Trauma – PTSD

Question:

Hi Donna! > I’m being nice with that subject title.   I’m in this place in life > where I’m totally out of control with my life.  I don’t like it.

That is totally normal thinking … not to like my life to be totally out of control! > But NOTHING I do can nor will change it.  There are people > who have total control over me right now…..that may sound > like a lie, a hyperbole, whatever…..it’s still true.  I have to live > by their rules or else.  And I refuse to live by their rules.  It > means they have total control over me.  They do. Yet they > don’t as I won’t let them.  Yet they do.  Circles?  You bet.

Other people only have as much control over me as I give them.   > They have the control and power to stop this heck I’m going > thru right now but they are refusing.  I’m NOT in ptsd but > it’s sooooo much like my history that perhaps, just perhaps > they still think that I am.  They’re professionals you see.  They’re > ruining what life I have left but they truly don’t care at t his > point.  Right now, it’s about THEM.  They want me to think > that it isn’t….that this all is my fault…..that if I just did what > they want me to do THEN it’lll be ok.  But that’s the problem. > CUZ I WON’T!

No one ruined my life.  I did more damage to my life than I would like to admit, tho.  During the first few years of therapy, I could not do everything asked of me.  I did what I could, and the rest I told my therapist I could not do … at that time. I believe that I have finally done everything that I was asked to do.   The final challenge was massage therapy. > is it ok to say fuck them?  Even that doesn’t change anything. > They soooo enjoy making my life miserable.  Yes, they > truly have that power.  Move you say?  I did.  Didn’t work. > Nothing has.

Wherever I go, there I am!  :/ > I know this post sounds soooo much like craziness….but it’s > true.  They want that to…..make me sound like i’m fn nuts. > They have me cornered.  Thing is, I’m not scared of them.

What’s so bad about being nuts?  I rather enjoy that attribute. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy

Response:

"bckwrds" <bckw…@theriver.com> wrote in message

news:41b9f266$0$16524$8b463f8a@news.nationwide.net… > I’m doing ok, thanks for the response.  My life has not been > easy and that’s putting it mildly.  So much shi*t is behind me and > yet there’s so much more that lies ahead.  What’s going on in my > life is good….it just doesn’t "feel" that way.  Getting the good > separate from the bad can be so confusing as sometimes doing > good means bad things will happen…. > My faith will carry me thru this nightmare…..I just have to hang > on a little bit longer. > I do know one answer……I know why no one ever believed me.

Just hang in there baby it’ll be ok. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> gads, what a life > Donna

Response:

"Nancy" <kipc…@msn.com> wrote in message

news:E2tvd.4424$jn.1699@lakeread06… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Donna! > > I’m being nice with that subject title.   I’m in this place in life > > where I’m totally out of control with my life.  I don’t like it. > That is totally normal thinking … not to like my life to be totally out > of control! > > But NOTHING I do can nor will change it.  There are people > > who have total control over me right now…..that may sound > > like a lie, a hyperbole, whatever…..it’s still true.  I have to live > > by their rules or else.  And I refuse to live by their rules.  It > > means they have total control over me.  They do. Yet they > > don’t as I won’t let them.  Yet they do.  Circles?  You bet. > Other people only have as much control over me as I give them. > > They have the control and power to stop this heck I’m going > > thru right now but they are refusing.

Aren’t you the one who’s saying I should get over my anger or let it go? I’m not saying you are right but people can only hurt you if you fall for their bullshit.  I may not be a swammy or very peaceful but I do happen to give a rats ass about you.  You are working yourself into a frensy over things you cannot change and they will use it to justify the way they treated you before. They are playing with your head and you are letting them. I may not be a tame person but I know that much.  You are letting them work you into a frenzy so they can prove you are irrational.  I know you you are one of the saniest people I’ve ever met.  They are getting you to explode so they can label you and store you.  It’s an old trick known to us old time LDers.  (People with Learning Disorders)  So before I found out I had post I had a confirmed learning disorder as well. I don’t want that to happen to you either. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I’m NOT in ptsd but > > it’s sooooo much like my history that perhaps, just perhaps > > they still think that I am.  They’re professionals you see.  They’re > > ruining what life I have left but they truly don’t care at t his > > point.  Right now, it’s about THEM.  They want me to think > > that it isn’t….that this all is my fault…..that if I just did what > > they want me to do THEN it’lll be ok.  But that’s the problem. > > CUZ I WON’T! > No one ruined my life.  I did more damage to my life than I would like to > admit, tho.  During the first few years of therapy, I could not do > everything asked of me.  I did what I could, and the rest I told my > therapist I could not do … at that time. > I believe that I have finally done everything that I was asked to do. > The final challenge was massage therapy. > > is it ok to say fuck them?  Even that doesn’t change anything. > > They soooo enjoy making my life miserable.  Yes, they > > truly have that power.  Move you say?  I did.  Didn’t work. > > Nothing has. > Wherever I go, there I am!  :/ > > I know this post sounds soooo much like craziness….but it’s > > true.  They want that to…..make me sound like i’m fn nuts. > > They have me cornered.  Thing is, I’m not scared of them.

Understand who the hell am I to judge after all the shit I pulled.  You just tell me the straight dope and I won’t judge you nothing you can say can shock me. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> What’s so bad about being nuts?  I rather enjoy that attribute. lol > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy

Response:

"bckwrds" <bckw…@theriver.com> wrote in message

news:41b49e2e$0$27771$8b463f8a@news.nationwide.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’m being nice with that subject title.   I’m in this place in life > where I’m totally out of control with my life.  I don’t like it. > But NOTHING I do can nor will change it.  There are people > who have total control over me right now…..that may sound > like a lie, a hyperbole, whatever…..it’s still true.  I have to live > by their rules or else.  And I refuse to live by their rules.  It > means they have total control over me.  They do. Yet they > don’t as I won’t let them.  Yet they do.  Circles?  You bet. > They have the control and power to stop this heck I’m going > thru right now but they are refusing.  I’m NOT in ptsd but > it’s sooooo much like my history that perhaps, just perhaps > they still think that I am.  They’re professionals you see.  They’re > ruining what life I have left but they truly don’t care at t his > point.  Right now, it’s about THEM.  They want me to think > that it isn’t….that this all is my fault…..that if I just did what > they want me to do THEN it’lll be ok.  But that’s the problem. > CUZ I WON’T!

I been there and I hear you but you don’t have to let them ruin your life. Hey tell me about it what was your history like.  With post there is a tendency to think authority doesn’t care but maybe they are frustrated, lost and worn out.  Maybe their problems have nothing to do with you but if you go in there with that attitude then you’ll have the same problems.  What I suggest is listen to music, take a bath with salts in it try to make yerself as physically comfortable as you can maybe it will calm down your nervious system so you can focus and concentrate.  You sound keyed up.  Also I’d say take yer meds to control yourself and only see a few doctors. Massage and relaxation works with this disorder as well as yoga meditation to calm down your over active fight or flight system.  I couldn’t tolerate what they gave me for anxiety it made me sick off my stomach and groggy. So I’m unmedicated for post traumatic stress disorder and it was really awful after I was raped. I’d say get a note book and write an account of what happened to you.  It really does help to talk about it if you are too embarressed or afraid of rejection write your feelings about what happened in your notebook.  Maybe when you are ready give the notebook to your therapist. If you meditate take a bath with salts in there to relax your muscles and play music then it should make your nervous system relax and lower your adrenaline levels enough to get some relief from the chronic high alert and some sleep.   If you do this then you might be able to get back to near normal functioning.  The main problem with post is that I lie awake trembling and worrying or have a flash back.  After I have another nightmare or bad scare then I have trouble sleeping.  Maybe you aren’t getting enough sleep and that is why you can’t function. Because lack of sleep makes post traumatic even worse after a night of no sleep you get more edgy and threatened than normal. At least it does with me. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> is it ok to say fuck them?  Even that doesn’t change anything. > They soooo enjoy making my life miserable.  Yes, they > truly have that power.  Move you say?  I did.  Didn’t work. > Nothing has. > I know this post sounds soooo much like craziness….but it’s > true.  They want that to…..make me sound like i’m fn nuts. > They have me cornered.  Thing is, I’m not scared of them. > — > …..the sun rises in the East and sets in the West….

Response:

I’m doing ok, thanks for the response.  My life has not been easy and that’s putting it mildly.  So much shi*t is behind me and yet there’s so much more that lies ahead.  What’s going on in my life is good….it just doesn’t "feel" that way.  Getting the good separate from the bad can be so confusing as sometimes doing good means bad things will happen…. My faith will carry me thru this nightmare…..I just have to hang on a little bit longer. I do know one answer……I know why no one ever believed me. gads, what a life Donna

Response:

Hello Donna, I think you will not only hang on but you will succeed in finding the right path that will enable you to contend with whatever has to be done to heal.My prayer’s and hopefull thoughts are with you in your quest for better health and harmony in your life, be well, John de

Response:

i’m glad to hear you’re ok.  i hope this gets resolved soon, so you may find some sense of calm inside yourself.  crazymaking things and/or people are enough to make any one feel like they’re standing in quicksand. best of luck to you donna.  glad you have your faith to carry you through. best, kat "bckwrds" <bckw…@theriver.com> wrote in message

news:41b9f266$0$16524$8b463f8a@news.nationwide.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’m doing ok, thanks for the response.  My life has not been > easy and that’s putting it mildly.  So much shi*t is behind me and > yet there’s so much more that lies ahead.  What’s going on in my > life is good….it just doesn’t "feel" that way.  Getting the good > separate from the bad can be so confusing as sometimes doing > good means bad things will happen…. > My faith will carry me thru this nightmare…..I just have to hang > on a little bit longer. > I do know one answer……I know why no one ever believed me. > gads, what a life > Donna

Response:

"bckwrds" <bckw…@theriver.com> wrote in message

news:41b49e2e$0$27771$8b463f8a@news.nationwide.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’m being nice with that subject title.   I’m in this place in life > where I’m totally out of control with my life.  I don’t like it. > But NOTHING I do can nor will change it.  There are people > who have total control over me right now…..that may sound > like a lie, a hyperbole, whatever…..it’s still true.  I have to live > by their rules or else.  And I refuse to live by their rules.  It > means they have total control over me.  They do. Yet they > don’t as I won’t let them.  Yet they do.  Circles?  You bet. > They have the control and power to stop this heck I’m going > thru right now but they are refusing.  I’m NOT in ptsd but > it’s sooooo much like my history that perhaps, just perhaps > they still think that I am.  They’re professionals you see.  They’re > ruining what life I have left but they truly don’t care at t his > point.  Right now, it’s about THEM.  They want me to think > that it isn’t….that this all is my fault…..that if I just did what > they want me to do THEN it’lll be ok.  But that’s the problem. > CUZ I WON’T! > is it ok to say fuck them?  Even that doesn’t change anything. > They soooo enjoy making my life miserable.  Yes, they > truly have that power.  Move you say?  I did.  Didn’t work. > Nothing has. > I know this post sounds soooo much like craziness….but it’s > true.  They want that to…..make me sound like i’m fn nuts. > They have me cornered.  Thing is, I’m not scared of them. > — > …..the sun rises in the East and sets in the West….

a cornered dog might bite, or submit, depending on the corner. …..sun was still, nothing rose, nothing set.

