Question:
> Plus, I am very tired. Thank you for indulging me and providing this > opportunity .. > econobox.
Go for it gal. Any bad experience is the worst one if you are the one it is happening with and not someone else. I know a lot of people who still sleep with their clothes on who were in the Northridge earthquake, some vet friends having nightmares about that who never had PTSD from Vietnam, and Nam was worse, but Nam is over and earthquakes can happen again. I don’t know. I > mix my distrust into myself as well, you can imagine why I’d distrust > professionals. and they could use this against me by simply mentioning > that I have a trust issue … *&#%!!!!! Them! thank you . :)
People had to prove that they were worthy to be trusted as I have had too many bad eperiences with counterfeits without a conscience and it is wise to have your own mind and not blind trust or putting yourself at the mercy of whoever has those degrees etc. that say nothing about the character of the individual. Caution may be a better word for it and today you have every reason to go with your feelings more than letting people mess with your head who do not have a track record of being the kind of folks who do not abuse trust. God alone, since people will let your down no matter who they are or how well meaning, only liars are perfect without defects. > P.p.s. Do not read too much into this.
Don’t worry about it, best advice for free that a shrink would charge you by the hour for and medicate. Crazy Lou Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Hark. >Have my bio in a websight that may help, traces a stress disorder that >went untreated after Vietnam and evolved into schizophrenia, was treated >for all the wrong things that the experts know so much about and really >messed me up to the point where I was little more than a zombie by the >time they were done fooling around with different drugs and fried some >brain cells in the process, have been fine since telling these people >what to do with all their drugs and experiments for brain disorders as if >it were a disease, but Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and schizophrenia >are both related and also related to trauma and not what our granparents >were packing in their jeans, at least this is the majority who are >diagnosed with schizophrenia.
I have been to your site which was one of the first things I did while lurking here. I am not a vet, but I believe that PTSD might be something that gets triggered in my case, if I in deed have a case of SZ, which a fine recent example might be when my now ex (not then) slammed his hands into my chest. The impact of which knocked me backward over the back of a loveseat where I landed on its seat on my rump with my legs nearly swinging me into a rear-rolling somersault. … yadda-yadda. I gab too much, but the point being is that that experience triggered flashbacks of horrid assault experiences brought on by another improper choice in a lover. That is hardly war, and I don’t mean to diminish your experiences involving murder, torture, hardcore weaponry etc.. all the terrors of combat. I merely mean to say that I get crushed too easily because I give way too much trust and what I think is "love." So, then I begin to investigate mental illness, and I begin to think the ex had issues as well. I want to be understanding, which I am led to agree with you on your next point…: >What has been so weird in my case is that things overlapped into the >paranormal which is documented by some friends in the news media (KTLA- 5 >TV Morning News Los Angeles) and have six years of interactions on video. >I did not know one voice from another and had a whole lot of them talking >stuff to me, but the best medicine I ever took was a healthy dose of >forgiveness towards all and starting with those I hated the most, but >this is a process and not a project, all a day by day thing and stronger >day by day.
