Question:
* i would really appreciate some input from other did people, on your *first reactions, feelings, friends and families reactions. i am frightened *yet relieved, about my new diagnosis. thanks, Holly and *Friends. it gets better with time holly and friends
Response:
i would really appreciate some input from other did people, on your first reactions, feelings, friends and families reactions. i am frightened yet relieved, about my new diagnosis. thanks, Holly and Friends.
Response:
i would really appreciate some input from other did people, on your first reactions, feelings, friends and families reactions. i am frightened yet relieved, about my new diagnosis. thanks, Holly and Friends.
hi hi, we’re new too, well, just newly diagnosed and just now starting to tell people. At first, the idea sickened me, as if some gross label was being carved into my forehead… well, now I know that was a bit extreme, but for awhile I didn’t want to tell anybody. The first thing I did was cancel all appts with my therapist and started looking for a new one. That was really helpful… -not- When I did finally tell someone it was because I knew he was dating a DID person and figured he must be accepting, he was and is now one of my biggest supporters. The next step was to get the courage to let him tell his SO about me (she knew me but didn’t know I was DID). I couldn’t get myself to tell her, so he agreed to tell her while I was there. She took it very well and sort of took me under her wing a bit, since she’d been dealing with it for awhile. In fact, she’s the one who told me about a.s.dissoc. 
After reading here for awhile I finally found another therapist that I sort of clicked with and asked her what she knows about dissociation, that led into feeling safe enough to tell her and start working with her. Then I started reading here and still do read daily and occassionally we post and are starting to get more comfortable with that. It helps to know where others are and where they’ve been. Then I started telling other friends, just offhand to see how they would respond. Mostly it’s been shock, some have said it doesn’t surprise them, a couple have said, yeah me too., a couple have taken a step back from me and said ‘how can you be sure?’ *sigh* but overall, it’s been ok. btw, it seems -most- singletons don’t have any idea where to start in supporting us on this issue, but then, they don’t know what it’s like, so I give them the benefit of the doubt and the space they need to feel comfortable. Then, just a couple of weeks ago, I took the really big plunge and told my husband… well, sort of. :) I told him that my therapist -thinks- I’m dissociative and that dissociation is a scale from normal daydreaming to DID(MPD). I didn’t exactly tell him that I’m multiple, but we’re going with little steps here. :) Surprisingly enough, he was very supportive, much more so than he usually is, and it was almost as if the information explained some things that he’d been wondering about himself. so anyway, that’s where we are… :) The Group (Michelle, Katrina, Dani, Shelley and the rest)
Response:
hi Holly and friends, learning of the diagnosis *is* scary – or was a lot for me. i didn’t know who all of these other people were. and i’d ask myself if i’m "me" or just a part of somebody else that i don’t know. not knowing the inside people scared me cause i didn’t know what they might say or do. the thoughts of not being in control really scared me a lot. at the same time, when i finally accepted the diagnosis, it was somewhat of a relief because it explained a lot of things… like memory loss, lost time, finding items that i didn’t ever remember buying… stuff like that. i’ve never told anyone in my family, so i’m no help there. i did tell one good friend about it and her first reaction was amazement, then curiosity, so we had an intelligent discussion about what it is, how it’s caused (in my case, anyway), and some of the effects of DID. Our relationship hasn’t changed at all – at least that i can see. i’d be careful about who to tell – some people have preconceived ideas about multiplicity and can’t or won’t be "educated" about what it really is and means. could be that i’m just paranoid cause i’m not real close to that many people and trust even fewer (i’ve, obviously, still got a long, long way to go). i hope anybody you choose to tell will be supportive of you. welcome to asd and come back often. sandy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Newsgroups: alt.support.dissociation i would really appreciate some input from other did people, on your first reactions, feelings, friends and families reactions. i am frightened yet relieved, about my new diagnosis. thanks, Holly and Friends.