Response:

"kat" <misadventur…@yahoo.com> who barracks for the Seattle Seahawks wrote in news:Yt9ud.7225$_G.4018@news01.roc.ny: Hey Kat, Just heard from TD, she’s a bit worried that she hasn’t heard from you for awhile. She doesn’t come in here anymore. You might want to send her a quick email just to say Hi — Peter Lucas Brisbane Australia Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in an attractive and well preserved body but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "Woo hoo, what a freakin’ ride!!"

Response:

hey donna, how are things going for you?  did things settle down at all, or were you able to get any resolution to what’s been going on?  *concerned look* i sure hope so, i’ve been thinking about you. kat "bckwrds" <bckw…@theriver.com> wrote in message

news:41b49e2e$0$27771$8b463f8a@news.nationwide.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’m being nice with that subject title.   I’m in this place in life > where I’m totally out of control with my life.  I don’t like it. > But NOTHING I do can nor will change it.  There are people > who have total control over me right now…..that may sound > like a lie, a hyperbole, whatever…..it’s still true.  I have to live > by their rules or else.  And I refuse to live by their rules.  It > means they have total control over me.  They do. Yet they > don’t as I won’t let them.  Yet they do.  Circles?  You bet. > They have the control and power to stop this heck I’m going > thru right now but they are refusing.  I’m NOT in ptsd but > it’s sooooo much like my history that perhaps, just perhaps > they still think that I am.  They’re professionals you see.  They’re > ruining what life I have left but they truly don’t care at t his > point.  Right now, it’s about THEM.  They want me to think > that it isn’t….that this all is my fault…..that if I just did what > they want me to do THEN it’lll be ok.  But that’s the problem. > CUZ I WON’T! > is it ok to say fuck them?  Even that doesn’t change anything. > They soooo enjoy making my life miserable.  Yes, they > truly have that power.  Move you say?  I did.  Didn’t work. > Nothing has. > I know this post sounds soooo much like craziness….but it’s > true.  They want that to…..make me sound like i’m fn nuts. > They have me cornered.  Thing is, I’m not scared of them. > — > …..the sun rises in the East and sets in the West….

Response:

I’m being nice with that subject title.   I’m in this place in life where I’m totally out of control with my life.  I don’t like it. But NOTHING I do can nor will change it.  There are people who have total control over me right now…..that may sound like a lie, a hyperbole, whatever…..it’s still true.  I have to live by their rules or else.  And I refuse to live by their rules.  It means they have total control over me.  They do. Yet they don’t as I won’t let them.  Yet they do.  Circles?  You bet. They have the control and power to stop this heck I’m going thru right now but they are refusing.  I’m NOT in ptsd but it’s sooooo much like my history that perhaps, just perhaps they still think that I am.  They’re professionals you see.  They’re ruining what life I have left but they truly don’t care at t his point.  Right now, it’s about THEM.  They want me to think that it isn’t….that this all is my fault…..that if I just did what they want me to do THEN it’lll be ok.  But that’s the problem. CUZ I WON’T! is it ok to say fuck them?  Even that doesn’t change anything. They soooo enjoy making my life miserable.  Yes, they truly have that power.  Move you say?  I did.  Didn’t work. Nothing has. I know this post sounds soooo much like craziness….but it’s true.  They want that to…..make me sound like i’m fn nuts. They have me cornered.  Thing is, I’m not scared of them. — …..the sun rises in the East and sets in the West….

Response:

Is this Donna ? Keep trying to maintain that portion of you that you know is right, stand your ground but try not to be completely resistant to new ideas. I am in a bad spot but of my own doing, now I know I have to make amends or at least try to explain my decisions with clarity, not easy, especially when we are really fuming and frustrated, I will keep you in my prayers, that you you find a way to a better place, if you prefer I send you the power of the white light and my respect for posting and fighting, Take Care,Stay Physically Healthy, it gives you more going power, John De

Response:

donna, sorry you are stressing.  :(  as far as telling people how you feel?  if i’m not sure if i’m overreacting, i wait 24 hours, (to give ptsd chance to settle down).  if i *still* feel that way, then i speak my mind-with no regrets. take care. kat "bckwrds" <bckw…@theriver.com> wrote in message

news:41b49e2e$0$27771$8b463f8a@news.nationwide.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’m being nice with that subject title.   I’m in this place in life > where I’m totally out of control with my life.  I don’t like it. > But NOTHING I do can nor will change it.  There are people > who have total control over me right now…..that may sound > like a lie, a hyperbole, whatever…..it’s still true.  I have to live > by their rules or else.  And I refuse to live by their rules.  It > means they have total control over me.  They do. Yet they > don’t as I won’t let them.  Yet they do.  Circles?  You bet. > They have the control and power to stop this heck I’m going > thru right now but they are refusing.  I’m NOT in ptsd but > it’s sooooo much like my history that perhaps, just perhaps > they still think that I am.  They’re professionals you see.  They’re > ruining what life I have left but they truly don’t care at t his > point.  Right now, it’s about THEM.  They want me to think > that it isn’t….that this all is my fault…..that if I just did what > they want me to do THEN it’lll be ok.  But that’s the problem. > CUZ I WON’T! > is it ok to say fuck them?  Even that doesn’t change anything. > They soooo enjoy making my life miserable.  Yes, they > truly have that power.  Move you say?  I did.  Didn’t work. > Nothing has. > I know this post sounds soooo much like craziness….but it’s > true.  They want that to…..make me sound like i’m fn nuts. > They have me cornered.  Thing is, I’m not scared of them. > — > …..the sun rises in the East and sets in the West….

Response:

Question:

"Hood" <h…@nospam.com> wrote in message

news:yg1nd.290$qh3.143@newsfe6-gui.ntli.net… > If you could close your eyes and hear birds singing, when you know there are > no birds around this high up. > If you could close your eyes and hear the wind in the trees. > If you could close your eyes and hear the waves, the ocean, the sea. > And someone came along and said > "These are delusions, take this pill and fix it" > Would you take that pill? > Michelle

Michelle I was HAPPIER when I was MAD this summer for some of the time because it can be very exciting to have all that amazing and out-of-this-world "stuff" going on. However it is now very cringeworthy wen I think about it all and I can’t help feeling like a thick idiot. — kes

Response:

>Michelle I was HAPPIER when I was MAD this summer for some of the time >because it can be very exciting to have all that amazing and >out-of-this-world "stuff" going on. However it is now very cringeworthy wen >I think about it all and I can’t help feeling like a thick idiot.

sometimes i think schizophrenia is similar to sensory dep and the mind simply fills in things out of boredom or poor input.  maybe sz is like going into a shell because reality can be a pain sometimes. my sz is similar to post-traumatic stress disorder. michael

Response:

Like Damo, I know that I will never ‘recover’. I have bad days and better days, bad months and better months and bad years and better years. I take my meds to try to contol my delusions and hallucinations, but what I hate is when it puts a dampener on my ability to write creatively. As a writer I was taught that there was no such thing as ‘writers block’, but so often my motivation and creativity feels blunted. If a pill could take my hallucinations away but preserve my writing ability I would sing my praises freely and happily. <damod…@webtv.net> wrote in message

news:8458-419CBA92-194@storefull-3234.bay.webtv.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Good question,Hood. > But here’s the screw; most folks who go to see a doctor are readily > admiting disorder. > Why else would a person go to a doctor? > Of course the sentiments and poetic nuances, our emotional circumstances > are wanted. It is life as we know it. > I will never "recover". There have been times I wanted to recover. But > no more. > I don’t need to recover. All I need to do is to go on with it. > So…..its likely I wouldn’t take the pill that makes the tweetering > invisible birds that fly about me head go away. > I am so used to hearing my recording equipment do amazing things when I > leave the room it would be a shock to me to hear the actual recording. > Yesterday, I stood half way up my stairs (second floor apartment) and > listened to this guitar work come from my recordings. It was me, and > what I was hearing was almost an entirely differnet piece of work > (music). > Now if they had some kind of "okay juice" I could put on my equipment to > make it behave when I left the room whould I put the "Okay Juice" on my > CDs to stop it? > No. > I listen to the creativity expressed by the electronics with an open > ear. And I am slightly puzzeled over how when I approach the front room > the electronics go back to acting normal again and I can recognize the > song. > I have schizophrenic equipment, but usually only when I leave it alone > in the room by itself. > I was standing there with my hand on the banister and simply marveling > over an interpretation of "Crossroads" my creative equipment was > playing, all alone, by itself, in the front room……..yesterday > afternoon. This sort of thing happens all the time. I get ideas from it > for my guitar. > Nah….I wouldn’t take the pill. > Ain’t nothink gonna be okay no how anyway. > Dam > http://community.webtv.net/damodara/MystoryasIseeit

Response:

If you could close your eyes and hear birds singing, when you know there are no birds around this high up. If you could close your eyes and hear the wind in the trees. If you could close your eyes and hear the waves, the ocean, the sea. And someone came along and said "These are delusions, take this pill and fix it" Would you take that pill? Michelle

Response:

Good question,Hood. But here’s the screw; most folks who go to see a doctor are readily admiting disorder. Why else would a person go to a doctor? Of course the sentiments and poetic nuances, our emotional circumstances are wanted. It is life as we know it. I will never "recover". There have been times I wanted to recover. But no more. I don’t need to recover. All I need to do is to go on with it. So…..its likely I wouldn’t take the pill that makes the tweetering invisible birds that fly about me head go away. I am so used to hearing my recording equipment do amazing things when I leave the room it would be a shock to me to hear the actual recording. Yesterday, I stood half way up my stairs (second floor apartment) and listened to this guitar work come from my recordings. It was me, and what I was hearing was almost an entirely differnet piece of work (music). Now if they had some kind of "okay juice" I could put on my equipment to make it behave when I left the room whould I put the "Okay Juice" on my CDs to stop it? No. I listen to the creativity expressed by the electronics with an open ear. And I am slightly puzzeled over how when I approach the front room the electronics go back to acting normal again and I can recognize the song. I have schizophrenic equipment, but usually only when I leave it alone in the room by itself. I was standing there with my hand on the banister and simply marveling over an interpretation of "Crossroads" my creative equipment was playing, all alone, by itself, in the front room……..yesterday afternoon. This sort of thing happens all the time. I get ideas from it for my guitar. Nah….I wouldn’t take the pill. Ain’t nothink gonna be okay no how anyway. Dam http://community.webtv.net/damodara/MystoryasIseeit