forgiveness. I forgive both of my exes. I had to hate them first in order avoid a noxious cycle, but after the hate I give cautious forgiveness. Cautious because I do not wish to allow myself to be seduced into yet another cycle. Hence, it would appear that I will never forget. I cannot forgive and forget. I do not believe in that saying, but I do believe in not holding grudges and carrying chips on my shoulders. … but I am leary of trust and so-called "love." Does this make sense? I’m writing too much … – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->People can be a real pain in the bleep, had hyper pentecostal people >trying to do exorcisms on me, others thinking I was the anti-christ and >still others saying I was a "Nephilim" that were part angel and part >human in the time of Noah and before, Goliath was one of these and some >who are into prophecy etc. say that the anti-christ will be a Nephilim >and not entirely human, but I was accused of being all these things and >just have to laugh at the stupidity of the people who claim to know so >much, often wondering who needs help the most, sheep or their shepherds >who only produce more of themselves and their mentality, but only piss in >the well and offer to people as a health drink or something, but my own >family has been more help to me than any other source, love and patience >go a very long way towards healing which is a process, always a process >and good stuff happens along the way if we are not feeding on junk food >or negative stuff that keeps us a slave in our own head. >It took five years for me to spill my guts about war and the after >affects in having to deal with rejection at home and betrayed by >leadership which did a whole lot of damage and took years and years to >get past it all and being able to stand on my own with my own mind to >think with and not a parrot or clone of any other, but takes a lot of >positive stuff and balls to swim upstream and make a stand, not afraid to >tell the world to kiss your ass if they try to control you or govern how >you think as if your life with turn to crap without their guidance >(meaning religious leaders playing supersaint or doctors who keep you >depending on them while robbing you of your own will and common sense ) >really a shame how many veteran friends are kept in altered states with >drugs, since people in altered states are people wide open to suggestion >and abuse and can even be convinced that a chicken has lips. >Free to use whatever may help on a website I often regret putting >togeather as it can isolate us from people after spilling our guts and >telling it all, but it makes us honest in a world of great pretenders who >play the role while not even in the sript. Hang tough
Please don’t feel isolated. I think not enough people delve deep inside themselves and would much prefer to point fingers elsewhere. Which is to say that I might be blameshifting my mental wanderings on bad experiences, but I see that were I perceptive enough, I might be more understanding. … well. That’s not very clear, because I lack articulation when it comes to intense feelings… Plus, I am very tired. Thank you for indulging me and providing this opportunity .. econobox. P.s. I wasn’t sure I wanted to post this. I took a break. I’m back to say that I am a highly suspicious person. .. I smell things. that no one else smells.. twice, a very good friend worked very hard to prove that I was right. twice I prevented a fire. I don’t know. I mix my distrust into myself as well, you can imagine why I’d distrust professionals. and they could use this against me by simply mentioning that I have a trust issue … *&#%!!!!! Them! thank you . :) P.p.s. Do not read too much into this. This is but an overview and the rantings of a , someone who rants. The actual events are more like the insides of a gulf ball what with the tanglings of many rubberbands wrapped around an orb. TRULY THE END, NOW!! (c: >Lou Talley >http://
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
In article <7ti73b$le…@nnrp1.deja.com>, – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text - econo…@my-deja.com wrote: > Thereafter, I felt guilty over questioning my faith, and hid behind > shyness and introversion. > I suppose that episode counts as hearing voices. Otherwise, I hear my > own nagging voice in my head 24/7 (I constantly qualify my statements > and struggle to avoid sharing my "buts" with others) unless I sleep or > am deeply engaged in conversation with a friend (yes, a real flesh and > blood friend, but my "but"ing nature tends to make me argumentative > because I can see opposing viewpoints and relish in devil advocacy. > All this is probably neither here nor there. I am not asking for a > diagnosis. I am asking if it is possible to live drug-free (no > ’scripts/ no nothing) as a very mild sz? Are there degrees to sz? > Anybody here doing this now? Please share. Thank you. > econobox.