Response:
My first reaction was that my therp was nuts. I thought, "Well, I haven’t had that diagnoses yet," because like so many others I had just about every other possible diagnoses and combination of diagnoses there was. I didn’t entirely believe it until I started to read books about it. Then I said, "Wow, you mean not everybody lives this way?" I had thought everyone lost time and couldn’t control things that they said or did at times. Although I always knew I was somehow different from everyone else…..I supppose I was relieved too. It explained so much. Isn’t it funny how knowing your situation has a name can be so comforting sometimes? Boy, I’m wordy tonight….. Clover – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – i would really appreciate some input from other did people, on your first reactions, feelings, friends and families reactions. i am frightened yet relieved, about my new diagnosis. thanks, Holly and Friends.
Response:
i would really appreciate some input from other did people, on your first reactions, feelings, friends and families reactions. i am frightened yet relieved, about my new diagnosis. thanks, Holly and Friends.
Ah, a trip down memory lane…! {Excuse the sarcasm and bitter feelings…} I’ve been wrestling with this diagnosis for about a year, Holly. Well, maybe it’s not the *diagnosis* I’m wrestling with, more like the problems that DID points to, you know? I accept the diagnosis. It’s right. But there’s the repressed memories, the willingness to "give up", the automatic reflexes of passivity and submission, the desire to *avoid* taking control of my life. It’s these problems that are hard, not the diagnosis. My family of origin and I haven’t spoken in oh let’s see… 6 years. My mom denies it all. My sister refuses to take sides and, by this decision, fails to support me. So they don’t know my diagnosis. My SO has been unbelievably supportive and solid, in spite of all the stress. She was distant for several months and still remains hesitant. we started couples therapy a month ortwo ago. My daughter knows I get *something* and she knows sometimes it’s memories, but she’s only 12 and not too interested in "getting in my head". Thank goodness! In my head is not such a calm place to be! My job knows I have PTSD but that’s all. My supervisors are compassionate but distant. I’m sure it boils down to "get better, do a good job, we’ll support you as far as we can…" My diagnosis came up in a bacwards sort of way. I had been journaling about retriving memories, finding the child "parts" inside myself, and finding out about stuff I had repressed for a few years before my therp offered me her diagnositc thoughts. My response was sort of, "So what. How does this help me orh ow does it help you in y our therapy with me?" My answer to that question is mainly one of *hope* — you probably know that DID responds better to therapy than most mental health disorders. Whew! worn out by this response. hope it helps you. Be safe, Eudora * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * We lay down the road in the walking. Joan Halifax * * Tears can make a river to take you somewhere new. Eudora * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Response:
i would really appreciate some input from other did people, on your first reactions, feelings, friends and families reactions. i am frightened yet relieved, about my new diagnosis. thanks, Holly and Friends.
Oh, I missed this one, I have been missing lots of posts 
Ah, a trip down memory lane…! {Excuse the sarcasm and bitter feelings…}
Understood and shared. I’ve been wrestling with this diagnosis for about a year, Holly. Well, maybe it’s not the *diagnosis* I’m wrestling with, more like the problems that DID points to, you know? I accept the diagnosis. It’s right. But there’s the repressed memories, the willingness to "give up", the automatic reflexes of passivity and submission, the desire to *avoid* taking control of my life. It’s these problems that are hard, not the diagnosis.
You put things so well Eudora. Yes, not the diagnosis per se, as it certainly cleared up 10 years of mis-diagnosis and therapists wondering "gee why doesnt she ever get better?" It is the implications of the diagnosis and the resulting problems that are difficult. My family of origin and I haven’t spoken in oh let’s see… 6 years. My mom denies it all. My sister refuses to take sides and, by this decision, fails to support me. So they don’t know my diagnosis.