Response:

Hood wrote: > If you could close your eyes and hear birds singing, when you know there are > no birds around this high up. > If you could close your eyes and hear the wind in the trees. > If you could close your eyes and hear the waves, the ocean, the sea. > And someone came along and said > "These are delusions, take this pill and fix it" > Would you take that pill? > Michelle

It depends.  If I can control when I hear these things, then no.  If they come to me unbidden at inconvenient times and make it difficult for me to eat a meal or void my bowels without feeling sheer terror, then definitely yes.  It’s a matter of having control of one’s own life, being able to do everyday things such as keep friends and hold on to a job, and being occasionally happy and mostly content rather than unhappy all the time. -wl

Response:

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -David wrote: > Hi Andea, > I also have an illness that I have to deal with, which has some > depression and psychosis as well, mostly paranoia. I’m on ssi and work > part time, but soon hope to get a full time job where I’m working now > and get off it completely. It’s something I’ve felt like I was ready > for for a long time now. Its good you’re doing volunteer work, I’m > sure it helps being out among other people. I’ve also had difficulty > socializing and making friends, but I’ve been trying to be more open > here on the internet, and it’s helped a lot. Most of the time I tend > to keep to myself, unless someone speaks to me, which I think is > pretty normal. Sorry to hear about your ptsd, I was recently diagnosed > with it, and began therapy not too long ago. I’ve also been through a > lot, but feel like I still have a lot more to go through. I guess it > just takes time. > Anyway I just wanted to welcome you to the group, I’m sure other’s > will follow. > Take care, > David

Yeah bloody hell must have slipped my mind welcome to our group such as it is.  Don’t mind me no one else does.  You are welcome to it if you can stand us.  If you have any memories of abuse you post a title and then append triggering to the end of it.  We also have trouble with trolls.  I suggest you ignore any posts by a guy named Lucas.  Ask someone like tiny dancer or peter or David about how to configure your kill file.  He doesn’t have post traumatic and is here to cause trouble basically as are a few others.  Take everything you read here with a huge bag of salt.:) Some people have different perspectives and different attitudes also come from different life experiences.  We even have different kinds of post traumatic stress disorder.  We have different ways of dealing with the trials of life.  Some people get angry and some people acques but there is no one right style you just gotta figure out how you are going to deal with the trials of your life.  We can back you up but no one can tell you how you gonna deal with your struggles in life.  You have to decide which attitude to take towards your problems.

Response:

In article <gizsd.5689$Va5.1…@newsread3.news.atl.earthlink.net>, katz…@mindspring.com says… > > Also it is relatively easy to pick a genuine PTSD sufferer. > Do you think I really have it?  I’m not too sure I know I have ADD.  I was > diagnosed with it pal, so this isn’t my fault I’m here.  Like it isn’t my > fault I have to take ritalin and go for counseling because there are places > I’d rather be and things I’d rather be doing.   I’d rather not be here I’d > rather not have this damn thing but what can I do about it.

Whether you have PTSD or not, you need support and comfort to help you cope with the events of the past. I’m no pdoc, but to my mind, the way you are reacting now indicates a high level of stress directly caused by trauma in your past, and that’s something that is no good for you or those around you. It must be extremely irritating to you for some here to consider you as somehow making it all up. I believe you, and if I have a beef with you, it is your tendency to write off loving man-woman relationships. I am not saying that there is some rule that everyone should be in a relationship, and if you want to be by yourself, that’s fine by me and I can entirely sympathise with your reasons for doing so. I try not to comment about Peter Lucas too much, but I think he owes you a big apology for his recent comments. Peter

Response:

Hi Blue! > I’m with you Katz as I’m a lurker and does that make me a troll?

I certainly hope not!  I lurked for a long time before I started posting. > Anyhow if a troll has something worth saying does it matter? > In fact does it matter at all if someone who isn’t who they say they > are stay on topic and have something to contribute to this group?

I think that it is important to respond, or not respond, to the actual post, not necessarily the poster. YMMV > Also it is relatively easy to pick a genuine PTSD sufferer. > And I don’t know why someone would want to pretend to suffer from such > an insidious and debilitating disease like Post Traumatic Stress.

Unfortunately, in the USA, this seems to be a very ‘trendy’ diagnosis.   ‘Everyone’ wants to have this diagnosis for the benefits (read economic) that can arise.  My constant rejoinder is ‘OK, the economic benefits aren’t that bad for me, but I will trade my symptoms with you any time’.   No one yet has wanted to make a trade. :/ Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy

Response:

"Nancy" <kipc…@msn.com> wrote in message

news:sFIsd.446$ln.198@lakeread06… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Blue! >> I’m with you Katz as I’m a lurker and does that make me a troll? > I certainly hope not!  I lurked for a long time before I started posting. >> Anyhow if a troll has something worth saying does it matter? >> In fact does it matter at all if someone who isn’t who they say they >> are stay on topic and have something to contribute to this group? > I think that it is important to respond, or not respond, to the actual > post, not necessarily the poster. YMMV >> Also it is relatively easy to pick a genuine PTSD sufferer. >> And I don’t know why someone would want to pretend to suffer from such >> an insidious and debilitating disease like Post Traumatic Stress. > Unfortunately, in the USA, this seems to be a very ‘trendy’ diagnosis. > ‘Everyone’ wants to have this diagnosis for the benefits (read economic) > that can arise.  My constant rejoinder is ‘OK, the economic benefits > aren’t that bad for me, but I will trade my symptoms with you any time’. > No one yet has wanted to make a trade. :/ > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy

You have stayed on track and cut through all the non-topic stuff happening lately, definitely a born leader.’trendy’ diagnosis.  This ‘Everyone’ wants to have this diagnosis for the benefits (read economic) that can arise’ intrigues me. Like there is only so much public money allocated to mental illnesses and I’m guessing mental illnesses like PTSD are at the bottom of the list. Unless of course someone has private health insurance. Me? I was diagnosed with PTSD in the 80’s. I spend almost a year in a public mental institution as an involuntary patient and then set about trying to destroy myself and everyone who tried to get close to me. Finally I ended up in prison serving 7 years of a 15 year term for murder. Now? in my sixties I have a law degree and see myself everyday in the young women who pass thought my office. Blue Skye

Response:

"Nancy" <kipc…@msn.com> wrote in message

news:sFIsd.446$ln.198@lakeread06… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Blue! > > I’m with you Katz as I’m a lurker and does that make me a troll? > I certainly hope not!  I lurked for a long time before I started posting. > > Anyhow if a troll has something worth saying does it matter? > > In fact does it matter at all if someone who isn’t who they say they > > are stay on topic and have something to contribute to this group? > I think that it is important to respond, or not respond, to the actual > post, not necessarily the poster. YMMV > > Also it is relatively easy to pick a genuine PTSD sufferer. > > And I don’t know why someone would want to pretend to suffer from such > > an insidious and debilitating disease like Post Traumatic Stress. > Unfortunately, in the USA, this seems to be a very ‘trendy’ diagnosis. > ‘Everyone’ wants to have this diagnosis for the benefits (read economic) > that can arise.  My constant rejoinder is ‘OK, the economic benefits > aren’t that bad for me, but I will trade my symptoms with you any time’. > No one yet has wanted to make a trade. :/

I’m not making a fucking profit here not looking for god damn sympathy.  If you don’t know the difference between a troll and someone who definately is fucked then to hell with you anyway.  I don’t need this shit I have enough to deal with without you people getting in my frigging face about it.  If you wanna believe I’m a troll go ahead and suck my useless sex organs. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy

Response:

Shove it Peter we all know you are full of shit and I ain’t buying you’re sob story why don’t you take your lying ass out before I get really pissed? Now shall we continue with the new kid’s problems?

Response:

> Ok. It’s a support group. How about you lend support to us instead of > mentioning the object of your longing and obsession in just about every > post you make? Stop talking about him and you’ll most likely find the > tension in this group will ease. Or better still, support us by taking all > your shit back to the sewer you slithered your way out of…and take all > those crappy, skanky, nasty friends from that other newsgroup away from > here too. When that happens, I’ll be on the road to being convinced  that > you understand the concept of a support group. > Scorpio

Weren’t you saying anger is the enemy?  I’d say stop responding when you think anything is inflamatory or in very poor taste.  Sometimes I lose my temper.  I’m starting to realize who pisses me off and I’m going to stop reading both of them.  According to me both peter’s trigger me so I’m not going to be reading either of them.  Since I do not believe he can either of them and I don’t know which one is which and both of them aren’t worth the trouble of reading.  I know one of them is and one of them isn’t so I’d stay away from them both.

Response:

Scorpio <scor…@nightsky.com> wrote in reply to…….. Peter <unva…@unvalid.com> a proven troll, forger, liar and convicted thief…… > My ISP was very helpful in investigating my forger. > All I provided to the investigators was the forged post. I didn’t > mention names.  And the forging stopped. I seem to recall seeing in > another newsgroup I frequent, someone having a sob about "false > allegations".

I seem to remember you telling me about that statement!! *Who*, apart from the forger, would have been cautioned by their news-server/ISP?? All the forged popsts were in *our* names…. and yet here we have the ’slug’ whining and carrying on about his ISP and new-server approaching him over "false claims"!!! What a joke!! The newsserver traced the forged posts back to the ’slug’ and it tried to waffle it off as a "false allegation"!! Bit hard when there were other peoples names on the forged posts!! A forger……. a liar……… a convicted thief……. a fraud/imposter. No wonder it’s unemployable in it’s home town, Canberra!! > No, actually, along came you and Pugsley. We were getting along just > fine before you both followed Peter Lucas in here to cause trouble. > And when challenged about it by the regulars in this group, your > attitude was despicable. You and your sibling troll Pugsley said you’d > stay here and disrupt the group for as long as you liked.