=========== Hark. Have my bio in a websight that may help, traces a stress disorder that went untreated after Vietnam and evolved into schizophrenia, was treated for all the wrong things that the experts know so much about and really messed me up to the point where I was little more than a zombie by the time they were done fooling around with different drugs and fried some brain cells in the process, have been fine since telling these people what to do with all their drugs and experiments for brain disorders as if it were a disease, but Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and schizophrenia are both related and also related to trauma and not what our granparents were packing in their jeans, at least this is the majority who are diagnosed with schizophrenia. What has been so weird in my case is that things overlapped into the paranormal which is documented by some friends in the news media (KTLA-5 TV Morning News Los Angeles) and have six years of interactions on video. I did not know one voice from another and had a whole lot of them talking stuff to me, but the best medicine I ever took was a healthy dose of forgiveness towards all and starting with those I hated the most, but this is a process and not a project, all a day by day thing and stronger day by day. People can be a real pain in the bleep, had hyper pentecostal people trying to do exorcisms on me, others thinking I was the anti-christ and still others saying I was a "Nephilim" that were part angel and part human in the time of Noah and before, Goliath was one of these and some who are into prophecy etc. say that the anti-christ will be a Nephilim and not entirely human, but I was accused of being all these things and just have to laugh at the stupidity of the people who claim to know so much, often wondering who needs help the most, sheep or their shepherds who only produce more of themselves and their mentality, but only piss in the well and offer to people as a health drink or something, but my own family has been more help to me than any other source, love and patience go a very long way towards healing which is a process, always a process and good stuff happens along the way if we are not feeding on junk food or negative stuff that keeps us a slave in our own head. It took five years for me to spill my guts about war and the after affects in having to deal with rejection at home and betrayed by leadership which did a whole lot of damage and took years and years to get past it all and being able to stand on my own with my own mind to think with and not a parrot or clone of any other, but takes a lot of positive stuff and balls to swim upstream and make a stand, not afraid to tell the world to kiss your ass if they try to control you or govern how you think as if your life with turn to crap without their guidance (meaning religious leaders playing supersaint or doctors who keep you depending on them while robbing you of your own will and common sense ) really a shame how many veteran friends are kept in altered states with drugs, since people in altered states are people wide open to suggestion and abuse and can even be convinced that a chicken has lips. Free to use whatever may help on a website I often regret putting togeather as it can isolate us from people after spilling our guts and telling it all, but it makes us honest in a world of great pretenders who play the role while not even in the sript. Hang tough Lou Talley http://www.grizzadam.com Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
I refused drugs for about 6 months. I found I cannot make it without them. I have thought about trying going off again but am afraid of what would happen. I already know that my meds had to be increased because I was getting sick again. Good luck to whatever you choose to do. Put your trust in God Your friend Girl
Response:
Hi Limefire. I read your post up there a ways and visited your website via the convienient clik space. It’s not funny all. I’ve decided when considering the diffrent outlooks that for people like me..and apparently you….the real story is liberty or oppression because of the medical outlook. I never had any problm taking drugs. But after that attempted incarceration they popped on me in 97 the picture became real clear. Now….of course…..I will fight till I die to peserve my own autonomy in the "real" world as I do in the other dimension we are all who are diagnosised as schizo experiance. I regret ever talking to them. If I had known the net earlier I might not have spilled the beans. Just told them I heard "voices" and the other mundane stuff and shared my daily "struggles and victories" crap with them.I had no idea how nuts they get when you tell them about the symptoms. Probably have gone right on taking the pills too. My diagnosis goes back to 74. Being as I had these experiances before the new drugs…during the new drugs but not as graphic…and after the new drugs I can do wthout the mind pills no problemo. I’m afraid to tell this to others Lime but between you and me we understand. Hide. Don’t let them catch you. And above all don’t tell them anything other then daily striff stuff. If you get momentarily engaged by them. Psyche docs are NOT a support system. This group here is a support system. For example. And I’m very pleased for all those who find relief in drugs and think they can control the psyche Docs.I have to hide or they’ll get me and deprive me of my humanity. Now that they know. Damodara
Response:
damod…@webtv.net wrote: > I’m afraid to tell this to others Lime but between you and me we > understand. Hide. Don’t let them catch you. And above all don’t tell > them anything other then daily striff stuff. If you get momentarily > engaged by them. Psyche docs are NOT a support system.