Sorry Eudora. I think this happens to so many of us. By our very existence and our ever-growing knowledge of "what it was really like", we are a threat to those whom we always hoped would take care of us. They were never there for us before and they sure are not now. My SO has been unbelievably supportive and solid, in spite of all the stress. She was distant for several months and still remains hesitant. we started couples therapy a month ortwo ago. My daughter knows I get *something* and she knows sometimes it’s memories, but she’s only 12 and not too interested in "getting in my head". Thank goodness! In my head is not such a calm place to be!
Hope the couple therapy helps Eudora. We have no marriage now but the boys are great. They accept things as they are, love me "no matter what" and are glad I am only rarely in the hospital. Not for a long time now. My job knows I have PTSD but that’s all. My supervisors are compassionate but distant. I’m sure it boils down to "get better, do a good job, we’ll support you as far as we can…"
THe distance is hard I would imagine. I thought the medical field would be more understanding but I find it is not. My diagnosis came up in a bacwards sort of way. I had been journaling about retriving memories, finding the child "parts" inside myself, and finding out about stuff I had repressed for a few years before my therp offered me her diagnositc thoughts. My response was sort of, "So what. How does this help me orh ow does it help you in y our therapy with me?"
We were in the hospital when my former therapist called in a specialist in DID and she used hypnosis and voila! What had been suspected was confirmed. Sounds simple but was quite annoying to me, as I "knew" I had always had "imaginary friends" but did not feel like sharing them. But they had ideas of their own. Some were ready to begin to talk. Right place at the right time. My answer to that question is mainly one of *hope* — you probably know that DID responds better to therapy than most mental health disorders. Whew! worn out by this response. hope it helps you.
Oh well, I know it does respond to therapy but we are not in therapy right now and that makes us feel rather lost. been feeling tired and wondering if it’s worth it, but Holly, I know deep down it is. Some days are just harder than others. Thanks Eudora, Allison Rose — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:
Response:
i would really appreciate some input from other did people, on your first reactions, feelings, friends and families reactions. i am frightened yet relieved, about my new diagnosis. thanks, Holly and Friends.
Welcome! Great question, topic. Let’s see. I guess the first time it was mentioned was in the mid eighties. My therapist kind of brought it up cautiously and in a questioning manner. The next week I was ‘cured’ and quit therapy About ten years later my SO had an affair so I went back into therapy cause I was panicking and having some serious PTSD problems. I kind of told my therapist that I was multiple, but I called it psychotic and sick. At first I refused to let him tell me I was multiple. I would let him call it ‘dissociated’, ‘abused’, ‘PTSD’, and I really pushed for ‘crazy’. After about two years in therapy I decided that maybe none of these labels fit as well as multiple. I told my mother (one of my perps) kind of in passing, she brought up false memory stuff and I let her have it full tilt with everything I’ve learned about this lame excuse of perps to get out of being responsible (I’m also a therapist so I could really overwhelm her with my knowledge) I don’t really have a relationship with my mother so I haven’t brought it up since. I mentioned it to one of my four siblings and she kind of validated that it made sense to her. I don’t really have a relationship with most of the other people in my family so they don’t know. (none of their business) I’ve only told just a very few people otherwise of this label and they have all been very supportive, if baffled. Once I educated them abit they were fine with it. Of course I tell very few people and I am very careful what I say. (I’d guess maybe ten people in real know, other than therapists. Here, everyone knows:) I told my SO of sixteen years and he said ‘ok, but I still love you so it doesn’t matter’. He’s been great as he learns more about all of this The biggest problem we had was that he was so supportive it was minimizing (as in, I don’t care what happened to you as a child because I love you just the way you are now) He didn’t know how to be supportive so he made light of it and dismissed it as ‘no big deal’ We had about two years of couples therapy and he’s great! I’ve pretty much decided that I’m multiple (I don’t consider it a disorder to be multiple btw) and I have many many problems with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and as a result of the childhood abuse. I also have problems related to the multiplicity