Yeah, I remember that thread………. The ’slug’ (aka mackay/mckey) said to anneks89, and everyone else on PTSD……… "If you want me to leave, then you’d best help to remove the source of my interest. As I said, I’m struck by the contrast between the vile, abusive, petulant person found in other groups, and the personality he presents here. When the contrast has gone, so too shall I go." http://tinyurl.com/3mlwo Seems there was/is only *one* interest in why it posts into PTSD….. me. Sounds like a threat/blackmail to all PTSD members, and stalking to me. It (the ’slug’) doesn’t have PTSD, it *is* a stalker (two confirmed charges so far…. more to come), it is obsessive and it *will* continue to harass, forge and stalk any member of PTSD who dare to speak out against it. Who, in this group, gives a rats arse about what is said in other newsgroups?? It, the stalker, and it’s pathetic little follwers are the only ones. Which is why it, and it’s pathetic little mates drag posts made elsewhere into here and bleat and whine about it being relevant. It is done for one reason and one reason only. To stalk and harrass certain people. It lays false charges against people living many thousands of k’s away from it’s hovel, in the vain hope that the people won’t turn up and fight it’s vexactious claims. When they do, as I did, the charges are immediately dropped and it chortles on the newsgroups about how it caused me to waste time and money to go and fight the bogus charges. So just killfile/Scorefile the fraud/imposter (mackay/mckey), Scorpio…. and lets us get on with life as ‘normal’ as we can without it’s shit constantly appearing in here.

Response:

Katz Heitmann <katz…@mindspring.com> wrote in news:ZSBqd.8996$Ua.2817@newsread3.news.atl.earthlink.net: >> Ok. It’s a support group. How about you lend support to us instead of >> mentioning the object of your longing and obsession in just about >> every post you make? Stop talking about him and you’ll most likely >> find the tension in this group will ease. Or better still, support us >> by taking all your shit back to the sewer you slithered your way out >> of…and take all those crappy, skanky, nasty friends from that other >> newsgroup away from here too. When that happens, I’ll be on the road >> to being convinced  that you understand the concept of a support >> group. >> Scorpio > Weren’t you saying anger is the enemy?

No,just my enemy, not the enemy  I’d say stop responding when > you think anything is inflamatory or in very poor taste.  Sometimes I > lose my temper.  

I’m starting to realize who pisses me off and I’m > going to stop reading both of them.  According to me both peter’s > trigger me so I’m not going to be reading either of them.  Since I do > not believe he can either of them and I don’t know which one is which > and both of them aren’t worth the trouble of reading.  I know one of > them is and one of them isn’t so I’d stay away from them both.

Between you, mackay and the manic crossposters, I’m being triggered here every day. You two can keep this place. He’ll be happy to have run another person out of the group and you can be just as proud of yourself too. A pigeon pair if ever I’ve seen one. Scorpio

Response:

Scorpio <scor…@nightsky.com> who barracks for the Seattle Seahawks wrote in news:Xns95B1D8788D804scorpionightskycom@130.133.1.4: > Between you, mackay and the manic crossposters, I’m being triggered > here every day. You two can keep this place. He’ll be happy to have > run another person out of the group and you can be just as proud of > yourself too. A pigeon pair if ever I’ve seen one.

I’m all for the Chinese Solution for both of them. Don’t waste your breath on Katz Heitmann <katz…@mindspring.com>, she’s now one of the trolls. — Peter Lucas             Do not walk behind me, Brisbane                        for I may lead you into danger. Australia                       Do not walk ahead of me,                                 for I will not follow anyone,                                 Do not walk beside me                                 for the path is too narrow,                                 In fact, just pi$$ off and leave me alone

Response:

> I’m all for the Chinese Solution for both of them. > Don’t waste your breath on Katz Heitmann <katz…@mindspring.com>, > she’s now one of the trolls.

Fuck you man I don’t need this shit.  I have enough problems.  You wanna believe I’m a troll go knock yourself out.  You know what I don’t give a shit what you fucking people think anyway.  Uptight bunch of judgemental fuckers anyway. Just because I mistook Peter for a legitamate poster doesn’t mean I’m a troll.  Just because I don’t trust either of then or believe their shit. Well fuck it if you want to believe it go ahead and do that. I’ve had it up to my neck with all of this shit anyway. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> — > Peter Lucas       Do not walk behind me, > Brisbane for I may lead you into danger. > Australia Do not walk ahead of me, > for I will not follow anyone, > Do not walk beside me > for the path is too narrow, > In fact, just pi$$ off and leave me alone

Response:

<katz…@mindspring.com> wrote in message

news:k%vsd.4023$714.3926@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->> I’m all for the Chinese Solution for both of them. >> Don’t waste your breath on Katz Heitmann <katz…@mindspring.com>, >> she’s now one of the trolls. > Fuck you man I don’t need this shit.  I have enough problems.  You wanna > believe I’m a troll go knock yourself out.  You know what I don’t give a > shit what you fucking people think anyway.  Uptight bunch of judgemental > fuckers anyway. > Just because I mistook Peter for a legitamate poster doesn’t mean I’m a > troll.  Just because I don’t trust either of then or believe their shit. > Well fuck it if you want to believe it go ahead and do that. > I’ve had it up to my neck with all of this shit anyway.

I’m with you Katz as I’m a lurker and does that make me a troll? Anyhow if a troll has something worth saying does it matter? In fact does it matter at all if someone who isn’t who they say they are stay on topic and have something to contribute to this group? Also it is relatively easy to pick a genuine PTSD sufferer. And I don’t know why someone would want to pretend to suffer from such an insidious and debilitating disease like Post Traumatic Stress. Like how many times has some well meaning person told you just to wake up to yourself, pull yourself together and get on with life. It happens to me all the time. Or someone will tell you that you don’t need medication you just need discipline. Or the old one is; Oh that happened years ago, just put it all behind you. Blue Skye

Response:

"blue skye" <blues…@hotmail.com> wrote in message

news:31fkt0F3ao6rtU1@individual.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> <katz…@mindspring.com> wrote in message > news:k%vsd.4023$714.3926@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net… > >> I’m all for the Chinese Solution for both of them. > >> Don’t waste your breath on Katz Heitmann <katz…@mindspring.com>, > >> she’s now one of the trolls. > > Fuck you man I don’t need this shit.  I have enough problems.  You wanna > > believe I’m a troll go knock yourself out.  You know what I don’t give a > > shit what you fucking people think anyway.  Uptight bunch of judgemental > > fuckers anyway. > > Just because I mistook Peter for a legitamate poster doesn’t mean I’m a > > troll.  Just because I don’t trust either of then or believe their shit. > > Well fuck it if you want to believe it go ahead and do that. > > I’ve had it up to my neck with all of this shit anyway. > I’m with you Katz as I’m a lurker and does that make me a troll? > Anyhow if a troll has something worth saying does it matter? > In fact does it matter at all if someone who isn’t who they say they are > stay on topic and have something to contribute to this group? > Also it is relatively easy to pick a genuine PTSD sufferer.

Do you think I really have it?  I’m not too sure I know I have ADD.  I was diagnosed with it pal, so this isn’t my fault I’m here.  Like it isn’t my fault I have to take ritalin and go for counseling because there are places I’d rather be and things I’d rather be doing.   I’d rather not be here I’d rather not have this damn thing but what can I do about it. > And I don’t know why someone would want to pretend to suffer from such an > insidious and debilitating disease like Post Traumatic Stress. > Like how many times has some well meaning person told you just to wake up to > yourself, pull yourself together and get on with life. > It happens to me all the time. > Or someone will tell you that you don’t need medication you just need > discipline. > Or the old one is; Oh that happened years ago, just put it all behind you.

 That too understand you totally.  I say whatever you have to do to get through the night.   I’m glad your medication works for you and you know yourself well enough to reject those false comforters.  I wish I had an antianxiety thing to take for a few months.  Or just when I needed it when I couldn’t sleep at night are was nervous because of something like a big exam or a social function I could take it the night before the event to help me get some good sleep. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Blue Skye

Response:

Peter <unva…@unvalid.com> wrote in news:MPG.1c0be25bec45d5f498987a@News.Individual.NET: > In article <Xns95A8E1236D557scorpionightsky…@130.133.1.4>, Scorpio > says… >>  If you arent >> aware, he’s been forged on this newsgroup and others. As recently >> have I, and td also. > Take it to the police, why don’t you?

My ISP was very helpful in investigating my forger. All I provided to the investigators was the forged post. I didn’t mention names.  And the forging stopped. I seem to recall seeing in another newsgroup I frequent, someone having a sob about "false allegations". Peter Lucas recently accused me > of forging his posts, but when I challenged him to produce any > evidence, he couldn’t come up with the goods. Or an apology, which > would be the decent thing to do. > Whenever this group seems to be getting close to acting as a > reasonable discussion forum and the posts are on-topic and > constructive, along comes Peter Lucas with yet another Internet > account and a whole pile of trolls and shills and utter crap which > does nobody any good at all.

No, actually, along came you and Pugsley. We were getting along just fine before you both followed Peter Lucas in here to cause trouble. And when challenged about it by the regulars in this group, your attitude was despicable. You and your sibling troll Pugsley said you’d stay here and disrupt the group for as long as you liked.   > No wonder people get upset to see a good group being hijacked.

Yes, we were most upset when you and Pugsley, and more recently Pits, decided to make this your new bully-boy stomping ground. Threatening to disrupt this group until you get all of us to killfile a regular poster. Your actions speak louder than any of your fancy phrases. > Now, PLEASE can we get back to the purpose of this group?

Ok. It’s a support group. How about you lend support to us instead of mentioning the object of your longing and obsession in just about every post you make? Stop talking about him and you’ll most likely find the tension in this group will ease. Or better still, support us by taking all your shit back to the sewer you slithered your way out of…and take all those crappy, skanky, nasty friends from that other newsgroup away from here too. When that happens, I’ll be on the road to being convinced  that you understand the concept of a support group. Scorpio

Response:

Scorpio posted: > Yes, we were most upset when you and Pugsley, and more recently Pits, > decided to make this your new bully-boy stomping ground.