just a quick note on psych docs and mind control ———- :}} i just wanted to say that i was committed against my will in 1983… and it was hell…. total hell….. i lived in terror of the psych field for decades after……… actually that was the final experience that finally convinced me that all ‘normal’ people were fucking PSYCHO and that i needed to stay as far away from them as i possibly ever could…………… i want to comment that my experience with the mental health field was *considerably* different this time around, in the late 90’s….. i think with the success of the new medicines (sorry guys) at least for some, doctors are finally accepting what we have as a *real* disease…. not something mysterious that they were ‘failing’ to find a cure for, and thus we made them look really bad so they hated us…. it was so easy to let people see ‘mental illness’ as weak character, or non-compliance, becuase they didnt wanna admit that they fucking didnt know how to cure us!!!!!!!! anyway, i think the stigma and all that is really starting to go away a bit.. im sure working to do my part at that… anyway i do fully understand your terror at the thought of being under their power and support you in that… but i pray for the day when the stigma is gone and all of us dont have to worry about that crapp any more………. anna This group here > is a support system. For example. > And I’m very pleased for all those who find relief in drugs and think > they can control the psyche Docs.I have to hide or they’ll get me and > deprive me of my humanity. > Now that they know. > Damodara
– "blessed am i to dwell in this beautiful temple" ~~~~~~~~~ rainbows ~~~~~~~~~~
Response:
Hi Econobox I don’t o the drugs. When I wasfirst dagnosed they didn’t have all the fancy pills like they do now. I enjoyed the phenobarbitol alot. It let me think. Then couple years ago for a couple years I was being given the drug store tour. Anyway….yeah they all work for a while until your systm compnsates and it’s a long story of getting your medication adjusted and experiancing feelings of powerlessness because of that drug orientation. For me it was like that. Then during a switch of doctors I thought I shouldn’t take prescription drugs unlss I was under a doctors care. And the new doctor tryed to incarcerate me because of that. And that did it for me. I m not their "thing". I’ve managed without medical support before. And I certainly won’t manage with their support. So. I manage. Witout drugs. Take the drugs and they’ll never let you choose for yourself again. Maybe. Thats what I got. I find things are more predictable without drugs. Your system compensates for the chemical imbalance the drug produce in your chemical imbalance anyway. And….before all these new crazy pills I managed. And I don’t take the phenobarbitol either. I’ve been makinga lot of progress. No drugs here Econo. I find other support systems. Damodara P.S. Yoga and medittion I find helpful and chiropractic has a very high good name with emotional/mental problems. These are some things I use.
Response:
In article <spiritus-ya02408000R0710991518190…@news.supernews.com>, spiri…@sanctus.org (Spiritus) wrote: > Maybe God really did tell you to be a teacher,,, why do you think that’s a > signe of SZ?
Circa seventy-something, God did tell me to be a teacher. In the eighties, I did see a UFO. Same decade, I worked really hard at reading people’s minds because I had done it once already. Back to the seventies, I studied people to make them do silly things like pick their noses. But about God telling me to be a teacher, it has to do with faith. Where is the line drawn between hallucination and divine intervention? I watched my mother-in-law die from cancer. She was a devout born- againer. Morphine helped her pain, and she saw "WOW"s everywhere. This made her smile. I think the WOWs were angels. I didn’t see them, but I felt them because I am very susceptible to suggestions. I had goosebumps without morphine! > As far as living off of drugs I’ve done it for years, if you add together > all the times I’ve gone off my meds. You only need meds if your symptoms > are driving you crazy and making it so you can’t function. If you feel you > have a mild case of SZ, given that "mild" is the operative word, why even > consider meds? Be happy it’s not worse, enjoy your life. > sp
I am not considering meds. I am considering Thai Chi. :) Seriously. I met someone from the military who performed all these self-defense moves on me. One move, he told me he could break my arms into three pieces each. I asked how to get out of it. He said I couldn’t. (Funny, he was a perfect stranger, and I let him do this to me. Anyway, that wasn’t Thai Chi, it was something else. He was soo cool and mellow and mature for a 24 year old, and that’s why when he said he practiced Thai Chi I decided that I’d try it. So there’s my med … itation that I’m considering. : Finally, don’t anyone get me wrong. I am not pushing non-compliance or whatever. There is, I’m sure, a real need for some people to balance their systems with outside help like a hypertensive must take BP medication to lower his high blood pressure. Thanks for all who participated in this discussion. I was trying to find someone who matched me to some degree (speaking of operative word). I know I just jumped in here, and you all have been kind to share. econobox. Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