but once we all learn to work together more cooperatively they should be ok. I no longer really worry about being multiple or not. I’ve tried telling the others inside to go away or that they don’t exist and they just laugh It took me at least two years of intense therapy to be able to accept that I was multiple and another two years of intense therapy to get where I am in accepting it. (not only is this my unique reaction, but it fluctuates wildly. If you ask me all of this tomorrow I might give you a completely different answer, ah dissociation:) To me, the disbelief is just part of the dissociation doing its job. If I could accept it I wouldn’t need the dissociation! I used to fight it all the time, but I’ve realized that it will just be as it is so I might as well accept it and use my energies elsewhere. (now if I could just remember this on a regular basis and follow it I agree that this is all very scarey and bizarre, I am glad you are here and I hope the group can help you and be supportive Remember to relax and take your time. It does seem to be true that in order to go forward in healing you have to go slow (I don’t like it but it seems true) so remember to breathe, be safe, and be proud of your system for finding a way to survive!!!!! Rainbow Colors (Jill) — I choose to post non-anon because my abusers are afraid. They would have to admit something happened in order to confront me; this they will never do. They are the only people who will be upset if they know who I am, and they are too afraid to admit to what they did. Black of Rainbow Colors
Response:
i’m not diagnosed, or multiple, but i am dissociative. a few people in real life know, and i haven’t had a bad experience with it yet. i do switch, but so far as i know, there’s only one other, she’s six, and so i guess it isn’t as extreme as what some ppl go through. either way, my so knows, he kind of realized along with me and told me what was going on, and he’s been wonderfully supportive. i can switch around him and everything is fine. he’s the only person i switch openly with. my therp knows, and that was tough. i’ve only been seeing her since feb., but she’s worked with dissociation and multiples and that helped. she gave me major validation. i told her kind of at the end of one session, and was terrified afterwards. next session i actually was able to tell her i how i felt, and she told me over and over "you’re not crazy" and those were wonderful words. we talk about it sometimes, but it’s far from the main focus of therp. a couple of friends kind of know. i have an rl friend who is integrated, and i’ve mentioned it to her, and she’s fine with it. sometime soon i want to talk to her about stuff, but i haven’t gotten the nerve yet. the biggie for me was telling my mom, which i did in the middle of may. mom and i are close, but it was still scary. she was driving me from school to home (3 hr. drive) and i told her, terrified she’d drive the car off the highway. 
i explained, did a lot of leading up to it, etc, and she was supportive too. completely accepting, curious, etc. couldn’t even understand why i thought she’d freak out. it was a major huge big relief. i haven’t switched around her, or even told her that i’m feeling switchy, but maybe i’ll get there. maybe not. for now, jenny wants to be out and have mommy take care of her, and we’re both scared of it too. so we’re settling for things like letting her be out but not say anything if we’re somewhere we can be quiet and then if i need to talk, i’llcome out and deal with it. or when we went to the store for munchies the other night, jenny was kinda picking stuff out, and peeking out, but i was still in control. it’s hard, but we’re managing. (when i told mom, i told her that she could tell dad, and he could ask questions or whatever, but that i couldn’t go through telling again quite yet. just too much. and dad and i aren’t as close as mom and i. he hasn’t really brought it up with me, but he didn’t have a bad reaction either.) i’ve been really lucky with having so many positive experiences… i’m very selective about people in general, maybe that has something to do wth it. sorry to get so long winded. –nymsa
Response:
Hello Holly and Friends i would really appreciate some input from other did people, on your first reactions, feelings, friends and families reactions. i am frightened yet relieved, about my new diagnosis. thanks, Holly and Friends.
We were not amazed, overwhelmed or depressed. You see we have been this way for an awful long time and putting a name, an handle on it made very little difference to how we feel. We do feel compartmentalised though and try, as much as is possible for us, to avoid those feelings. We see DID as DIC, condition rather than disorder. We most certainly don’t consider ourselves as mentally inate or incapacitated. peace form our pieces cedric et al. Hamilton, New Zealand
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