do some wacked things in the past and I am starting to have problems with it again. Does anyone else suffer from it? I could use some real support right now if anyone has any to offer, Its affecting my job and I even am suffering from actual physical sickness from it, any advise? Sarah
Response:
I have PTSD also. Lately, since I’ve been talking about the problems I had in High School, and the psychiatrist I had a that time, I’ve been more defensive lately. That may be from the PTSD. My obsessions seem to mostly get triggered by trauma. For instance when my grandmother got sick 4 years ago, and my family fell apart, I became obsessively terrified of my mother and grandmother dying and being all alone with no one, and fearing being homeless. I go around in circles with this obsession. Some days it’s not as bad, but sometimes it’s horrible and I’m comlpletely hysterical. I also test people to see if they’ll leave me, because I’m constantly fearing rejection and abandonment. I know that makes no sense, but the impulse to test is very strong. I hate myself for pushing people away, and obsess over how I "shouldn’t have" and "how could I be such an ass hole" and heartbroken over the loss. I don’t trust myself socially. This also has to do with why I’ve become so shut in. I don’t know if I’m bipolar. My current doctor doesn’t think I’m bipolar now, But, he does think I may have had a manic episode when I was on Prozac many years ago because I went through a very promiscious phase while on that drug. ( I didn’t enjoy the sex, either. Couldn’t feel anything but panic. But I kept sleeping with a new guy every other week, hoping I would feel something so I could prove that I was "normal". I got tested for HIV after that and thank God the results were fine.) As a matter of fact, I think everytime I post something on this newsgroup, I’m testing. I’m so foolishly honest about myself and personal life. I have this need to talk about my problems, and to see if people will still love me and understand me even though I’m nuts. Hey, some of them actually do, until I act like the asshole I was the other day by cursing out the whole NG. -kbeth On 5 May 1999 12:21:11 GMT, saracut…@aol.com (SaraCuty22) wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Hey guys, >I am suffering from Bi Polar and post traumatic stress disorder, its made me do >some wacked things in the past and I am starting to have problems with it >again. Does anyone else suffer from it? I could use some real support right now >if anyone has any to offer, Its affecting my job and I even am suffering from >actual physical sickness from it, any advise? >Sarah
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