Hi. If I am (have) sz, I have not been diagnosed and will likely not be diagnosed because I’m not ready to confront anyone (with the exception of what I am doing here under what I hope is a ‘guise) with my doubts about my mental well-being. I feel you all are thinking that’s it. Just ask a professional. There you go. Aren’t you all experts in what you have? I don’t hear voices, but when I was twelve I was waiting for God to tell me what my vocation will be (raised Catholic which might explain something about me, and of the age when nuns, teachers, priests and family insist that I will soon hear my calling). I was napping and praying for my vocation to be revealed. Finally, I heard God tell me to be a teacher. I told my parents. Can you imagine how excited I was? I mean, I heard God (he had a deep voice that vibrated my rib cage)! But my folks took it matter-of-factly. That’s when I thought that maybe experiencing something like that was a little nutty. Thereafter, I felt guilty over questioning my faith, and hid behind shyness and introversion. I suppose that episode counts as hearing voices. Otherwise, I hear my own nagging voice in my head 24/7 (I constantly qualify my statements and struggle to avoid sharing my "buts" with others) unless I sleep or am deeply engaged in conversation with a friend (yes, a real flesh and blood friend, but my "but"ing nature tends to make me argumentative because I can see opposing viewpoints and relish in devil advocacy. All this is probably neither here nor there. I am not asking for a diagnosis. I am asking if it is possible to live drug-free (no ’scripts/ no nothing) as a very mild sz? Are there degrees to sz? Anybody here doing this now? Please share. Thank you. econobox. Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
On Thu, 7 Oct 1999 18:09:18 +0100, "strange lost duck in the sky" <no.addr…@virgin.net> wrote: >econo…@my-deja.com wrote in message <7ti73b$le…@nnrp1.deja.com>… >>(he had a deep voice that vibrated my rib >>cage)! >Hey! In a nutshell! I was once in chapel at school and I begged and begged >and begged for an answer to a question, and I heard one word. "Yes" (it >turned out to be right). >I think you may very well have received your calling. But a teacher of >what? >It can range from mathematics to life…………
I don’t pray anymore, so I rely solely on my own voice which has me going down all these strange paths. Don’t laugh, but I think I’m going to go for my Master’s in Social Work (I have a BA in Education of all things — go figure). I think I have plenty of natural background built up for it. 
Or maybe I’ll try to teach over the ‘net. I’m more comfortable not showing my face. ;) Right now, I pretend that I’m Quai Chang Cane (sp?) or the Lone Ranger helping people whose paths I cross. econobox. >Michelle
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
econo…@my-deja.com wrote in message <7ti73b$le…@nnrp1.deja.com>… >(he had a deep voice that vibrated my rib >cage)!
Hey! In a nutshell! I was once in chapel at school and I begged and begged and begged for an answer to a question, and I heard one word. "Yes" (it turned out to be right). I think you may very well have received your calling. But a teacher of what? It can range from mathematics to life………… Michelle
Response:
Maybe God really did tell you to be a teacher,,, why do you think that’s a signe of SZ? As far as living off of drugs I’ve done it for years, if you add together all the times I’ve gone off my meds. You only need meds if your symptoms are driving you crazy and making it so you can’t function. If you feel you have a mild case of SZ, given that "mild" is the operative word, why even consider meds? Be happy it’s not worse, enjoy your life. sp – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -In article <7ti73b$le…@nnrp1.deja.com>, econo…@my-deja.com wrote: > Hi. If I am (have) sz, I have not been diagnosed and will likely not > be diagnosed because I’m not ready to confront anyone (with the > exception of what I am doing here under what I hope is a ‘guise) with > my doubts about my mental well-being. > I feel you all are thinking that’s it. Just ask a professional. There > you go. Aren’t you all experts in what you have? > I don’t hear voices, but when I was twelve I was waiting for God to > tell me what my vocation will be (raised Catholic which might explain > something about me, and of the age when nuns, teachers, priests and > family insist that I will soon hear my calling). I was napping and > praying for my vocation to be revealed. Finally, I heard God tell me > to be a teacher. I told my parents. Can you imagine how excited I > was? I mean, I heard God (he had a deep voice that vibrated my rib > cage)! But my folks took it matter-of-factly. That’s when I thought > that maybe experiencing something like that was a little nutty. > Thereafter, I felt guilty over questioning my faith, and hid behind > shyness and introversion. > I suppose that episode counts as hearing voices. Otherwise, I hear my > own nagging voice in my head 24/7 (I constantly qualify my statements > and struggle to avoid sharing my "buts" with others) unless I sleep or > am deeply engaged in conversation with a friend (yes, a real flesh and > blood friend, but my "but"ing nature tends to make me argumentative > because I can see opposing viewpoints and relish in devil advocacy. > All this is probably neither here nor there. I am not asking for a > diagnosis. I am asking if it is possible to live drug-free (no > ’scripts/ no nothing) as a very mild sz? Are there degrees to sz? > Anybody here doing this now? Please share. Thank you. > econobox. > Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ > Before you buy.
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