Forgive me for posting this to a support group, I don’t approve of disrupting them, but your sentence above is absolute and complete bullshit where it refers to Pits. Pits has *never* posted to this group, let alone attempted to disrupt it in any way. http://tinyurl.com/5tvfm It appears you have been reading other groups like alt.ozdebate for example and getting confused. And even there in alt.ozdebate, Pits has actually chastised Peter Mckay for his (Mckays) posting to the PTSD group. As you are confused and your misleading folks about this, it makes me wonder what else of your post is only in your confused mind. Pits does criticise Mr Lucas, as do many, many others myself included, but *not* in the PTSD or any support group. If your man enough to admit your mistake about Pits, an apology is in order.. — Genesis

Response:

"Scorpio" <scor…@nightsky.com> wrote in message

news:Xns95A9DF8366FF3scorpionightskycom@130.133.1.4… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Peter <unva…@unvalid.com> wrote in > news:MPG.1c0be25bec45d5f498987a@News.Individual.NET: > > In article <Xns95A8E1236D557scorpionightsky…@130.133.1.4>, Scorpio > > says… > >>  If you arent > >> aware, he’s been forged on this newsgroup and others. As recently > >> have I, and td also. > > Take it to the police, why don’t you? > My ISP was very helpful in investigating my forger. > All I provided to the investigators was the forged post. I didn’t mention > names.  And the forging stopped. I seem to recall seeing in another > newsgroup I frequent, someone having a sob about "false allegations". > Peter Lucas recently accused me > > of forging his posts, but when I challenged him to produce any > > evidence, he couldn’t come up with the goods. Or an apology, which > > would be the decent thing to do. > > Whenever this group seems to be getting close to acting as a > > reasonable discussion forum and the posts are on-topic and > > constructive, along comes Peter Lucas with yet another Internet > > account and a whole pile of trolls and shills and utter crap which > > does nobody any good at all. > No, actually, along came you and Pugsley. We were getting along just fine > before you both followed Peter Lucas in here to cause trouble. And when > challenged about it by the regulars in this group, your attitude was > despicable. You and your sibling troll Pugsley said you’d stay here and > disrupt the group for as long as you liked. > > No wonder people get upset to see a good group being hijacked. > Yes, we were most upset when you and Pugsley, and more recently Pits, > decided to make this your new bully-boy stomping ground. Threatening to > disrupt this group until you get all of us to killfile a regular poster. > Your actions speak louder than any of your fancy phrases. > > Now, PLEASE can we get back to the purpose of this group? > Ok. It’s a support group. How about you lend support to us instead of > mentioning the object of your longing and obsession in just about every > post you make? Stop talking about him and you’ll most likely find the > tension in this group will ease. Or better still, support us by taking all > your shit back to the sewer you slithered your way out of…and take all > those crappy, skanky, nasty friends from that other newsgroup away from > here too. When that happens, I’ll be on the road to being convinced  that > you understand the concept of a support group. > Scorpio

Well said Scorpio.  I have removed myself to nutsville, as I’m sick and tired of the trolls.  Of peter and others who came in here to disrupt the group and suddenly now *claim* to have PTSD.  This used to be a great group at one time.  But I for one, can not forget how disgustingly disruptive vile and ugly peter, pugsley and their friends were to us here.  Beware of wolves in sheeps clothing. td

Response:

In article <Xns95A8E1236D557scorpionightsky…@130.133.1.4>, Scorpio says… >  If you arent > aware, he’s been forged on this newsgroup and others. As recently have I, > and td also.

Take it to the police, why don’t you? Peter Lucas recently accused me of forging his posts, but when I challenged him to produce any evidence, he couldn’t come up with the goods. Or an apology, which would be the decent thing to do. Whenever this group seems to be getting close to acting as a reasonable discussion forum and the posts are on-topic and constructive, along comes Peter Lucas with yet another Internet account and a whole pile of trolls and shills and utter crap which does nobody any good at all. No wonder people get upset to see a good group being hijacked. Now, PLEASE can we get back to the purpose of this group? Peter

Response:

Katz Heitmann <katz…@mindspring.com> wrote in news:YaCnd.6554$pK6.3170 @newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net: > Yeah bloody hell must have slipped my mind welcome to our group such as > it is.  Don’t mind me no one else does.  You are welcome to it if you > can stand us.  If you have any memories of abuse you post a title and > then append triggering to the end of it.  We also have trouble with > trolls.  I suggest you ignore any posts by a guy named Lucas.

Peter (Lucas) been instrumental in starting a place where we can post without the stresses of trolls or forgers. Or sickos who take our posts and put them in other newsgroups to invite derision and attack. If you arent aware, he’s been forged on this newsgroup and others. As recently have I, and td also. You’re falling straight into the troublemakers hands by suggesting he be killfiled or ignored. That’s exactly the response they want and will continue to get great joy out of your compliance to their wishes.  Ask > someone like tiny dancer or peter or David about how to configure your > kill file.  He doesn’t have post traumatic and is here to cause trouble > basically as are a few others.  Take everything you read here with a > huge bag of salt.:) > Some people have different perspectives and different attitudes also > come from different life experiences.  We even have different kinds of > post traumatic stress disorder.  We have different ways of dealing with > the trials of life.  Some people get angry and some people acques but > there is no one right style you just gotta figure out how you are going > to deal with the trials of your life.  We can back you up but no one can > tell you how you gonna deal with your struggles in life.  You have to > decide which attitude to take towards your problems.

The way I choose to deal with it is to take a deep breath or ten, and step away from the situation until I am calm enough to think clearly. Anger is my enemy.It clouds rational thought and makes me reactive rather than proactive. It prevents me from learning from my experiences and takes more energy to maintain than I can afford, if I am to improve. Scorpio

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -AELLEN22 wrote: > Hi, > My name is Andrea, and like the rest of you, have a ptsd diagonsis.  However, I > also have a bipolar 1 w/psychotic features and panic disorder diagnoses as > well. > I’ve been through tons , unfortuately, tramautic expreinces in my life.  And I > still have a hard time coping.  With some of my stuff, my therapist doesn’t > think I’m ready to deal with it, though it seems to be, for me extremely > pressing stuff.  It does bother me, but I don’t know what to do about it.  I’m > not asking any questions, it’s just rather frustrating, in more ways than one. > Right now, she and I are workng on friendshps (I have a problem w/ relationshps > in general)..and that’s going no where fast.  I can’t seem to meet peole my own > age, but then again, walking out of my apt is hard.  I haven’t had a real life > friend in 9 years…and the all left me because my anxiety adn bipolar were so > bad, I stopped functioning and my parents pulled me out of school… > If it’s ok to say, not going into detail, most of my ptsd stuff is from all > sorts of abuse…and its’ hard, ’cause it’s messed me up so bad, I have never > dated, don’t think a sexual realtionship will ever work for me, etc.  I feel > like I’m crazy and on teh outside looking in…all the time.  I feel so left > out..and w/ teh bipolar, I’m looked at as though I’m a real loon of sorts. > It’s not  aplesant life

Just because you are afraid of people and afraid to meet others that doesn’t make you crazy at all.  You have a legitamate reason to be scared because people have hurt you anyone who thinks you are crazy because you are afraid of people is naive.  You might be surprised don’t give up hope too soon.  Drop me an email some time about the abuse I’ve heard it all seen the worst shit on the planet trust me nothing will shock me. You shouldn’t care what others think of you so much or you’ll never get anything done in your life.  I’d say write an account of all the shit that has happened to you and then write letters to the people who did it to you expressing your hurt and anger and then burn them to ashes and dump the ashes in a lake having a memorial service for your bad memories.  Anyone who thinks you aren’t strong enough to deal with the abuse is not helping you.  You survived the initial abuse so you can face it and need to to get any peace from the demons who are attacking you all the time.  You are stronger than you know. > I’m on dsiablity (ssdi and ssi).  I cannot work, though I do voluinteer work a > couple of evening s aweek and want to increase my time there.  I’m also trying > to form a support hroup for peole w/ affective disorders..which is greatly > needed where I life.  Still, I feel useless and alone.  I can’t finish school > because I have no money and do not qualify for finacial aid..I only nmeed 3 > classes to graduate w/ my BS in Biology.

That’s work definately do not denegrate what you manage to do every step outside is a victory.  Everytime you leave your appartment you are winning the war against the demons of fear that are holding you pent. You have every reason to be afraid.  Courage is not the absence of fear it is the conquest of your fears.  We all have fears.  I’m afraid of crowds and I hate fire.  Some other people in here could tell you about their fears and every night I go out knowing that people can rape you and beat you up and do such horrible things to you but I’ll not let that stop me from doing what I want to do and neither should you.  If you stay inside the roof could cave in on top of you if you go out you could get hit by a bus.  If you tell that guy you think he’s cute then he could reject you but if you don’t talk to him he will certainly not ask you to the pub for a soda.  If you don’t know what you want then you have zero chance of getting it but if you do know you have a greater chance of getting it. > Well, I hope that’s enough to get me started, hope I can be helpful to you all, > Andrea

Are you going to let those bastards determine the rest of your life or are you going to decide what it is you want from your life and go get it before your time is up in this life?

Response:

Hi, My name is Andrea, and like the rest of you, have a ptsd diagonsis.  However, I also have a bipolar 1 w/psychotic features and panic disorder diagnoses as well. I’ve been through tons , unfortuately, tramautic expreinces in my life.  And I still have a hard time coping.  With some of my stuff, my therapist doesn’t think I’m ready to deal with it, though it seems to be, for me extremely pressing stuff.  It does bother me, but I don’t know what to do about it.  I’m not asking any questions, it’s just rather frustrating, in more ways than one. Right now, she and I are workng on friendshps (I have a problem w/ relationshps in general)..and that’s going no where fast.  I can’t seem to meet peole my own age, but then again, walking out of my apt is hard.  I haven’t had a real life friend in 9 years…and the all left me because my anxiety adn bipolar were so bad, I stopped functioning and my parents pulled me out of school… If it’s ok to say, not going into detail, most of my ptsd stuff is from all sorts of abuse…and its’ hard, ’cause it’s messed me up so bad, I have never dated, don’t think a sexual realtionship will ever work for me, etc.  I feel like I’m crazy and on teh outside looking in…all the time.  I feel so left out..and w/ teh bipolar, I’m looked at as though I’m a real loon of sorts. It’s not  aplesant life I’m on dsiablity (ssdi and ssi).  I cannot work, though I do voluinteer work a couple of evening s aweek and want to increase my time there.  I’m also trying to form a support hroup for peole w/ affective disorders..which is greatly needed where I life.  Still, I feel useless and alone.  I can’t finish school because I have no money and do not qualify for finacial aid..I only nmeed 3 classes to graduate w/ my BS in Biology. Well, I hope that’s enough to get me started, hope I can be helpful to you all, Andrea

Response:

Hi Andea, I also have an illness that I have to deal with, which has some depression and psychosis as well, mostly paranoia. I’m on ssi and work part time, but soon hope to get a full time job where I’m working now and get off it completely. It’s something I’ve felt like I was ready for for a long time now. Its good you’re doing volunteer work, I’m sure it helps being out among other people. I’ve also had difficulty socializing and making friends, but I’ve been trying to be more open here on the internet, and it’s helped a lot. Most of the time I tend to keep to myself, unless someone speaks to me, which I think is pretty normal. Sorry to hear about your ptsd, I was recently diagnosed with it, and began therapy not too long ago. I’ve also been through a lot, but feel like I still have a lot more to go through. I guess it just takes time. Anyway I just wanted to welcome you to the group, I’m sure other’s will follow. Take care, David On 13 Nov 2004 11:14:11 GMT, aelle…@aol.com (AELLEN22) wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Hi, >My name is Andrea, and like the rest of you, have a ptsd diagonsis.  However, I >also have a bipolar 1 w/psychotic features and panic disorder diagnoses as >well. >I’ve been through tons , unfortuately, tramautic expreinces in my life.  And I >still have a hard time coping.  With some of my stuff, my therapist doesn’t >think I’m ready to deal with it, though it seems to be, for me extremely >pressing stuff.  It does bother me, but I don’t know what to do about it.  I’m >not asking any questions, it’s just rather frustrating, in more ways than one. >Right now, she and I are workng on friendshps (I have a problem w/ relationshps >in general)..and that’s going no where fast.  I can’t seem to meet peole my own >age, but then again, walking out of my apt is hard.  I haven’t had a real life >friend in 9 years…and the all left me because my anxiety adn bipolar were so >bad, I stopped functioning and my parents pulled me out of school… >If it’s ok to say, not going into detail, most of my ptsd stuff is from all >sorts of abuse…and its’ hard, ’cause it’s messed me up so bad, I have never >dated, don’t think a sexual realtionship will ever work for me, etc.  I feel >like I’m crazy and on teh outside looking in…all the time.  I feel so left >out..and w/ teh bipolar, I’m looked at as though I’m a real loon of sorts. >It’s not  aplesant life >I’m on dsiablity (ssdi and ssi).  I cannot work, though I do voluinteer work a >couple of evening s aweek and want to increase my time there.  I’m also trying >to form a support hroup for peole w/ affective disorders..which is greatly >needed where I life.  Still, I feel useless and alone.  I can’t finish school >because I have no money and do not qualify for finacial aid..I only nmeed 3 >classes to graduate w/ my BS in Biology. >Well, I hope that’s enough to get me started, hope I can be helpful to you all, >Andrea

Response:

hello andrea, welcome.  :) kat "AELLEN22" <aelle…@aol.com> wrote in message

news:20041113061411.06002.00000322@mb-m21.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi, > My name is Andrea, and like the rest of you, have a ptsd diagonsis. However, I > also have a bipolar 1 w/psychotic features and panic disorder diagnoses as > well. > I’ve been through tons , unfortuately, tramautic expreinces in my life. And I > still have a hard time coping.  With some of my stuff, my therapist doesn’t > think I’m ready to deal with it, though it seems to be, for me extremely > pressing stuff.  It does bother me, but I don’t know what to do about it. I’m > not asking any questions, it’s just rather frustrating, in more ways than one. > Right now, she and I are workng on friendshps (I have a problem w/ relationshps > in general)..and that’s going no where fast.  I can’t seem to meet peole my own > age, but then again, walking out of my apt is hard.  I haven’t had a real life > friend in 9 years…and the all left me because my anxiety adn bipolar were so > bad, I stopped functioning and my parents pulled me out of school… > If it’s ok to say, not going into detail, most of my ptsd stuff is from all > sorts of abuse…and its’ hard, ’cause it’s messed me up so bad, I have never > dated, don’t think a sexual realtionship will ever work for me, etc.  I feel > like I’m crazy and on teh outside looking in…all the time.  I feel so left > out..and w/ teh bipolar, I’m looked at as though I’m a real loon of sorts. > It’s not  aplesant life > I’m on dsiablity (ssdi and ssi).  I cannot work, though I do voluinteer work a > couple of evening s aweek and want to increase my time there.  I’m also trying > to form a support hroup for peole w/ affective disorders..which is greatly > needed where I life.  Still, I feel useless and alone.  I can’t finish school > because I have no money and do not qualify for finacial aid..I only nmeed 3 > classes to graduate w/ my BS in Biology. > Well, I hope that’s enough to get me started, hope I can be helpful to you all, > Andrea

Response:

Question:

Debaser wrote: >  Once when me and my mates got mugged, the demon Ledge possessed me > and I fought like I’ve never fought before, trying to protect my mate. > I got punched to the ground eventually because I was against five > other people. >  Sanity was so long ago!

that’s scary.  i had my room broken into once in the dorms.  i also had someone break into my dad’s house while i was living there.  and i almost got mugged in Atlanta.  cost $70 damage to my bicycle, and to this day the wheel is still warped (even after repair).  i hate to say it, but i value my bicycle more than the black person who kicked it. i have a lot of flashbacks.  my sister says i have post traumatic stress disorder.  (she is a psychology major.) michael

Response:

|  Sanity was so long ago! My childhood MUST have been a false sanity. I look back and notice that the insanity that surrounded me made me a de facto insanity case at a very early age.

Response:

How many times must we die during this life?  I was whitelighting, walking down the street to the bakery, and this homeless guy that was shouting in the street had this orange ‘feeling’or something, around him.  If we are white light, does it mean that we can sense the ‘aura’ or whatever it is around other folk?  The demons made me very sick, but they say that I have to go to Hell sometimes to help Souls that are trapped there. And in Hell I take the shape of this wierd demon. But the only person I want to hurt when I am possessed by this demon is the vessel I am currently in.  I’m staying in white light now though. Not gonna come out of it for a while, I was close to the mental institute today and yesterday and last weekend when demons attacked me in the street.  Once when me and my mates got mugged, the demon Ledge possessed me and I fought like I’ve never fought before, trying to protect my mate. I got punched to the ground eventually because I was against five other people.  Sanity was so long ago!

Response:

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I really dont know any "online" sources for help, frankly I get most of my information here. Know though that it’s not the end of the world, there are medications to  help. Unfortunetly it is a trial and error process. I have been bipolar for 6 years and have been prescribed numerous drugs, some awful with little help. Curently I am doing very well on "my" mix. Were all different though, hopefuly you wont have to go through that and you get stabilized quickly on your meds. Try to get a good psychiatrist, I got mine from a referal from my md. I’m really happy with him too. BTW welcome to the group, Imho you have come to the right place for support. Hopefully and most definetly members will be of more help then me. All my best Robert Robert, thank you so much for the thoughtful response, and the support! I had a difficult time sleeping last night, and I couldn’t tell if it was from the medicine or just from the news. It is so reassuring for me to know this group is here. I am hoping the Lamictal will be enough, but from what I’ve read, it seems that a cocktail works best for most people. I have a great psychiatrist (she was very irritated that my other psychiatrists never thought to diagnose me with BP given my history of cycles and my family history! They, instead, dosed me out on Paxil for years, which may be why I may have rapid cycling now). Thank you so much for the warm welcome. I am so happy to have found you guys! Thanks, Sarah

Hi Sarah, Thanks for your reply, you made my day I was treated for a few years with anti-depressents only. I didnt have mood swings on them but that is a definete symptom of BP, I was depressed only with the ad’s my doc changed them so many times that he finaly threw up his hands and at our common suggestion he suggested a psychiatrist to me. It was a good decision also, thinking back on my life I think I have always been bipolar. I never realy fit in life and was always an under symptom though. But looking back I have always been mentaly ill. All my best Sarah Robert

Response:

Hi there, Thanks for the informatoin – I was actually thinking of going to the local group here, though I am a little afraid at this point. I accept that I will probably have to do it, though. I have a great psychologist and psychiatrist, so I have those support networks there, and that makes me feel better. Is a group as helpful as I have heard? Thanks! Sarah – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Sarah, there is lot of information out there on the internet and very good books to help. here is a link for the beginning with lots of information and help. http://www.dbsalliance.org/info/findsupport.html for more information you always can go to Google and just type in "Bipolar" and you will see how many links will appear. In addition depends where you leave they are real support groups out there which I found helpful. hope that helps a bit HappyPolarBear Hi, I have always known I have had some sort of mental "issue," and it runs in my family (3 suicides in our family history with the most recent genration being my father in 1981), but today I was "officially" diagnosed with Bipolar and put on Lamictal. I was hoping I could get some help in finding some good resources online to read. I just bought "An Unquiet Mind," and I am doing a lot of "searching" online. Anyway, any help/resources would be wonderful. Thanks a lot. -sarah

Response:

Welcome to ASDMM, Sarah! Please read the ASDMM FAQs for lots of good information and recommended links. My therapist says that groups are good for people without a lot of knowledge about bipolar.  He says I know too much and they would only frustrate me. So, IMO, the earlier you go to a group, the more benefit you will get.  And eventually, you will outgrow any group, because you are proactive in researching and treating this DD (damned disease). Nancy into the ether: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Hi there, Thanks for the informatoin – I was actually thinking of going to the local group here, though I am a little afraid at this point. I accept that I will probably have to do it, though. I have a great psychologist and psychiatrist, so I have those support networks there, and that makes me feel better. Is a group as helpful as I have heard? Thanks! Sarah Hi Sarah, there is lot of information out there on the internet and very good books to help. here is a link for the beginning with lots of information and help. http://www.dbsalliance.org/info/findsupport.html for more information you always can go to Google and just type in "Bipolar" and you will see how many links will appear. In addition depends where you leave they are real support groups out there which I found helpful. hope that helps a bit HappyPolarBear Hi, I have always known I have had some sort of mental "issue," and it runs in my family (3 suicides in our family history with the most recent genration being my father in 1981), but today I was "officially" diagnosed with Bipolar and put on Lamictal. I was hoping I could get some help in finding some good resources online to read. I just bought "An Unquiet Mind," and I am doing a lot of "searching" online. Anyway, any help/resources would be wonderful. Thanks a lot. -sarah

Response:

Thanks for the informatoin – I was actually thinking of going to the local group here, though I am a little afraid at this point. I accept that I will probably have to do it, though. I have a great psychologist and psychiatrist, so I have those support networks there, and that makes me feel better. Is a group as helpful as I have heard?

For many people, yes. I never miss a meeting if I can help it. I am a little biased as I am one of the facilitators and founders of our local DBSA group. I’ve made a lot of friends too. — Bob B                                            bobbyb (at) kokomo1.net "There are 10 to the 11 stars in the galaxy.  That used to be a *huge*  number. But it’s only a hundred billion.  It’s less than the national  deficit!  We used to call them astronomical numbers.  Now we should  call them economical numbers" -Richard Feynman

Response:

Welcome to ASDMM, Sarah! Please read the ASDMM FAQs for lots of good information and recommended links. My therapist says that groups are good for people without a lot of knowledge about bipolar.  He says I know too much and they would only frustrate me. So, IMO, the earlier you go to a group, the more benefit you will get.  And eventually, you will outgrow any group, because you are proactive in researching and treating this DD (damned disease).

heehheehehehehehhe DD I like that. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Nancy into the ether: Hi there, Thanks for the informatoin – I was actually thinking of going to the local group here, though I am a little afraid at this point. I accept that I will probably have to do it, though. I have a great psychologist and psychiatrist, so I have those support networks there, and that makes me feel better. Is a group as helpful as I have heard? Thanks! Sarah Hi Sarah, there is lot of information out there on the internet and very good books to help. here is a link for the beginning with lots of information and help. http://www.dbsalliance.org/info/findsupport.html for more information you always can go to Google and just type in "Bipolar" and you will see how many links will appear. In addition depends where you leave they are real support groups out there which I found helpful. hope that helps a bit HappyPolarBear Hi, I have always known I have had some sort of mental "issue," and it runs in my family (3 suicides in our family history with the most recent genration being my father in 1981), but today I was "officially" diagnosed with Bipolar and put on Lamictal. I was hoping I could get some help in finding some good resources online to read. I just bought "An Unquiet Mind," and I am doing a lot of "searching" online. Anyway, any help/resources would be wonderful. Thanks a lot. -sarah

Response:

It took over 3 years, actually, when i think about it, but it worked perfectly over 2 of them.  I don’t know if the drug stopped working for me or if my bipolarity just became too much for the lamictal to handle – or maybe I just couldn’t take a high enough dose to make it work (I got headaches).  The time it was working well, though, was the best time of my life.  Seriously – I finally experienced "stability".  It was wonderful.  It can take a while after you are medicated for things to return to normal. Your body and mind have been through a lot of emotional turmoil, and it can take a while for the damage to be repaired.   I think of it as a variation of post traumatic stress disorder.  We were traumatized by intense, irrational moods.  It takes a while to undo the physical damage to our nervous system and psyche – but it does repair with time.  I was told by a bp’er at a group meeting shortly after I was diagnosed that it takes about 3 years to get comfortable with being bipolar.  That seems to have been about how long it took me.  I felt better long before that, though.  Just not "right".  Now, I’ve got a pretty good idea when my feelings are "real" and when they are "bipolar". I have a high stress job, too.  And a fairly high stress life, right now. Some bp’ers can’t handle stress, but most can manage it to some extent (some thrive on it).  The trick is to prioritize, organize, and focus on what is important.  At work, that may mean sacrificing a promotion to keep stress down, or sharing job responsibilites with a co-worker.  You have to decide if you can talk to your supervisor about this, but if you can, then it might help with maintaining an even workload.  It’s also important to keep stress in your life to a minimum -or at least don’t add stress when your "moody". For example, my husband and I are selling our house and moving to a nicer area.  It’s going to be very stressful.  We considered how it would effect my moods, and decided that since I’m stable right now, we can handle it.  My husband is taking on a lot of the organizational tasks that would normally fall to me (I’m the detail oriented one in our marriage).  I’m not working overtime for a while, so I have time to focus on our house, and I’m going to take some vacation days.  We’re cutting our christmas trip to Canada (husband’s family) to less than a week, instead of 2 weeks.  Last year I was moody (that was before I switched off lamictal) and we decided to not put out christmas decorations.  That reduced my stress level so that I was able to get through the holidays without problems.  We’re also stretching out the sale of our house a bit – we’re giving ourselves over 2 months to get our house "show ready".  That will put our move into next spring, but it’s a trade-off. Thanks for your comments on my notes.  I like to help people. I was saying to Nancy, it’s sort of therapy for me.  It makes me feel more positive about being bipolar.  I decided to trade complete mood control for reduced med usage (and reduced side effects) and some mild mood swings, so occasionally I get depressed.  Helping others, or at least sincerly trying to, helps me counter the sense of worthlessness that comes with depression. Diane

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Thanks, Diane. May I ask how long you were you on Lamictal before you noticed break out moods? I will definitely check out that book – thanks. I haven’t thought much about lifestyle management yet – I have seen it as an important issue to deal with for managing BP. I am a little freaked out because I have a high stress job, but now that I think about it,  maybe my perception of the job after all of these years of being mis-diagnosed and untreated is higher stress than it really is. (? – I guess I am not really sure what "real" is anymore) Thanks for the tips – I have noticed your posts all throughout this forum, and they are all helpful, so I will keep looking for you. Sarah

Response:

Thanks, Diane. May I ask how long you were you on Lamictal before you noticed break out moods? I will definitely check out that book – thanks. I haven’t thought much about lifestyle management yet – I have seen it as an important issue to deal with for managing BP. I am a little freaked out because I have a high stress job, but now that I think about it,  maybe my perception of the job after all of these years of being mis-diagnosed and untreated is higher stress than it really is. (? – I guess I am not really sure what "real" is anymore) Thanks for the tips – I have noticed your posts all throughout this forum, and they are all helpful, so I will keep looking for you. Sarah – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My favorite bp’er book is "The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide".  It has information about the disorder (which you can get anywhere) but also a lot of practical advice about managing your lifestyle to reduce the symptoms of bipolarity.  IMO, lifestyle management is critical to surviving with bipolarity.  Getting enough sleep, managing stress, learning to recognize your moods and deal with incipient mood episodes… all of that can allow you to live a relatively normal life (whatever "normal" is anyway).  Good luck.  I had a lot of luck with lamictal, until I started having some breakout moods and switched off of it.  It’s a good drug.  It’s a pain having to build the dosage so slowly, but overall it’s one of the better options, imo. Diane Hi, I have always known I have had some sort of mental "issue," and it runs in my family (3 suicides in our family history with the most recent genration being my father in 1981), but today I was "officially" diagnosed with Bipolar and put on Lamictal. I was hoping I could get some help in finding some good resources online to read. I just bought "An Unquiet Mind," and I am doing a lot of "searching" online. Anyway, any help/resources would be wonderful. Thanks a lot. -sarah

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I really dont know any "online" sources for help, frankly I get most of my information here. Know though that it’s not the end of the world, there are medications to  help. Unfortunetly it is a trial and error process. I have been bipolar for 6 years and have been prescribed numerous drugs, some awful with little help. Curently I am doing very well on "my" mix. Were all different though, hopefuly you wont have to go through that and you get stabilized quickly on your meds. Try to get a good psychiatrist, I got mine from a referal from my md. I’m really happy with him too. BTW welcome to the group, Imho you have come to the right place for support. Hopefully and most definetly members will be of more help then me. All my best Robert

Robert, thank you so much for the thoughtful response, and the support! I had a difficult time sleeping last night, and I couldn’t tell if it was from the medicine or just from the news. It is so reassuring for me to know this group is here. I am hoping the Lamictal will be enough, but from what I’ve read, it seems that a cocktail works best for most people. I have a great psychiatrist (she was very irritated that my other psychiatrists never thought to diagnose me with BP given my history of cycles and my family history! They, instead, dosed me out on Paxil for years, which may be why I may have rapid cycling now). Thank you so much for the warm welcome. I am so happy to have found you guys! Thanks, Sarah

Response:

Hi Sarah, there is lot of information out there on the internet and very good books to help. here is a link for the beginning with lots of information and help. http://www.dbsalliance.org/info/findsupport.html for more information you always can go to Google and just type in "Bipolar" and you will see how many links will appear. In addition depends where you leave they are real support groups out there which I found helpful. hope that helps a bit HappyPolarBear

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi, I have always known I have had some sort of mental "issue," and it runs in my family (3 suicides in our family history with the most recent genration being my father in 1981), but today I was "officially" diagnosed with Bipolar and put on Lamictal. I was hoping I could get some help in finding some good resources online to read. I just bought "An Unquiet Mind," and I am doing a lot of "searching" online. Anyway, any help/resources would be wonderful. Thanks a lot. -sarah

Response:

My favorite bp’er book is "The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide".  It has information about the disorder (which you can get anywhere) but also a lot of practical advice about managing your lifestyle to reduce the symptoms of bipolarity.  IMO, lifestyle management is critical to surviving with bipolarity.  Getting enough sleep, managing stress, learning to recognize your moods and deal with incipient mood episodes… all of that can allow you to live a relatively normal life (whatever "normal" is anyway).  Good luck.  I had a lot of luck with lamictal, until I started having some breakout moods and switched off of it.  It’s a good drug.  It’s a pain having to build the dosage so slowly, but overall it’s one of the better options, imo. Diane

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi, I have always known I have had some sort of mental "issue," and it runs in my family (3 suicides in our family history with the most recent genration being my father in 1981), but today I was "officially" diagnosed with Bipolar and put on Lamictal. I was hoping I could get some help in finding some good resources online to read. I just bought "An Unquiet Mind," and I am doing a lot of "searching" online. Anyway, any help/resources would be wonderful. Thanks a lot. -sarah

Response:

Hi, I have always known I have had some sort of mental "issue," and it runs in my family (3 suicides in our family history with the most recent genration being my father in 1981), but today I was "officially" diagnosed with Bipolar and put on Lamictal. I was hoping I could get some help in finding some good resources online to read. I just bought "An Unquiet Mind," and I am doing a lot of "searching" online. Anyway, any help/resources would be wonderful. Thanks a lot. -sarah

I really dont know any "online" sources for help, frankly I get most of my information here. Know though that it’s not the end of the world, there are medications to  help. Unfortunetly it is a trial and error process. I have been bipolar for 6 years and have been prescribed numerous drugs, some awful with little help. Curently I am doing very well on "my" mix. Were all different though, hopefuly you wont have to go through that and you get stabilized quickly on your meds. Try to get a good psychiatrist, I got mine from a referal from my md. I’m really happy with him too. BTW welcome to the group, Imho you have come to the right place for support. Hopefully and most definetly members will be of more help then me. All my best Robert

Response:

Hi, I have always known I have had some sort of mental "issue," and it runs in my family (3 suicides in our family history with the most recent genration being my father in 1981), but today I was "officially" diagnosed with Bipolar and put on Lamictal. I was hoping I could get some help in finding some good resources online to read. I just bought "An Unquiet Mind," and I am doing a lot of "searching" online. Anyway, any help/resources would be wonderful. Thanks a lot. -sarah

Response:

Question:

Hi all, I’ve been struggling some lately, I’ve never had to post here before. I just got a new job, a new apartment and eventually plan to get off ssi and work full time. I also have been struggling with some traumatic memories that have been surfacing recently, and have started therapy for post-traumatic stress disorder. Presently, I’m taking 900 mgs Trileptal, 30 mgs Mirtazapine (Remeron), and 160 mgs Geodon, for a subtle seizure disorder and organic mood disorder. My doctor just increased the Geodon to 160. I have been having some difficulty with voices, paticularly with here in the apartment, but other places as well. I feel kind of enclosed here, and have been hearing voices coming from the other apartments, which I think are talking about me or to me. I also am getting the feeling of being monitored, or guided telepathically, perhaps by someone in the FBI or the police department. Within the past month or so, I felt like my family, and those around me have changed somehow, their behavior and actions were differerent somehow, doing things specifically directed towards me. This feeling about my family seems to have improved some, but I still feel some distress over some of the things that have happened, or that I perceive to have happened. Things are improving day by day, but I would appreciate any thoughts you might have that might make this a little easier to understand and cope with. Thanks, David

Response:

"David" <noem…@here.com> wrote in message

news:_HVcd.40570$%x.31023@okepread04… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi all, > I’ve been struggling some lately, I’ve never had to post here before. I just > got a new job, a new apartment and eventually plan to get off ssi and work > full time. I also have been struggling with some traumatic memories that > have been surfacing recently, and have started therapy for post-traumatic > stress disorder. Presently, I’m taking 900 mgs Trileptal, 30 mgs Mirtazapine > (Remeron), and 160 mgs Geodon, for a subtle seizure disorder and organic > mood disorder. My doctor just increased the Geodon to 160. > I have been having some difficulty with voices, paticularly with here in the > apartment, but other places as well. I feel kind of enclosed here, and have > been hearing voices coming from the other apartments, which I think are > talking about me or to me. I also am getting the feeling of being monitored, > or guided telepathically, perhaps by someone in the FBI or the police > department. Within the past month or so, I felt like my family, and those > around me have changed somehow, their behavior and actions were differerent > somehow, doing things specifically directed towards me. This feeling about > my family seems to have improved some, but I still feel some distress over > some of the things that have happened, or that I perceive to have happened. > Things are improving day by day, but I would appreciate any thoughts you > might have that might make this a little easier to understand and cope with. > Thanks, > David

This is pure, blatant and simple paranoia. Dwelling on stuff that is basically insignificant. When you occupy your mind with other stuff (put on the headphones and blast some music or whatever) the paranoia will settle down into something that you can cope with. Stop fretting, worrying – put the anxiety into perspective? So what if the WHOLE WORLD is talking about you?  So what if every time you go to the bathroom you are on prime time TV? Take a bow! Doff your hat!

Response:

I am finding it difficult, even now, to get myself back into reality, on firm ground, so to speak. The memories, of seeing invisible things, or things becoming invisible before my eyes is also difficult, and keeps me held back in that ‘world’, kind of like a momentum. Things have improved, today. I think the Geodon might be starting to take effect some, and I feel like I can see above the ground. I was off an antipsychotic completely for awhile as I was changing to new meds. The past year or so has been the most difficult I’ve ever experienced. Thanks for the quick reply.

Response:

"David" <noem…@here.com> wrote in message

news:p4Wcd.40573$%x.38902@okepread04… >I am finding it difficult, even now, to get myself back into reality, on >firm ground, so to speak. The memories, of seeing invisible things, or >things becoming invisible before my eyes is also difficult, and keeps me >held back in that ‘world’, kind of like a momentum. Things have improved, >today. I think the Geodon might be starting to take effect some, and I feel >like I can see above the ground. I was off an antipsychotic completely for >awhile as I was changing to new meds. > The past year or so has been the most difficult I’ve ever experienced. > Thanks for the quick reply.

If you want to ask me, Geodon is a wonder drug.  It stopped things for me fantasticaly.  I praise the guys who created it, it change my life. Troop

Response:

Thanks for the vote of confidence. I feel it starting to get into my system and is starting to provide some relief. I was on resperdol, but started having some trouble with the side effects. I read that geodon is also used to treat bipolar disorder. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> If you want to ask me, Geodon is a wonder drug.  It stopped things for me > fantasticaly.  I praise the guys who created it, it change my life. > Troop

Response:

Hi David, all I can say is that I experiance things that would have totally triggered all sorts of delussions and conspiracy theories back in the beginning. 1973-74. So the response we make to these unexplained things becomes less emotional and adrenilin driven with familiarity. To me this is deffinately an improvement. Today things roll off my back that would have totally flipped me out in the early years. Over time you get use to voices drifting through walls and hearing messages from the TV or hearing your own words being reflected back to you in the most macabe ways. People on the street seeming to know all about you. Delusions of grandeur can be triggered by these things. Extreme paranoia can be triggered by these things, FBI or secret groups watching you for example. Delusions of either being observed by psychics or actually being psychic your self (in some way,) are triggered by these same things. I get the same things still, but they have lost their grip on me, significantly. Meds never seemed to work for me, and I don’t use them. I take fish oil, gingko biloba, garlic pills, currently doing some cats claw {an herb). I keep some anti-anxiety pills around for when they are needed. Meditation can help, yoga, relaxation, light exercise,  I find reading extremely helpful as well when I see myself getting into a twit. I’m not above doing a couple shots of brandy. Others have their own "tricks" they emply, their own perspectives. The doctors pills work for many. For most maybe. Either through complete remission of symptoms or significantly ameliorating the symptoms. Damo

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Hi David I am on geodon also.  It did seem to take a long time to start working for me also.  If your symptoms and voices don’t improve withing 6 weeks, I would say try another medication. As far as coping, I try to replace a paranoid thought with a postive thought.  LIke the more I feel paranoid, the more I will enjoy this tv show.  Or the more people talk about me, the more I will enjoy my day. Try to focus on the positive. It takes some patience but this method of coping does work for me. take care penguin

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Question:

David wrote: >> a runcible spoon; > Like a spork with an edge then.

So it’s all of the cutlery in one?! > I want one!

Hell yeah! Rowe the one-handed diner — I am a hat of justice perched upon the heads of the wicked. Feel my soft felt lining and quiver, villain!

Response:

On Fri, 8 Oct 2004, St-Jennifer-of-the-Knife wrote: > a runcible spoon;

"A three-pronged fork, such as a pickle fork, curved like a spoon and having a cutting edge." – American Heritage Dictionary Like a spork with an edge then. I want one! Why that poem? I never understood those "childrens’" things. D. — "I don’t think that I can take it, cuz it took so long to bake it." …………………………………………………………. (C) 2004 TheDavid^TM | David, P.O. Box 21403, Louisville, KY 40221

Response:

On Fri, 8 Oct 2004, David wrote: > On Fri, 8 Oct 2004, St-Jennifer-of-the-Knife wrote: > > a runcible spoon; > "A three-pronged fork, such as a pickle fork, curved like a spoon and > having a cutting edge." – American Heritage Dictionary

Then again: http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a961108a.html Sigh. But I still like the idea of a Super Spork. D.

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Yesterday my husband was diagnosed with an autistic spectrum disorder and I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. Now I can’t get this out of my head: The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea In a beautiful pea-green boat: They took some honey, and plenty of money Wrapped up in a five-pound note. The Owl looked up to the stars above, And sang to a small guitar, "O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love, What a beautiful Pussy you are, You are, You are! What a beautiful Pussy you are!" Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl, How charmingly sweet you sing! Oh! let us be married; too long we have tarried: But what shall we do for a ring?" They sailed away, for a year and a day, To the land where the bong-tree grows; And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood, With a ring at the end of his nose, His nose, His nose, With a ring at the end of his nose. "Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will." So they took it away, and were married next day By the Turkey who lives on the hill. They dined on mince and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand on the edge of the sand They danced by the light of the moon, The moon, The moon, They danced by the light of the moon.

Response:

Question:

Katz Heitmann wrote: > Peter wrote: > > Nancy wrote: > >>I’m not sure that we have much of a sense of humor as I cannot > >>remember ever hearing a PTSD joke. :/ > > Lucas springs to mind! > Here’s saying that is funny

<snip jokes> That "automated phone message" cracks me up! Thanks. Peter

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A dead rat lies on the road next to a dead lawyer. The difference? There are skid marks in front of the rat. ‘You smug faced crowds with kindling eye who cheer when soldier lads march by sneak home and pray you’ll never know the Hell where youth and laughter go’                        Siegfried Sassoon

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Hi Ya Folks             I am going to a new support type group for people with ptsd. Are there any tasteful jokes out there about us.                                  Geoff

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Hi Geoff! >             I am going to a new support type group for people with >             ptsd. Are > there any tasteful jokes out there about us.

I’m not sure that we have much of a sense of humor as I cannot remember ever hearing a PTSD joke. :/ Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy

Response:

Nancy wrote: > Hi Geoff! > >             I am going to a new support type group for people with > >             ptsd. Are > > there any tasteful jokes out there about us. > I’m not sure that we have much of a sense of humor as I cannot remember > ever hearing a PTSD joke. :/

Peter Lucas springs to mind! > Smile and there will be something to smile about!

8^) Pete

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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Peter wrote: > Nancy wrote: >>Hi Geoff! >>>            I am going to a new support type group for people with >>>            ptsd. Are >>>there any tasteful jokes out there about us. >>I’m not sure that we have much of a sense of humor as I cannot > remember >>ever hearing a PTSD joke. :/ > Peter Lucas springs to mind! >>Smile and there will be something to smile about! > 8^) > Pete

Here’s saying that is funny just because everyone is out to get you is no reason to be paranoid I thought I had a handle on life until the handle fell off No matter how bad things get they can always get even worse Trusting people can get you crucified I haven’t lost my marbles I just can’t find them people like you are why people like me need medication I thought I was going crazy so I packed light knowing it would be a short trip I stopped talking to myself out of boredoom Maybe the admission that you might be crazy proves that you might have some sanity left I’d better be crazy or I have a lot of explaining to do Do you think you could plead not guilty by reason of stupidity Normality is highly overrated. we are living in an idiocracy rule by stupid people I say the court systems are twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty trying to decide who has the better lawyer Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.   If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until a representative comes on the line. If you are dyslexic, press 696969696969. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone, date of birth, social security number and your mother’s maiden name. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won’t be crazy forever. If you have a masochistic complex, please press "0" for the operator. There are 200 calls ahead of you. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer. If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.’

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Question:

Full study at: http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/291/21/2639

Wrong link. Should be http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/291/21/2581 — The charter is available at:

Question:

<— In some cases, the condition may be chronic.   Occasionally, the illness doesn’t show up until years after the traumatic event.

Or the PTSD start at such a young age that the person most likely doesn’t know that something is wrong. You cannot recollect how it was before the traumatic events. People with PTSD can be helped by medications and carefully targeted psychotherapy.

*Carefully* is the word ! There are therapies out there that scare the sh*t out of you. I have had some very weird experiences with ‘new age’ therapies You know when you don’t know what is wrong with you the most important thing is to get a proper diagnose. An was my first therapist who wnated to make a diagnose first before starting any treatment. There are full blown idiots out there who will call themselves ‘therapists’ . It is a shame what they can cause. end vent. Love from Anna — The charter is available at: